NEVER THOUGHT IT’D BE LIKE THIS

Jayne always thought he'd go down fighting. One on one. Mano a mano. Facing off against someone with more ammo than him or a quicker knife than him. Bullets hitting his body like raindrops in the mud on Higgin's Moon. And after falling in with the Browncoats on Serenity, he thought there might be explosions to rock the ground his boots were planted on, get torn up by the spray of debris and shrapnel. Sent out with a blaze of glory.

He'd always thought his last view of the 'verse would be some back alley, staring down the wrong end of a gun at a big, ugly motherfucker with a big black mustache and horrible teeth to match. Or maybe if he was lucky and lived long enough, it'd be a sleazy bar at the corner of no and where, on the wrong end of some hard eyed kid's razor smile.

But how ever he thought he'd snuff it, he never thought it'd be like this.

Never thought he’d be down against a crate, his shoulder blown open with just two mags and his swingin’ cod between him and a room full of Reavers. Zoë's back ripped up and Kaylee all paralyzed. And there was Inara and the doc and the little crazy girl to think of too. Much as he thought they were a waste of space, none of ‘em deserved to die like this either.

He never thought the last he’d see of the ‘verse would be the doc standing up like the gorramn fool he was and getting himself shot down. That the doors would be closing over the little crazy girl’s hands before he could even haul his ass over and give her some cover fire. That he’d be the one watching, waiting, his life hanging on the line while someone else was doing all the dying for him.

He’d imagined his death a thousand million ways but he never thought it’d be like this.