AIB 18 'Stupid Is As...
Sunday, February 8, 2009

Angelle takes on a problem by herself only to find that something's are better shared....


Angelle's mine....all the rest is Joss'. -----------------------------------------

Sleep...a state of ultimate rest, relaxation, and also vulnerability.....some say they can't get enough while others survive fine with very little...all I know is I hate being interrupted, especially when my dream involves a very naked captain and a couple pairs of metal cuffs....

"Angelle?" a voice that was definitely not suppose to be in my dream called to me as my dream Mal had just found a way to undress me with his teeth.

"I'm dead. Please don't disturb." I grumbled as I felt hands grabbed at my shoulders.

"Angelle, you need to wake up." Now, I'm an okay person with the whole touchy feelly kind of thing, but when I'm in the middle of one of the best dreams of my life, the last thing I need is someone grabbing me. What could I do, but throw open my eyes and point a gun at their head. Sadly, two beautiful blues eyes stared back at me and the long metal barrel.

"Jasmine, what the hell?" I growled, releasing the hammer and shaking my head. "You could have gotten your ass shot, you foolish girl."

"I know, but Niska's men...they're downstairs and threatening Madam if she doesn't give up our Daddy's location. They keep saying something about the head Sam owes him."

I cussed, knowing my father had been stupid in making a deal with the Devil many years ago. Mainly because my father wasn't a killer, I was and when he decided to take a job with Adelai Niska, I knew it would only come to bite us in the ass. Of course, it did, especially after my daddy found out the head Niska wanted belonged to a father with three little kids, who had lost their mommy. Seemed the target had borrowed money to save his wife, though it was too little too late, and when he had asked Niska for an extension in paying it, well, the crime boss decided he'd rather have his head than the money. I've been told they make great candy dishes.

Anyway, my daddy, being the great compassionate man he is, took the man and his kids to the Bayou and basically, told Niska to drop dead. Not always the best thing to say to a man who has been known to torture and kill his relatives or at least his wife's. Thankfully, the location of our little home has remained a secret from the crime lord, but it didn't stop him from trying.

"I came and got you the second they showed up." She looked worried and as Mal shifted in his sleep, I hushed her.

"Does Lou Lou still have my stash of weapons here?" I watched as she nodded. Smiling, I walked over and grabbed my black jeans from the floor.

"Are you going to wake him?" Jasmine motioned to where Mal lay, his hands folded across his chest. He looked so peaceful, hopefully, dreaming the dream I was before the rude interruption.

"No. Let him sleep. Man's got enough to worry about with that companion and his ship." I smiled at her. "We take care of our own problems."

"I hope you're right. There are about six really big guys and they've got tattoos all over them."

"Sound like Niska's men. Let's go find those weapons and show those men a proper Madam Blackthorne greeting, huh?" I swept my arm over her shoulders and was careful to close the door quietly as I left. * * * *

Now, truly I'm not much for sentiment, but even a hard ass like me gets a bit teary eyed when face to face with enough guns and knives and what-have-yous to arm the next Apocalypse. As a whole, I am a bullets and blades type girl. Mostly revolvers when it comes to the bullets and a good long hunting knife when it came to blades. What can I say, every woman loves the feel of cold hard steel against their leg, or is that rock hard flesh?! Sorry, I was get those confused.

So, with guns on my hips, a shotgun on my shoulder, and a nice size knife at the small of my back, I walked down the steps as Jasmine cowered behind me. It was time to become another name on good old Niska's bad list.

“Tell us, woman, or I will let you watch as my men tear into each and every one of your girls 'till you do.” I could see from the half open parlor door, the biggest and most assuredly the leader stood next to my tied up aunt, still in her robe and still one of the strongest women I had ever met in my life.

“Leave my girls out of this. They've done nothing.”

“Oh, but you have. The location and then you can have your little whorehouse back.”

Ooo, that was not the best way to start out with my aunt. She could call it whatever she wanted, but no one and I do mean NO ONE called her little establishment a whorehouse. I could see her stiffen from where I stood and I readied my gun. A distraction was just what I needed and that was exactly what I was about to get.

