Inara sighed as she and Mal continued their argument, that had been going on for the past twenty minutes. This was just so infuriating! How could he be so thick? She spoke up again, rapidly losing her patience. "Mal, you can't control her life. Kaylee is of age, and has been for years. And, whats so wrong with Simon? He likes her well enough, and she certainly likes him." "'Nara, can't ya see that I'm tryin' ta protect her? If Simon has ta go, then I don't wanna see her hurt by his an' River's leavin'! There can be nothin' but hurt comin' from her and Simon gettin' together! 'Sides, you know I ain't ever been a fan a shipboard relationships." "She's a big girl, and can make her own decisions. Besides, nothing might happen, if he is as stupid as hes been for the past few months!" Inara felt color rising in her cheeks, despite how she tried to calm herself. Mal was startin' to wonder if this had gone beyond just Kaylee and Simon. "Inara, I don't wanna see nobody get hurt. Nobody." Inara felt the tears spring to her eyes, unbidden, and she tried to hold them back. Like she had so many times before. "Well, your hurting a lot of people, Mal. Including yourself." She turned away. Mal lurched out and grabbed her shoulder. "Inara, wait-" Inara shook him off. "This conversation is over, Mal." I am, a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard, a handful of complaints, but I can't help the fact that everyone can see there scars. I am, what I want you to want, what I want you to feel, but its like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real. So I, let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do. Face away, and pretend that I'm not, but I'll be here, cuz your all that I got... Inara started to walk away, turning from him, and all he was. Like so many times before, she was walking away from her problems. He knew he wasn't perfect, but he was the best when it came to what she needed. But, if she walked away, there was a chance she would not, could not, come back to him. Desperation guided his hand; his mind had no say in the matter. He grabbed Inara by the shoulder, and spun her around. And, without thinking, only doing, he kissed her. I CAN'T FEEL, the way I did before, don't turn your back on me, I WON'T BE IGNORED!!! TIME WON'T HEAL, this damage anymore, don't turn your back on me, I WON'T BE IGNORED!!! Inara closed her eyes and relaxed into the kiss. It lasted for an eternity, and it lasted far shorter than she had hoped. And, when she opened her eyes, Mal was looking at her, eyes pleading, wanting, needing, the thing that only she could give to him. Only she could make him whole once again. No. She would not ruin another life. Not again. Not after... him. Inara took a step back, and then another. Confusion crossed Mal's gaze, then hurt. But she was saving him. From her. She turned around, turning away from this man whom she loved too much to love. And, then, Inara Serra started to run. *** Simon watched Kaylee as she slept, wondering how he could tell her. Should he? Could he take that huge risk? He didn't even know if he was going to be staying on Serenity at all, what with River getting worse by the day. Could he risk being with her if he didn't know if he was going to stay onboard? Would she allow it? He didn't really know. I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident, but you don't understand, I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense... Suddenly, Kaylee started to stir. He realized that he was still in his old clothes from yesterday. He got up, and walked into his closet, grabbed some new clothes, and went into his bathroom to change. *** Kaylee stretched languidly, taking in the scent of Simon's bed, which smelled so uniquely... well, Simon. She took another few moments, then got up from the bed, not bothering to stifle a huge yawn that escaped from her lips. She looked around, and found herself alone, yet again. She was suddenly struck by a rather mischevous idea. Since Simon wasn't here... she would play a trick on him when he came back. She would scare him right good! SHe cast about for a good hiding place, and saw the bathroom door, the lights off and the door slightly ajar. Still wearing a mischevous grin, she opened the door- -To find a half-naked Simon, standing there, almost about to pull on his shirt, and Kaylee caught an eyeful of his lithe body as he pulled it down over his head. When it came down totally to his neck, he opened his closed eyes, and saw Kaylee. They both jumped. Kaylee went to the practical solution of staying silent and finding a good answer. Simon, however, went directly into his old standby: babbling and stuttering like a moonbrain, which always led to all matter of not-goodness. "Uh, um, Kaylee! Uh, hi, um, uh... lao pan huo i-chen chi lih!" He managed to close his mouth before anything