The Junk Collector: Part 1
Thursday, January 18, 2007

Another Zoe and Wash fanfic. Pre-series, the episode after Baobei.


Disclaimer: These characters and places are owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy... Sadly, neither of those are me.

The liquid burned his throat, but it brought with it the refreshing knowledge that he was not completely drunk yet. Zoe's laughter seemed echoey, and she was a little blurry, but he was still sober enough to feel the burn of the St. Albans Rum.

"Ha!" he said.

"What are you on about now?" she asked, laughing again and touching his arm from across the table.

"You're losing." he said with a boyish grin.

"I'm losing?" she asked, laughing harder. "How do you figure?"

"See? I already have you under my spell." he said, grinning again, "I have you all a flutter with my manly charm." he said manly in fake deep voice. "You, my dear Baobei, are losing because I am... winning." he said, grinning even wider.

She giggled louder, "Oh, you must be winning, your logic is so solid and surefire." she teased. The rum had made her lightheaded and doing something such as giggling didn't seem so uncharacteristic to her anymore. However, she had certainly had less than the man across the table from her.

"Oh yeah!" he said, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably, dissolving into a laugh. "Well, let's see your roll and we'll see who's winnin'!"

She laughed again and scooped up the dice. She closed her eyes and threw them across the board. "Ha!" she said, "Drink up, drink up. Zoe rolled a six, Wash has got to drink!" she said sitting back with laughter on her face.

Wash glared at her in what he thought was a menacing way, but it really looked like cute frustration, causing her to giggle again. He grabbed the bottle of rum and laughed at her. Pouring a shot, he said, "You just wait, Baobei. I'm still in this. I will win!" he said matter of factly, holding up his finger in an important way, making an important face. She just laughed harder as he dutifully drank the shot. It didn't burn so much this time, "You laugh now, but you will be amazed at my winnage. Winnage? Is that a word? Nevermind! I will not give up! You cannot make me give up!" he said, his finger going into the air again.

"Oh really?" she asked, giggling again. She rested the back of her hand against his cheek. "There's nothing I could do to dissuade you from continuing? Nothing at all?" she asked teasingly, one eyebrow raised.

He closed his eyes and his hand went up to hold hers to his face. It felt so nice there, so right. "Well..." he said opening his eyes with a small grin, "There are a few things I could think of..."

Smiling, she withdrew her hand and leaned across the table. Her lips found his and tasted them teasingly. Pulling her head back, she said softly, "How 'bout now? Feelin' a change of heart?"

"I'm feelin' a change in somethin', but it definitely ain't my heart." he said looking down.

She lightly punched his arm. "You're bad." she said, laughing.

"And it feels so good!" he replied.

"You know some of us actually enjoy sleepin'." A voice said from the doorway. "And that's pretty much impossible with you lovebirds up here gigglin' up a storm!" Mal shouted, though it wasn't necessarily an angry shout. Mildly annoyed maybe.

Zoe laughed at him, "Sorry, Cap'n, won't make another peep." she said smiling.

He pointed at her with one of his 'I'm just the silly ruttin' captain' expressions, "Better not, or I sure as Hell ain't goin' to come up here to tell you to shut up myself next time. I'll use the comms." smiling, he turned on his heel and went back to his room, they heard the door shutting behind him.

They burst out into silent laughter at Mal. "Oh... we best be off to bed." Zoe said with a smile.

"So soon?" Wash laughed quietly, "Does this mean I win?" he asked hopefully.

"You wish." she said smiling at him, standing with a groan. Picking up the rum and the cup, she put them away. Coming back to the table, she offered him her arm to help him stand, she knew he was going to need it.

He accepted her help in standing, and still had trouble. She drew him up, but he insisted on standing on his own, no matter how much he wobbled. "Can I walk Baobei to her room?" he asked.

"I think I should be walkin' you to your room just to make sure you got there in one piece." she said with a quiet giggle.

