BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - DRAMA

LEIASKY

Remembrance
Monday, July 31, 2006

Kaylee returns to Serenity amidst memories of her time with Simon. S/K. Sequel to 'Never Alone'.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1082    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

I couldn't get this story out of my head and so needed to continue it. I promise fun, less angsty, stuff will be coming up soon.

I'm really unfamiliar with how a nearly four and a half year old would sound so if something sounds off here, for those who actually have kids around this age, let me know so I can change it!

WARNING: Character Death Fic

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Title: Remembrance

Rating: PG

Synopsis: Kaylee returns to Serenity amidst memories of her time with Simon.

Notes: Sequel to ‘Never Alone’. This story takes place 5 years after that one.

Disclaimer: This story is not meant to infringe on the copyright of any person or company related to the trademarked characters and situations depicted in the Serenity movie or Firefly series. I make no money from this. Only done for fun – and a desperate craving to have more stories told about this wonderful ‘verse Joss Whedon created.

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Sequel to Never Alone. Read Part 1 and Part 2 first.

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Remembrance

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– The Present –

As soon as the ramp hit the dust covered ground, Kaylee and her son bounded down it and into her parents arms. She gave them strong, tearful hugs, let them dote for a moment on her son, and then took her little boy’s hand and quietly made her way to the place they had come each year since his birth.

When they reached the well-tended garden, Kaylee bent and plucked a few flowers from the outside gate before entering. She handed one to her son as they walked in and placed them at the base of the tombstone.

This place never ceased to draw tears from her eyes and today was no exception. It was the first full year they’d been gone. Not coming to this memorial every day. Not being reminded of what she had lost.

Kaylee crossed her legs and sat on the grass, staring at the stone that marked her husband’s final resting place. She pulled her son into her arms and held him tight as they both sat in silence for a moment before Kaylee began to talk as if Simon was standing right there in front of her.

“Well, we came back to visit, sweetie. Just like I said we would.”

The little boy squirmed in Kaylee’s arms as he clutched a little toy but remained otherwise quiet.

Kaylee smiled down at her son and then turned a tear-filled gaze at the tombstone. “Andrew’s gettin’ bigger all the time. Looks more an more like you too. Everyone says so.”

At the sound of his name, the boy leaned back in Kaylee’s arms and turned wide blue eyes on her. Kaylee smiled and ruffled his dark hair. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ about you.” She kissed his forehead before directing her attention back to the name etched on the sun-bleached stone.

“We miss ya somethin’ fierce, Simon.”

~*~

– The Past –

“You sure, lil’ Kaylee?” Mal said, his eyes hopeful for the first time in three years. He’d tried over that time to get her to come back, but Inara had insisted there be no pressure. When, if, she was ready to come back, she would. “Not that I won’t be glad to get rid of that jing chang mei yong de mechanic we done picked up to replace you. We’ll be happy to have ya back. If’in you’re sure?”

“Yeah, Cap, I am. We’re ready.”

Mal’s heart felt lighter than it had in years. He couldn’t wait to tell Inara, and River. It would be good to have their family together again. With an inward sigh he effectively hid, he mused that the family would still be minus one, but there was nothing he could do about that. “We’ll swing by to pick ya up as soon as we finish this job.”

Kaylee nodded and despite the excited look in her eyes and the smile on her face, Mal knew that the last few years had been rough. His Kaylee had changed in the time she’d been gone, and while Mal knew she’d needed to heal, and they’d given her the space to do so, the reminder of Simon would be with her always in the miniature version of him that was her son.

“We’ll be ready, Cap.”

Mal leaned forward to flip off the screen and smiled at her one last time. “We’ve missed you mei mei.”

Kaylee heaved a huge sigh, her smile wavering just a bit. “Yeah, me too.”

The screen went dark and Kaylee bent to scoop up her son. “Well baby, we’re goin’ back. Gonna be hard for a bit, but we can do it.”

“Where we going?” The little boy asked.

Kaylee kissed his pale cheek and took a deep breath. “We’re goin’ home, baby. Where I met your daddy. Where your Aunt River lives. Home.”

