Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Not part of my normal Maya 'verse, but written for a Castle friend! Post-BDM, totally canon, no OCs so everyone can enjoy. Jayne has had a slight accident, and someone offers to help him out. STANDALONE


“Sit still.”

“I’m tryin’.”

“You’re not trying. You’re ... wriggling.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t get it in your eyes and up your ... ow!”

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“It gorram stings!”

“It’s meant to. That’s what it’s for.”

“It’s all your sister’s fault.”

“How can it possibly be anything to do with River?”

“She was the one playing catch with one of those niou se canisters in the bay. Tossed it at me.”

“And you didn’t duck?”

“I caught the damn thing only it went off. Musta been a faulty safety.”

“Then I’m sorry, Jayne, but I’m glad it was you who caught the brunt of it and not River.”

Jayne growled deep in his throat.

“How is he?” Mal leaned into the infirmary, looking from his ex-mercenary to his doctor.

“I’ve cleaned out his eyes,” Simon said, shining a light into those sometime blue, now very much reddened orbs. “He took a full dose, so it’s going to be a while before he can see properly again.”

“I'm blind?” Jayne couldn’t have sounded much more panicked.

“No,” Simon assured him quickly, a hand on the big man’s shoulder. “It’s entirely temporary.”

“Better be.” He winced again. “Nice cargo you got us, Cap,” he groused.

Mal shrugged. “We needed the cashey-money.”

“That much?”

“You want to eat?”


“Then we needed the job.” Mal’s tone softened. “Didn’t anticipate this particular batch of Alliance pacifiers to be quite so ... precipitous.”

“Precipitous?” Simon raised an eyebrow in query.

“I checked it personally and it looks like we got a faulty batch. Far as I can see anyone handling one of the containers would’ve been in danger of it going off afore time.” He chuckled briefly. “And don’t worry – I’ll be having words with Badger.”

“Long as I’m around to see it.” Jayne put a lot of emphasis on ‘see’, although neither man listening was in any doubt that ‘seeing’ was the last thing he wanted to do the self-proclaimed King of Persephone.

“You will,” Simon said, swiping a last wad of decontaminant across his patient’s slightly burned skin.


“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”

“Hmmn.” Jayne knew about bedside manners, even if he had none himself.

Mal leaned on the counter, his arms crossed. “Kaylee’s making sure the rest of ‘em are all secure, but I’m thinking we should maybe put ‘em into the airlock, just in case.”

Simon’s hand jumped. “Kaylee?” It had only been seven months since Miranda, less since he’d first taken the young mechanic into his bed – although technically it was probably the other way around – so it was acceptable that Simon sounded more than a little concerned. “Is that a good idea?”

“She knows what she’s doing. And she’s wearing a decon suit.” Mal straightened up. “We wouldn’t want any of that stuff leaking into the atmo, would we? Not with Zoe in her condition.”

“No, no, I understand that.” Simon looked past him into the common area where the Firefly’s first mate was sitting, her hand absently stroking the swollen mound at her waist as she read a cheap novel she’d picked up at their last stop, the same skyplex where they’d collected their cargo. “Speaking of which, it would probably be a good idea if I run some tests, make sure it didn’t get into the life support system.”

“Good thinking, doc,” Mal said approvingly. “Albatross isolated the bay soon as she realised what had happened, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Is she all right?” Jayne asked before he could stop himself.

“Who, River?”

The big man was glad his face was already puce from the mace – if he’d blushed he would never have lived it down. “Just wondering, is all.”

“She’s fine,” Simon said. “I checked her over first.”

“First?” Jayne managed to sound annoyed. “You could see I was in a worse way, and you looked to her first?” He could remember rolling on the deck, trying hard not to scream because it would draw the mace into his lungs, but it ruttin’ burned.

“She was easier to deal with, and I knew I needed time to sort you out.”

Mal tried to hide the smile, knowing that Jayne was missing the good doctor looking about as embarrassed as he ever did. Still, it was to be expected. River was his sister, after all, and he’d gone through so much, lost everything just to make sure she was safe. Of course, he’d found something else, something better, but that was never going to change the fact that he wanted to look after her. “Jayne, you ain’t gonna win this one.” A thought occurred to him. “You know, there was a feller I knew once used to suck up one of those pacifier things for breakfast each morning. He said it cleaned out his sinuses.”

Simon was sincerely interested, as well as glad of the change of subject. “Really?”

“A’course, he was crazy. And he kinda had no sense of smell or taste left.”

“No, that would do it.”

