“Didn’t you ever think about her?” Freya asked, the sheets tangled around her and Mal as they lay in bed, waiting for the ship to wake up around them.

“What, me and Zoe?” He looked down at her, stroking the back of her arm.

“Yeah. I mean, after Wash, and all …”

“Sure.”

She sat up in surprise. “You did?”

“Well, you asked.”

“And … did …”

“No.” He took hold of her and pulled her back to him, her breasts squished against his chest. “In all the time in the war, then after, I never took Zoe to bed.”

“But you wanted to.”

“Once. Maybe twice.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He half-laughed. “Well, for one, before I got made up to Sergeant there wasn't the time. Then when I was, she was my corporal and you don’t do it on your own doorstep. Be taking an unfair advantage.”

“And after?”

“I was the captain. Same rule applies.”

“But you wanted to,” she insisted.

“Frey, I’ve been with Zoe longer’n some marriages last. Hell, longer’n most. And she’s as close to me as a woman can get without being in my bed. She knows stuff about me that I wouldn’t want anyone else to know.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you. There’s dark deeds in my past that would curl your hair and make you go pale.”

“Really?” She looked into his eyes. “Like what?”

“No. That’s the point. I ain't telling, and neither is she.”

“That still doesn’t explain –“

“I think it does. Sure, I've wondered what she’d be like in bed. Used to hear her and Wash fighting and making up, and believe me, you think we’re loud? Nothing compared to them. I mean, she’s a damn fine looking woman, as I once said to Wash himself. But when she married him, that made her off limits anyway. Even if I had been looking to find me a bedmate.”

“Hmmn.”

He lifted her chin so he could look into her dark eyes. “Don’t you want to know why I wasn’t?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Hey, you started this!”

“I know. Maybe I shouldn’t have.”

He moved so he was facing her, his lips just a breath from hers. “I’d met you.”

“What?”

“I’d met you. When I was just made up to sergeant. And you changed me in ways I didn’t want to admit. Maybe before I would have, just have taken her. But not after.”

“Is that why you didn’t take Inara?”

“One of the reasons,” he admitted. “There were others, but, yes. One of them.”

She leaned forward just enough so that she could touch his lips with hers. “I love you.”

“I know.” He reached for her, hooking his hand around her waist to pull her towards him, feeling his growing child inside her. “And I love you. With all my heart.”

“Not even a little bit left for the others?”

“Maybe a bit.” He smiled. “Although it kinda occurs to me that maybe I love them with my head.”

“Just so long as your body stays mine,” she said, pressing herself against him.

“Always.”

“So does this mean you ain’t gonna space Hank now he’s bedded Zoe?” she asked, nibbling the skin around his nipple.

He groaned slightly. “Might take more persuasion.”

She smiled up at him. “That I think I can manage.”