The Sachem: Chapter 13
Monday, March 24, 2008

Post BDM; M/I, S/K; Continued From New Haven: Caught up with the plot, Mal and the crew talk to Jayne. Who makes an important decision.


*This picks up up right after the first chapter.*

"You have go to be shitting me."

"Wu fo.... ni hui shuo na you." Mal glared up at Jayne. "It would be a kindness if you'd let us go and explain what the gorram hell is goin' on."

The sachem turned to Aveline. "Um, could you tell all them ta leave me 'n these fellas alone for a minute?" As soon as Aveline told the people to leave, and they did, he went over and cut Mal, Simon and Zoe free with a ceremonial bone knife.

Mal shucked the rope off and glared at Jayne. "You wanna tell us why the hell you're dressed like I need ta worship ya or somethin? And as to why cao hou-zi la-shi you didn't just run home after killin the mayor of Munchkin town?!"

Jayne tried to give a sheepish smile as he tore off his headdress. The ceremonial garb falling limply on his throne, eagles feathers and lion fur spilling over the edge of the seat. "So, ya know about that."

"I've been pondering over it." Simon chimed in with a dry tone. "Defender of women's rights, avenger of the weak and enslaved... who the hell are you and what have you done with the real Jayne Cobb?"

"I'd like ta know that also." Zoe stretched, as her body was sore from being tied up like game.

"That is a curiosity, considering you were willing to trade your gun for Saffron. What's up with the change of heart, O Great Sachem?" Mal folded his arms, somber gaze settling on Jayne. "Didja just wanna stir up trouble, so you took up a cause?"

"It just weren't right." He grunted in self defense. "Theys rape those girls, break 'um, hell you know I ain't all.... like chivalrous... ly... but I dun can't see that goin on and not feel nothin. My ma beat nuff respect inta me for that, Mal. I weren't gonna take the one I won and force her. Told them no, scuffle happened and next thing I know that elder was dead. And I weren't gonna stay 'round and be apart of a lynchin' bee."

"Oh, I see. So you had to flit off and become chieftan of the midget forest pagans?" The captain quirked a brow and waited.

"Really weren't my choice."

"Then who thought of the brilliant plan to put you and your limited acumen in charge of innocent lives?"

"I did."

The trio looked at the small blonde woman. Slightly smaller than River, making her tall for her culture, with blonde hair and green eyes. Stepping up she stood next to Jayne confidently, commandingly. No doubt she was in charge.

Mal's brows further knit together, creating a deep ridge above his nose as his mouth parted slightly. "And you would be?"

"Aveline of the Nez, Jayne's my doxy." She explained, getting stunned expressions from the entire lot. "They sold me to him as his wife, and when we escaped I took him here. Kidnapped him and used him."

"That's quite a spectacle." He gestured. "And I applaud you, because now I can forever tease Jayne for being kidnapped by a woman who weighs ninety pounds soaking. However ya gotta explain why you'd need ta use him."

"I was the chief's daughter, only men can rule so I took him as my doxy and he immediately became chief, and I rule through him."

"Huh." There was a pause, as he pondered it over. "Well that is... somthin' else. But I gotta take him back ta that town, fix things there, then haul him home. So you might wanna putta ad out for a new man concubine. Mancubine, I suppose."

"Take me back there?" Jayne soured. "Hell Mal they'll skin me."

"No they ain't." Zoe reassured him, not entirely pleased with the situation. "You're the town elder now."

"The wha?!"

"Yes, the town is considerably more bizarre than what you thought." Simon muttered. "You killed the elder, you now are the elder. Hero of Canton, Elder of Tehatchepi and Sachem of the Nez...." Sighing, his breathed the rest in a whisper "Na di zhi cao gao-ming." Alas he only had a hamster.

"You're also Jayne Cobb, lecherous mercenary, ranch hand and man that sends money to his ma. Which is why you need to come with us." Mal reminded.

Jayne seemed to reflect, a pastime he didn't do too often, about his very important titles in both communities. "But.... what if I stayed?"

"I think your brain's delusional from bein' lit and used more than the accustomed."

