You may have noticed that I've finally gotten around to naming this series of stories. I really did it for one reason, so that people could more easily tell (when they click on my name in the Blue Sun Room)what stories are part of a series and what are just stand alones.

There are two stories left in this arc. As of right now, they both have one chapter. But, I've got some additional scenes that need to be worked into the next one before I post it, so that may push the page count into two chapters.

As always, thanks for sticking with this series even though the topic may be a painful one. As much as I love writing fluffy, no plot romance/smut, it does get tiring, and so with this series I found a way to balance my desire for drama and fluff.

The fluff will be back. I've already got 5 short/funny/romantic pieces waiting for when this story arc is completed.

I find myself repeating this all the time, but it's necessary. For any new readers just stumbling on this chapter of the series, I do urge you to go back and read from the beginning, and pay attention to the warnings given at the beginning of some chapters.

If the topic is going to upset you, why in the hell are you reading it? Stop, do not pass go, do not collect - I digress.

As always, I do love constructive criticism so please comment on what you do or do not like, and if something seems 'off' or incorrect to you, tell me why you think so. I may or may not agree.

I've rambled long enough, sorry this piece is so short but - it's an epilogue! The next one will be longer, I promise:)

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Shattered - Epilogue

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It took over a week to reach Paquin and stress throughout the ship during that time was at an all time high. There was no laughter, no teasing, no one even tried to diffuse the tension with humor.

River confined herself to the bridge and her quarters, not bothering to come to the galley for mealtime. Jayne found himself spending a lot of time with the troubled girl mostly because he didn’t know what else to do with himself other than beat the hell out of his punching bag. And his fists were starting to have an aversion to being bruised. He brought her food, even if she didn’t eat much of it. He didn’t understand much of what she said, but it seemed to calm her that he was there to at least listen to her say it.

She knew she was hiding from her brother. But there was no other way. Not right now. He needed time. Time to help Kaylee. To be with her. Time to work through his anger. There would be a time when they could talk, but not until Kaylee and Inara had left Serenity. And Mal. If he didn’t know about her secrets by now, he would soon. River didn’t know which confrontation she dreaded the most.

Zoe spent most of her time with the Captain planning their move against Niska. Badger had come through and they would be running a job as soon as they dropped off the women. She only hoped that anger didn’t cloud Mal’s judgment in deciding which path to Niska they would take, or none of them would make it back to Paquin alive. So far, they’d not heard from any of their other contacts. No one knew how to reach Niska. Only Badger had replied with a job he’d promised was nearly next door to the crime lord’s complex. Zoe was tense and anxious for payback.

When he was not with Kaylee, Simon involved himself in the planning. He needed to keep his mind occupied and they welcomed his opinion – which was as cautious as their own where it came to trusting Badger. He’d sold them out once. No doubt he would do it again.

Simon tried to spend as much time with Kaylee as possible. But he was powerless to do anything but simply offer his support to his distraught wife. She cried when she saw him and when he tried to touch and hold her she simply lay there, cradling her swollen belly, saying virtually nothing even when he directly addressed her. Her vacant expression told him she was still in a state of shock and that made him feel even more helpless. He knew she had to go, to get help. Help that he had not the training to provide. But it still hurt. Hurt more than he was comfortable admitting that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, turn to him.

Simon just simply sat and watched over her. To give support should she need or want it. He sadly watched her cradle her stomach as if protecting the life within from a dangerous predator. It had taken him a long while to come to grips with the knowledge that the baby wasn’t his. He wanted desperately to do a test but he didn’t have the right equipment. A prenatal test at this stage could harm the baby or cause a miscarriage anyway. It would have to wait until the baby was born or until they reached a facility capable of performing such a test with minimal risk. And even then he would prefer to wait until after the baby was born. He’d thought about not wanting to know. Knowing would change his perception of the innocent life. He came to the conclusion one night that he didn’t truly want to know.

If the child wasn’t his, as Kaylee had painfully insisted, it was only because a vile circumstance had prevented it. He would love Kaylee’s child as his own regardless. There was no reason for him to blame the baby. It was an innocent life that would be shaped by the people around it, learn to love and laugh and even fight and yell. He wanted to be the one to help shape its future, its life. It didn’t matter that the little one didn’t have his blood. It had Kaylee’s and that was all that mattered.

He’d tried to tell Kaylee, to make her understand, but she only cried whenever he spoke of it, utterly heartbroken and distraught that the little one she had carried for all of these months had not been put there by the man she loved. He knew the stress was unhealthy for the baby but he couldn’t find a way to alleviate it. His presence only seemed to hurt Kaylee, and that made him even angrier.

Now, they were on the verge of parting, perhaps forever. Simon had no delusions that they may not return from their quest to find Niska. But they had to try. Not one of them was willing to let this go.

Simon wanted to hold and kiss his wife, assure her repeatedly that he wanted to raise their baby – together. They’d had days, but it didn’t seem long enough for him to say everything he wanted to say.

“We can get through this, ai ren,” Simon knelt beside the bed, his voice low, soothing, as his hand gently touched her hair. “Please let me help you.”

