Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Driving away from a mysterious run-down victorian style home with a treacherous history, my compatriots inform me that they discovered, and opened, a strange book during our investigations.

I bury my face in my hands. "Please tell me you haven't released the oldest vampire circle in America."

"Don't be silly," says our driver, "there's no such thing as vampires." One jumps onto the hood of our car. "Look! A historical reenactor in period style costume!"

I climb out the window of our car, and commence with the ass kicking.

My dreams are awesome. Except I'm still crazy and the people around me are still blind. But the win-lose ratio is better.


Thursday, August 12, 2010 7:05 AM


I can't remember specifically what I dreamed about last night anymore, but it wasn't vampires.

Take a breath, world, you're safe.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 8:00 AM


I'll post the results up here,should be a great fight. If you don't hear from me, people might want to start studying up on Freddy Krueger or something.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 7:30 AM


You escaped last time, but you must sleep again. Your subconscious is good for more vanpires. They will be vengeful.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 7:15 AM


Some of my coworkers asked me if I was going vampire hunting a couple hours ago. Cue blank stare until they pointed out I was carrying around wooden stakes.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010 7:14 AM


Stuffed garlic in its mouth then decapitation. Via well placed billboard.

I woke up before the rest could find me, so... Chew on that, fangheads. Can't find me, nyah nyah.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 6:41 AM


What was the coup de grace? Stake? Fire? Laser? And how can you be sure that the vampire's ass is truly kicked? Perhaps you only kicked half its ass. And what about the rest of its circle? Aren't you concerned about them? Not to alarm you, but fighting vampires is hopeless. Its best to join them, as a servant, and hope they don't tire of your groveling.


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