BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - DRAMA

LEIASKY

Killer Woman - Chapter 2
Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Kaylee lets her heart overrule her head and makes a mistake that causes someone else to be hurt. *post movie* S/K


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1817    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Yet another idea that came to me in the middle of the night and refused to let me sleep.

This was originally supposed to be a nice little oneshot with an ambiguous ending. But as you can see, I decided to continue it.

The title, while not one of my favorites, was appropriate. It is derived from one of Jayne's lines in the film. 'Now that she's a killer woman we ought be bringing her tea and dumplings.'

Thanks to Tamsibling for the beta.

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Click here for the Prologue.

Click here for Chapter 1.

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Killer Woman - Chapter 2

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“Thinkin’ the interrogation’s gonna have to wait until later, Sir.” Zoe helped Mal to his feet as they turned and exited the room, closing and locking the door tight behind them.

“Yup, I’m thinkin’ you’re right, Zo –“ Mal trailed off when noticed Kaylee walk into the room, brought out of the infirmary only by River’s incessant cries.

Inara moved to Kaylee’s side as Mal walked toward them, his eyes soft and his expression tender. “Lil’ Kaylee, how is –“

“Bad, Cap’n. But you know that already.” Her voice was weak, her face haunted as her eyes darted from the closed door to Mal and back again.

“We’re burnin’ as hot as we can for Verbana. We’ll get there.”

“He’s gonna die before then.” There was no emotion in her voice, just a statement of fact.

Mal felt the temperature drop several notches as a chill ran down his spine. He knew it was a very real possibility that Simon wouldn’t live long enough to get him to a hospital with the capability to treat his injuries. But the pain and heartache on Kaylee’s face now gave Mal the strength put a small smile on his face and lie to his mei mei. “Don’t say that.” He reached out and held her arms, to make sure she’d look at him and listen. “You just think good thoughts. He’ll make it.”

“Let’s sit down and eat something, Kaylee,” Inara said softly, trying to guide the younger girl toward the table.

“No, have to get back to Simon, I just –“ Kaylee glanced at the closed door that led to the storage closet. “I – heard –“ She swallowed thickly. “What are ya gonna do with her?”

“Put a bullet to her if he’s smart!” Jayne answered, getting a glare from everyone but Kaylee, whose eyes hadn’t left Mal’s.

“Come on, Mei mei,” Inara tried again to get Kaylee to move.

“No.” Kaylee shook her arms free, wincing as the slightly deeper cut in her shoulder pulled. “Don’t want nothin’.” She retreated back to the infirmary without another word, leaving everyone staring forlornly after her.

~*~

The first thing he felt when consciousness returned was cold. Bone-chilling cold that made him shiver to the very core. Next came the pain. So much pain that tears leaked out of the corner of eyes dried out from the loss of so much of his body’s life-sustaining moisture. And then came the shortness of breath, the hitch in his throat and in his heart as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate on inhaling enough air into his lungs to keep from passing out.

Simon groaned weakly and it took a long time for him to be able to focus on anything other than his own ragged breathing. But instincts ingrained in him as a well-trained trauma surgeon had his senses alerted to every sound. And currently, the loudest sound was the monitor beeping so far behind him he couldn’t possibly crane his neck far enough to get a look at it.

He tried, and was rewarded with a multitude of deep, sharp pains for his efforts.

Barely a sound came from his parched lips as he opened them to call for help. No one was there with him but he didn’t have the energy to think about why that was. He coughed and the pain that reverberated through his chest caused him to cry out weakly in agony.

He tried to move his hand, tried to look down at the sheet that covered him – dotted with red spatters of blood as it was, but he didn’t have enough strength. Another whimper of pain slipped from his lips and then another as the burning in his chest began to spread to his extremities. He coughed again and this time cried out as his body began to grow numb from the pain.

“Simon?!”

He could hear her calling him, and his head lolled to one side, his eyes barely open and registering her presence. He tried to say her name, and in his mind he did, but no sound actually fell from his lips.