Andrew glanced around the room, unable to truly understand.

“This is my momma’s home, baby. Not mine. Not really. We gotta say goodbye.”

“Bye mama?”

“Yeah, baby, bye.”

Her bottom lip trembled as her little boy turned his daddy’s eyes on her and smiled.

~*~

– The Present –

“River says its just payback for all the hell she used to give you.” Kaylee giggled as she recounted the story. She kept an eye on her son as he played not too far away with a few toys they’d brought from the ship. “He’s so good when we’re here. But he’s been here so much when he was a baby that he knows it’s important.”

Kaylee smiled lovingly at her son and resisted the urge to pull him into her arms and hug him tight. “But when he’s back on Serenity, oh, he’s a little demon.”

“’Nara says it’s good for River.” Kaylee giggled as she remembered the exasperated looks the younger girl had given her the first few months on board. “She’s real patient though. She misses ya too. Dotes on Andrew almost as much as me. Thinks I don’t see the looks she gives him after she’s scolded him for somethin’ he shouldn’tve done.”

Kaylee continued to tell Simon what had happened over the last year and as she came to the end of her stories, the sun was just beginning to set beyond the horizon, casting the clouds in an orangey hue. Andrew was nearly asleep in her arms and Kaylee hadn’t noticed the tears that had snaked down her cheeks until she reached up to rub her eyes.

“I wish –“ Kaylee shook her head, derailing that train of thought. It wasn’t healthy for her to dwell on the past. “Don’t do no good to wish on what can’t be.”

“No, but we can remember what was,” River said as she walked quietly into the garden and placed her own hand-picked wildflowers at the base of the marker. She laid her cheek against the warm stone and closed her eyes, feeling her brother’s presence. “I miss you, ge ge.” A few tears leaked down her cheeks but she quickly wiped them away before she turned toward Kaylee.

She sat beside Kaylee and touched the slumbering boy’s head.

“Wish Simon’d met him.” Kayee’s voice caught in a sob and she turned away from River, embarrassed after so many years to be brought to tears so quickly. “He didn’t even know –“

“He did,” River interjected, her eyes holding unshed tears of their own.

“What?” Kaylee turned astonished eyes on her sister.

“He knew about the baby. Just didn’t have a chance to tell you.”

Kaylee blinked as she tried to process this information. “How – why? “ She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

River smiled sadly. “Had your physical that morning. He’d just finished the tests when –“ River swallowed thickly and continued. “When everyone got back from the job.”

Kaylee closed her eyes and sobbed. “Is that why he –“

River took Kaylee’s hands and implored, “He knew he wanted to marry you someday. When he could give you more than what our life on Serenity could. Don’t ever think it was only because of Andrew that he asked so soon.”

~*~

– The Past –

“Want to examine me today, huh?” Kaylee rolled over and propped her chin on his chest.

“I think I should, you know, and not just because we’ve started –“ He trailed off, glancing down at her bare shoulders.

Kaylee squirmed up his equally bare body and planted a quick kiss on his mouth. “Wanna be sure I don’t give ya somethin’?”

Simon shook his head to quickly dispel any reason for her to get upset with him. “No. That’s not it at all. Everyone should have a physical once a year and I think you’re probably far overdue.”

A small shiver raced down her spine. “You’re already gettin’ physical with me, Simon.”

He laughed and rolled her over, pinning her beneath him. “This will be a medical exam, not sex.”

Kaylee pouted and he couldn’t resist leaning forward to kiss off her lips. “We’ve got a few hours before they return from the job. It’s a perfect time to complete the exam.”

“Then we can come back here an you can examine me some more?” her eyes held that hopeful, energetic gleam that he hoped he would see for the rest of his life.

“Yes, I promise.”

~*~

– The Present –

The memories are as clear to her as if the events had happened yesterday.

“Mama?” The little boy asked, looking up at Kaylee as she sat staring at the tombstone.

Kaylee tore her eyes from the stone and smiled warily at her son. “Yes, baby?”