"No Mal, what if I stayed and helped both of 'um. The town and the tribe, be likea duel ruler of some sorts. Both need someone, someone who knows how ta rule, I could do it. Wouldn't be like I would need a place ta stay, won me sum land, some other stuff too. Could have a right comfy life and be a ruler at that"

"Aveline just said she's the one that's been ruling through you." Zoe pointed out. "That makes her the ruler material."

"But I could learn from her."

"Jayne, your sudden growth of a conscience is touching, really. However I fear it's tampered your grey matter so I'm going to enunciate. I. Need. You. To. Come. Home. Now. Because. We. Need. You. At. The. Ranch." Mal feigned concern. "Did ya get that? Did it sink in somewhere? Because we truly need ya right now. I gotta outpost cabin that needs it's guard."

The Sachem scoffed. "Just have the Doc stay out there, build's character."

"I'll shoot your dog if I have to go back out there."

"Another thing! All your stuff's back there. Wouldn't wanna leave all that weaponry behind." Mal enticed.

"Well, what if ya gotta replacement?" Jayne quizzed. "I mean, I came back for awhile, then I left and came back up here."

"You're serious?"

"Well yeah, like I said I got land, I got stuff, livestock, a title. Plus I could really help all these wimpy lil' forest folk. Free their women, kill the hundans who oppose, inter-ra-grate the Nez and townfolk so they work ta'gethur. Equality, more trade, start up a right nice whore house so's a man can git some pleasure from a constenin' respectable woman." He announced with great faith and certainty. "Think I could do big things Mal. Possibly gotta kill some folk first, but I think I could do it. Aveline'd steer me straight, be my second... plus there's the sex."

The trio stood there, amazed that all of this was coming out of the large merc. A man they had never thought anything above muscle for hire. There he was, standing with purpose in his eyes, which was strange and alien.

Mal shifted his weight from one foot to the next."You sure this is your path?"

"How can it not be, Mal, everythin's all set up like fate. I know I ain't a good man, ain't a hero or much ta look up to, jus means I'll haveta try harder."

He thought he'd never see the day, but he just did. Jayne had changed, grown. It was odd, weird, but touching and Mal couldn't help but be a tad proud. Looking sideways he couldn't help but notice that his second in command and doctor were a tad proud and had more respect for him too. "I suppose after the drive ta New Calgary we could find a new lummox, you could come back here and resume your rightful place as Elder/Sachem/Potentate/Whatever." Malcolm exhaled heavily. "I expect hospitality when we come up here though, reckon that's the least we should get. What with your appointment of these titles all because I made you come out her ta fetch chaps, wouldn't have happened without my order."

"Sounds good to me."

"Alrighty, now it's settled, we best go and set things straight now in town."


Jayne road into Tehatchepi first.

He was a might twitchy, on an edge that resembled a razor blade. Back in his own clothes, the tribal paint gone, he led Malcolm, Zoe, Simon, Aveline and four braves over to the dusty town square were the permanent gallows and baptism alters stood side by side in horrific contrast. He had Donner jump up to the platform of the gallows as Mal road over to the town's bell and rung it fiercely. The men and women came out, the males storming, the females cowering. Everyone clustered into the square as the horsemen worked their steeds outside of the group, as if they were herding the citizens of the backwards town. Keeping them together, in front of the new town elder, scouting the crowd for any weapons and trouble.

"It's him! The new elder!" One man whooped with joy, the others clapping and cheering as their leader's figure was rather iconic. Atop a massive black stallion, poised on a stage in front of nooses. Some however, were not in favor of Cobb as they kept grave faces and boiling eyes on the large elder. The giant of a man that was ready to lead their town.

Jayne's blue glaze that seemed more honorable than thieving scanned the cluster of people, the eagerness of some men, the disgust of others, and the fear of the women. He was overwhelmed with that he saw, and cleared his throat. "So um... heard I'm in charge now."

There was clapping as well as a few manly 'yeahs' in approval of the regime change.

"Ain't one fer much talk, but I gotta say a few things. First of all. As my first act of Elder, I'm gonna..." Forgetting the word, he looked to Simon who mouthed it to him, as he had practiced his speech on the way over. "Abolish the act of buying women and treatin' them like property."

A small group of men reached for their guns "Yi-shang wu bu-zai-li..."