Kaylee’s hand flattened against the side of his face and he could feel the heat from her skin scald his cold cheek. “Sweetie, stay awake, stay with me. I know the Cap’n and Zoe wanna talk to ya.”

Simon could feel the darkness encroaching upon his vision. He tried to speak but all that escaped his mouth were puffs of air so soft one wouldn’t have guessed he was trying to speak at all.

“Honey, Simon? Sweetie, please.”

Kaylee’s voice called to him over the incessant beeping of the monitor. He could tell the urgency by the tone and pitch, but all he could hear was the dimming sound as he graciously welcomed pain-free unconsciousness.

~*~

“Kaylee, you need to get some sleep, sweetie,” Inara said as she rested a gentle hand on Kaylee’s uninjured shoulder.

“Can’t leave ‘im.” Kaylee’s voice was soft, determined, and Inara felt her heart sink into her chest at the sound. “Can’t let ‘im wake up with no one here again.” One hand rested on Simon’s cold cheek, the other beneath the blanket holding his equally cold hand. “He looked so scared, ‘Nara.” Kaylee’s voice cracked and with difficulty she tore her eyes from his face and looked into her friend’s eyes. “He was really scared. I ain’t never seen him like that before.”

“I’m sure he was very disoriented, Kaylee. Mal has him pretty doped up.”

“It weren’t that.” Kaylee shook her head and returned her eyes to Simon’s pale face. “It was like he knew. He couldn’t talk, but I could see it in his eyes. He don’t think he has a chance. An’ I weren’t here to tell him he was gonna make it. He was all alone.”

“He has all of us to help him, Kaylee. Mal and Zoe are doing everything they can.”

“But they ain’t doctors an’ he’s hurt real bad.”

“He is,” Inara’s eyes shifted to his face for just a moment, unable to deny the truth in Kaylee’s words. “He’ll make it. We just have to have faith that we’ll reach Verbana in time.”

“An’ if we don’t?”

Inara wrapped her arms around Kaylee’s shoulders and was surprised when the girl slumped weakly against her side. “We won’t think that way.”

“How could she do it?” Kaylee asked, her voice muffled.

The only indication that Inara was surprised by the sudden subject change was the moment’s pause before she answered. “I don’t know, sweetie. It’s hard to know what’s going on in River’s mind.”

“He ain’t ever done nothin’ to hurt her.”

“I don’t think she knew what she was doing.”

“She got triggered again, didn’t she? Like on Beaumonde.” Kaylee lifted tear-filled eyes to Inara.

“Yes,” Inara admitted with a sigh. “Mal and Zoe are trying to figure out how, right now.”

“I wanna help her. I wanna – “ Kaylee shook her head, clearly torn about how she should feel about the girl who’d been such a good friend – but who had tried, just a few hours ago, to kill her own brother. “She’s a good girl. I know she didn’t mean what she did.”

Inara smiled at her mei mei. Even with everything that had happened, she still managed to find some goodness in River, still believed there was something that could be done to help the troubled girl. “I know, sweetie, but she’s a danger. That’s why Mal locked her up.”

“She wanted to see ‘im.”

Inara pursed her lips, wishing that Kaylee hadn’t heard that rather impassioned plea.

“Mal doesn’t think that’s a good idea.”

Kaylee’s eyes lit with hope and she curled her fingers around Inara’s arm. “She’s smart, maybe she knows what to do.”

“Sweetie, you need to rest. I’ll sit here with Simon and come get you the moment he wakes up.” Inara hoped that mentioning Simon would distract Kaylee and was relieved when it did.

Kaylee hesitated for a few minutes before Inara gave her a little shove toward the door.

“You’ll come –“ She cast a mournful look over her shoulder at Simon.

“Yes, now go.”

~*~

Kaylee was lost in thought, her eyes downcast, as she slowly moved toward the bunk she’d just started sharing with Simon. When she stepped over the threshold, she stopped, her eyes darting around the dimly lit room.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she trembled and wrapped her arms around herself. She leaned back against the wall as her gaze fell on the bed, the blankets, sheets all covered in blood. Her shoulder ached more than a little, despite the pain medicine she’d taken for it.

