BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - DRAMA

LEIASKY

Where I Belong: Part II of 6
Friday, May 18, 2007

The war hits home a bit more closely for Kaykee after a rather one sided arguement with Simon. S/K


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2984    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Author's Notes: Thanks to those who read and commented. Glad you're liking the story so far.

There are actually 6 parts to this. When I wrote the last part, I forgot that I felt it was too long and split it up.

Thanks to Mal4Prez for the beta.

------------- Where I Belong -------------

Part II

Simon flattened a hand to his chest in an attempt to calm his racing heart. His head lolled to one side and he panted heavily, waiting for his body to stop trembling, for that post-coital tingling in his limbs to fade.

Kaylee lay sprawled atop him and he could feel the sharp thud of her heart beat against his abdomen, the small puffs of air escaping her parted lips doing absolutely nothing to cool his over-heated skin. She was nothing if not exhausting, beautiful and painfully arousing wrapped into one hell of an energetic package.

He’d let Kaylee take the lead, small payment for his inexcusable behavior the night before. And she’d led the way to the most exciting, pleasurable morning, of his life. But, as his mind began to regain some of its normal functionality, he realized with a sharp pant that it had done nothing to assuage the guilt he felt over how they’d come together – finally, after so many months of tiptoeing carefully around her unhidden interest. He didn’t know how to tell her how much he regretted that this happened now, the way it had. He’d wanted to make love to her for the first time in a real bed, when he was free to give her his whole heart, not one rife with worry over his broken and mentally traumatized sister. And in one weak moment, he’d –

“Simon?”

He blinked quickly and glanced down into Kaylee’s bright eyes and smiling face, struck speechless by the sultry look she leveled at him.

“Kaylee – I –“

She crossed her hands atop his on his chest and waited, clearly unfazed by his stuttering. “Don’t think you got ‘nuff sleep. Still got them big, dark circles under your –“

Simon couldn’t listen. Not right now. He couldn’t make small talk. Shame colored his cheeks and he knew that she would simply think it an effect of their vigorous coupling. His chest constricted and he felt the walls of the already small room closing in around him. As gently as he could, he moved her to the side and slid out of bed, very conscious of the fact that her eyes followed every movement of his pale skin until he covered it with his haphazardly discarded clothing.

“Simon?”

He could hear the question in her voice as he shrugged into his shirt and, with trembling fingers, tried to button it as quickly as his stiff fingers would allow.

“What is it?”

Simon swallowed nervously. He could hear the hurt and confusion creep into her voice but his overly brilliant mind couldn’t think of anything to say. When finally glanced over at the bed, he was struck by the innocent beauty lying there exposed to him, and cursed his inability to explain his very complicated feelings and priorities to this woman.

“I – can’t,” he began lamely. He shook his head and waved his hand at the bed, which, in hindsight, probably looked like a cold dismissal to Kaylee.

He could see Kaylee’s eyes narrow and her lips draw together into a thin line. He took an involuntary step back when she pushed herself out of bed and advanced, in all her naked glory, toward him.

When her eyes skimmed down his body and back up to his face, he trembled, unable to process quickly enough, the change that had come over her in such a short span of time.

“Could just fine a few minutes ago.”

Her eyes blazed with a fire that he never wanted to see again, but knew, deep down, he didn’t have the strength to quench. Not right now. He didn’t have the answers. He only had more questions. He needed time to think. It was stifling in this small room, and the heat radiating off her body made it even harder for him to breathe.

He put a hand up to stop her advance but she only slapped it away.

“This all you wanted from me, Simon?” The tone was full of anger, and hurt, and Simon swallowed the thick lump in his throat. He watched her mouth twist as she glanced down at her body and then back up his. “Just wanted a quick tumble. Help you relax.” He could see her hands clench into fists, see her eyes well with tears. “Been so tirin’ and stressful the last few days.” Her gaze burned as her eyes swept down his body again. “Good thing I was here to help with that, huh?”

Simon shook his head. No. No. No. It couldn’t go this way. He opened his mouth to speak, to refute her statements, to explain. But the moment she’d given him passed so quickly, he barely recognized it before it spiraled out of his control. He could only stand there and listen to the truthful tirade as it spilled from her lips. But even then, he didn’t hear what she said, not really, he was too busy frantically trying to think of a way to fix this.

“Damn the consequences and my feelin’s, huh?”

When it ended and she stepped back, he shook his head. “Kaylee – no. I don’t –“ He reached for her, but she backed up until she reached the bed. His chest constricted when she glanced down at it with disgust.

“Get out.”

Simon shook his head. “No. Kaylee. Please.” He clenched his jaw, damning his inability to speak in something other than one word answers.

“Out!”

He watched helplessly as she turned away and slipped one unsteady leg into her coveralls and then another. Trembling arms followed, before she zipped the garment up to her neck and turned, her mouth open to no doubt spout more well-deserved vitriolic words.

But he was spared that uncomfortable moment by the all too familiar whining sound of a missile and the following explosion that rocked the floor beneath their feet.

Simon’s heart fell into his shoes and all he could think about was the medical center. River was still in there. “That was close. I need to –”

Kaylee only nodded in response.

“Stay here,” Simon demanded. He turned, pulled open the door and was through it before waiting for an answer from the wide-eyed woman standing behind him.

