Inspired by Leiasky's latest, "Cherries", which you should read if you haven't yet. Thanks for the idea!

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"Uh-huh. Ain't no way I'm goin' in there for that."

"But Cap'n, we need it, else we're gonna lose to Simon an' River."

"No. Ain't riflin' through there. Ain't got no business pokin' in all that. Might find something I ain't itchin' to find." Mal crossed his arms across his chest, assuming his best captain stance as he stared his mechanic down.

Kaylee gave him a pointed look before pointing to the itemized list she held in her hand. "You're more like to know where to find it than me."

"You hintin' at something, Kaylee Bird?"

"Nara plays dress up with you, not me, Cap. You know where she keeps these things. 'Sides, it's just a corset. Ain't like Nara's gonna miss it for a few minutes. Someone as classy as her's got to have more 'an one, anyhows." Kaylee flashed her wounded puppy look, big brown eyes all wide and innocent looking.

"And do you really want to listen to Simon braggin' on his victory all through dinner?"

Mal caved.

"This is Fung Luh, Kaylee. If Nara catches me she'll-"

She smiled and tugged at a strand of auburn hair. "It's shiny, Captain. Inara won't be back from town for awhile yet. You got all kindsa time t' look." She winked at him.

"'Sides, ain't you all sorts of familiar with her pretties drawer by now?"

"Gwon nee ju jee du shu" He warned her with brotherly affection, but grinned and spoiled the effect. "Might be, supposin' in the same way you're familiar with the Doc's infirmary table."

The young woman laughed as she read the list outloud.

"It's the last thing we need, then we win. So don't chicken out on me. One purple corset. Now go."

Mal rolled his eyes at Serenity's ceiling. "Kaylee, this box of fruit really so important that I gotta violate Nara's privacy and steal her underwear?"

"Hell yes. There's strawberries in that crate!"

Malcolm Reynolds knew he was humped. Kaylee sniffed those strawberries out like a bloodhound, and when Jayne had suggested a scavenger hunt, winner take all, as a way of divvying up the scant berries, Kaylee had jumped all over the suggestion with a determined flare.

Come hell or high water, Kaylee was gonna get that fruit. Even if it meant throwing Mal headfirst into Inara's lingere drawer.

"Alright, I'll steal a corset. But just you know, Kaylee, I get caught, you're goin' down with me."

"Less idle threats, more thievin'." She pushed him towards the companion's shuttle, watching as he slipped through the door and disappeared into Inara's haven of red silk and incense.

Mal paused, looking about the empty shuttle. Nara had gone into town with Zoe hours ago, and didn't look to be back 'til nightfall. Still, Mal felt decidely sneaky and naughty, shifting about her personals when she wasn't here.

He swallowed thickly, and made a beeline for her dresser, knowing where she kept those enticing bits of silks and satins. He'd become quite familiar with her lingere over the past few months, but still....weren't everyday a man stole his lover's underwear.

He rooted through the drawer, finally finding the object he needed.

"Ahhah!" He pulled the corset out of the drawer with a victorious flair, a goofy smile spreading across his face. That grin vanished quickly when the corset caught on the dresser and tore, the fine Amethyst silk ripping with a quiet sound. "Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze fuh ur-tze." He cursed as he examined the material, knowing Nara was gonna be more'an a bit angry at him.

He whirled around to see Inara standing behind him, hands on her hips and a confused look upon her beautiful features.

"You've seen that one before, Mal. As I recall, you had a slightly different reaction."

"I, uh...I was just, well, now see..." Mal stammered, guilty and emabarassed at having been caught. " 'Was space monkeys", he said simply.

Inara smiled as she moved closer. She took the corset from his hands, her dark eyes resigned when she spied the tear.

"If you were going to tear my undergarments, Mal, I'd've reacted better if I were in them first."

Mal opened his mouth to apologize, but blinked as his brain filled with all sorts of pleasant images. "So you get off on that sorta thing-" He stopped when he saw the look on her face, his naughty grin replaced by a sincere look of guilt.

"I'm sorry, 'Nara. Didn't mean to rip your pretties. Hell, I'll buy ya a whole bunch next time we're planetside."

She eyed him curiously. "As gracious an apology as that is, perhaps you might tell me just why you're stealing my corset? Is used underwear the newest deal on the black market? Has pretty thieving reached the intimates department?" She smiled softly at him. "Should I lock up my thongs?"

Mal ran a hand through his hair. "It's a scavenger hunt."

"Shuh mah?"

"Last job paid in coin, but we also got ourselves a crate of fruit as an extra. Kaylee sniffed out some strawberries, but weren't enough for the crew, so Jayne suggested a scavenger hunt, winner takes all, and really, it's Kaylee's fault I'm wrist deep in your underwear."

Inara raised a dark eyebrow.

"Well, alright. Maybe there's a small bit o'me likes rifling through those little bits of scrap." He grinned devilishly at her. "'Course, like seein' 'em on you better 'an in your drawer."

"So in order to win the hunt, you needed-"

"One of your fancy rib-crackers."

"I see." She paused to think, and then tossed the corset at the Captain, who caught it in the face.

"Just mend it before you return it."

He held the scrap in his hands, and nodded. As he walked out, Inara's voice called to him.

"You're still taking me shopping, Captain. Don't forget."