The Sachem: Chapter 9
Sunday, February 24, 2008

Post BDM; M/I, S/K; Continued From New Haven: Stepping backwards into the past, we view what went on before Mal, Zoe and Simon were captured. In this chapter, Jayne finds his 'wife' not entirely open to thanking him for the heroics. And Simon gets a visit from Kaylee.


Jayne, had no idea where he was going.

Donner was running through the dark of the night till his black fur was slick with sweat. Finally the horse was allowed to rest as Jayne pulled the reins back and listened for an angry mob.

There was none.

Jayne panted, looking back around as he felt he had to be mad to think there wasn't someone after them. He had just killed the town elder, a posse had to be coming to capture and stretch him or burn him at the stake in the middle of town. That's the way all crazy towns were, hell they had nearly barbecued the Tam siblings in such a fashion on accounta River being claimed a a witch. His mind filled with horror stories of crazy backwater townships and their ways of dealing with those that had broken their law. Thoughts of being hung, dismembered whilst still breathing, tossed in a lake with a ball and chain on his ankle, torched alive and eaten made his eyes widen and his heart race. It really wasn't the way he wanted to go. He'd rather die in a blaze of glory or old and with a smile on his face next to a strumpet then tortured.

He didn't have time to fully panic or do something though, for his 'wife', the woman he had won and was the cause of all of his woes, acted out. She was sitting behind him, with her wrists still bound and her fingers grasping his belt lest she fly off of the giant horse that had been galloping. Unbeknownst to Cobb, she squirmed in her spot atop his saddle bags, rising up to her knees. She was a small thing, no bigger than River, which was why she needed the added height to violently head butt her new 'husband' in the back of the head. Instantly, the mammoth man crumpled, leaning sideways and falling out of his saddle and to the ground with a heavy thud.

Donner grunted, snorting and treading in place in anxiety.

The woman, her hair golden silk in the faint moonlight that trickled through the boughs, jumped off of the back of the horse and went to stand in front of the beast. She looked like a child in front of Donner, who loomed over her like a titan, his skillet sized hooves threatening to stomp her into the ground like a railroad spike. However she grabbed his rains and spoke soothingly in a language few understood, sliding her palms up the length of the reins to scratch his velveteen nose.

Donner, as great as a horse as he was, was a softy when it came to being scratched, and twisted his neck so she scratched his chin. Suddenly he was quite the passive oaf, regardless his friend and owner was prostate on the ground, drooling unconsciously.

The woman patted the black Jack Draft once more before leaving him and crouching next to the Kodiak of a man. Using her arms, she slid them under the massive frame and flipped him over.

Jayne's fuzzy blue eyes opened to see a black outline against the spotted moonlight. "Fuzzy...... wuzzy..... little bunnies.... I...."

She cuffed him with her fists balled up together, and once more did the mighty Jayne Cobb flake out. Using the time, she patted him down until finding a spare knife in his boot. Taking it, she cut her binds and freed herself. Sliding the knife under her belt, she searched Jayne once more, rushed but albeit impressed with his size and mass. She took his semi automatic in the drop holster as well as a small six shot pistol from his other boot before raising up and going to the horse. Climbing up on Donner, she took the reins and walked him out and way from Jayne.


Jayne woke up with a splitting headache.

"Gorram...." He groaned, raising a hand and rubbing the side of his head. Finding himself in the dirt, in the pink tinted wee hours of the morning, and puzzled about that, he sat up and looked 'round. It took him a moment to put everything in focus, what had happened the night before. However he remembered the fight, and running off with that little lady, and stopping Donner, and.... "Son uva bitch."

Jayne stumbled to his feet, realizing his rescuee had taken him out and left him. Standing up, he patted himself down and realized his other knife and pistols were gone. Letting out a few choice words under his breath that were so compressed together they didn't make any sense, he worked at getting his surroundings. He was a tracker after all as he tilted his head to the sky and peered through the trees to find the sun. Getting his position, he then searched the ground.

And found Donner's massive tracks.

With that as a lead, Jayne Cobb raced in the direction of his horse.


Simon had missed Kaylee so very much.

