Countdown to the "I Do" : 2 Weeks Left
Friday, September 10, 2004

Okay, I feel the need to blog. I need some sort of platform from which to share these next two weeks of anticipation, aprehension and a lot of stress. On September 24 at 6:30 in the evening, I will watch my bride-to-be come walking down the aisle to become my wife. Now that thought brings all sorts of good feelings while at the same time making my think "just what in the hell am I doing?"

I've had some commitment issues for a long while (revealing time here, folks) due to my heart being very viciously broken in the past by a girl that I thought loved me. Now don't get me wrong; I love my fiance, and I'm looking forward to the "Do you Aaron take Nicole...", but it took me a long time to get to the point where I could open up again without having to constantly fear that I would get my heart stomped on again. Hell, I broke up with her twice, not because I stopped loving her or because she stopped loving me, but because I was afraid of getting close to someone again. She took me back both times, though, and somehow restored my faith in that not everyone is out to ruin my life.

She's good for me, and good to me. Better than I'm worthy of, believe me. So for now, I'll deal with the jitters and put together more furniture in our apartment (typical male here: before any other furniture was in the apartment, I had the entertainment center built with the TV all hooked up and working). If anyone has any advice for me these next 2 weeks, PLEASE GIVE IT!!

This is Soul, signing off.

Until next time, folks.


Tuesday, September 14, 2004 5:26 AM


It's unfortunate that intuition and paranoia live in the same house. Fear and doubt can be useful in the moment as protection however emotions are generally unreliable when making long term descisions. Imagine setting your household economic policy based on the principle of "I'm hungry". The same problem applies when we make relationship descisions when we are mad or insecure.
Because they make us uncomfortable we notice when problems arise, but we don't notice when they go. As time keeps ticken and we folk all keep changing it is all too easy to notice only the changes we don't like. Examine your feelings, doubt them. You don't have to be honest about how you feel with her as the feelings are not 'the real you', just symptoms of a distracted mind.

I'll quote my biker neighbors (at the risk of sounding outrageously inappropriate)
"Don't sweat the petty shtuff, but remember to pet the sweatty shtuff." I figure anyone who has had a skin graft has gained some wisdom...

Saturday, September 11, 2004 6:11 PM


Here's what I've learned (mostly the hard way) over the past 9.5 years of wedded bliss:

1) Listen when she talks. Really listen.

2) Don't take her for granted.

3) Learn to cook five meals really well, and make one of them for dinner once a week.

4) Do the dishes without having to be asked.

5) Leave her silly notes at random times and in random places.

6) No matter what it takes, never EVER forget your wedding anniversary.

7) The anniversary of when you first met is almost as important as #6.

8) Ditto her birthday. Never forget it.

9) Realize that if you're tempted to stray, it's smarter and more honorable to just go home to your wife.

10) Know that marriage takes hard work, but that it's worth it. Don't get lazy.

Oh, and one piece of advice for the wedding day: Don't let your photographer run the wedding. If he/she can't get all the pictures in a half hour, leave. You can always get more posed pictures some other day, if you really want them. Get to the reception, mingle with all your guests, eat, drink, make merry, and show your new bride the time of her life.

Okay, that was long, but hopefully worth it.


Friday, September 10, 2004 11:21 AM


In my lifetime, I've had the heart-stomping wonder of the ex from heck. I've found that one of the nest ways to fix that problem is exactly how you have. Find a wonderful woman who is forgiving and understanding of all your shortcomes and loves you all the more for it. The hard part is taken care of and out of your hands, really. She loves you (yeah yeah yeah). In your hearts, you are already married, it's just a matter of the pomp anc circumstance. Live it, love it, and don't be afraid of tears, man.

"This is supposed to be a happy ocassion! Let's not bicker about 'oo killed 'oo!"

Friday, September 10, 2004 8:10 AM


Thanks Channy! I like getting a woman's point of view on things. Yeah, Kole (as everyone calls her) is great, and in alot of aspects, I really can't wait for this wedding to be over with.

Friday, September 10, 2004 7:22 AM


Nicole sounds like one hell of a woman. I know nothing about marriage, but I have one or two insights on relationships. I also read an essay recently by Deborah Tannen about male/female communication that I think is relevant. It discussed how women are so much more open when they communicate with their female friends. When they find their male mate, they want to have that same open, face to face, heart to heart communication with him. I know, scary, isn't it?

Tannen's thesis is that men are polar opposites from women in this respect - at least for the most part, there are exceptions to any and all rules. Which is to say it's not that men don't communicate, because they do. They just have a different way of doing it. To men, communication is a simple "hi, how ya doin'," but with women - are you writing this down? - communication is another form of intimacy. There's the important word INTIMACY.

As for this stage of the wedding prep, the next two weeks are going to be harrowing. I've been a maid of honor and a personal attendant for two women who I thought were sensible, rational human beings. Get them this close to their wedding, however, and they both completely wigged out. So if Nicole (God bless her) seems a little snippy this week, take heart. She's not changing her mind, she's just getting a stronger dose of "Bridezilla syndrome" After the wedding she'll turn back into the beautiful, generous woman you fell in love with. Promise.

Meantime, we're here for you man!

Friday, September 10, 2004 6:21 AM


"post some pics of your honeymoon! (esp if you wife to be is hot and looks good in a bikini!!) lol "

Now does that seem right to you? ;-P

Seriously, thanks for the input, and as far as the Okay and Yes, well, let's just say that I'm one step ahead already...

Friday, September 10, 2004 5:42 AM



Two things of advice.
Ok and Yes
ALWAYS USE THESE. The best way to get through the first year to agree with her! Trust me I am mid-way through my second year heading towards three. We just had a baby 6 weeks ago. We had a rough first year, though nothing bad, it was made easier by me relenting. I am known for having a short temper and being stubborn, my wife is also this way. However, you will find common ground at times - sometimes you just say those two words - and still believe something else.

pick and choose your battles. some are worth arguing over, MOST ARE NOT!!!!!!

enjoy the wedding, it will fly by - we had ours video taped, and i do not remember half of what i did - i get a kick out of watching myself at the reception (as i recollect none of it). Take a doggie bag if you have an evening wedding. I was starving at 1 am!!!!

Most of all, just be yourself. You wouldnt have gotten this far if you didnt really think it was time to take a ball and chain. You might as well have fun and look forward to it. I am sure Nicole will be good for you (esp since she took you back 2 times). So no worries bud!

good luck and post some pics of your honeymoon! (esp if you wife to be is hot and looks good in a bikini!!) lol


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