Simon squinted when he stepped outside, the sunlight of a fresh day blinding in its intensity. He coughed, smoke filling his lungs and rapidly fanning out to block the sun. As he moved quickly in the direction he knew the medical center to be, another missile hit the ground not too far away, kicking up dirt and debris that stung when they struck his skin.

He could hear the screams, could feel people running into him in an effort to find shelter from the deluge of missiles that had suddenly breached the perimeter of the city, but he was too focused on his task to look at the demolished buildings around him. When the smoke cleared enough for him to see the medical center, he clenched his jaw, cursing those who would prey on the weak and injured.

A mortar had struck the ground close by, and glass from the front window panes that had shattered upon impact littered the ground. People milled about outside, but there were few. Most, he knew, would have run into the building in an effort to protect themselves.

He grabbed a nearby woman, standing in shock on the front steps, and ushered her inside. She was injured, but he would tend to her as soon as they got inside, safe, for the moment, from the falling debris.

Dimly, he could hear the whir of yet another missile, but he didn’t bother to look back to try and ascertain its trajectory. He simply pushed people further inside. It turned out that he saved their lives; the missile struck the entrance to the medical center. The resulting explosion hurled the wall inward, easily knocking everyone in the vicinity off their feet – including Simon.

Part of ceiling came down, and immediately all the voices fell silent. Darkness consumed his vision, and the last thing Simon thought of before he slipped blissfully into unconsciousness was the feel of Kaylee’s mouth on his and the right words he would never get to whisper passing easily through his lips.

TBC

------------

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COMMENTS

Friday, May 18, 2007 5:51 AM

AMDOBELL


Kaylee seems a little too critical here, I think she would have wanted to let Simon explain rather than get all snappy and hurt by jumping to conclusions. If she thought about it she would know that Simon wouldn't just be after a warm body to satisfy his sexual cravings, it simply isn't his way. And crumbs, poor Simon caught in that blast. I hope both he and River are going to be alright. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Friday, May 18, 2007 5:55 AM

LEIASKY


Ahh, but remember how immature she is in taking everything he says, or doesn't say, to heart? She did it all through the series, overreacted spectacularly, and now she's going to have to deal with the guilt. . .

Friday, May 18, 2007 6:59 AM

CHAZZER


NO! SIMON!!

Ok, you haven't killed him, since there are still four more parts left.

Right...

Right...?

This is awesome. I'm loving it even more! Post quicker! :D

ACtually it's working quite well with you and Tamsibling appearing to post on alternate days, I'm getting my fix nice and regular like.

Friday, May 18, 2007 12:53 PM

TAMSIBLING


This was heart-wrenching only because you've written Simon's regret and conflict so amazingly well. I admit, I was cringing when Kaylee started her attack, but it was perfectly in character for her. Amazing how all the things she accused him of were the exact things Simon was worried about. Maybe they know each other a bit better than they think.

I really hope you didn't kill him though - I know how you enjoy inflicting pain on Simon, but please don't kill him ... although the guilt Kaylee'd be in for ... woohoo!

Friday, May 18, 2007 2:17 PM

BIGBADJAYNE


wow.
this was really really great....the angst is very palpable and I have to agree with everyone that Kaylee's on the short end of her temper here...but yeah she did tend to overreact to things. However, Simon is a major boob.
As old as he is, he should be able to express himself by now, no? writing for the show they built that up too much I think...now we're paying a price every time someone has to write his inabilty to sort through his feelings for her and actually say I Love You, Kaylee....which is what we all wanted and never got..even in the damm movie.
Your usual great work. And finally...
You really like injuring that man, don't you?

Saturday, May 19, 2007 4:51 AM

MAL4PREZ


But Simon injures so well... maybe not as well as Mal, but that's for me to do ;)

Seriously, nice writing Leiasky! Kaylee is being over sensitive and silly, and Simon's a dope, but hey - if we were all reasonable and well adjusted, where would the drama be?

Saturday, May 19, 2007 5:53 AM

BLACKBEANIE


Normally, I wouldn't think you killed Simon, but after the (we assume) massacre in your previous series I'm not so sure.

While Kaylee was getting angry at Simon and he stayes silent, I actually said out loud 'say something!' My dad's looking at me like I'm crazy.

Sunday, May 20, 2007 9:02 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


I have to disagree with you there, BigBadJayne...being s certain age doesn't guarantee one has the ability to convey feelings in an effective manner. I know I suck at talking about how I feel with people, close or stranger, and I am less than a handful of years younger than Simon is supposed to be. Hell, Mall is about 6 years older than Simon and Jayne is a decade plus older than Simon...neither one of them are masters of emotionally-oriented conversation. Though I see your point...Simon's boobishness is frustrating to read at times, since we know he has all these shiny feelings hidden deep inside him.

And Kaylee is definitely in fine form here...though for less-than-stellar reasons. She's had several months to get to know Simon and she still thinks he is capable of loving them and leaving them? Guess Kaylee's hidden self-doubts really come to the fore here, and I think so they should. I really think Joss and his merry band of scribes would have done quite a bit with Kaylee's darker side that was always hidden by her seemingly infinite optimism and friendliness, had the series gone on longer. I really think that a ripe opportunity was missed by a chance for Kaylee's thoughts and feelings concerning River pre-Ois or BDM not being explored. Deep down, how much fear and jealousy did/does Kaylee carry our favourite teenage psychic and one-woman army, because of her relationship with Simon?

BEB


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