He wasn't found of the outpost cabin at all. Particularly his bedfellow that he hated but would possibly eat him if he banished her from the mattress. Heidi the giant dog was there to stay, and he could do nothing about it as he was so close to the edge of the bed he threatened to roll off. The dog spread eagle on the rest of the sheets. If it was Jayne she would have slept curled up at the foot, but this cowboy was easily taken advantage off, and she was a headstrong dog. So she stole most of the room. And that morning, as always the dog woke first, yawned, then rolled over to face Simon Tam. Without any warning, the canine slobbered his ear with a good morning lick, a glop of spittle settling in his ear.

Simon, who had never gotten used to such an atrocious wake up call, shot up, fell out of the bed and cradled his ear. Looking up at the dog, that gazed down at him, he glowered at the beast. "Bu-hao nang de cui." He made a face whilst wiping his ear clean and wishing he could be freed from doggy hell.

Heidi growled at him. She knew the tone of an insult.

Getting up, Simon went to the sink and washed his ear with a washcloth and some soap, though he wished he had some disinfectant on hand. His mind lamented the question of why couldn't he swap out Satan's hound for Churchill. Simon really wasn't much of a dog person, he had grown up with cats, Sihnon Siamese to be exact, his mother's precious furballs. So he liked cats, however, Churchill was more or less his dog, because they were always paired up. Thus Churchill had become very well trained as Simon had taught him some commands during his lunch breaks out on the pasture.

But no, he was stuck with Satan's dog.

Scowling once more, Simon began his day. He couldn't make the bed immediately, as Heidi was still there and would take his arm off if he tried to move her. So he made breakfast, which was toast, coffee and fake eggs from a can, and got dressed quickly. When breakfast was done, Heidi jumped off the bed. So, he gave her a bowl of fake eggs, set his breakfast on the table and quickly made the bed.

The dog inhaled her food. Then walked over and set her enormous head on said table top. The food was just out of reach, so, she grumbled and slobbered.

"Get away!" He grabbed his bowl and stood up, for eating seated meant the mongrel's head would be in his lap. After the dog bared it's teeth at him, clearly showing no respect, she left out of the doggy door to start her patrol. Leaving Simon warily standing and eating his dry toast and fake eggs that had the texture of rubber and the flavor of cheap tofu.

There was a humming sound.

Knowing it was the mule, because only decrepit hover vehicles made that sound, Simon immediately hoped for the best and set his horrible breakfast down and went outside.

Churchill, yelped and jumped out of the mule as Kaylee parked it.

Heidi, being a guard dog and seeing the merle blue cow dog as the enemy, charged the pup with a roar.

Chruchill bolted and leapt into Simon's arm's wide eyed at the most unpleasant welcome he had just received. Though he was cumbersome, a gangly mass in the doctor's arms, he huddled in.

"Uh oh." Kaylee got out and rushed over as Jayne's pet was barking at Churchill, and Churchill was cowering in Simon's arms. "Hey, hey, stop!"

Heidi stopped.

"Go." She pointed away, her voice firm and commanding.

The dog dropped her furry head and left, leaving Simon and his pet equally stunned.

"How... how...." He started, letting the pup go.

Kaylee wrapped him up and pecked his lips. "Ya just gotta show 'um who's alpha."

Simon never even heard what she said, because he was immediately consumed by her. He held her close and kissed her ravishingly, as he had found the outpost cabin to be horribly lonely and not good on his libido. So, within seconds of her response they were throat deep in one another, groping, moaning, and instantly ready at the prospect of a triste.

The mechanic eventually pulled back because her brain told her she needed oxygen. As she took in some air, she let out a throaty chuckle. "Ya miss me?"

"Me? Nooo." He whispered sarcastically, picking her up and toting her inside.


After an hour or so of running, Jayne found Donner.

The horse was tied to a tree branch and was wading in a stream, eating the fresh green shoots on the back. Looking up, Donner saw Jayne and nickered an equine hello.

Jayne put his finger to his lips, as if his horse would know such a hand signal. Creeping over, his eyes were peeled to make sure that crazy ass pagan lady wasn't lurking in the bushes to whap him over the head again.

He forgot to look up. Because in reality, she was on a low branch of the oak tree he was under, with a homemade noose. Granted, she owed it to him for not deflowering her and killing the town elder, still he was a man. And she wasn't too fond of that particular gender when they weren't from her tribe. Finally, he wandered right underneath her. And she lowered the noose.