The blood-stained blade of the knife lay glittering in the low light and a sob slipped from Kaylee’s lips as she remembered the flash of that silver blade as it descended to end Simon’s life. The moment replayed before Kaylee’s eyes as she squeezed them shut and shook her head, desperately trying to stem the neverending onslaught of painful images.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she slid down the wall, pulling her knees to her chest. She’d been so strong since it all happened, putting on a brave front, doing what she needed to do. But sitting in this room and looking at all the blood brought a flood of unwanted memories and Kaylee couldn’t help but sob at the horrific direction their lives had taken in one short night.

She simply stared at the far wall, her gaze occasionally flickering to the bed, wondering if their lives would ever be normal again.

~*~

“Convince her to get some sleep?”

Inara lifted weary eyes to Zoe as the woman walked into the Infirmary to look down at Simon.

“She wasn’t happy about it, but I think she’s so tired and so stressed that she’ll fall asleep as soon as her body relaxes a bit.”

“You should get some rest as well.”

Her eyes returned to Simon’s pale face. “I promised Kaylee I’d –“

“I can watch him,” Zoe offered but Inara shook her head.

“I – he’s badly hurt.”

Zoe checked the bandages, touched her fingers to his cold neck and wrist and looked at his vitals beeping on the monitor against the far wall. “He ain’t healthy, that’s for sure.”

“Will he make it?”

“Seen people hurt this bad in the war and they survived.” Zoe didn’t know what else do to other than to make sure her patient was warm and as comfortable as possible.

“They had medical care.”

“Not all of ‘em.”

“I’m fine, Zoe, really.”

Zoe nodded silently and left the room, wishing there was more she could do.

~*~

With an urgency Kaylee had never displayed, she pushed herself to her feet and frantically ripped every sheet and blanket off the bed, balling them up and throwing them into a corner. Her chest heaving, she marched into the galley, grabbed a bowl of hot water and a rag, saying nothing as Jayne watched from his perch on the counter where he intently guarded the storage room.

When she returned to Simon’s room, Kaylee fell to her knees and scrubbed with voracious ferocity at the blood stains, working to get them out so she didn’t have to see them, be reminded of what had happened in this room.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she worked and she began to hum to rid her mind of the sound of Simon’s shocked cries or the sound of the knife as it bit into his bare flesh.

It took hours and by the time she was done, she was exhausted. Her hands and fingers ached, rubbed raw by the frantic repetitive motion against the carpet and the mattress. The wet rag slipped out of her hands as she curled into a ball, clutched Simon’s pillow and fell into a fitful sleep.

~*~

Sometime in the middle of the night, Kaylee awoke, feeling disoriented and bone weary. She lay in the bed, her body trembling from the cold but she didn’t want to get up. She hugged Simon’s pillow to her chest, ignoring the drops of blood that dotted the fabric.

She looked around the room, trying to remember the good times she and Simon had had in this place, but all she could see was the one bad time. It replayed through her mind in a neverending horrific stream and Kaylee scrunched her eyes shut and clutched his pillow tighter, trying to force herself to remember the good days, and even more pleasurable nights.

Kaylee lost herself in those memories for a long while before she pushed herself out of bed and walked out of the room with a determined step.

When she made it to the galley, she looked around the room to find it surprisingly empty. She stared at the closed storage locker and moved toward it, her face an emotionless mask as she punched in the code that would unlock the door.

With a snap and a hiss, the lock retracted and she pulled it open, disappearing inside just as Jayne rounded the corner from where he’d taken a moment to relieve himself.

He scowled at the door and resumed his vigil, not even realizing that there were now two people sitting inside that small room.

~*~

Inara turned sleepy eyes on Zoe, when she returned with Mal at her heels.

“Zoe’s gonna sit with him for a while, you need to go lay down.”

Inara hesitated but one look at Mal’s set jaw and determined face convinced her that this was an argument she would not win.

“I need to tell Kaylee –“

“She was sound asleep when we walked by a few minutes ago,” Mal assured,” You can see her when you’ve gotten a bit a shut eye yourself.”

