Let's git ready for a hiest! (And as always, million thanks for feedback) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

River, screamed.

Simon scrambled in from the infirmary, finding her on her bed, hands over her ears as she cried in horror while the tears streamed down her face. He gathered her trembling body in his arms and held her tight. The past few days had been the kind where he treaded softly, as he had managed to piss off Malcolm, and Kaylee all in the same day. How he dealt with the captain was mainly just avoiding him and doing his job, however, with Kaylee he just tried to talk to her and be a gentleman around her. Simon had washed the dishes with her one night, had been striking up a bit of chatter, and had been apologizing just about every time they were alone and he had a chance to. The tactic had been working so far, with Kaylee as she seemed a bit more responsive at breakfast that morning, with Mal however they were down to cold silences and angry looks. At the moment though none of that mattered as he tried to soothe his sister.

“It’s ok, it’s ok xaio mei-mei.” He whispered in her ear, rocking his body as she molded onto him like a frightened child. “River… shhh….”

“We’re here…. We’re there!” She buried herself into his chest, like she was hiding from something. “It’s so green… but it’s so white… too clean… too smooth… take it out and put things back in… doesn’t belong! MAKE IT STOP!”

“River I have you.” He stroked her back. “You’re ok, you’re safe…”

“Not the chair!... You can’t put that in there! It’s not supposed to fit!” She shook, her face buried into his neck when she let out a terrified scream. “SIIIIIIMOOON!” Clawing at his shirt, holding on tight. “SIMON SAVE ME!”

Simon held her tight, tears glossing his eyes, mortified at how scared she was. “I’ve got you! You’re ok! You’re ok…” He gingerly lifted her up and guided her out of the room and to the infirmary.

As soon as she saw the room, she recoiled. “NO!”

“River, I just want to give you something…”

“YOU CAN’T STICK NEEDLES IN ME!”

Kaylee jogged over with concern written all over her face underneath the usual grease smudges. “What’s wrong? I can hear her all the way 'n the engine room.”

“I don’t know.” Simon sighed as he patted his sister’s back, her arms around his neck, her feet planted on the floor and refraining him from going into the infirmary. “I need to get her a smoother but I..”

The mechanic stepped in and gingerly pried the hysterical River off of him, who, immediately latched onto her. Allowing Simon to retrieve the sedative. “It’s ok Sweetie.” Kaylee gave her a tight hug. “We’re here, an’ you’re safe on Serenity.”

River screamed into Kaylee’s coveralls. It was muffled, but still loud as she clung to her friend. The ship itself jerked a bit as Simon came back over. Little sister peeking out from the dirty fabric, eyeing the injection gun as it came close, like a small child not wanting a flu shot. Whatever she said next, was incoherent as her mouth was still against the coveralls.

“It’s ok mei-mei.” Simon took her arm and swabbed it, watching as River gripped Kaylee and whined into the coveralls as he gave her the smoother. “All done.” He kissed her hair before going to put everything back. Upon returning, there was another shake from the ship as he went over and watched his sister’s hawk-like grip loosen from Kaylee. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She gave a smile. “Jus’ feel bad for her, feelin’ like this.” Carefully she pulled the drugged teenage girl away and handed her over to the big brother, who actually had to gather her up in his arms as she was out of it.

And just like that, River had brought them back together.

Simon smiled awkwardly, hopefully. “She really likes you. She doesn’t just cling to anyone.”

“Hope she’s not the only one in the family still likin’ me.” She hinted a bit.

He looked pensively at her, blushing. “How many times have I apologized for pushing you off of the couch?”

She pondered it. “I’d say ‘bout a hundred.” Kaylee gave him a teasing glance as the ice had finally broken.

“Still angry?”

Kaylee opened her mouth.

There was a large rattle throughout Serenity.

“KAYLEE!” Mal bellowed. “Where the ruttin’ hell are you and what the hell is goin’ on with my gorram ship?!”

“That’s me.” She whined, reluctantly leaving him “See you when we land.”

“Shen-me wei wo na ni wei?” Simon could hear Malcolm asking the mechanic.