The merc, was by all means a roughneck, yet he wasn't stupid enough to not realize that there was a noose trying to slide down his neck and stretch him. Stopping, he pretended to scratch his head. Yet right before he put his hand back down he reached up and seized the rope, yanking her down.

The woman landed atop him and clubbed him with a fist to his scalp.

"Dammit woman!" He grabbed her and flung her to the ground. Yet suddenly she tripped him and he hit the ground too. Within seconds she was on top of him, and not in the way he pleasured, trying to strangle him with her hand while pulling out the knife. Jayne grabbed the knife and twisted it out of her hand, hitting her with the butt end of it. He was surprised when it only dazed her, since she was a petite thing and all, yet he knew River could be smacked pretty hard and it was just like a love tap.

This woman had some stones.

As they struggled, he managed to get one gun free and toss it in the stream, then take the other and point it at her throat. "STOP!"

She kicked him swiftly in the crotch.

Jayne rolled over, grasping his family jewels and making high pitched squeaks as he curled up in near fetal position. "Niang de tian-tang ji-qi.."

The gun was racked and muzzled his temple.

Looking up at her, the peridot eyes glaring at him, the face taunt, he let out the breath he had been holding do to the pain he was in. "What the hell is your problem?" Jayne grunted, trying not to sound too wounded as his hands cupped his groin. "I saved you! I didn't treat ya ill! Hell I killed fer ya! But ya got the brass 'uns ta desert me, steal my horse and then snuff me out?! I ain't a man that adheres ta alota rules but gorramit that ain't kosher!"

Her expression slackened, shoulders heaving as she tossed the gun to the side. "Sorry."


"Sorry." Kaylee breathed as she rested her head on Simon's chest, naked and at peace after finally scratching that itch.

Simon, good and sweaty, let out a deep breath. "Why?"

"Cause you've been here all alone. Poor baby." She cooed, stroking his face with the backs of her fingers. "No one ta give ya attention."

"I'm so deprived." He mock whimpered.

Kaylee laughed and smacked his chest.

"But it's true!" He exclaimed, pausing for a moment to realize there may be a reason for her being their beyond having sex. "Um... did you come here for anything else? Like... am I needed somewhere?"


"What did you say?" Jayne was flabbergasted, because none of the other womenfolk spoke. As he sat on the ground, his crotch aching plenty and himself mussed up from the tussle, he gawked at her.

"I'm sorry?" She answered again.

"You can speak.... English?"


Jayne switched to frustration. "Well then why the hell didn't ya speak up! Can they all talk or is it jus you?!"

"I'm the only one that knows English." She crossed her arms to her chest defensively, glaring down at him. "And..."

"STILL, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YA SPEAK UP?!" Cutting her off, his face was red with frustration. Here he had originally thought she was some helpless native girl. No, she had nearly killed him, hurt his most special area and spoke perfect english. "God's balls we coulda talked this out ya fa-kuang lu-zi..."

"They beat our women for just talking OUR language!" She snapped. "I was afraid of what they'd do to me if I spoke English!"

"I weren't gonna beat ya none. That aint' right." Standing up, he towered over her. There was an awkward silence, as both were apparently as equally as recalcitrant and stubborn. Jayne, spoke first after a massive sigh. "What's yer name?"


"I'm Jayne." he didn't extend his hand, for in the back of his mind he imagined her twisting it and making him fall to his knees.

"Isn't that a girls name?"

"No." He growled out, defending the name Ma Cobb had given him. "There's Y in the spellin', makes it manly."

*** *** ***


Strumpet: Prostitute

Bu-hao nang de cui: No good sack of spit

Niang de tian-tang ji-qi...: Mother of heaven and...

fa-kuang lu-zi...: Crazy ass...


Sunday, February 24, 2008 12:05 PM


I just wanted to further comment on something one of you guys said regarding 'baby fic' in the last chapter. This, will not be a babyfic. Without spoiling the plot, Kaylee, Zoe and River are in no danger of suddenly getting baby fever because of Meilin and demanding someone father them a child.

I've done baby fic before, it's fun and it's fluffy and it's good for when you're PMSing (lol), but this series isn't going to be like that. Meilin's here for a purpose, she's gonna drive some plots.

Just thought that would help some skeptics :D

Monday, February 25, 2008 12:20 AM


i believe you!:) glad i caught this chapter.

Thursday, March 13, 2008 3:43 AM


Simon having to put up with the dog is hilarious.


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