Inara acquiesced and surrendered her seat to Zoe, who sat down and immediately dropped her hands to Simon’s covered arm.

With a heavy sigh, Inara let Mal lead her out of the infirmary and back to her shuttle.

~*~

“How’d it all go to hell like this?” Mal asked as he sank into the cushions of Inara’s couch. He needed to rest, if just for a few hours. He needed to be thinking with a clear head.

Inara sat slowly beside him and poured some herbal tea. They all needed to relax and this would help – she hoped.

“I don’t know what to do with her.”

Inara remained silent, not wanting her fears to control her response. The uncertainty in his voice and on his face made her heart ache and she knew how much it had taken for him to admit not knowing what to do.

Mal glanced up, his brow furrowing. “You ain’t never so quiet. What’s on your mind?”

Inara tilted her head and dropped her attention back to pouring the tea. “I don’t know what to say, Mal.”

“You ain’t never at a loss for words.”

“There’s a first time for everything.”

“Why’d it have to be now?”

If the situation weren’t so dire, Inara would have laughed at the desperate tone in his voice.

~*~

“You have to help me,” River’s voice was soft, raw, pleading, as she looked at Kaylee sitting on the grating across from her.

“I wanna help ya,” Kaylee answered softly, her eyes searching the younger girl’s for signs of the crazy one who had attacked her brother.

“I need to see him.”

“Cap’n don’t want that.”

“I have to make him understand,” River cried softly, large tears rolling down her cheeks. “Didn’t mean to. Didn’t want to.”

“But ya did,” Kaylee said sadly, chills running down her spine as she remembered the feral look in the girl’s eyes as she plunged the knife into her brother’s body over and over again.

River turned big, imploring, brown eyes on Kaylee. “Please, I can help him.”

Kaylee tried to swallow the nervous excitement that rushed through her body at the implication of River’s words.

“I’m smart. I can help him.” River reached still-shackled hands toward the girl she knew would one day be her sister. “Please.”

“I –“ Kaylee tried to shake her head, knowing that she shouldn’t even be considering this option. As her heart began to overrule her head, she inhaled deeply, and looked into River’s wide, desperate eyes.

“Can’t hurt him anymore,” River lowered her head and sobbed, the sound clenching Kaylee’s heart in a vice-like, immovable grip. “He’ll die before we get to Verbana.”

Kaylee swallowed thickly, that last comment cinching her decision. She couldn’t simply stand by and watch Simon die, not when River was so convinced she would be able to help him. In the back of her mind, Kaylee wondered if she was doing the right thing. But, her heart won over her head and in the few moments it took for Kaylee to unlock River’s cuffs, the eternal good that lived in her heart had to believe that River would not hurt anyone else.

When River launched herself to her feet, Kaylee was taken aback, but the girl grabbed her hand and shoved open the door, bringing Jayne to his feet instantly with Vera pointed at the door.

“Can help him!” River dragged Kaylee through the door as Jayne’s finger tightened on the trigger.

Swearing loudly, Jayne followed the two women, desperately hoping Kaylee would get out of his way so he could put a bullet to that crazy girl’s brainpan before she hurt anyone else.

~*~

“You’re as crazy as she is!” Jayne growled at Kaylee as she moved off to the side of the infirmary, watching River pull open drawers and gather supplies.

“She said she could help, Jayne.”

“Ain’t she done enough helpin’ for one day?” Jayne trained Vera on River as she set a bunch of unidentifiable items on the tray beside the diagnostic chair.

“He’s gonna die, Jayne.”

“Might quicker now that you let the moonbrain loose! I sure as hell ain’t gonna be joinin’ ‘im!”

Kaylee clenched her fists and glared at Jayne. “I couldn’t just sit an’ watch him die! I had ta do somethin’!”

Jayne sneered and glanced at River, still working methodically beside her brother. “One wrong move and I’ll put a round or ten in her brainpan.”