The doctor sighed and carried his sibling back to her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ta ma dae…” Wash growled as he eased the ship into the atmosphere of the green planet. They had had some problems with the stablizers while in space, however a new obstacle had just presented itself as Serenity hit turbulence as it rattled a bit to the pressure of transition from space to actual oxygenized sky. The buffer panels that protected everything from heating up glowed red as the sound of the jets suddenly roared as they were silent in the vastness of space. Reaching over her grabbed his com to project his voice all over the ship. “Could the captain of this ship please come on the bridge? We may have a problem.” Turning it off he gripped his steering and tried to make it as smooth as possible.

“You gonna kill us?” Mal asked as he was already dressed and ready for the job in his brown duster.

“Why thank you for the assumption.” He snarked as Zoe and Ru came in just in time for them to hit some turbulence powerful enough for his toy triceratops to go flying off of the console and bounce around on the floor. “But it’s not me, it’s these gorram coordinates you gave me. Where did you get these? And can someone pick up Steve? He doesn’t like being on the ground.”

Zoe rolled her eyes towards her husband and picked up the plastic dinosaur, placing it next to the tyrannosaurus.

“Thanks baby. You can play with my dinos anytime.”

“Only cause I love you.” She quipped back. “And that’s not necessary.”

“Procured them offa Badger.” The captain said simply. “Why?”

“Well they looked funny to me so I ran some checks off of the cortex and guess what I found? There is no open space for me to hover for the heist.” He gestured quickly to the windshield as the planet was getting closer and closer. Going back to holding the steering tight as it wanted to jerk in his hands.

“What do you mean?!” His voice hit a peculiar pitch.

“I mean this planet is 50% water and 40% trees. Also, this town we’re supposed to be robbing is under the tree canopy.” He huffed.

“Can we at least land?” Zoe asked.

“There’s a spot, some open ground, but it’s a mile out and I’m picking up no roads and ground that’s not suited for things with wheels.” He told everyone. “So you’ll have to walk.”

Mal dragged his hand over his face and began to pace. “Dao dai zhou hou... I’m gonna knock the accent outta Badger…” He mumbled into his palm about the lemon coordinates that had cost him three hundred credits. “So how are we gonna do this?”

“Steal some hovercrafts.” Ru offered, they all looked at her. “If the ground’s not drivable they’re either using horses or hovercrafts. We steal two, use them to load the goods up and zip back over here.”

“Sounds iffy, but I’d like to think we shine on those iffy moments.” He looked his friend over and furrowed his brows as she was in her usual boots and trousers, but had a short sleeve hunter green tee on and a worn navy bandana on her head. Duel belts crossed on her hips with her guns hanging off of them along with her knife. Finally his hands saw her fingerless gloves and the shotgun slung on her back. “You goin’ for the pirate look?”

“It’s a hundred degrees on that rock with humidity that’ll melt a candle faster than you can wipe the sweat from your brow.” She explained. “I’m gonna try to stay cool.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

River was taking a welcomed drugged nap.

So Simon was seizing the opportunity and was stretched out on a couch in the common area, trying to get some shuteye himself as all of his relationship added stress had led to fitful sleeping patterns. Shutting his eyes he relaxed and got ready to go to sleep as the robbers of the ship went out gallivanting, plundering or whatever the hell they did. All that mattered was he had some down time before someone came in howling because they had been shot and needed his expertise.

“You know, it’s not polite to hog up the couch.”

He felt a fingertip gently poke him on the tip of his nose and his eyes fluttered open to see Kaylee’s grease stained face smiling down at him. “I’m sorry.” He smiled, sitting up he stretched and allowed her to flop down next to him. Looking at her, her adorable disposition that was finally back, a ghost of a smile came on his lips. “You look like you’ve been… busy.” Sounding nervous, and rightfully so as he hoped he wouldn’t say anything stupid.

“Yeah, well… when things are broke someone’s gotta fix it.” She explained with her trademark smile, giggling a bit as she had left a grease print on his sharp nose.

“Um?”

“You got some grease on you nose.” Kaylee chuckled. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” He wiped it off.

Kaylee blushed and wiped her face off with her sleeve.

“I like the engine grease.” Simon told her with an awkward chuckle. “It’s very endearing.”

“You don’t want me all gussied up fer ya?”

“I lived on a core planet where every woman was dressed up, I like you as you.” The air between them was tense as they were still not quite over the couch fiasco, however Simon decided he could attempt to describe her without saying something horribly offensive. “The dirt under the fingernails, the engine grease, the coveralls with the teddy bear patch. It’s Kaylee.”

