River sat at the mess table pouting, while Mal and Simon looked on. When no one spoke for long minutes, Mal gave up and jumped in.

“Lil’ Albatross,” he said “You mind telling me and your brother exactly why Jayne ain’t talkin’ to you?”

Simon rubbed a bruised cheek.

“And,” Simon said “Why he’s being more ape-like than normal?”

River shook her head.

“Somethin’ happened,” Mal said “Something ‘tween you two and I want to know what it is. If it affects the rest of my crew it’s my business.”

River gave him a dirty look, but conceded.

“I spaced his dog,” she said.

Both men stared at her, mouths open in shock.

“You what?!” Mal yelled “You spaced his dog?! Wait….What ruttin’ dog? There is no dog.”

River looked down at the table and rolled a small silver car back and forth over the surface.

“He insisted that cars could go to jail. She informed him that the concept was not logical. And she told him that he could have all the greens he liked, but four greens do not make one red. The equation doesn’t make sense. He called her moon-brain and took a red despite her explanations.”

Simon dropped his hand from his cheek and smiled and Mal snorted. River glared at them as they tried, and failed, to reign in their amusement.

“Also,” she said “His dog ran faster than my car.”

“Mei mei,” Simon said softly “You were bound to lose at something. Four houses make a hotel. He was right…. Never thought I’d say that.”

“It is physiologically impossible,” she protested “A dog like that isn’t to be trusted.”

Jayne poked his head around the corner of the door.

“Moon-brain!” he bellowed before pulling his head back around into the hallway.

River stood up and pointed at the door.

“Your dog is specious!” she yelled.

She sat back down in a huff and Mal lost his fight with the hilarity, laughing until tears streamed down his face.

“For a genius,” he said, out of breath “You’re an awful sore loser.”

“The concepts are not mutually exclusive,” she said between gritted teeth.

“When I was ten,” Simon said to no one in particular “I beat her at Tall Card. Plums high. I won’t tell you the places I found plums for the next week. I can’t look at a plum now.”

He shivered.