Mal stared at Zoe's closed hatch. Not hers and Wash's, but now just hers. And yet not so, as everything probably reminded her of him. She'd disobeyed him in marrying Wash. The only order she ever told him to go to hell for. Now she was in hell.

Tonight he needed to know that he was not Wash. Or Book. Or even Mr. Universe.

Just tonight.

He'd never remember actually walking to Inara's shuttle, but he found himself there, staring at her closed door. He raised his hand to knock, and hesitated. The voice inside his head that had taunted him ever since Nandi had died whispered again: "She's better than you."

Except tonight, Mal almost didn't care if that voice spoke the truth. He almost didn't care if she used him as she had so many before. His need and desire for her was too strong. Not for her body, but for her being alive.

Mal took a deep breath and just as he was about to knock, the door swung open. She stood before him, barefoot, hair mussed and no makeup. He imagined this must be what angels look like first thing in the morning.

OK, maybe he wanted her a bit for her body.

"Mal?"

"Just tonight. I promise."

It was a plea, a beg, an outright lie. It was everything he didn't want to do in front of her and nothing he could stop himself from.

She stepped aside to let him in, and closed the hatch. Wordlessly, he gathered her in his arms, so that he could breathe her in. Nightblooming jasmine flooded his senses. She smelled and tasted of living things. Of everything that Wash and Book weren't.

She pulled away first, looking at him with big, unblinking eyes.

"Mal?"

"Just tonight. I promise."

Their lovemaking was raw and wordless. When she finally sank down onto him, he felt more real, more whole, than he had for the past three days. At one point, he drew blood from her shoulder onto his tongue. The tang of it made her real for him as well.

After it was all over, after he had emptied himself into her so hard he almost blacked out, she looked at him again.

"Mal?"

"Just tonight. I promise."

And that little voice taunted him with something new: "Liar."