River worked swiftly, inserting needles, fluids and administering carefully measured medications. She affixed the oxygen tank to the back of the diagnostic chair and stretched the clear, thin tube over her brother’s head, helping him to breathe a bit better.

When she stopped and cocked her head at Simon, Jayne tightened his grip on his most precious possession in the ‘Verse and narrowed his eyes.

“Tell me, Simon. What else?” River asked in a soft voice, her face close to his, their cheeks touching.

Jayne exchanged an incredulous look with Kaylee, whose gaze was completely focused on Simon. “She talkin’ to an unconscious man?”

“Can read his thoughts,” River said without turning to look at Jayne. “Know what he wants me to do.”

“Oh, of course,” Jayne rolled his eyes, “because you can –“

River lifted her eyes to his and said in the most serious tone either of them had ever heard. “Hear his thoughts. Yes.”

“Please save him, River,“ Kaylee pleaded, her voice breaking with emotion.

“Wouldn’t be like this if –“

“Jayne!” Kaylee hissed, and both of them missed the slight pause in River’s motion as she reached for another tool.

“I want to be hurt this time! You’re always the one getting hurt!” Simon frowned at his sister.

“That’s because you’re the doctor, silly,” a young River said as she collapsed onto the couch, head lolling to one side as she played dead.

A long moment of silence passed and when River didn’t see or feel him poking at her arms, she opened one eye to find him peering over the couch, staring at her.

“What got you this time?”

“Dinosaur threw me.” She said seriously, as if it had truly happened.

Simon nodded slowly and then rolled his eyes. “Oh, of course.”

“Tossed off one of those nasty Independent’s. Snapped his neck, but then the big beast reared like a horse and off I went. Couldn’t hold on.” River’s imagination ran away with her and she explained, right out of his medical textbook, exactly what injuries she had sustained.

“Well, then,” Simon acquiesced and began to pretend he was her doctor, remembering from what he’d studied most recently, how to treat her imaginary injuries. “I guess we’d better get started.”

“My turn this time, Simon,” River leaned over him again, closing her eyes at that happy childhood memory. “I’ll heal you. I promise.”

“Can ya help ‘em?” Kaylee asked, taking a step forward.

“Am helping him,” River answered as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Am doing as much as I can.” She looked up at Kaylee, her eyes sad. “Not a doctor.”

“Yeah, you had to go an’ nearly kill our only doctor, didn’t ya?” Jayne’s patience was stretched thin, and he didn’t trust this girl as far as he could lift Serenity by its landing gear and toss it.

River’s bottom lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. “Didn’t mean to.” She backed away, shaking her head. “Didn’t know what she was doing. Don’t know what happened. Was getting better. No more dreams.”

Jayne’s eyes narrowed with suspicion at River’s description of herself and he reached out and closed his hand around Kaylee’s wrist. “No.”

Kaylee glanced back at Jayne, wondering what was wrong, but River continued to murmur loud enough to distract her from whatever question she was going to ask.

“They talked to me, told me it was all a lie. Told me –“ River glanced down at her unconscious brother. “Told me it was all wrong.”

“Who spoke to you?” Kaylee asked, confused.

River shook her head, her breathing deepening to the point where they could hear it. “I was bad. Wrong. I failed. They were right.” She looked at Jayne, her eyes narrowed to tiny slits.

“Get behind me,” Jayne pushed Kaylee out of the way and tightened his grip on Vera. He tried to repeat those safe words over and over in his mind but his tongue just stumbled over the foreign phrase. Damnit all. If he’d wanted schooling, he’d have gone to school. And Jayne knew River could sense those thoughts.

“Jayne –“ Kaylee shook her head but addressed River instead.

He felt the subtle shift in River’s demeanor, the tension sizzling in the air between the two warriors.

“You go get Mal an’ Zoe,” Jayne said without blinking, locking his gaze with River.

As much as he wanted to consider himself the predator here, he knew by the look in her eyes, and very vivid memories of what she’d done to a room full of Reavers, that he was most certainly the prey.

“Drowning in blood.” River said as she backed up a step, resting her hand on the metal tray beside the chair. “I see it, everything they did, to me, to them,” her eyes clouded and she cocked her head as if listening to some invisible instructor.

