The place i'm in.
Monday, January 21, 2008

Just needed to have a little cry and a write. Comments and Advice wont be ignored....

Everything was getting better.

I am so sick of this twisted circle that my life seems to take. I hate how I can hear my blood pulsing through my veins and I hate that I don’t know what to do with it. I can’t hear myself think, all I hear is your voice inside my head and I’m disgusted by it. How do you know what you say is right? And how dare you teach me to think, act and be free and equal and then force me to bend it to what you want. It hurts and it’s terrifying.

How can words from somebody’s mouth be so soothing and comforting and then out of your mouth they can drain the life and the hope out of me in seconds. I thought I was stronger than this. I feel stronger than this. How much longer will I fight for?

I feel like I’m a child, cowering in a corner. Waiting and needing someone to find me and show me they care. Someone to tell me what’s right from wrong because I’m too young to know the difference. Someone else because I’m not suppose to know how to do it on my own.

You tell me to think for myself but you hate it when I do.

You tell me to figure out what I want but if it’s not what you want for me there is always something wrong with it and because you don’t approve, I’ll find your imaginary fault as well.

You tell me to live while I’m young and then bully me into staying at home because life to you is working and any other time is for resting so that you are able to go to work.

I want so badly to live and be happy and content with nothing that I think it is making me miserable. I’m not you. I can’t be you. I’m only me. Let me be me. Help me be me.


Monday, January 21, 2008 11:07 AM



Monday, January 21, 2008 7:39 AM




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