"Prolly should, but I ain't goin' to letcha. It's right and proper for a man to walk a lady to her room." he said, taking hold of her hand. Smiling she let him lead her- or supported him as he tried to lead her- to her room. "Night, Baobei." he said, leaning up and giving her a light kiss.

"Goodnight Wash." she said, pushing open the ladder door and descending into her room. She heard him walking off.

She undressed and climbed into her bed, which felt like a big, lonely, and terribly empty place. Drifting off to sleep, thoughts of Wash still on her mind, she began to dream. Wonderful dreams.

Wash's hand ran tenderly across her naked breast, his mouth covering hers with a hungry fire... Their legs were intertwined and he was burning inside of her, his fire spreading to her...

Zoe sat up straight in her bed and wondered why she had woken from such a wonderful dream. Glancing at the time, she thought, 'Oh, that's why' with a groan and swung her legs out of bed.

Wrapping herself in her robe, she grabbed a towel and headed for the shower.

Letting the hot water sink into her skin, she felt as if she could melt away, thinking of Wash.

Especially when he was standing on the other side of the plexiglass door to the shower. Opening the door and leaning her head out, she said, "Hmm... This seems awfully familiar." she was smiling.

"Actually, this time was purely an accident." he said innocently, "Woke up with a headache and decided to come down for a shower." he had a little grin on his face that said this was true, but he knew she would be there. "Just tell me one thing, you got a rifle in there this time?"

She laughed, "Nope, no rifle."

"Good." he said in fake relief, still smiling.

Her mind seemed like a snowstorm to her, the thoughts were all a jumble. Last time they had been in this situation, she hadn't wanted him looking at her. Now she didn't mind so much, in fact, she didn't mind at all. Actually, she wanted him to look.

Without realizing it, she had been blushing and silent for an entire minute. Looking up at him, she realized he was blushing too.

He took a step forward and stopped, his expression inquisitive. "If you don't stop playin' Mother May I and get your ass over here in the next thirty seconds, I'm closin' this door!" she said.

He smiled, a smile she hadn't seen before. It was deep and caring, but also hungry and passionate. It reminded her of her dream and she shivered in delight. Taking his robe off, he joined her on the other side of the door.

Closing it, she said, "Oh, you're lucky you made it in here in twenty-nine and a half seconds."

He laughed lightly. "Half a second more and I'd still be wonderin'," he said, glancing down at her wet, naked body, "What you looked like without a plexiglass door between us." she smiled at this, a blush tinting her cheeks again. He looked around at the two shower shelves and saw only soap, "Just checkin'" he said, holding his hands up in defense.

She smiled at him. His arm encircled her waist and drew her into a deep, passionate kiss. When they drew their faces apart, she was breathing hard, and so was he. Her mind reeled, this was better than the dream and they hadn't even gotten to the good part yet!

His hand caressed the small of her back, as did the hot water. It was the best she had ever felt in her entire life. She could tell that it was the best he had felt as well.

Wash let out a long, slow breath. She was so beautiful with her hair all wet and plastered to her naked body. A hiss escaped his lips when her lips were suddenly at his neck, caressing it, kissing it... His other arm went around her waist and drew her in even closer, pressing her body against his.

Her kisses moved up his neck, and she nibbled lightly on the part just below his cheek, then they moved up to his lips. Her lips tasted of what he expected morning dew would taste of. Strong arms went around his waist and slithered up his back, clutching and clawing at his shoulder blades as he ravaged her mouth.

Then they were one flesh, and Wash was unsure he had any coherent thoughts at this time. Her warm, wet body sliding against his was almost more than he could take. He was going into sensory overload. With one last thrust of passion, he exploded into her.

There was a still moment, of just breathing and letting the water wash over them. She couldn't have been happier if they had won the Battle of Serenity Valley.

Serenity shuddered. Wash lifted his head up, from where his forehead had been resting against hers, "What was that?" he asked.

She looked mildly concerned. "I don't know." she said. The ship shuddered again, this time more violently.