Kaylee smiled warmly, and looked down at her hands. “Um, in the kitchen…”

His face dissolved into guilt. “I’m so sorry…”

“I know, I know, but I just don’t get why you haveta be all stiff.” She sighed. “I mean, we didn’t do nothin’… we were just sleepin’ and all of a sudden you panic cause everyone’s there. It’s not like they caught us nekkid or anything like that.”

“I’ll try to work on relaxing. I mean I have River to worry about, and now Mal’s not really friendly with me, and I just feel like…” He stopped, and realized he was getting off topic. “I’ll work on that.” Pursing his lips, he swallowed and thought of something else to say. “Um… you know, when we get back to Haven to deliver the goods… maybe you and I… maybe we can go and do something? Like lunch…? Or… I dunno..”

Kaylee giggled. “Simon Tam, are you askin’ me out?” Leaning in before he could stutter out an answer that might ruin the moment, she gave him a kiss that was supposed to be short, but soon was long and quickly getting heated. She pulled back, watching him catching his ragged breath as her fingers were pushed into his hair. Leaning in she continued making out with Simon, and feeling his hands tangled in her locks told her he was all for screwing being proper and seizing the alone time.

Wash came in, laughing and killing their small moment before it even got anywhere. He was actually laughing so hard though that he completely missed the fact that they looked like they were caught committing a crime.

“What’s so funny?” Kaylee huffed with a frown as people had the worst timing as she brushed her hair out to make it look less tousled from the doctor’s fingers. Glancing over at Simon who was still dazed over from the bit of tongue she had given him. His hair was sticking out, so she quickly smoothed it out so Wash wouldn’t catch wind of their moment. Seeing his mouth wide open, Kaylee touched his chin and shut it.

Simon blinked. “Kaylee?” With his soft voice he sounded disoriented, like he had gotten lost in the woods.

She motioned with her eyes to Wash.

He cleared his throat and sat up straight, trying to compose himself.

“Zoe…” He gasped as tears ran down his cheeks, face flush with color as he held his side as if it was about to burst. “Zoe’s hair… the humidity…” gesturing with his hands to his head to make an exploding motion. “She looks like a ball of sweater lint…. I… I think the appropriate word is ‘fro’.”

Kaylee rolled her eyes. “You laughed at her face?”

“Gawd no.” He wiped his eyes and tried to compose himself. “She could kill me with her pinkie.” With a box of crackers from the pantry in his hand he plopped into an armchair and giggled a bit. “She borrowed one of Ru’s bandanas though so she don’t look so scary.” Sniffling as he bit into one his laughter disapated to giggles as he chewed thoughtfully. “What’s on this island?”

Simon and Kaylee furrowed their brows.

“I mean there was all of this chatter about this place and all of the critters being dangerous. So what’s here anyhow?”

“Tigers, lions, panthers, leopards.” The doctor recited as he had learned it in school. “Gorillas, chimps, orangutans, various species of monkeys and lemurs… elephants, rhinosauri, crocodiles… just about anything that could really eat a human or gore one to death.” He said casually. “Actually there is a smaller continent to the east that holds some dinosaurs.”

Wash’s eyes widened. “Get out. So there’s bigger ones than the ones on my dashboard?”

“There are, a few years back they finally got the technology to clone from some specimens saved from the earth that was. Hatched themselves some dinosaurs and they keep them on the continent so they won’t eat all of the mammals.”

“We should go there!” The pilot said with glee. “I could take all of my plastic ones and show the real ones my mini dinos… I should take a picture with a real triceratops while holding up Steve…”

“Who do you think has the best chance of being eaten by somethin?” Kaylee piped out of the blue, the men giving her an incredulous look. “What?” She made a face at them and shrugged their shoulders. “Just askin a question. They’ll probably run into some big critter and someone’s gonna get hurt.”

The men thought it over.

“I think Jayne…” Wash pursed his lips. “Or Mal… the girls are too smart.”

“I vote for Jayne too.” Simon added. “Not that I wish on anyone to be injured in this… job… but I’ve never sewn someone up who’s had something try to eat them… which would be rather interesting.. that and his voice gets particularly high when I sew him up.”

