Trailer Park Boys - Firefly Style !!! :D
Wednesday, October 6, 2004

By: Ghoulman

WARNING!!! This thread has bad fuckin' launguage. If you are too fuckin' young for that then fuck off!

EXT: MORNING in TRAILER PARK. Wash sits in his doorless old "Go se" car. Mal, ever present glass of rum in hand, approches.

Mal: Wash! What the fuck?

Wash (wakes up): Fuck. FUCK! What?

EXT: Suddenly! Young boys come running up and smash pop bottles into Washes car!

Wash: Fuck off! Fuckin' bottle kids! I'll cut your fuckin' throats!!!

Mal (like nothing happened): Where's my weed shipment?

Wash: Fuck off! I gave it to Jayne and Book to deliver to the new Park Manager.

Mal: What? No Wash, you were supposed to fuckin' take it yourself. Jane and Book will just smoke it all themselves. Fuck Wash... what were you thinking?

Wash: If they smoke my best bud I'll fuckin'...

Zoe (Out of site - Yelling from trailer): WAAASSHH! Where are you? You didn't pass out in that fuckin' car again did you? (mumbles) Fuckin' looser.

Wash & MAl: Fuck! Let's bail!

EXT: Both get into the rusted black painted car and race away to another corner of the trailer park. They get out at Rivers' shed.

River (played by a young girl with giant coke bottle glasses): Two by two... hands of blue... G'day baiz! What the fuck!? Heh heh. See my new kitty?

Kitty: Meow.

Mal: That's great River, have you seen Jayne and Book?

Wash: Fuck River, you got cable hooked up!

River: Fuckin' right boys, gots da Sci-Fi channel. I loves dat! 'specially stoned.

Wash: Well, no ones gettin' stoned if we don't find Jayne and Book because they got all our fuckin' weed!

River: Fuck. That's not good boys.

Mal: Come on.

EXT: Mal leads River and Wash to another trailer. Mal knocks and immediately a beautiful woman appears... in spike heels and leopard skin.

Inara: Wooo... hi Mal. Haven't seen you in a while.

Mal: Stop being such a fuckin' slut! We're just looking for Jayne and Book, they got the weed and if we don't...

Inara: Well, I haven't seen them and, oh, if I had, I sure as FUCK wouldn't tell you, FUCKHEAD!

EXT: Inara slams her metal screen door. It pops open and she has to do it again. It still doesn't close properly and she must force it closed. Mal, Wash, and River look on.

Inara: Well fuck off. I haven't seen 'em.

EXT: As they walk down from the trailor deck they can see Jayne and Book, carrying a duffle bag, walking down the road... stoned as chinese sailors.

EXT: Jayne & Book (singing): I don't care! I'm still freeeee... YOU can't take the weed from meeeeee...

Wash: Hey! Hey you dumb fucks where's the fuckin' weed!

Mal: Stop screaming!

EXT: Jane and Book approch causiously.

Wash: Smokes.

EXT: Jane and book immediately give Wash one smoke each. Wash lites one, puts the other behind his right ear.

Mal (sips rum): OK, let's not get excited. I'm sure Jayne and Book know exactly what happened to the weed.

Jayne: The what?

Wash: The fuckin' weed you fuckin' retard! The weed you were supposed to get to the new Park Supervisor so he wouldn't rat on us!!!

Book: Oh, well he wasn't there. And considering what we were delivering... I think it's best we were a little late.

Wash (Smacks Book on the head like slapping a child): Shut the fuck up.

Mal: OK, let's get the car and go there right now. Give me the weed.

EXT: Jayne hands over the duffle bag. Everyone crawls into the ugly black and rusted Ford.

Eventually, through the smoke (both kinds) the trailer park boys arrive at the trailer of the new Park Supervisor.

FOX CEO: Hellooo shit fuckers.

MAl, Wash, River, Jayne, Book (together): Oh fuck!

EXT: Everyone pulls out thier guns...



Wednesday, October 6, 2004 9:53 AM


I couldn't stop laughing Ghoulman - you've aggravated my cough! . Funny as hell. That theme tune *cough* isn't the same now.
The imagery was *cough* twisted but it was really funny. ...*cough*Great twist in the *cough*tale too. Fg cough!

I want more please!

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 9:24 AM


That made me laugh so hard! So unexpected! Last time that happened was the first time I saw Midnight Run with Deniro and Grodin. All the vehement use of the great word "fuck."

These kind of things just tickle me. I'm really normal about everything else! Honest!

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 5:50 AM


Ghoulman, you have one twisted - and very funny - sense of humor!


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2004 October