Kaylee stood rooted in place, watching this change come over River in an instant. She stood in the middle of a room; her hands sore, her fingers sprained, blood dotting her skin. Bodies lay at her feet, her hair tangled and falling in damp strings around her face.

“Very good, River.”

“Did I pass?” The girl asked eagerly.

“Oh yes,” The instructor cooed, clasping his hands together.

“I don’t like to fail. They don’t like it when she fails.” She glanced over at the two way window, knowing they were behind it, watching her, evaluating her.

A moan drew River’s hard gaze to the vicinity of her feet.

“You failed,” came a booming voice piped in from the speakers overhead.

“No,” River whispered. They didn’t like it when she failed. They punished her when she failed.

“He’s still alive.”

River swiveled her head down as one of the boys lying at her feet glanced up at her. When their eyes locked, River tensed, feeling rage burn through her blood.

“You were supposed to die the first time,” she grit out through clenched teeth and moved with lightning speed toward the boy.

“Kaylee get back!” Jayne shoved Kaylee against the wall and tensed as River launched herself at him with a feral growl.

A well-placed kicked knocked Vera from Jayne’s grasp, as the girl spun herself out of the movement and delivered a very painful stab to his side, stealing his breath as the scalpel cut an easy path into his skin.

Jayne glanced down as he saw crimson spreading across his shirt, then up at River, who smiled madly at the blood coating the scalpel in her hand.

“River no!” Kaylee screamed, but anger fueled River’s balletic movements now.

Nothing, no one, was going to stop her from completing her mission. She had failed once and she’d been punished for it. She would not fail again. She lunged toward Jayne, murderous intent in her cloudy brown eyes, but he caught her arms and squeezed, trying to get her to drop her weapon.

She twisted out of his grip, her small frame slipping easily from his large hands and whirled on him, the sharp implement slicing across his chest neatly, drawing yet more blood.

Kaylee pounded her fist against the comm. unit on the wall and cried into it for help before a roundhouse kick connected with her side and sent her sailing to the floor, knocking the breath from her lungs.

“Kaylee get outta here!” Jayne growled as he clamped a large paw around River’s upper arm and yanked her around to face him.

River twisted but could not get him to release her arm and so delivered an open palmed punch to his solar plexus, instantly knocking the breath out of him.

But Jayne refused to release her arm and twisted it until River hissed in pain, falling to her knees.

But she was there only a moment when her knee connected with his groin and he shouted loud and long at the pain that traveled through that rather sensitive area. In his anger and as a last ditch effort to save his life, Jayne put all of his weight behind one last movement and shoved River head first toward the wall.

Mal and Zoe reached the infirmary at the same time, the former hearing the commotion from where he lay with Inara in her shuttle, the latter returning from a few minutes of checking their course heading on the bridge. The safe word spilled from both their lips as River collapsed to the floor, the scalpel falling out of her hand as she was rendered unconscious.

Kaylee ran to Jayne as he lay on the floor, her eyes filled with tears. “Jayne?”

“Git away from me, gorramit!” Jayne heaved large gasps of air into his lungs as he tried to wipe the tears of pain from the corner of his eyes.

“What the hell happened here?” Mal asked as he and Zoe raised their guns at River.

“Damn moonbrain tried to kill me!” Jayne growled as he pushed himself to his feet with a pained grunt and pulled Vera into his arms.

“She ain’t gonna make that mistake again!” He aimed the gun and depressed the trigger, amidst Kaylee’s screams, and Mal and Zoe’s cries to stand down.

TBC

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COMMENTS

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 6:14 AM

WANMEI


Uh oh.

Angsty as hell. I hope to God Jayne's aim is off and he shoots himself in the foot or somesuch. Honestly.

In any case, great first few chapters. I can't wait to see what happens. Keep it up!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 6:35 AM

MANICGIRAFFE


I hate to say it, but Jayne's got the right idea. This isn't a bad guy you can reason or bargain with, and it's obvious the trigger is still going. She can beat up Jayne; she can out-shoot Mal and Zoe. Dead is safer.