They all chuckled.

Inara wafted in as she was lonely and decided to seek out the people who had stayed. “What’s so funny?” She smiled.

“Simon wants Jayne to get bit.” Kaylee piped.

“I do not!” He gaped, backtracking quickly. “I… I… I mearly said that…”

“Oh come on.” Wash laughed. “We all want Jayne to get bit, don’t be ashamed. Solidarity!”

Inara laughed in amusement. “Well if no one gets bitten it’s certain they’ll all come back drenched in sweat. Temperature scans said it’s a hundred degrees out there, but with the humidity it’s more like a hundred and twenty.”

“Hence my wife’s poofy hair.” The strawberry blonde pilot chortled.

“Hey ‘Nara?” The mechanic began.

“Yes Kaylee?”

“Why don’t you like Ru?”

The companion froze.

Kaylee put on a sad face. “She’s been keepin’ to herself, trying not to step your toes cause you’ve been lookin at her like… well…”

“Like she’s competition for your business or something.” Wash blurted, suddenly feeling bad for saying it his face flushed red. “I mean… not that she is or anything… you’re just.. well you haven’t been nice.”

The youngest in engine grease added “You just talk to her she’s really nice, when I showed 'er to her room I spent a few hours in their helping her get her room set up. Told me all kinds of stuff, we talked about ships cause she flew in the war, even broke out her stasha cookies while we had our ‘girl talk’.”

Inara’s face went blank. Girl talks were between her and Kaylee, now this new woman had not only gotten naked with Mal but was imposing on her relationship with Kaylee too? What was she going to do next? Brush Kaylee’s hair and give her tips on how to lure Simon?

“She is nice.” Simon agreed. “I guess when she’s not talking with you she’s in the infirmary talking with me. She’s quite the historian, knows a lot about the earth that was. Apparently on her down time as a bounty hunter she read a lot.”

“She comes on the bridge too.” Wash added. “Talks about ships with me. She’s like Zoe, just with a geeky side… hey did you know she flew an Ares B-84 fighter? Apparently during Serenity Valley she crashed it into the ground and ejected her seat, took out her gun and went to fight the ground war, that’s how she lost her arm. Alliance goon fired at her and…”

The companion hearing all of this was not please as she felt like the competition was closing in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mal was soaking in his own sweat.

“Ok.” He panted, his sleeves rolled up as he had ditched his coat to keep cool as they where hiding ins some shrubbery near the bank. This world, was stiflingly hot, and the hot of the worst kind. It was kind of heat that grew gorgeous tropical flora and fauna, yet made the air thick with humidity. So thick it felt like it was soaking his lungs as his hair was plastered to his head from all of the moisture in the air as well as the sweat of his head. “Remind me never to get a job on this gorram planet again.”

"I won't let you get a job on this gorram planet again, Sir." Zoe huffed as her frizzy hair was contained by the bandana she wore. She, along with everyone else, felt miserable. And hopefully no one would cross her on the heist, because feeling miserable was making her feel a bit more testy then usual.

“Somin’ bit me.” Jayne growled as he clutched his bleeding arm. "Ruttin planet."

“Let’s just get this over with.” Ru growled as she was just as sweaty and uncomfortable as everyone else. “With my luck this’ll rust my arm.”

“I see four hovercrafts parked.” Mal croaked as his throat felt saturated with hot, sticky air. “Stealin those will be easy.” He looked over at his team. “We go in, find the box, get the key, then load up on two of those crafts and go to the coordinates. Get the goods, fly outta here before the law knows what went down. Dong ma?”

They all nodded their heads. “Then enjoy a cold bath and air conditionin.” Jayne exhaled as his entire shirt was drenched in sweat, glancing over to Ru he smirked. “Care for a bath after this…”

“I can shoot you. And I won’t think twice.” She said simply. “Shiny?”

“Hao-hao.” he grumbled.

“Let’s quit chirpin and get to work.” The head of the crew ordered.

*****

*****

***** TRANSLATIONS

*xaio mei-mei: Little sister

*Ta ma de: Dammit

*Dao dai zhou hou: Theiving hat wearing monkey

*Shen-me wei wo na ni wei: What do I pay you for

*Dong-ma: understand

*Hao-hao: Fine