“Can’t do nothin’, Simon. We just gotta go.” Kaylee’s voice was hoarse, from crying, from yelling, from screaming. She sounded beaten, broken, and it twisted his heart so tightly tears pricked his eyes. But it was the first time she’d spoken more than a few words at a time and it gave him some measure of hope that with the right amount of counseling and time, she would heal – they all would.

All too soon, though, Serenity arrived on Paquin. It hadn’t been enough time. Not for Simon. He wanted to say so much more. But he had really said all there was to say. She needed to go. She needed to get the help. And God willing, he would return to help her recover.

They were waiting silently, servants from the training house. At the shuttle door, Inara handed them the things she had packed and they went on their way.

Kaylee couldn’t meet Simon’s eyes as she stood, hands still cradled protectively around her belly. She sniffled when Simon’s hand covered hers, trying to assure her that he would be there for her, and for her baby, that he loved her and always would. She was upset about him leaving to go after Niska and he knew it. She’d heard every explanation he had given her and while she understood, she didn’t approve. But now, the time had come for them to part and all she wanted to do was yell and scream at him. She just didn’t have the energy to argue with him. Not now. She didn’t want their parting words to be ones of anger.

When Simon leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, Kaylee closed her eyes and sobbed against him. He could feel the salty tears trail into her mouth and he bit back his own sob as he cradled her in his arms. For the first time since she had remembered the attack, he could feel her relax into his embrace and cling to him as if he was her lifeline.

“I love you,” he whispered when they parted. He flattened his hands around her belly. “And I love our baby, too.”

“Please come back to me.” Her voice was barely audible, pleading as she met his eyes. Her body trembled with fear and he pulled her again into his arms, trying to sweep away that fear with a simple, yet vitally important gesture.

“I will. I promise.” Simon said, kissing her again and inhaling the scent of her hair, of her skin. Burning it into his memory.

“Promise again,” Kaylee insisted, her voice whispering against his ear.

Simon took her head between his hands and stared into her eyes. “I will come back to you.”

Kaylee knew they were just words, that he really had no way to keep that promise. But it gave her some measure of comfort to her to hear him say them anyway.

With a forlorn look, he kissed her again as Inara moved forward to assist the mechanic. Her next words were so low, he nearly missed them, “I love you, Simon.”

Inara led Kaylee to a House counselor and the woman wrapped an arm around the girl and led her away from the ship, her family. Kaylee turned her head, wanting all of a sudden to burn the image of her husband into her mind. Tears slipped down her cheeks and her heart pounded so hard in her chest, she felt faint. She stumbled and the counselor held her steady as they continued to walk away from the life Kaylee had thought she would never, ever, willingly leave.

Mal wrapped his arms around an equally teary Inara, hugging and kissing her as she prepared to depart. They’d argued all week about his plans to find and kill Niska. And she, too, knew that this was possibly the last time she would ever see Mal again. But when the time came, she clung to him, desperately wishing he would not go. Her eyes pleaded but he simply pressed his fingers to her lips.

“You know we have to do this,” he said gently.

“It doesn’t mean I have to like it,” came her quick retort. She hated it. Hated that he’d made this foolish decision that everyone seemed to accept without question. But deep down, she knew. This was one of many punishments to come. This was a result of her desperate attempt to control the lives around her – to keep Kaylee’s secret – regardless if she thought she had done it for the right reason. In the long run, it had ripped them all apart. She didn’t want Mal to go, to make the same mistakes. She shook her head and tried to speak but he kissed her, hard, deeply, and she could think then of nothing else but burning the smell, the taste of him into her mind.

When they parted, she placed his hands on her stomach. “I love you, you arrogant ass. You’d better be here to see your baby born.”

He shot her a lopsided grin. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“I’ll kill you if you do,” she whispered. And then, she was gone, escorted by an elegantly dressed member of the Training House. Gone.

River hid in the shadows, tears snaking down her cheeks. There was no one to comfort her in her grief. Kaylee and Inara’s nearly stole away her breath. Zoe and Mal exhibited a much more controlled anger but it was there, bubbling just beneath the surface. Her brother’s pain and anguish nearly overwhelmed her, taking her heart and shattering it into tiny little pieces. Jayne, compared to everyone else, was a peaceful respite from the myriad of uncontrolled emotions assailing her thin, battered, body.

They would need to talk, need to clear the air. Simon needed to understand why she did what she did. It would come soon. She wouldn’t have long to work it out with Simon, but she would, even though it would be painful. And Mal, she trembled at the vehemence and the anger that would pour off him when they spoke.

“Mal!” Jayne hurled himself through the doorway and onto the catwalk drawing everyone’s attention. “Got a lead from Sanchez. Get up here!”

Mal met Simon’s eyes and the two bounded up the staircase, determined to locate and end the life of the man who had caused them, and countless others, so much pain. And if they could get to Niska without having to go through Badger, all the better. That little weasel could be ignored – for now.

END

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Chinese Translations:

Ai ren – sweetheart

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Coming next: The best laid plans don't always work out the way you hoped.