Question: Was River truly "sane" and sorry for what she did, or was it just a manipulation to get Kaylee to let her out? She knows Mal and Zoe have a trump card against her, so I could see her being devious enough to play on sympathy.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 6:47 AM

TAMSIBLING


Still loving this, although the angst is about to kill me dead ... Kaylee's pain and need to help Simon are palpable.

I also love the interspersal of River's memories from childhood, painting such a vivid picture of her and Simon's relationship, which just makes it more painful.

Here's hoping Jayne lost too much blood and his aim is off ... keep it up, Angst Master!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:27 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


graciously welcomed pain-free unconsciousness
~mmmmm, sweet unconsciousness

“She’s a good girl. I know she didn’t mean what she did.”
~Kaylee is such a kind-spirited soul, and you definitely write that aspect of her well

Kaylee going into the room with River was a very cool step for her to take.

The uncertainty in his voice and on his face made her heart ache and she knew how much it had taken for him to admit not knowing what to do.
~You know some bad shit is happening when Mal admits aloud that he doesn't know what to do.

I really really like that Kaylee let River out to help Simon, hopefully it won't come around to bite her in the ass (though knowing you, it will). Whe I first read it, I thought River grabbed Kaylee as if taking her hostage, but I re-read it and it makes more sense.

I think you need something (italics, more of a page break, etc) to distinguish the dream, it was a little confounding upon first read through. Same with the memory of the Academy.

Jayne growled as he clamped a large maw around River’s upper arm
~I always thought a maw was a mouth

“She ain’t gonna make that mistake again!” He aimed the gun and depressed the trigger, amidst Kaylee’s screams, and Mal and Zoe’s cries to stand down.
~HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE you for this. :P

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 8:42 AM

MAL4PREZ


Ahhh - another great one with even more tension!

I love Kaylee taking things in her own hands and letting River out. Go Kaylee! If only she remembered that safe word. (General question: would it be enough for Simon to think the safe word? hmmm)

I really believe River meant to help - cause she did, right? Until she went batsh*t crazy again. But I wonder how she got triggered in this chapter...

Bring on the next! Who'd the bullet hit? Who could it be??

As long as it ain't Mal, I'm OK. :)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 8:58 AM

LEIASKY


>Was River truly "sane" and sorry for what she did, or was it just a manipulation to get Kaylee to let her out?

That has been left up to the reader to decide. :)

>I think you need something (italics, more of a page break, etc) to distinguish the dream,

You were hallucinating, dear. They were there :P

>But I wonder how she got triggered in this chapter...

Just because she was knocked out in Chapter 1 doesn't mean whatever triggered her is gone . . .

>Bring on the next! Who'd the bullet hit? Who could it be??

Heh. You'll find out in the final chapter. . .

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 4:03 PM

SPACEFULLOFOBJECTS


Very good. The drama in this is very riviting and you are writing it very well. Voice of the BDH's is right on.

Mal felt the temperature drop several notches as a chill ran down his spine. He knew it was a very real possibility that Simon wouldn’t live long enough to get him to a hospital with the capability to treat his injuries. But the pain and heartache on Kaylee’s face now gave Mal the strength put a small smile on his face and lie to his mei mei*great description here of this.

“He looked so scared, ‘Nara.” Kaylee’s voice cracked and with difficulty she tore her eyes from his face and looked into her friend’s eyes. “He was really scared. I ain’t never seen him like that before.” *perfect Kaylee voice of concern, you write her very well, especially in her more deperate moments.

It replayed through her mind in a neverending horrific stream and Kaylee scrunched her eyes shut and clutched his pillow tighter, trying to force herself to remember the good days, and even more pleasurable nights. *I can see her there in the room doing this, haveing tried to clean up the mess, and purge the images from her mind at the same time.

“Can’t hurt him anymore,” River lowered her head and sobbed, the sound clenching Kaylee’s heart in a vice-like, immovable grip. “He’ll die before we get to Verbana.” *I like River's change here, her concern to try to undo what she had done, and the fact that she knows she has to do this.

