BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

JAYNEISNOTAGIRLSNAME

Jaynes Very Own - Introductions
Sunday, August 20, 2006

Jayne left a little something behind in his past, now it's caught back up to him


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2375    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

Jayne’s Own Disclaim: Usually stuff, not mine, cept fer Jane, no Y. Criticism welcome, but please be nice Sorry bout the spelling, gramma, punctuation etc etc. Enjoy

**************** Jayne woke with a start, confused as to what had woke him, “Gorram stupid pig whore” he muttered as he recognized the sound of Mal’s voice over the P.A system, “Jayne, you got a wave”. Jayne leapt out of bed; he never got waves, not even from his friends, if that’s what you call a group of mercenaries he would occasionally meet at various ports. “Who is it Mal?” he replied over the comm. “Some real nice lookin’ lady” Mal replied “Fancy whore nice or nasty whore nice?” Jayne asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes “Little less nice then Inara, you gonna take it or just keep askin’ stupid questions?” “Oright, oright, put ‘er through” Jayne huffed The screen crackled to life and a pretty woman, probably a little younger than Jayne appeared, he neutral face turned to a scowl when she saw Jayne. “Well, I can see you are still alive” she said curtly “Eh?” Jayne replied, confused as to who this woman was “Well I can tell by your well developed vocabulary that you do not remember me” She said, scowl deepening. “Well, if I stole sumthin’ from ya, you aint getting’ it back” Jayne said, waiting for the woman to yell at him “As a matter of fact Jayne, I have something of yours” she replied, smirking at the face he pulled “Well, what is it?” he replied nervously, worried it was a grenade minus the pin “If you want it, your going to have to let us board” she replied, folding her arms across her chest “Who’s we?” he replied, thinking of any number of people who would want to kill him, or had something of his “My crew, I have been searching for you for quite a time now” she replied, “We will be docking with your ship at 1900 hours” she said, cutting the link. Jayne checked his watched, then pulled open the doors of his cupboard it was already 6.30pm, he pulled on his favorite shirt and strapping a pistol to his hip, and a knife to his boot.