The ex-merc grumbled under his breath, then flinched as he felt something placed over his eyes. “What’re you doing?”

“You need to give your eyes time to recover,” Simon said, taping down the gauze pads. “You should be fine in twenty-four hours, but until then –”

“Twenty-four ...” Jayne tossed away the hands he could feel around his face and got to his feet. “You tellin’ me I ain't gonna be able to see for a full ruttin’ day?”

“If you don’t want to end up with double vision or inability to judge distances for the rest of your life, yes.”

“Double vision?”

“Or worse.”

Mal was silently impressed. Even unable to see Jayne was pretty impressive, looming over the younger man, yet Simon hadn’t even stepped back. Besides, they’d all been around two months before when the crew had been caught in a bar fight on Ezra, and all the lights had gone out. When the illuminations came back on, Jayne had been standing in the middle of a ring of downed men, some of them still groaning, and more than one bleeding from various wounds.

Back in the infirmary there was a long moment where things hung on a knife edge, then Jayne sat back down.

“Then I guess I can wait that long,” he conceded. “Still got a job to get done.”

“You’ll be fine well before we land on Lilac,” Simon said.

“How’m I supposed to get around ‘til these come off?” Jayne asked, gesturing towards the pads.

“I’ll do it.”

They all looked around towards the doorway – well, two of them looked while the third just turned his head towards the female voice.

“River?” Simon asked. “What are you suggesting?”

The young psychic was standing just outside the cool blue room – things were better for her since Miranda, but she couldn’t bring herself to enter the infirmary unless she really needed to – and she was smiling sweetly.

“I can lead him wherever he wants to go,” she explained, swinging slightly from side to side. “I feel ... responsible.”

“’Tross, that ain’t necessary,” Mal said. “I'm sure he can find his own way about. It ain’t like it’s that big a boat.”

“I don’t mind.” She turned her huge dark eyes on him. “It would give me something to do.”

“Uh, Mal, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Jayne said, trying to hitch further back onto the medbed.

Mal glanced at Simon, seeing pretty much the same expression he knew was on his own face reflected back at him. It said this could be fun, seeing River torture Jayne.

“I don’t know ...” Simon said, trying not to make it seem too easy.

“It’d be pretty boring,” Mal pointed out.

“I don’t mind,” River said again, twirling a tress of her long hair around her finger. “I can fit it in around flying Serenity.”

“Well ...” Mal pretended to consider, then said, “Jayne, looks like you’ve got yourself your very own human guide dog.”

“Mal ...” Jayne whined.

“And play nice,” Mal added.

“It ain't me you need to worry about.” Jayne shuddered.

Simon suppressed a chuckle. “I just need to take some blood, make sure the mace didn’t leave any nasty surprises.”

“Thanks, doc,” Mal said, stepping out of the infirmary, turning his gaze on River. “And you ... don’t be too hard on him.”

“I promise.” She crossed her heart with a single finger.

“Right.” Mal grinned, then headed up the back stairs to check on the bridge. With maybe a side trip to the kitchen where Inara was making tea.

Zoe put her book down on the sofa next to her and clasped her hands protectively on her swollen stomach, her grief-fuelled stoicism cracking, just a little.

“Did you do that on purpose, little one?” she asked quietly, smiling at River.

The young woman crossed the common area to stand in front of her. “The mace? No. I wouldn’t.”

“I was thinking more of lying to your brother.”

River’s eyes opened wider. “Lying?”

“I saw you in the cargo bay. Before the ... uh ... incident.”


“And Mal ain’t gonna like it when he finds out you were led astray.”

“I was the one doing the leading.”

“Yeah. I saw.” She levered herself up until she was on her feet. “Just you be careful. He finds out you were kissing Jayne and he’s not going to be the only one you’ll need to worry about.”

“It was just a kiss.”

“I believe you. But Jayne’s old enough to be your father.”

“And I’m old enough to choose.”

“That you are,” Zoe agreed, patting her unborn child. “And I’m not going to be the one to tell you he’s not right for you – that would make me a hypocrite.”

“Wash loved you,” River said, barely audible.

“I know.” The dark Amazon smiled. “Just take it slowly. And remember, when your brother finds out, I can’t move that fast to protect you.”

River laughed, the sound filling the ship, and in the infirmary Simon wondered at the smile that flitted across a certain ex-mercenary’s face.


Wednesday, March 9, 2011 4:14 PM


Always love your River and Jayne with Simon is just too cute. Great stuff, Girlfriend, as always. Got yourself quite the talent. :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011 6:22 AM


An awesome compliant story.And Jayne still gets the girl.