“Ain’t she done enough helpin’ for one day?” Jayne trained Vera on River as she set a bunch of unidentifiable items on the tray beside the diagnostic chair.*perfect Jayne here, you wrote him well.

“Tell me, Simon. What else?” River asked in a soft voice, her face close to his, their cheeks touching. *I had a feeling this was coming and you came through...great concept!

He tried to repeat those safe words over and over in his mind but his tongue just stumbled over the foreign phrase. Damnit all. If he’d wanted schooling, he’d have gone to school. *I promise, I did not read this til tonight! But it was right on, Jayne fumbling for the "safe words"

But she was there only a moment when her knee connected with his groin and he shouted loud and long at the pain that traveled through that rather sensitive area. *Again, poor Jayne, gets beat up by a girl.

Good place to move to the next part Leiasky. Will be waiting patiently to read it.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:05 PM

KAYNARA


ooh, this was a good one. i love mal going to inara for comfort/advice--very true to their relationship. i also love jayne protecting kaylee right to the end. crush or not, she's special to him. ;) flashback to playing doctor was very lovely and well-placed. maybe next chapter we can see a flashback of simon's? perhaps he's dreaming of his sister the way she used to be.

also, i'm wondering if the blue hands (or whoever is calling the shots) have some specific reason for wanting simon dead....

Friday, August 18, 2006 8:44 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


OH SHIT! NO! Come on! You can't just leave it like that! That's just friggin' cruel!

Definitely loving this series, if only cuz it's dealing with a topic I don't think any Browncoat wants to be thinking on: River's continued vulnerability from residual trigger phrases and memories. Maybe the best result is that River dies (even if by her own hand later) cuz I doubt the triggers could be removed:(

BEB

Friday, August 18, 2006 8:50 PM

BLACKBEANIE


Whoa!

Friday, October 13, 2006 5:59 PM

LEIGHKOHL


Oh my goodness! SO much in this chapter! First off let me comment on how much I love your Zoe voice! She is just perfect in this and my fav line-
“He ain’t healthy, that’s for sure.”
Great line!
Loved the call back to the Ariel ep in the first chapter and Jayne not being able to remember the safe words-
Damnit all. If he’d wanted schooling, he’d have gone to school.
Oh and Jayne shooting RIver! I am so glad I can read this all in one shot! Off to the next chapter!

Saturday, October 21, 2006 12:27 PM

BIGBADJAYNE


OH, GORRAM!!!

Why does she always kick Jayne's ass
why not ever Mal's?...just once....
(sobs pitifully)...please? LOL!

As always great writing Leia! on to the finish!


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YOUR OPTIONS

OTHER FANFICS BY AUTHOR

Threesome
Simon and Kaylee discuss other - avenues, as they lay in bed. Oddly, this is a pretty PG story.

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Simon and kaylee disturb the ship with their nocturnal activities. Post BDM. Part of a challenge table. Rated NC-17 for adult content.

Broken Wings: Conclusion (Repost)
The crew take Kaylee home to be buried and the reason for Simon's secrecy is discovered. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 18 (Repost)
Simon, Mal and Jayne have a moment with Kaylee. Inara and River are reunited with the rest of the crew. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 17 (Repost)
Simon has a conversation with Zoe, Mal and Jayne - separately. Sequel to 'On the Edge.' Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 16 (Repost)
The crew is reunited - mostly, as Simon arrives to treat the wounded. River rushes to Inara's aid before her deception is discovered. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 15 (Repost)
Simon's escape is halted by his father. But River comes to the rescue. Jayne - sees the light - far too up close and personal for his safety. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 14 (Repost)
Simon and Inara's deception is discovered. Mal, Jayne and Zoe continue to fight what looks to be a losing battle. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 13 (Repost)
Simon has some unexpected help with his fussy son and River receives another assignment. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.

Broken Wings: Chapter 12 (Repost)
Inara and Simon continue their work while a message gets out to those on the front lines. Sequel to 'On the Edge'. Cannon pairings.