I Just Don't Know...
Friday, March 25, 2011

I'm tired of me. That's pretty much the gist of it. My life has fallen into complete crap. And, before you all rain down the "oh, it could be much worse", I know it can, but if it were I'd prolly be dead. Dramatic enough for you yet? Welcome to my life! lol. Really, I know that things aren't as bad as it could be, it's just hard going through life when you're utterly unhappy. I've always thought of those that were just "fed up with life", that it's not so bad, but now I understand. I took for granted the life that I had and now it's in pieces. Again, dramatic, I know. I just feel like I've lost myself. Even though things weren't great, I had this... spark, I guess. Now it just seems gone. I just want some life back, anything. I miss some (not all, mind you) of what I used to be. Who knew a few months could change a person so drastically. Why am I writhing this here and not in some blog? Yeeeeeah, I really have no clue... Hello, remember? Lost here! Heh.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011 10:07 AM


Sometimes I have to ponder on stuff ,a couple of years ago I had a bit of a setback(shrug)big ,anyhow was very lost and angry ,mostly with myself and it was suggested to me to look at myself in the mirror and just say"your alright and things are gonna get better"I was at a loose end and to be honest thought it was a bit stupid but I was at my wits end so I gave it a try.Today I'm grand,sometimes I get lazy but Im ok with me:)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 8:49 AM


Basically, the reason that you've been happy in the past is because the person you are, then and now, is not bad. Life may change around you, or maybe you doubt yourself, or you're disappointed. But it's not so much what happens to you, or what you do that matters. Living is what matters, however that means to you.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 7:55 AM


Hey. I don't know exactly what you're going through, nor can I claim to, but I've at least experienced before what you call losing the spark.

And when you're there, nothing is good anymore. You can't care about anything you used to think was fun, and the things you used to tell yourself in dark times all ring hollow. Sometimes you look back at the way you were, happy, maybe, even though right at the moment you wonder how you could ever have been happy, and you resent that person you used to be. Sometimes you can trace it back to a cause, a loss, some stress, sometimes not, sometimes it's something you can fix, sometimes you can't. Maybe you can't even imagine how things could be better from now.

All I could do in those times was look to my goals, or find them, or find new ones. Keep working. Keep writing. Keep living. Keep telling myself there's always better options than walking off into the snowy mountains in the dead of winter.

And if the rug gets pulled out from you, all you can try to do is turn it into a positive. Well, I didn't like that job or those hours anyway, maybe I can do something part time instead. Well, they didn't love me, maybe I can still find someone who does. Don't focus on what it means, about you or anyone, because bad things happen to everyone and it doesn't mean anything, doesn't change anything. You're still you, and don't give that up. The world will keep on turning, and what you have to do is get up every day and do your best to face it. That's all anyone can do.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 7:47 AM


I've always thought the quote "Hell is a place your mind takes you to when your life has turned on you" to be very apt.
I wish I could help or do more to improve things. I do know how you feel. All I can say is it WILL get better. It won't be this way forever. You hang on and your miracle will come.

Monday, March 28, 2011 4:36 AM



My God girl! Don’t be so hard on yourself. We love ya! All the members here at are family. Extended family maybe, but we share. We share thoughts and things that we don’t even share with family. Even immediate family sometime.

I can’t say that you shouldn’t be feeling the way you are feeling now….because we are far apart and you really don’t know me, or I you. I do believe in kinship……and we are kin.

Our love of some things that we enjoy the same has linked us together.

Whatever is on your platter, overflowing though it may seem…..stay to the course girl. Things will get better, trust me.

You have a lot of people worried here…and that translates to love and caring. Stay strong like the person I know you are. Your browncoat family.

ZZetta13 & Bruce Pluto ( 1 and the same)

Saturday, March 26, 2011 5:36 PM


ugh. I don't know if this will help you or not...but I've been there. (Problem is--I was there for several years. YEARS. I just felt dead). Knowing THAT may not be helpful, but I've come out of it...betting you will too.

Eventually. ;p

Time. It's a biatch, but give it a chance. Hopefully it will take you less time than me.

Find a new philosophy. And just go for it. The plus side is, in this state, what do you have to lose, right? It's a kind of freedom...if you take it.

Saturday, March 26, 2011 10:57 AM


Ditto to everything Whimsicalnbrainpan said.
All I can say is it makes me sad to hear that you are so unhappy and I really hope things get better for you because you deserve to be happy. *hugs*

Friday, March 25, 2011 6:45 PM



Friday, March 25, 2011 6:06 PM


I can't say it any better than whim *hugs tight* but know that we're all here for you. <3 always here for you, and this will get better.

Friday, March 25, 2011 3:11 PM


I can't give you any advice that your gonna hear right now,time is the thing but that'll come,we all have faith in you and as NewOldBrownCoat sed,we got your back.Take care of yourself.

Friday, March 25, 2011 2:53 PM


Why do any of us do silly, or fun things? I think we're tryin' to bring back a little of what we had in childhood. But as we grow, we know we cant be like that all the time. You may experiance some of what you have lost, or even just relive a fond moment, but we must keep moving. Things never stay the same forever.

Hope you find your spark again.

Friday, March 25, 2011 8:08 AM


You're writing this here because we're fellow Browncoats. We're on your side. We got your back.

Wish I had some concrete advice-- Play with a kitten or puppy. Take a walk outdoors, in a park or somewhere beautiful.

And if in doubt, ask yourself WWMRD? What would Malcolm Reynolds do? Go annoy some bowler hatted pissant, play a psychotic joke on a doctor, insult a companion, stop in for a tiny pink drink at a strange bar.

This too shall pass...

Friday, March 25, 2011 7:50 AM


Not dramatic at all, just real. What you used to be is gone and you will not get it back. What you will find when the dust settles is a stronger, wiser you. Unfortunately it is the crap that life throws at us that shows us who we really are, and what we are made of. Let yourself be lost for a while. Mourn what you had. At some point you'll find you have the strength to move on. Until then let your friends carry you. You didn't ask for any of this, and I hate that you are hurting so badly.

Remember that lost in the woods was the only place that Mal could see a clear path. I hope in time you'll find that the same is true for you.


Friday, March 25, 2011 6:35 AM


We all get lost.
Or do we?

Do you have your chains?
Do they hold you back and each step you make is a never ending fight?
Are you strong enough to continue this fight against whole world?
Against your destiny?

Will you find light in destruction?
Will you find peace in chaos?
Who holds the keys you need to lose your chains?
Who is master of your life?

Can you know?

There were times I thought I knew my master.
I knew where he kept all the keys.
But now I’ve forgot and lost myself.

Does it mean I was not strong enough?
Or does it mean I have finally torn free from my chains?


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