Kaylee had to cover her hand with her mouth to keep from squealing with delight. It was the final touch the galley needed. She looked around the store trying to locate her crewmates. She wanted this to be a surprise.

Third Hand Joe’s, the largest thrift store on Persephone, was full of dark and dusty corners to hide in. Kaylee took her prized possession off the shelf and shuffled off to a quiet place next to some old mattresses.

She held it up, a sight to behold. A cream colored tin sign with black lettering and a border of light green vines. Kaylee bit her lip in thought. Don’t really need it. Mean Serenity needs a new wrench mo’ren I need a silly sign. Then she felt the weight in her pocket, all the platinum from her part of a job that that had finally gone right. Aw, what the hell? She thought, grinning. Only live once.

“Hiding?” asked a voice from behind, causing Kaylee to drop the sign. “Sorry, sorry,” Wash said waving to the store patrons that looked up at the loud clank. “I have kind of an EMP effect on women,” he said to a man in a straw hat who glarrd at Wash as he walked by. “Really, you should see my wife.”

Kaylee waved, her face bright pink with embarrassment.

Wash bent over to pick up the sign. ”Home may be where the heart is, but family is where the food is,” he read. “That’s adorable.” “What’s adorable?” asked Zoë, peering over Wash’s shoulder.

“Oh,” whined Kaylee. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“It still can be,” said Simon from behind Kaylee.

Book had wandered over to see what the crowd had formed over. “Oh, my. Well, all of us aren’t here.”

“The Captain is going to hate that,” Simon said, looking at the sign like he had a bad taste in his mouth.

“You think?” Kaylee asked, disappointed.

“Happen to recall when you painted the vines in the first place?” Zoë asked, cringing at the memory.

“Or the tinsel at Christmas?” reminded Book.

The whole crowd grumbled at the memory of that little affair.

“Well, ain’t no point in buyin’ it, if I can’t put it up,”sighed Kaylee starting to walk away.

“Unless we can convince him it was there all along,” Simon said mischievously.

“Simon!” exclaimed Kaylee, both excited and horrified.

“So what you are suggesting,” said Book, over the rest of the group’s giggles, “is that Kaylee purchase this sign purely to annoy the captain?”

“Kaylee,” Wash said, reaching into his pocket. “I will chip in and help pay for the sign if it is purchased just to annoy the Captain.”

“I’ll help, too,” said Simon adding coins to Kaylee’s hand. “It’s kind of nice to waste money again.”

“Zoë?” Kaylee asked, and she shook her head. Wash stuck his tongue out at his wife.

Kaylee turned to Book. ”Shepherd?”

“No, thank you,” he responded, smiling. “But I won’t ruin your game either.”

“Oh,” Zoë said as she looked towards the front of the store. “Captain’s here. Scatter.”

Simon and Kaylee took the long way around the store to avoid Mal and hide the sign. “You think we can pull this off?” Simon asked, amused.

“Oh, sure,” Kaylee said confidently. “Might be fun, too.

“How?”

“How will I do it, or how will it be fun?” teased Kaylee. Simon smiled. ”How will you do it?”

“Easy,” grinned Kaylee. “Inara.”

* * * Mal needed to be on the bridge, searching the cortex for future work. He could have been in his bunk fixing with Serenity’s books, enjoying the numbers on the other side of the red line for once. But,no. It reminded him of a cartoon Jayne had been watching on the Cortex some time past. This dog, who oddly enough wore pants, was being dragged nose first on account of this smell that was luring him into the kitchen It was much the same with Mal in that moment.

He stopped as soon as he walked into the galley. “Is that…?”

Inara smiled at the sight of him. “It sure is. Beef stew.”

Mal shook his head. “Actual beef. A chunk of cow.”

Inara slapped his hand as it reached into the pot for a taste. “Dare I say, just like mom used to make.”

“We’ll have to see about that now then, won’t we. That’s a tall order.” Mal grabbed an uncooked carrot and leaned on the counter. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to the ugliest sign he had ever seen.

“What’s what?” Inara asked, holding out a large wooden spoon. “Here, give it a try.”

Mal took a sip off of the spoon and tried not to sigh as the broth slid down his throat. It was heavenly. In all the times he had imagined Inara making him feel this way, he had never imagined it involving stew. Of any kind.

“Seriously, where did that sign come from?”

Inara smiled at him. “You are joking, right?”

As his expression showed he was not, her face fell.

“What?” he asked confused.