Thursday, March 10, 2011 7:08 AM


Did make me smile, now we know what happened to set the mace off! Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"

Friday, March 11, 2011 9:29 PM


I'm just glad Jayne's in the right frame of mind concerning getting maced while making out with River...I know I would be very grumpy if I was blinded for a while in a situation like that. Mainly from the fact it wasn't a more advanced level of intimacy to compensate, but...


Superb work here, Jane0904! Definitely loved the banter between Simon and Jayne :D


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Monied Individual - Part VI
“This is one of those dreams, ain’t it? Where Jayne ends up riding an elephant and singing in Latin.” He looked at his crew again, all of whom were, at least metaphorically, drawing back from him. “Okay, so you don’t have those. Maybe I am going crazy after all.”

[Maya. Post-BDM. The Fosters are keeping a lot of things up their sleeves, and Mal is determined to find out what.]

Monied Individual - Part V
“Well, let’s see. Hank and Kaylee are off seeing if they can get that generator back to strength, and Zoe’s watching out for ‘em. I ain’t letting Simon or River in the same room as Badger if I can help it, and as much fun as it could be seeing Inara trying to buckle on a gunbelt around that pregnancy of hers, it ain’t gonna happen. That leaves Sam, and I ain’t even gonna try and warp his sensibilities by suggesting he wear one.”

[Maya. Post-BDM. Badger holds a tea party, Hank works for his living, and the results are in. Enjoy!]

Monied Individual - Part IV
“Pleased to meet you,” Hank said, having to stop himself from wiping his hand down his pants. The touch of the other man’s hand had been like old paper, dry and brittle. It reminded him of one of the vids he’d watched recently, about a mummified corpse coming back to life. Except that was ridiculous.

[Maya. Post-BDM. It's time to meet the enem- sorry, family.]

Monied Individual - Part III
“You two really need to get a room.” Simon’s voice drifted through from the rear of the cargo bay.
“We had one,” Mal growled. “And you shouldn’t be listening in to private conversations.”
“Why not?” the doctor asked, walking towards them. “It seems to be the major preoccupation of this crew. When we’re not actually doing crime, of course.”
[Maya. Post-BDM. The crew get their first sight of the Triskelion mansion, and Simon stirs the pot.]

Monied Individual - Part II
“I don’t know what you all have against me being rich. I’d share, you know that. But you seem determined to keep me poor!” He stormed out, the door crashing closed behind him.

[Maya. Post-BDM. The crew learn more about Hank's good fortune, and try to come to grips with the Triskelion family tree.]

“After we deliver the goods we can set Serenity down somewhere cold. See some real snow.”

Merry Christmas to everyone! Just another in my occasional series of Mal/Jayne conversations, this time with a season theme. Enjoy!

Monied Individual - Part I
Hank’s parents had died when he was young, and his grandmother had brought him up. Mal considered it was her fault he was the way he was, but that was unfair – Hank was who he was always destined to be. Or possibly he was meant to be someone else entirely.

[Maya. Post-BDM. A new story for your delectation and delight. Persephone, Badger and lawyers ... what could possibly go wrong?]

Secrets - Part XXVIII - Conclusion
River shook herself, turning from the rabbit hole. She didn’t feel like being Alice, and while Jayne’s grin sometimes made her think of the Cheshire Cat, the dormouse was asleep and likely to remain so. Of much more interest were the secrets. So many, some old, some new, some borrowed and some blue. And for once she didn’t care if she was referencing the Earth-that-was marriage ceremony. That wasn’t the point. Inara, the Bodens, Harper Lecomb and the Culver diamond, Randall Lecomb and his homicidal tendencies … all secrets, overlaid with the flavour of the Alliance and their need to control.
[Maya. Post-BDM. Secrets comes to a conclusion, but some are still waiting to see the light of day.]

Secrets- Part XXVII
“I don’t always trust him when he’s operating on Jayne. A slip of the scalpel, too many drugs, too little oxygen, and I would be a free woman. My worries. Not his thoughts. But he is my brother. For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. And we have experienced them all.”
[Maya. Post-BDM. Home stretch now on Secrets, with the crisis passed for now and decisions made. Thanks so much for those of you who have stuck with this!]

Secrets - Part XXVI
"Have you never done that? In all those times you were treating someone in the hospital, when you were the great Doctor Tam, didn’t you once tell less than the truth to someone if it made them feel less desperate?”
[Maya. Post-BDM. Inara's fate, and what follows. My apologies for the wait!]