“And who was your Momma who done taught you manners?” I could hear the swamp coming out of her voice and I could so tell she had been around me and my daddy just a wee too much.

“Give me the location, Bitch.” He went to grab for her and that was my cue. Tossing open the parlor door, I let the guns at my side do the talking. Three men at my right bought it first, each a single shot to the head. The two on the left weren't as easy. The first ducked behind the couch and the other fled to the small piano in the corner. Big guy, or the one that had a hold of my aunt flipped her so she was a shield that prevented me from killing him instantly.

The couch potato fired the first shot, which I felt fly past my right ear and strike the wall behind me. Reaching for the long shotgun I had slung over my shoulder, I watched as his head popped up and then let the buckshot do the rest. Not sure how much you know about guns, but a couple pounds of buckshot can make short work of both wood and stuffing as well as guts and bone. Let's just say, it would be interesting trying to clean him up from the back wall. Something I am sure somehow I'd get recruited to do.

Reloading, I felt the big guy that had my aunt take aim at me. Seeing as the couch had no longer become much of a safe place to hide, I ran toward the chair Zoe had sat in earlier and tipped it just as the bullet meant for me took out the right leg of the chair. Piano dude also took a shot, but thankfully, he must have been more muscle than anything because he didn't even come close. Sliding the shotgun over my shoulder to fire, I heard my aunt's voice cut over the chaos.

“So, help me, Angelle, you best not hit that piano or there will be nothing left for your daddy to claim.”

“I'm trying to save your life here, Lou and you're worried about a damn piano.” I called back at her as another leg of the chair disappeared and another wild shot dropped some china pieces on my head. Guess the stray shot had found my aunt's good tea pot. She was not gonna be too happy and as ballsy as she was, I could see her sending Niska the bill. So, without the ability to drop the piano boy like I did the couch potato, things had to get creative and I was about to do just that. Spying the rather large lamp that hung behind the piano and knowing full well it weighed probably as much as me, I figured it would do the trick without too much damage to the instrument. Reaching for the large magnum revolver at my side, I felt the last leg of the chair cease to be. Praying Aunt Lou would forgive me, I heard the barrel bark as its bullet hit the heavy cord that held the lamp. Not completely tore apart, the wires strained for only a second before there was on audible snap. Piano dude had, only but a moment to say goodbye to his maker as all of that large weighted lamp and its many points made him into one royal pincushion. Yup, I'd be cleaning that up as well.

“Come out where I can see you and drop your weapons, or I will slit her pretty throat.” The last guy and the leader said and I knew by his look, he'd do just what he promised. Sending my trusty revolvers and the shotgun to the floor, I stood hands raised in surrender.

“You really are out numbered 'cuz even if you somehow kill her, I promise you, you won't get out of here alive.” I growled at him, knowing full well even if he shot me, I could still get to his throat with my knife before he died and yes, before you say it, I should have woke Mal.

“Figure I'll kill you both and Niska will promote me. Sam's daughter and sister....what a find!” He grinned. “But, which should I kill first?”

“Seems to me, you might want to start with the one behind you and the gun pointed at your head, if I were you.” Let me tell you, if ever a voice sounded so good, it was Mal's at that very second. Dummy turned, but it was all over as his head ceased to be and my aunt fell to the ground, unharmed and fighting mad.

Coming over to me, I prepared for the slap to the back of the head I knew she was going to give me, but instead, she wrapped her arms around me and held me tight. “If you weren't here...” she muttered into my shoulder as I patted her back. For a second, that's what we did as I just held her and stared at my hero, standing with gun drawn looking at me with his cold blue eyes.

“Zoe, anyone else around?” he called to the unseen shadow as Zoe appeared at the other door, her mare's leg out and ready to fire.

“No, sir. That was all of them, but seems to me their Niska's men.”

Finding my voice, I muttered, “They were looking for my dad. Wanted the location of the Bayou.”