Zoe's gun, the echo of the pin clicking into place made then stop their charge on the new elder. "It surely will be." She rode up to the them on Amos the Grey, looming over them like a threatening storm. The voice and spirit of every woman they ever harmed seemed to radiate through her dark eyes, and she took pleasure in their sudden subdued nature.

As the rest of the idiot misogynist flock began to turn on Jayne, Mal, Simon, Aveline and the braves drew their weapons. Zoe stepping Amos out of the crowd to join the firing circle as suddenly several dozen more Nez warriors came out of the forest and surrounded the townsfolk. Poised to quell an uprising. Aveline yelled something in Nez, and the women squeezed out of the crowd, behind the horses and to safety. Leaving the men, like a cluster of unruly bulls in a pen.

"Now this can go easy, or we can have a bit of a bloodletting. Your choice." Malcolm explained grimly. "Personally I don't think Elder Cobb would mind rulin' a town of nothing but women."

The man who sold the women as his business hand his hand on the tang of his pistol. "You wouldn't. You don't got the stones you chi mu-niu cao shan-gu..."


Mal's gun smoked, and the man running the brides for sale operation dropped to the ground as blood oozed out the space right between his eyes. "Surely do. And I don't like being insulted to boot."

"Anyone object, they best speak their peace right now!" Jayne hollered out. "Cause along with this, this here town is gonna live in peace with the Nez. They're gonna camp around the general area and trade and whatnot, cause I'm their ruler too."

Two more men pulled their guns on Jayne, but Zoe's bullet made one chest an awful mess, and Aveline's arrow flew true to a throat. Blood spraying as the arrow had sunk deep into the jugular. The more men that dropped, the more pacified the rest of the group seemed. Truth be told, only a few of the men were the radicals, the others were like livestock that had been inbred too many times. A little loopy, mostly dim-witted and willing to follow anyone who seemed to have a stronger personality. As said stronger personalities were being snuffed, the majority seemed more able to accept the new rules. That and they were intimidated by the new Elder.

"Ya'll are gonna work ta'gether. And you men are gonna treat your wives with respect. They ain't slaves or brood mares, they're people. People you gotta handle like people." He paused as Donner pawed the wood with a hollow scrape, and waited for a few men to lash out again. None did. A few seemed unpleased yet for the most part, now that the bad ones were pooling on the dirt, everyone else seemed to see reason. The women behind the horses were pleased too, because Aveline was acting translator. "Now um, I can't be here 'cause I gotta job down the hill. I'll be back though, mid spring, fer good. And until then, I'm namin' Aveline, my suc.... succ... the person who stands in for me." Gesturing to the blond on the spotted pony, suddenly the remaining hold outs exploded in protest towards a scandalous femal leader. Drawing their weapons. They were of the older generation, appearing to be a crowd that Elder Thurn would have been popular with. However in half a minute there was a sporadic chorus of gunfire. Jayne and his entire posse fired at them, with guns and bows, and the last band of the opposition was cut down before one could even pull a trigger. It left the younger generation, along with a handful of older men that had never liked Thurn's laws in the first place. A Jayne held his gun, he seemed to lock eyes with every man in that collection. "She's gonna lead both of ya, Nez and Tehatchepi." The news had gone over much smoother with the Nez, some of the men had grumbled but almost everyone had been open to it, as no one was stupid enough to believe that Jayne had been acting chief all by himself. "So yeah, that's all I gotta say."

Donner jumped down off of the gallows and walked straight through the crowd before standing next to Aveline's leopard pony, a dwarf next to his giant draft frame.

Jayne peered into the crowd of men as they began to scatter and the newly freed wives gathered around him. Speaking in the foreign language, touching him and Donner, as if he were a saint that possessed sacred power. "Did we kill that old livery coot? I think he's got my stuff."


Wu fo.... ni hui shuo na you: My Buddha, you can say that again.

cao hou-zi la-shi: f***ing monkey shit

lynchin' bee: Cowboy slang- a hanging

Na di zhi cao gao-ming: That's just f***ing brilliant

Yi-shang wu bu-zai-li...: Over my dead...

Chi mu-niu cao shan-gu...: imbecile cow humping valley....


**As always, the writer appreciates all comments whether they be positive, negative, or suggestions.**



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