Never Meant to Die This Way

------------------------------------------------ based on the world of Firefly by Joss Whedon

He carried her like she was glass, something he thought he would never, ever do. Blood from her wound had dripped down his leg and arm. Each boot print he made had a little of her in it as he made his way to the ship he knew she was thinking about calling home. Damn her for making him worry and when she woke up, his wife was getting an earful. If she woke up...

Simon was there when he got on board Serenity, the ship still as unwelcoming as it was when they had left the Academy. He placed her gently on the bed, but winced when he heard her moan in pain. She had been completely out of it for an hour now and he could tell by the way she smelled, Cat had lost a lot of blood. Sadly, he knew she was on her own, no one there would have her blood type.

The doctor set to work as 'Ski watched, seated on the small counter near the wall. Mal and the others came in and out, but as moments turned to hours, 'Ski felt basically, completely alone. Simon was good at what he did, better than 'Ski had seen in a very long time, trying to make sure Cat did not lose any more of her precious blood. Three balls dropped into the small tin and 'Ski knew it had been only her strange luck that it didn't hit and destroy her heart.

“She's damaged her right lung, busted up three of her ribs, and the worst is..I think it grazed her heart.” Simon looked from Mal to Zoe and then to 'Ski. “Unless that serum has a time limit that's short, she'll die. Might be a day, might be a week, but the damage done without a blood transfusion, it's impossible.”

“She was never meant to die this way.” 'Ski mumbled as the others looked at him. He shook his head and walked out. The last bit was not heard by anyone. “And I was never going to care this much again.”

*************************************************

Kaylee had watched 'Ski leave the infirmary, his head down and his steps quick, It looked as if he was headed to his room and Kaylee followed hot on his heels. “She'll be okay.”

“Not right now, Kaylee.” He shouted at her.

“I know you're mad, but that won't help her any. All we can do is...” 'Ski turned on the balls of his feet and went to grab Kaylee's neck. Before he did though, his mind reconsidered. Instead, he stuck his finger in her face.

“You have no idea how I feel, Babe.” The name slipped from his mouth and he wished he could retract it, but what was done was done. “You have your family, even fucking one of them and the reason you do is because SHE wouldn't give up on them. Now, she's laying on a bed because of them. Thank god for fucking irony.”

“But, Simon will...”

“Let her die. Glad you figured that out.” He got in her face and growled. “She's as good as dead, Kaylee, and I'm off this boat as soon as she does. You see, Pretty girl, the only reason I'm staying is so I can watch your captain lose the woman he supposedly loves. Guess when you got two options, number one ain't worth as much as it use to.”

“Mal ain't like that.”

“Then explain why he stood there as Zoe shot Cat.” He shook his head and walked away, passing a very solemn River.

Kaylee walked up and hugged her. “Don't worry nun'. He's just worried.”

“I helped.” River frowned. “I helped kill my sister.”

“Will she die?” Zoe came up from behind them, not really knowing how to think. She had never meant to kill Cat, just wound her and then, River shot her full of the serum.

River stared blankly into the space 'Ski had just occupied. “I really don't know.” Her face looked bewildered as she moved toward the infirmary.

******************************************

Zoe walked toward the mysterious man she had not really gotten to know. He was loading a gun, counting as he did and when he saw her, she swore he reached to pull back the hammer. “I came in peace.”

“Really. Not so much here.” He held the gun tightly resisting the urge to kill her, see how this woman could heal from a gunshot to the chest.

“She was going to kill Jayne.”

“And?” He shrugged.

“I had to stop her. Never meant to hurt her, figured she'd heal herself.”

“If you wanted to wound her, a shot to the kneecap would have done it. Would have stopped her from attacking Jayne and she would have turned on you.”

“Well, not sure how it would have been better.”

“I do.” With that, he pushed past her and went toward the only person he actually felt okay around, even though she was almost dead and had a captain hanging on her.

****************************************

Mal and Cat had switched places, but this time there was no hope. Eventually she would die and this time it was somewhat his fault. The Academy had really done a number on her, making her an animal, one that scared and worried him. Maybe it was to protect his crew or maybe it reminded him of reavers, but what he had called her had been unacceptable. She has saved him, the crew, and his ship, plus for some reason he couldn't understand, she loved him.