“Why do you cry so much?”

Kaylee sobbed and wiped at her eyes before opening her mouth to answer his question.

“You cry a lot when we’re here.”

“It’s ‘cause I miss your daddy so much, baby.”

“Why?”

Kaylee tried to smile at his relentless inquisitive nature but she only managed a weak one instead.

“’Cause I loved him very much.”

“An you miss him?”

Kaylee nodded and hugged him to her chest. “Yes, I miss him so much.”

The boy touched his mother’s face for a moment before turning to the stone marker. “Wish I known him too.”

“He’d have loved you so much, baby.” Kaylee ruffled his hair and smiled despite her tears. “You look so much like ‘em. We got some captures though, so you’ll always remember. An we got lotsa stories.”

This got a smile from him and Kaylee’s heart thudded in her chest as she remembered the few times she’d seen an unabashed, genuine smile on Simon’s face. “Aun’ River likes to tell ‘tories.”

“It’s how we can remember your daddy, baby. “

~*~

– The Past –

As the ramp lowered, Kaylee’s heart leapt into her throat. Sadness and excitement flowed through her as the crew came into view, all waiting at the top of the ramp, all waiting for her.

Her son’s chubby arms tightened around her neck and his eyes widened when River bounded off the ship and embraced them so tightly Kaylee couldn’t remember why she had wanted to be parted from her family so long in the first place. Kaylee relinquished her baby to his aunt as the girl pressed little kisses to his cheeks and tickled him, making him giggle and quickly assuring that the little boy felt included in all the excitement.

Inara hugged Kaylee tightly, tears of joy rolling down unblemished skin. “I’ve missed you so much, mei mei.”

Mal stood behind Inara and when Kaylee looked up at him, she launched herself into his arms as if she hadn’t seen them since they’d left her here all those years ago. She had, but only a few times and they had been too few and far between. “It’s good to see you, lil’ Kaylee.”

“Glad ya came, Cap.” Kaylee’s voice was muffled as she hugged him tightly. “Thanks for takin’ us back.”

Mal shook his head stubbornly, his heart swelling with love and gratitude for whatever God had given him this second chance. “You’re always welcome, you know that.”

Even though Kaylee had not truly blamed him for Simon’s death, he had blamed himself, and it took a long time for him to accept that he’d had no more blame than anyone else.

Behind them, the baby squealed as he tugged on River’s long hair.

Mal grinned and ruffled the boy’s dark hair. “You’re gettin’ mighty big there, little tyke.”

“You know,” River said seriously, a hint of a smile on her face. “Your father used to do this to me when I was being particularly annoying.” She drew her finger along his pale cheek, her face betraying her suddenly solemn mood. “You look just like him, you know. I’ve got captures to prove it.”

The boy didn’t pay attention to River’s words, simply tugged on her hair until Kaylee turned and swept her son into her arms. “Now baby be good.” The boy reached out his arms to his aunt, upset that his toy had been taken away.

Mal pulled Kaylee, and by default, Andrew, into a gigantic hug and Kaylee sank against him.

“It’s good to be home, Cap.” Her voice was muffled but they could hear it all the same.

“It’s good to have you back, mei mei,” Mal whispered, a smile twitching the ends of his lips as he met Inara’s eyes over his mechanic’s shoulder.

Andrew squealed and squirmed and Mal released Kaylee, thinking perhaps he’d done something to hurt the boy. Would figure that he’d be as delicate as his daddy, Mal surmised with a quiet huff.

River shot him a glare and reached out her finger to the boy who was trying desperately to get out of his mother’s arms and into hers. “He remembers us even though we’ve been gone for so long,” River said as she flattened her hand on Andrew’s back. “He’s got a good memory. He’ll remember everything.” River’s eyes met Kaylee’s and an understanding passed between them. “Everything.”

Kaylee nodded and held back a sob when River held up a capture of her and Simon on the day she left for the Academy. Andrew’s eyes widened and he reached for the capture, recognizing the face of the man staring back at him. Even though he had never met his father, the boy had been surrounded by his mom’s images of the man, had been told stories and given endless descriptions.

