The Human Equation ------------------------------------------------ based on the World of Firefly by Joss Whedon

He walked with a purpose, to get the hell of this planet before he could change his mind. All he needed was one ship bound for who knows where and it would be good enough for him. Maybe find a good Alliance friendly bar to start a brawl in.

Something reached his mind, a small voice that reminded him of what he had just said goodbye to, three words that made him hesitate in his step. 'Goodbye, Old Friend.' It was soft and full of sorrow, for which he knew the cause. For a moment, his heart felt heavy, but then like the passing leaf in the wind, the softness was gone replaced by the hard dark shell.

With it though, came a voice, one he had not heard in more years than his fingers could count, a still small and ever annoying voice. 'You know she needs you.'

“Shut up. No one asked you. Besides, haven't I killed you, yet?” 'Ski grumbled at his conscience.

'No, but I have been gone awhile, thanks to you.'

“Can't say as I welcome you back.” Ski spoke out loud. He wasn't sure why, maybe because he was so use to Cat being the one to stir him the other way, the way of not shooting first or running into a place with guns at the ready. A passerby looked at him strangely and 'Ski glared at him. “Making me look crazy.”

'Don't talk to me out loud then.'

“Can't help that. You sound like...” He stopped, not wanting to say her name, not wanting to admit he was walking away.

'Cat. Is that what you were going to say?'

“You fucking know what I was going to say.” He yelled and more people looked at him.

'Might want to duck in a corner if you are going to continue to talk to me like I'm real.' The inner voice laughed. 'Be a bit of a laugh though, if you had to use the mental link, she gave you to call her up and bail you out of the loony bin.'

“Riot and a half, I'm sure.” 'Ski turned down an alley that seemed void of people and then against the wall lighting a cigarette. His hand flinched to the side before he took another breath,

'Aren't the same when you can't share them with her. Miss the taste of her?'

“Maybe I do or maybe it's nice to smoke an entire one without her beast's germs on it.”

'Mean that, do you?'

'Ski sighed. “You know what I fucking mean.”

'You know she can not fight that creature alone even if she has the full help of the beast. He is male and a lot bigger than her. It would be the way they would have picked him.'

“She has Mal and the rest of the crew.”

'They're human, even as much as River is like her. We are not.'

“And I must suffer for it every damn day.”

'How much more will you if you know you let her die? I know what she means to you, even though you are afraid to admit it.'

“I don't love her.”

'Never said you did, but you have also never kissed anyone like you did her in that dream. You let all of your walls down for once and you let them down because there is NO ONE you trust more, not even yourself.'

“And that's why I can't stay by her. Because eventually, she will die and then so will you.”

'So walking away will end that. I'm still around, in fact, leaving her as brought me to the surface. She's been doing my job pretty well.'

“Sadly, I know.” Ski quieted as a woman approached him, her smell was sweet and filled with lustful thoughts of money and sex.

“Wanna ride, mister? Give you a good price.”

“Sorry, Sweetheart, but I'm a....” He stopped as the words he would say fell from his mouth. “Not interested.”

“Suit yourself.” She grinned, swaying her hips as she strolled away.

'Can't use that excuse anymore. Makes you sad to see it pass.'

“End of an era is all.” He ran his hand over his short hair, though it was in need of a good haircut. “You're not gonna shut up ever, are you?”

'Not until you admit I'm right.'

“God, you even sound like her.” Ski turned back toward where he came.

'What are you doing?'

“First, I'm going to get a haircut and then I going to get my wife back.”

'What if she don't want you? What if she got that divorce?'

“Well, then it will make for a very interesting day.” He laughed at first at the thought of carrying Cat over his shoulder back to the Wed and Bed. Strangely, it involved lots of blood and a few bruises. Might even a broken rib or two. He just wanted the voice in his head to quiet. Cat was easier to listen to and ignore, plus she was a might better on the eyes, and one thing was for sure, if he let that other male beast kill her, he'd have to hunt it down and die trying to avenge her death, because as much as he wanted to walk away from her, there was just no way to get away from Cat.

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She stacked the weapons the crew was able to salvage against the one wall of the cargo bay as Jayne helped her with the bigger ones. They worked in silence, the big man still not too comfortable around the assassin and who could really blame him. Two days before, she had almost killed him or at least her other half had.

“One more and then you can go.” She smiled at him as he looked strangely at her.

“Why me?”

“Because you can lift more than most.”

“No, I mean of all the people you could chose to kill, why me?”

She stopped what she was doing, and looked toward Jayne. “I didn't chose you, Jayne. The thing inside me did and her reasons I could not begin to explain. You could have been closest, you could have smelled best, hell, you could have look at her wrong...she doesn't share her thoughts on the topic and it's not something I want to know.”

“Who'd you kill? Of all us, given the choice?”

“Huh?” Cat stared at him speechless. “I don't want to kill anyone of you.”

“Come on. It's just a question. You're a killer, who'd ya kill?”

“Right now, Boy, Probably you.” His voice hit her ears before she turned to see his silhouette, a smoke ring around his head sticking like some sick halo.

“Hey, Cat, River's gonna need the coordinates for our destination.” Mal came from the bridge and stopped when he saw him. “Hello, 'Ski. Heard you had left us?”

“I did, but I figured where you were going you could use a good gun.” His dark eyes never left Cat's as he spoke, the mood in the cargo bay very solemn.

“We could use one. Are you asking me if you are welcome back on board?” Mal didn't mention the condition Cat had returned to him in because in an odd way, he could tell 'Ski knew.

“I'm asking.” It killed 'Ski to ask the captain, but it hurt more the way Cat just stared at him not saying anything.

“Well, guess then it's up to Cat whether you can come back.” He looked toward Jayne. “Those weapons secured tight yet.”

“No, Mal. Was workin' on it.”

“Well, you let Cat and 'Ski finish. Need you in the dining area. Put up some of the food Kaylee and Simon bought.”

“Awww..that there's women's work.”

“Well, it just became yours. When you're ready, Cat.”

She nodded as her alert ears picked up his voice and the sound of Jayne's grunts, maddened at what he now had to do. 'Ski was still looking straight at her waiting for a response. Instead of saying anything, she walked over to another of the big crates, grabbing one side. “You going help me or not?”

“Right there, Ba..Cat.” He lifted the other side and they placed it against the wall. “Does this mean I can stay?”

“Captain said you could, didn't he?” “Wasn't interested in what he had to say.”

“You made me cry. Made me hurt. “ She looked at him, gripping the piece of paper in her hand. “Made me signed a paper I never thought I would.”

“So you signed it then.” His face became long as he reached for the sheet. With a quick flick, it opened and he saw her spot where the wife needed to sign was blank. “How'd you know? How did ya figure I'd be back?”

“I didn't. Just wasn't ready to give you up.”

“Well, Babe,” he smiled at her. “Next time I leave, I promise both of us will be wanting it. I mean eventually you'll want me gone.”

“Well, gone, but not forgotten.” Cat walked up to him and they stood facing each other. Noises could be heard in the background as Serenity got ready to take flight. It brought a smile to both of their faces, Two friends, closer than siblings, stood in one perfect moment in time.

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*feedback is always wanted, appreciated, and keeps me wanting to write......