else slipped out. Kaylee, however, wouldn't care much anyhow. Simon had just complimented! That was the first time he had EVER done that... while he was sober, anyway. In response, her mouth gapped a bit as she looked at him in disbelief. Then, she spoke delightedly. "Oh, Simon! I can't believe it! You finally managed to not be so bad at talkin' ta me! Thats gotta be a first... while ya ain't drunk, that is." Simon groaned. "Are you ever going to let me live that down?" She smiled brightly. "Nope!!!" She took his hand. "C'mon, lets sit, and, y'know, talk!" In the excitement, she had forgotten that a compliment didn't mean devotion. But, luckily, she wouldn't have to worry on that... They sat down, and, suddenly, SImon took her hands in his. "Kaylee, wait... I... I wanted to know... about us, and...well, I just wanted to know, and... me and River, we may not be able to stay on Serenity, and I was wondering what you thought about that, and... and... and..." his words petered out, and his shoulders slumped. Kaylee smiled at him, taking up the thread of speech that he had left off. "Simon, I know what you mean. And, I know that Serenity may not be the best place for River, but that don't matter. Out here, in the black, there ain't no room for waitin': you want somethin', you gotta go for it. Somethings just can't wait." I am, what you never want to say, but I never had a doubt, and its like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, for once just to hear me out! Simon looked at her for a moment, then smiled in relief. "Thank you," he said softly, but with an undercurrent of sadness. Kaylee frowned prettily at him, then had another mischevous idea. Her hand creeped toward the head of the bed as she said, "Oh, c'mon, Simon, cheer up! Ya know what ya gotta do? You gotta-" she smacked him upside the head with the flat of the pillow, sending him forward. "-Loosen up!!!" She started to laugh, only to be met by a facefull of fluffy pillow. Simon grinned as he hefted it again, sending it at her, feinting left, then striking her on the right. Kaylee responded witha barrage of blows at him, which he blocked almost effortlessly. He then countered, striking her thrice in the face and chest. Kaylee rolled back, laying on the bed, throwing the pillow away and putting her hands up, utterly defeated. "Alrigh', alrigh', you win! Gee, how'd ya learn to do alla that?" He grinned. "River. She made a point of sneak attacking me whenever she felt like it. I learned how to fend her off early on. Some skills don't go away." Kaylee let her hands snake down, and one made its way upwards, toward the pillow that was left. "Oh no you don't!" Simon threw aside his pillow, and sprang on her, pinning her hands to the bed with his. She was panting, and struggled a bit, but soon gave up. She smiled coyly up at him. "Alright, Simon, you really win this time!" He smiled down at her, and, suddenly, he kissed her. For a long, longwhile, they didn't breath, and just got lost in the kiss. And when he pulled away, she slipped her arms out from his grasp. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down so that she couldkiss him again. From the comm., Jayne's voice rang out at them. "Simon, Kaylee, its dinner time, so, y'know, get up here. Ow!" Apparently, River was up there with him, and didn't like that he had interupted them. Simon groaned in disbelief, and dragged himself off Kaylee. She followed him out, clutching his hand in hers. *** Mal pounded on the door, trying to get Inara to unlock it for him. "Inara, gorramit, speak ta me! What'd I do now?" From inside, Inara's voice came, almost etheral. "NO! Mal, there is nothing to discuss! Now, please, leave! I'm fine, just leave me alone!" NOOOOOO!!!! HEAR ME OUT KNOW!!! YOUR GONNA LISTEN TO ME, like it or not, RIGHT NOW!!!!! "Damnit, Inara, why are you doing this? Speak to me! Please... I wanna jhelp you..." those last words were spoken softly, almost whispered. From inside, Inara's voice came, thick with despair. "Mal... Mal, there are just some things that I can't tell you. Maybe not ever." "But, I can HELP, I can-" "No, Mal, you can't. I won't let you. And, I've come to a decision. I'm... I'm leaving. Soon. I don't know to where, or how... but I kno wthat I can't stay here. Not now." "But... Kaylee! She's havin' all these nightmares, and she needs your help!" It was the only valid point he could make right now, as his mind had just evaporated around those words: 'I'm leaving.' Calmly, Inara said, "Kaylee will be fine. She has Simon now. He'll help her. Mal... I can't stay. Not anymore. There are just some things that I can never tell. Anyone. I'm sorry." Mal slumped against the wall, defeated. Nothing he could do or say would stop her now. Mal cradled his head in his hands, as his world shattered around him once again, for the second time in six years.