Andrew Simon Tam would grow up with as many memories of his father as the crew of Serenity could provide – and then some.

END

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Chinese Translation:

Jing chang mei yong de - consistently useless

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Liked it? Hated it? Leave a comment and let me know. I don't bite. Hard. :)

COMMENTS

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:08 PM

KAYNARA


"She kissed his forehead before directing her attention back to the name etched on the sun-bleached stone."

aw this is sad and sweet. i think andrew's voice may be a little too young for four, but I can picture him so vividly. and i like the image of mal hugging kaylee and tousling the boy's hair. in a way, he had a fatherly/older brother attitude toward simon, and i can see him playing that same role for the son.

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:50 PM

GOBLUEGUY


Though you killed my favorite character, I've really enjoyed this series. I think that you've done a great job, very in character, with the aftermath of such a tragedy. Keep up the great work.

PS when are we going to see more "Book of Days" I'm still waiting for violent retribution :)

Tuesday, August 1, 2006 4:11 AM

TAMSIBLING


You know how much this fic has affected me ... and it's still true - I find the story so immensely sad, but dead on for these characters. I can't even imagine how Kaylee kept going, although I'm guessing her little mini-Simon helped to ease the pain a bit.

This was written with such care and concern for all the characters and with a great amount of truth to the 'verse. Thanks for always sharing your interpretation with us ... It's shiny!

And I will second GBG (just because I know it'll annoy you), but I want more BoD!!! :o)

Tuesday, August 1, 2006 4:52 AM

LEIGHKOHL


Aww I love what you have added since the last time I wrote this! It's just like Kaynara said, sad and sweet! YOu feel Kaylee's loss but the support she finds from her "family" is just great! I love this story, even though you killed Simon *sniff*! Can't wait to read your next post!

Tuesday, August 1, 2006 5:28 AM

LEIGHKOHL


LOL SO sorry!-
>Leighkohl Tuesday, August 01, 2006 - 04:52
Aww I love what you have added since the last time I wrote this!<

Read this I meant! It's really early!!!! I'm an idiot!

Great Story!

Tuesday, August 1, 2006 7:03 PM

RUBBERDUCK


Wow, thats some damn sure powerful stuff.

Wow...

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 7:50 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Definitely some amazing stuff, Leiasky:D

Really lovely that you had Simon aware of Andrew's presence before his death. I think too often when situations like Zoe getting a child by Wash, one of the big issues surrounding the plot point is Wash never knew and will never know. It happens in RL and its sad...but I really like what you did here:)

BEB

Thursday, August 3, 2006 2:36 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


get rid of that jing chang mei yong de mechanic
-Sounds like Bester might have gotten his old job back ;)

The boy reached out his arms to his aunt, upset that his toy had been taken away.
-LOL @ River as a baby toy

I think you got the 4.5 year old's voice down well, as well as his actions throughout the various stages of his life.

As several others did, I will *poke* you for more Book of Days. I wrote you some smut that was supposed to get you back on track with that. :)

Thursday, August 3, 2006 2:52 AM

BLACKBEANIE


*Tear*

Thursday, August 3, 2006 4:52 AM

LEIASKY


>As several others did, I will *poke* you for more Book of Days. I wrote you some smut that was supposed to get you back on track with that. :)

What? Tired of my sad, angsty stuff? Well, the end of my series won't be all tea and crumpets now either.

I'm working on it as my muse strikes. But I'm not posting anything until its done. I've got two more stories left to finish and maybe an epilogue, depending on how generous I'm feeling :)

Thursday, August 3, 2006 5:26 AM

SPACEFULLOFOBJECTS


Lots of emotion Leiasky.

The mark of a truely gifted writer. Good job at this.

And the style...I've said it before I like this past - present style you've chosen. It works very well in this.

In this whole series you've captured Kaylee in despair in a way that we've not seen in the BDS or BDM. Yet, its real and believable. What a talent you have in doing that.

No tea and crumpets? Thats okay cause this is good stuff.

Looking forward to more.


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