Some thoughts on "The Crush"
Thursday, September 17, 2009

I actually wrote this fic in response to a request on "Serenity Santa" last year on Live Journal and to see if I could write anything beyond young Mal. The requestor was heavily in to Mal/River and I had no idea if I could write it without going into NC-17 territory.

I've never written NC-17before and really didn't want to do it with Mal/River.(I'm attempting an NC-17 fic in another fandom by doing a POV fic of one part of a canon couple. It's a scene that's both very tender and erotic. It's very difficult to get beyond the who put what where and focus on the emotions.)

I'd always wondered how uncomfortable River could make Mal if she developed a crush on him. Of course, Mal's going to think about acting on his thoughts,and be very uneasy with the feelings River brings out. But of course, he won't act on them with River.


Sunday, September 20, 2009 7:29 AM


The thought of Mal doing what was suggested at night… with thoughts of River, really took me out of your little fic. It lost its romantic appeal. I guess because I too thought it was a fun scenario.

And, I dunno, Joss never portrayed or wrote Mal blatantly lusting after Inara while looking at her vid, in his bunk.
He brilliantly was able to establish Mal’s feelings for her with that little scene and what was missing from his life, while she was gone, in a matter of a few seconds. The viewers got it, that’s all that was needed.

I would have preferred you showing that Mal actually had feelings for River, beyond lustful thoughts night after night. And of course, she would need to be completely healed, better, independent, not crew, older…hmm…not River by a mile, for him to act on them.

And at River’s age those types of thoughts tend to manifest in more romantic notions, like the little fairytale scene in Better Days, she has.

Saturday, September 19, 2009 8:06 PM


Well, it's probably obvious that I have a little bit of trouble with River in pairings, but right up to Mal in his bunk at night, I thought your new story was pretty amusing. So really, don't let anyone get you down. I'm glad to hear you've beat one bug and got your writer's bug back. Good luck on the house!

Saturday, September 19, 2009 6:34 PM



I got very discouraged writing. I kept comparing myself to all the awesome authors around the BSR and I felt I really came up lacking. Add to that a really difficult personal time lately. Moving in April and not really finishing until a few weeks ago, trying to sell my Mom's house (the sale just fell though so it's back to square one), work pressures and just plain writer's block.

I went to Dragon Con and hung around with the awesome folks from KidsNeedtoRead which included the executive director, Denise Gary and PJ Haarsam. And also went to the Browncoat:Redemption trailer release and I got reinspired.

I also did a story in another fandom (True Blood) and that seemed to get the creative juices flowing. If you're interested in reading it, here's a link

I've also been home the past week with the flu under home isolation since it might have been H1N1. The test in the Dr's office was inconclusive but I felt horrible. Gives you lots of time to play around.

I am better now and go back to work on Monday....

Saturday, September 19, 2009 6:04 PM


Oh, BTW, that fic you just wrote, does that mean your health has gotten better? The blog a few months back said your health was declining, and so you couldn't write anymore. You're better? Doing okay?

Saturday, September 19, 2009 3:53 PM


Is "vulnerable" really something Mal considers attractive? Even with Saffron, he only started to give in AFTER she assured him that she could 'stand on her own using the strength he taught her.'

But, NC, you might be able to take Jane's suggestion and make it work, if that's something you want to do.

Saturday, September 19, 2009 1:43 PM


But of course, he won't act on them with River.

I'm so glad to hear you say that and I completely agree.

By the way, I just read your True Blood fic and loved it:) that scene is so gripping!
I’ll try to comment over there.

Saturday, September 19, 2009 6:33 AM


This isn't a 'ship I tend to 'see', despite Slumming's excellent series about Mal/River, but that doesn't mean I don't read them. And you're quite right - Mal wouldn't ever act on his own feelings. But then, as Slumming says, maybe a few years down the road, when she's not a teenager anymore, but a beautiful young woman in her twenties ... I'd love to see you write that. Perhaps being thrown together on a job, and he can't help but see how much she's grown up, yet there's still that vulnerability that he wants to protect ... only now there's something else too. Please?

Thursday, September 17, 2009 7:30 PM


Don't worry 'bour it, NC, you just wrote something for the Mal/River fans to squee over. Everyone needs some squee. :)

Thursday, September 17, 2009 7:26 PM


It's more perceived relationships and the result of varying degrees of

Depends on how much you feel or see it with the crew.

Also a question of whether River could ever truly be cured (I know, Joss says, but her amygdala was cut on), and whether, if she is NOT cured, whether she can truly ever be responsible for her own decisions. Especially something as monumental as a relationship.


Thursday, September 17, 2009 6:56 PM


Yep, you're right Bitemite. She'd know. *trying to figure a way outa this and can't*

Thursday, September 17, 2009 6:29 PM


Fair enough. To each his/her own, I say. But what about further down the road? You know, when she's not still seventeen...time moving in a mostly linear-type fashion and all? Despite the obvious misgivings of several folks here, as you know I've always thought that Mal and River's personalities meshed well in a way that Mal and Inara's just..didn't. And while seventeen IS too young for a woman to..ahem...become involved with a much older man, logically speaking, she won't be seventeen forever. I'm just saying, is all..... :)

Thursday, September 17, 2009 5:27 PM



No offense or nothin', but, bit of a fly in the ointment. River's a reader. He as good as DID act on the feelings/urges River brought out.

Anyhoo, Mal/River fans rejoice. *wave*


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