I felt the hand connect before I had time to plan and my aunt standing there no longer worried. “You could have been killed coming in here by yourself. Why didn't you wake them?” She pointed at Mal and Zoe as girl's heads including that of Jasmine began popping up around the two doors.

“This is something I'd like hearing as well.” Mal stated, his look not one of happiness.

“My problem and I didn't want to endanger them. They have crew to save tomorrow.”

“Angelle gets the whole not asking for help thing from her daddy. One day, girl, it will be the death of you.” Aunt Lou Lou walked around seeing what had survived our little gunfight. “And you will clean up all this mess you made. And your daddy is gonna buy me a new couch and chair.”

“Tea pot as well.”Zoe walked over and lifted up what was left of the pot that hit me earlier.

“When is your daddy gonna learn?” Lou whispered as she made her way out of the parlor to be hugged and fussed over by the girls.

I walked toward Mal and just stood in front of him wanting to reach out and knowing it was a bad idea.

“You hurt?” Mal spoke and I shook my head. “Good.” He turned from me and began to walk away.

“Mal, I...” I muttered as he spun on his heels and just looked at me.

“If you were my crew, I'd have you in the airlock right now pleading to be let in.” He whispered, “but, it seems you don't think you are so I'm not sure if I should shoot you or turn you over my knee and give you a whoopin' for endangering your family as well as every girl in here.”

“Yes, Sir.” I muttered.

“The next time you decide to be stupid...don't.” I watched him as he continued up the stairs and I felt like a complete idiot. I know it served me right.

“You realize if he didn't care about you, he wouldn't have said those things.” Zoe stated behind me as she handed me a broom and a dustpan.

“I know. Think I really messed up, huh?” I turned to her as I surveyed the clean up I would be doing for a few hours.

“At least, maybe now you got your answer whether he like likes you.” She smiled as I dropped the broom and dustpan to help her with a body.


A few hours later and a soft knock to my door as I stepped in to see Mal cleaning his gun, a familiar sight that reminded me again of my daddy, who would do that when I was out on a hunt or just in a place that cause him to worry. "Can I come in?"

"Your room, if I ain't mistaken." He whispered, blowing on the barrel before plunging the wire brush back inside.

"I'm sorry that I didn't wake you. I should of." I could feel my wet hair against my neck, having showered after the clean up and finding out dinner would be a might late for obvious reasons.

"You're just sayin' that because you got your ass in trouble. If you took care of all those men, you'd be spoutin' a different tune likely."

"Probably. Been by myself now awhile. Kind of hard leanin' on someone else." I looked at him as his hand stopped its cleaning.

"One thing I learned, Angelle, in the war and in the black, being alone is kind of like being dead. Only things that you got to show for it are an empty box and a hole to go with it." Placing the gun in its holster, he stood dusting off the pants and his shirt before walking past me toward the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him as his hand stopped on the door knob.

"Back to where I belong. Back to Serenity. I can save Inara without you and not endanger the lives of these people."

"But, I can make easier." I pleaded with him, hoping he would turn back.

"Nothing about you is easy." He pulled open the door and as he walked through it, I heard him whisper. "Not one damn thing."


Monday, February 9, 2009 2:56 AM


Loved, loved, LOVED this! I thought Zoe was brilliant and it amused me how Angelle reverted almost to little girl mode when Mal told her off for not waking him when they had trouble and putting the other girls at risk through her actions. And Mal going to sort out the rescue of Inara without her kind of would bring it home even harder what it feels like not to be included when there is trouble to be sorted. But seriously, Niska's boys? That is not going to end there. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Monday, February 9, 2009 2:50 PM


Oh, Angelle, it isn't weakness that makes you accept help from people, it's strength that makes you see you need it. And Mal has every right to be pissed off. Just when they were getting along so well. And like Amdobell, I can't see any good of it being Niska's boys, nor can I see Angelle just sitting back and letting Mal rescue Inara. Maybe she's going to learn something from all this - I hope so. Otherwise her burgeoning relationship with Mal is going to die before it's ever got going.


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