The monitors steadily beeped, a strangely comforting sound, at least he knew she was still around and still alive. He held her hand, it no longer covered in blood. Between Simon and he, they had somewhat cleaned her off. She still had a few spots that without lifting her were impossible to get. Her red hair had been washed, a feat that Zoe had actually handled and Mal was taken off guard when she volunteered.

Strangely, one good thing came from this and it was an odd one. Everyone in his crew had pulled together to help Cat. They might have feared her a bit, but now she was human, now they knew she could be wounded. Maybe, if she would survive, he would be able to have the crew accept her enough to allow her a spot on it. Ifn she could get that beast under control....

“I'm sorry I didn't understand, Bao Bei, but you got to admit you are one very unusual woman.” He kissed her hand. “I haven't always been what you wanted me to be. You're right about Inara. I did have feelings for her, hell might still, but I don't think I could bear you leaving again. You see I got a ship so I could get your diamonds and without you to give them too, well, it pretty worthless.”

He smiled sadly. Maybe he said the next part because he knew she would need a miracle to pull through, but he said it and that's what mattered. “You never did answer that question, but I have another for you. Will you stay on my boat, on Serenity and make her your home, maybe even make me a committed man?”

“Don't think she has to help you in that endeavor.” 'Ski stood in the doorway and moved quietly to come to Cat's other side. “You all cleaned her up good.”

“We tried. Figured it would help her body heal if there was less mess.”

“You think she's going to make it.”

“I have to. Keeps me sane right now.” He looked back down and brushed a stray hair from her face.

“You're as gorran optimistic as she is.” 'Ski turned away and hit the wall with his fist. “Why can't she just die already? I hate this fucking waiting.”

“Nice friend you are. Great husband, too.”

'Ski leaned over Cat, his nose filled with her sweet scent as he stared at her lover. “We've been though shit that would have you wetting your pants. We've seen things that would have your crew screaming for mommy. We've risked everything to do that which we thought right and to see her like this...why am I wasting my breath? You have no idea what it's like to watch the only one that you'd give your life for and I mean the only one...dying and there is nothing I can do about it, but wait.”

“I know how you feel.”

“Well, that's just fuckin' great.” He threw up his hands as Mal looked at him. “Go back to your damn crew. They probably need them to lead them somewhere to kill some other thing they don't understand.”

“I've thrown off others with your mouth.” Mal stood up and the two were face to face.

“God, I would love you to try.” 'Ski yelled. Mal could see the hurt in 'Ski's eyes, deep set behind his anger, one's he'd seen during the war so many times with so many young men worried about their families. Even though, he might not like the man, what he meant to the woman he loved, Mal had to admit one thing, he felt strangely better having this man guarding over her. Besides, they were both a bit worried, plus if they killed each other Cat would never ever forgive the other. So instead, he walked out, but only before he spoke a final warning. “She's the reason you're not out on your ass right now, so when she wakes, you just might want to thank her.”

'Ski flipped Mal off as he walked away and then turned back to Cat. “That's exactly what I want to do. Thank her for leaving me alone on this gorran boat with a bunch of people, who could go screw themselves for all I care..Damn you, Babe. Should have turned you over when I had the chance, but, no, you had to go flashing those green eyes at me and what do I do....marry you. Well, guess what, Kitty Cat, you owe me...sex and lots of it.” He yelled at her, but for some reason, it was not as satisfying as when she was awake. She would have hit him for calling her a kitty and the slapped him again for the sex comment.

'Ski walked over and slammed his butt down hard in the black metal chair. He lit a cigarette and took a deep puff. Automatically, he went to hand it over to her, but stopped, sighing. “You hear me, Cat 1313. I don't fucking care what that shit had in it. You will live to torture me, remind me that I am still human...” A breath and another sigh”...or you'll die to haunt me...” His eyes were still as hard as they ever were, but the light above them both caught the glitter of a single tear, yet, it never did find a way down his cheek.

--------------------------------------------

*feedback is always always appreciated and makes me warm and fuzzy.. LOL