Zoe turned off the water and the two of them got dressed quickly, then hurried up to the bridge. "What's wrong, Cap'n?" Zoe asked when they arrived.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed, WE'RE BEING SHOT AT! Other than that, everything's peachy keen. Tea and crumpets, whatever the Hell crumpets are." Mal said.

Wash would have laughed in a less serious situation, but now he just sat down in the pilot seat. "I'll try and outmaneuver 'em, Cap'n, but they're awfully big..."

"Just do it." Mal said. He turned to face Zoe, then he looked back at Wash. Zoe knew he was looking at their hastily drawn on clothes and wet hair. Thankfully, he didn't say anything to that effect. "Zo, can you think of any reason their shootin' at us. We're carryin' perfectly legit cargo right now, I can't think of any gorram reason they'd be shootin' at us."

"No sir." she said, folding her arms across her chest in thought, "Unless they want to steal the shipment of mirrors we're carryin'."

"Could be, but not likely. Nobody but wealthy people want mirrors and if they's stealin' they obviously ain't wealthy." Mal replied. "Keep that in mind though."

"Maybe... they want the ship?" Wash asked.

"They ain't gettin' it, if that's their aim. I don't know, send 'em a wave. See if that works." Mal said.

"Sir, it's highly doubtful they would respond to a-" Zoe began.

"Captain of the Firefly Class ship, prepare to be boarded. We're relieving you of the burden of this pile of junk."

Mal went over to the screen, "If it's a pile of junk then why do you want it so bad? Are you a junk collector. Does junk hold a special place in your heart?" Mal asked.

"Prepare to be borded, insolent cretin." the voice said again.

"Ain't no way, no how you're gonna-" The screen went blank and the ship jolted forward, then backward. Zoe and Mal fell to their knees and Wash's dinosaurs fell off the console. Kaylee and Jayne, who had been in the hall behind them, picked themselves up off the hall floor and came into the cockpit.

"What was that, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked.

"I have an idea." Mal said, stepping around everone and sprinting off. Jayne followed him, as did Zoe and Kaylee. Wash discovered his commands had no effect on the ship right now, so he went too.

They followed the captain to the cargo bay and were greeted by gunfire. Apparently the larger ship had latched onto theirs and forced the cargo bay doors open. Mal was kneeling behind some boxes on the catwalk, returning fire.

As soon as Mal saw Kaylee, he said, "Go see if you can find some way to detatch us! Ain't no need for you in a gunfight."

She nodded and ran off to do this. Zoe, Jayne, and Wash had their guns out and were shooting at the intruders. Soon, they were on the catwalk too. Wash kicked a guy off the catwalk, only to trip over another and fall off himself.

The battle ranged all over the cargo bay, the intruders were mostly forced back by the crewmembers to the door. Suddenly the ships rumbled again, Kaylee had detatched them. Wash had been fighting next to the door and fell onto the other ship as they broke apart and the doors closed.

Mal was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall. "Everybody alive?" he asked.

"Sir, Wash is on the other ship." Zoe said.

"What? How the Hell did this happen?"

"When the ships disengaged, it jolted him over sir." she said.

"Well, we'll just have to rescue his sorry ass." Mal replied.

**********To Be Continued************


Thursday, January 18, 2007 9:16 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER this was just brilliant! Wash/Zoe shower loving AND blazing gunfights...yep, perfect bit of prose you got here, Azlenna;)


Friday, January 19, 2007 1:09 AM


I am mighty concerned about Wash here, if he was jolted into the open hatch of the other ship wouldn't he be sucked out into the atmo and how come Serenity didn't depressurise? Oh, and what the good gorram do those Alliance-type pirates want with mirrors? Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Friday, January 19, 2007 8:37 AM


no, the doors autoclosed when the clamps unlatched

Friday, January 19, 2007 3:00 PM


>He pointed at her with one of his 'I'm just the silly ruttin' captain' expressions

Fab story, great line!


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