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leedavidt

brownquotes "war stories"
Thursday, January 15, 2009

War Stories
[Book quotes fictional warrior-poet and psychotic dictator Shan Yu to Simon.]
Book: He said, "Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals… speak on every subject… then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man."
Simon: What if you don't live by a volcano?
Book: I suspect he was being poetical.
. . .
Book: You're moon-lighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No. But, I am thinking of growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.
. . .
Book: A government is a body of people; usually, notably ungoverned.
Simon: Now you're quoting the Captain.

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[River and Kaylee are running recklessly through the cargo bay.]
Mal: [to Inara] Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots... [to River and Kaylee] SHUT UP!
. . .
Mal: One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up!

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[Kaylee triumphantly holds up the apple she wrested from River.]
Kaylee: No power in the 'verse… can stop me.

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[Wash and Zoe are arguing about the extent to which Zoe follows Mal's orders.]
Zoe: Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?
Wash: You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lamby-toes.
...
Zoe: I thought your plan was too risky. I thought.
Wash: Then tell me. I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it.
Zoe: That's right. Because what this marriage needs is one more shouting match.
Wash: No, what this marriage needs is one less husband. Right now it's kind of crowded.

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River: Played with Kaylee. The sun came out, and… I walked on my feet, and… heard with my ears. I ate the bits. The bits did stay down. And I work. I… function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away! The sun… goes dark, and chaos is come again. Bits… fluids! What am I?
Simon: You... are my beautiful sister.
[River and Simon hug]
River: I threw up on your bed.
Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.

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[Repeated line, when Jayne spots Inara with her female client.]
Jayne: I'll be in my bunk.

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[Wash has sabotaged Serenity's shuttle to prevent Zoe from leaving with Mal.]
Mal: Okay. I'm lost... I'm angry... and, um, I'm armed.

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Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before. [Pauses] Well, I was in a fire once. [Pauses] Actually, I was fired from a fry cook opportunity...I can handle myself.

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[Wash and Mal are blindfolded in Niska's torture chamber.]
Wash: Mal, she's my wife!
Mal: Huh?
Wash: What right do you have to put her in a dangerous situation like this?
Mal: I didn't!
Wash: You did!
Mal: She ain't here, Wash!
Wash: Yeah, but she would have been!
...
Wash: I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey.
Mal: You- [amused] Obey? She swore to obey?
Wash: Well, no, not- but that's my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!
...
Mal: You're making out like Zoe just blindly follows my every word, and that ain't true.
Wash: Sure it is.
Mal: Not so. There have been plenty of orders of mine she didn't obey.
Wash: Name one!
Mal: She married you!

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[Zoe, Book, and Jayne come across the corpses of the men Mal and Wash were dealing with.]
Book: This is precision work. Sharpshooters. From the look of these wounds I'd say a 54-R sniper rifle. Laser sights.
Jayne: You do a lot of shootin' there at the abbey, Shepherd?
Book: Rabbits.

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[Zoe discusses the merit of buying Mal and Wash's freedom]
Zoe: Niska has his own code, twisted as it may be. Very excited about reputation. He'll see reason.
Inara: Reason? He's a gangster. The money he paid you for that other job was already returned to him.
Jayne: Could be he's harboring some resentment at us for putting his man through our engine.

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Wash: This whole Captain thing isn't Zoe's trouble. It's the-guy-she-never-slept-with thing. Hell, Mal, I wish you had slept with her. Then at least she'd be over it.
Mal: Oh, you want me to sleep with her? Would that make you feel better?
Wash: It might.
Mal: Oh, I'd imagine it would do wonders for her, too.
Wash: Screw you!
Mal: Get in line.

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[Zoe offers Niska a substantial sum of money in exchange for Mal and Wash.]
Niska: I think it is not enough. Not enough for two. But sufficient, perhaps for one. Ah, you now have--
Zoe: [points at Wash.] Him.
[Niska looks non-plussed.]
Zoe: I'm sorry. You were going to ask me to choose, right? Did you want to finish?

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[Book pulls out a rifle.]
Book: This should do.
Zoe: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

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(Niska and his henchman are distracted by the alarms going off)
Mal: Listen, if you're expecting company, I can come back later.

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[After River kills three men with single gunshots without looking, she turns to Kaylee, grinning.]
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.

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[Mal, while fighting the torturer who once revived him when his body gave out.]
Mal: Haven't you killed me enough for one day?

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[Zoe, Wash, and Jayne come across Mal's struggle with his tormentor. Jayne raises his pistol, but Zoe stops him.]
Zoe: Jayne. This is something the Captain has to do for himself.
Mal: No! No it's not!
Zoe: Oh.
[They open fire, killing the torturer.]

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Mal: So. I hear you all took up arms in that little piece of action back there. How you farin' with that, Doctor?
Simon: I don't know. I, uh, I never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I'm fairly certain you haven't shot anyone yet.

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[Mal has explained Wash's desire to have the captain and Zoë sleep together to resolve "burning sexual tension".]
Zoe: I understand. We have no choice. [deadpan] Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: [walking in.] Well, somethin' about that is just downright unsettlin'.
...
Jayne: Hey. Free soup.

COMMENTS

Thursday, January 15, 2009 10:05 AM

ANGELLEMARCS


Good...good.


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