“Mal, that has been up there nearly as long as I have been here. In fact it was a gift, to Serenity,,” Inara finished, looking upset. “I gave it to Serenity.”

Mal looked up guiltily as Kaylee entered the galley from the bridge. ”‘Nara?” she asked with great concern.

“Kaylee, will you look after dinner, please?” she asked. “Excuse me,” she said coldly to Mal, turning on her heel to leave.

“Aw, Captain. What did you do now?”

Mal suddenly felt tired. “That sign up there?”

Kaylee nodded. “Yeah?”

“I have never seen it before,” Mal said, expecting Kaylee to agree.

“Cap’n! How could you forget that?” Kaylee shook her head, frustrated. “I was so mad at you.”

“At me, why?”

Kaylee looked incredulous. “It took me weeks, weeks of fighting you ‘fore you let me paint them vines. Then ‘Nara just waltzes in an adds a sign and you didn’t say notnin’ on it.”

Mal was in full defense mode now. He threw up his hands. “She was new, what was I supposed ta…no. It’s ‘cause it wasn’t there. I don’t know what you all are pullin’ here, but I’m tellin’ ya-“

Jayne chose that moment to barrel in. “Hey, is that meat?”

Mal smacked Jayne’s hand as he tried to reach inside the pot.

“Jayne,” asked Kaylee innocently, “anything new on the wall there.”

Jayne tensed. “Um, no. Surely don’t see a stain up there. Gotta go, I uh, gotta clean um…meetin’ the Shepherd.”

Mal watched him leave as Kaylee inspected the wall. She scrunched her nose, “Oh, eww, what is that?”

“Don’t rightly know, don’t much want to know,” Mal said.

“Well, Captain, point is you ruined a nice day.” Kaylee started to sniffle. “We got this great meal and we’re all in such shiny moods and now you’ve gone and ruined it…”

Kaylee, come on, don’t...” Mal sighed heavily. “I’ll go talk to Inara.”

Mal left and headed down the stairs to the cargo bay. He had just entered when he nearly slammed into Inara, who was equally not looking at where she was going. They both mumbled apologies and Mal looked down at his chest, where Inara’s hands had landed. She followed his eyes, and removed her hands like they were burning.

Mal tried not to notice the sudden heat that had left him. “As it happens, I was just comin’ up to see you.”

“Oh?” said Inara, raising an eyebrow. “Were you going to barge in again, or did you remember this time that someone lives there?” She moved past Mal and headed back up the stairs.

Mal rolled his eyes as he took off behind her. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I got Kaylee cryin’ into dinner when she ought be smiling and eye battin’ at the doctor. Crew’s worked awful hard to have something go this easy, got this big real meal cookin’ and I ain’t gonna be the fella that ruins it.”

Inara spun and stared him right in the eye. “That’s right, you won’t be. I have decided not to allow you ruin this crew’s celebration. Something else you may have overlooked is that I prepared that meal with that crew in mind. So in the name of peace,” she said, walking up the stairs,” let’s just not speak on it again.”

“Just like that?” Mal asked as they entered the galley. Mal looked uneasily at the rest of the crew that had found their way to the dining table.

Inara ignored his last question and walked over to Kaylee who was arranging the rolls on a plate. She gave Kaylee a hug and then turned her attention to dinner.

Mal shook his head as he went to sit down. “All this over a stupid…Where’s the sign?“

Kaylee placed the rolls on the table. “What sign, Cap’n?”

He looked like he might pull his gun. “The sign we just spent a half hour argunin’ on. The one you went all teary on account of?”

“Captain,” Simon started as he carefully walked towards Mal, “did you get hurt on the job and not mention it? Hit your head, or…”

Suddenly from the end of the table Wash exploded with laughter.

“Aw, Wash,” Kaylee said, throwing a towel at him.

Within seconds the rest of the galley was in stitches.

“I’m sorry, it was Jayne. He took the sign down and he wasn’t even in on the joke,” gasped Wash through his laughter.

Mal stood harshly away from the table, bowl in hand. He began to slam stew into his bowl “Y’all ain’t got nothing better to do with your money that’s fine-“

“Oh, Cap’n”, said Kaylee.

“It was just little prank, Mal,” tried Inara.

River gave Mal a knowing look, and he avoided her gaze.

Mal put a roll on top of his stew and left the galley, mumbling about it being unwise to torment one’s captain.

Safely in his bunk, Mal sat down at his desk and pulled out Serenity’s books. Long as they’re laughing, Mal thought taking a bite of his dinner, don’t care too much right now what it is they are laughing about.