He stood in the cargo bay, waiting, Mal and Zoë standing behind him, Kaylee on the walkway behind them, Inara next to her, dressed for distinguished company. His ears pricked up when he heard the sound of another ship docking in with them, he gripped the pistol nervously, waiting for a group of armed men to leap out and start shooting. The door swung open and the woman walked in, followed by two men, dressed in formal clothing, wearing dark glasses. Everyone stood in silence until Mal said loudly, “Jayne, aint ya gonna introduce your friends?” “Err…Mal, Zoë, this is, umm…actually I don’t really know who they are” he replied, not taking his eyes from the three people in front of him. “Farris Burghis, or don’t you remember what happened 19 years ago?” she said, stepping forward. “Well, as far as I can ‘member, we….well I remember your name, but I don’t really know why” Jayne replied warily. “Jayne, we dated for six months, then you left high and dry in Lonix” she snapped at him. “Oh..Ooh! I remember you, eight times in one night, best I had in a long while” Jayne exclaimed, grinning, his grin faded when he saw the look on her face. “Well, whadda ya have of mine?” he replied, now thinking that he had lost a t-shirt. “Who, is more like it Jayne” she replied, she turned and whistled sharply, a teenage girl, about 18 years old stepped through the door, she was wearing a flowing dress, and had dark brown hair like Jayne, as well a slightly squared jaw. “Gorram it” Jayne said, staring at the girl in front of him, who stared straight back, the same look of shock on her face. “This is your father Jayne, Jayne, this is your daughter” Farris said, smirking at the looks on both their faces. “Oh my god, it’s a girl version of Jayne” Simon said as he walked out of the infirmary, followed closely by River, who looked at the girl, then at Jayne and giggled, she walked straight up to the girl and said, “Hi, I’m River, nice to meet you Jane” she said, holding her hand out. “Nice t’meet ya River, umm, how’d you know my name like that?” Jane asked through a thick rim accent. “Hol’ on a tick, your name is Jayne, like, the big idiot Jayne?” Mal asked, stepping forward in line with Jayne, who shot him a dirty look. “No sir, aint th’ same spellin’ I’m Jane, no Y” she replied politely “Well she talks a lot nicer than Jayne with a Y” Kaylee piped in, leaning over the railing. “Well im sorry to interrupt this little, heart warming ceremony, but I need to be leaving, come Jane, off to the Ariel girls academy” Farris said, grabbing Jane’s arm, Jane looked at her newly discovered father, a pleading look in her eyes. “Gorram it woman, what are ya doin’ to her?” Jayne said, pulling Jane away from Farris’s grasp. “Aint no kid’a mine goin to some snobby boardin’ school if they aint wantin’ to” he said, squeezing the butt of his pistol tightly. “Aint no family of yours been to school Jayne” Farris sneered at him, grabbing Jane’s arm and pulling her towards the door. “Gorram it woman, how bout you ask little Jane if she be wantin’ to go” Jayne said, Pistol half out of its holster. “She wants to go, don’t you Jane” Farris said, squeezing Jane’s arm tightly on the ‘don’t you’. Jane pulled herself free and moved behind Jayne, half cowering from her mother, who had a wild look in her eyes. “Well now Farris, I think the girl has made her choice on the matter” Mal interrupted, stepping between Jayne and Farris, both of whom had pistols out of their holster, and were raising them. “She is only 18, she has no idea what she wants” Farris snapped at Mal, who took a step back, one eyebrow raised in surprise at the woman’s sudden savageness. Jayne grinned at her evilly, “How bout we ask little Jane who she wants to stay with” Jayne said, stepping to the side, and pushing Jane slightly forward. The girl looked up at her mother, who had her arms folded across her chest, then to her newly discovered father who had his thumbs hooked into his belt. To er, one represented sophistication and wealth, the other, adventure and possible danger, she hesitated for a moment, then took a step towards Jayne, she may not know him much, but what she had seen, she liked. Jayne grinned at the fury on Farris’s face; she turned on her heel and stormed back on board her ship, not before turning at the door and saying, voice dripping with venom, “What you wear is what you own”. Jayne placed a hand on her shoulder and turned to Mal, a victorious grin on his face. “I beat ‘er Mal, ya see it, she was so mad, she was practically ready to spit” he said, hooking both his thumbs in his belt proudly. “That was a nice victory Jayne, now how bout askin’ me if you can have a guest on board” Mal replied, causing the grin on Jayne’s face to fall slightly. “S’no matter Mal, she could have the Sheppard’s old room” he said, looking around at the face’s of the group, some of whom winced at the mention of their fallen friends name. “She’s gonna have to work to earn her keep” Mal said, looking Jane up and down. “Capt’n can we get some grub first?” Kaylee whined, knowing that if Mal had his way, they would be here all night finding out what the girl could do. “All right then , gives us a chance t’meet the youngling’” Mal said, walking past Zoë, who turned and followed him out of the cargo bay. Jayne turned and began to walk when he noticed Jane was still standing there behind him, “Gorram it little Jane, are you just gonna stand there all night, or are you gonna come and get some grub?” Jayne asked as gently as possible. She looked up and followed him into the mess slowly trying to keep back slightly. Jane took a seat between Kaylee and Jayne, her head down slightly, trying to avoid people talking to her, she didn’t like being in large social groups, they made her nervous about what they were all thinking of her, her mother had installed this kind of fear through constant criticism of what she said, did, wore and how she ate. “So, would someone like to explain to me what is going on?” Simon asked from the other side of the table, causing Jane to shift uncomfortably in her seat. “She muh kid” Jayne said, shoveling a fork full of protein pasta into his mouth, causing Simon to spit out what he had been eating in shock. “Your kid? You mean your foul tempered gene pool has been passed on?” Simon said, wincing as Kaylee and Mal kicked him under the table, then ducking quickly as a fork flew over his head. “You keep your mouth shut bout my kid now doc” Jayne said, taking a fork from the centre of the table. “You’ve only known the kid for half an hour and you’re throwing things at me over her” Simon pouted, copping another kicking from Mal and Kaylee, who both shot him looks saying ‘shut up before he beats you senseless’. “I’ll tell you what Doc, just imagine someone was saying stuff about River or Kaylee, wouldn’t you want to throw something at the fool who was sayin’ things” Jayne growled, causing the doc to shrug and look down. “Jane, what’re you good at?” Kaylee said kindly, smiling at her. “I don’t know Miss Kaylee, I was always made to stay out of the way, I wasn’t allowed to play with th’ other kids” Jane replied, blushing slightly at the stares she was receiving form the group. “Whadda ya say that tomorrow we find out what things you can do, heck, for all we know, you’re a budding pilot” Mal said, grinning at Jane, trying to make her feel more comfortable. “Bang” River said quietly, smiling at the group. Jane looked a her father who said, “Moon brain” he grunted as a fork lodged in his shoulder, the Doc blanching and leaping up to go and pull out the fork. “Gorram it Doc, sit down, I aint a cripple, I can pull it out m’self” Jayne said, gripping the handle, and then wrenching it out, handing the fork back to a stunned Simon. “Well, I think we all best finish up and turn in, been a long day, and night, Jayne, show, err.. Jane to her room,” Mal said, standing up, gripping the back of his chair.

COMMENTS

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 4:41 AM

ESPRITNOIR


“Fancy whore nice or nasty whore nice?” - oh so Jayne. oh so funny.
Nice start.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006 6:33 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh Jayne...only you could possible create that kind of distinction concerning whores;)

And while this was short and rather abrupt with the "Hey ho! You got a kid!" and the "You will lie in the bed you make, missy!"...I am liking it already:D

BEB

Thursday, August 24, 2006 6:04 PM

ICEBREATHER


This is interesting ... I like that you've made Jayne's heretofore unknown child a teenager, as opposed to a small child. I'm curious as to why her mother picked now to reveal her existence? And yay Jayne, jumping to his kid's defense right away ...

Friday, August 25, 2006 12:35 AM

JAYNEISNOTAGIRLSNAME


Oh cool, didn't know if anyone liked it, might get to work on a sequel.
All questions will be answered next issue


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