I'm just venting, read if you want.
Friday, October 26, 2007

I just need to vent and I decided to do it here…

If you’re Australian you probably know this story, but for those who aren’t or don’t--- a few weeks ago a group of kids were playing at a pond and saw a suitcase floating around. They pulled it to shore, opened it and inside was the cut-up body of two-year-old Dean Shillingsworth.

Kids found the body. Children. Most of them twelve or close to it. One goes to my school; the other’s, my old primary (elementary) school. The media, those fucking parasites, tried to get into my current school to interview the kid. The police had to put us in lockdown to keep people going in or out.
I don’t understand why they couldn’t leave these kids alone. They have seen something no child should have to endure, why harass them with questions that are only going to keep the memories fresh in their minds? Though I don’t think it’ll be leaving anytime soon.

The pond was a very common place for kids to play, and that someone would leave a body there chills me. It is less than a five-minute walk from the local primary school. Kids went there everyday to have fun and relax; to be kids.
Now they go there to leave flowers in honor of Dean, or they don’t go there at all.
Great, now I’m crying.

I learned to ride my bike at this pond, after school I would go there with friends to hang out and feed the ducks, I watched over my little sister while she played there, my first excursion (field trip) was to that pond.
For many of us, the pond was a symbol of our youth to be looked back upon with fond memories; now when I think about it I feel sick.

The number one suspect is Dean’s mum, she’s been arrested and everyone's already condemned her.
I don’t know if it was, but I pray the right person is convicted and that they suffer until their last breath.

I had a nightmare the other night, of the mother strangling Dean until the life drained from his tiny body, his scared voice crying at her to stop. I woke up in cold sweat.
(If it was her) How could a mother kill her own child? How does ANYONE become twisted enough to kill a child? The officials were supposed to take Dean away from her to live with his grandmother; I guess she wasn’t proving to be a fit parent. Was it anger? Did she feel like she had failed as a mother and it was somehow Dean’s fault?
Was it jealousy? Another woman was going to raise her baby; did she decide that if she could raise him, no one could?
Or was it just plain murder?

I’m trying hard not to think about it; I’ve got other things to worry about. But it’s just so close to home (in more than one sense). I know things can’t go back to the way they used to be: the school, the kids, the pond, the entire community. It’s all different now, damaged, broken, stained, I can’t think of the right word.

I just… I don’t know. I needed somewhere to put my feelings.
Thanks for reading.


Sunday, October 28, 2007 2:16 AM


Thank you all for your replies.
It's good to know that there are people who can take the time to show support.

It really means allot to me, thank you.

Friday, October 26, 2007 9:07 PM


P.S. Not all reporters are that way, thankfully. I do hope that you and those around you are somehow able to regain your lost sense of security, especially for your children.

Friday, October 26, 2007 9:06 PM


The only way to heal something like this is to rise above it. It's in circumstances just like this that a community, not just a group of individuals, must take a stand, and work to ensure that something like this cannot effect your children again. I'm very sorry for the pain this must have caused not just you but everyone around you.
As for the newsies, they care nothing about your feelings, or the damage they might do to those children with their prying and questions. It's sad to have to say that, as journalists should realize they have a responsibility to the people they report to.

Friday, October 26, 2007 10:35 AM


sometimes it's a cold and nasty 'verse. i'm so sorry. i'm glad you felt you had an outlet here.

Friday, October 26, 2007 9:09 AM


I'm so sorry. I had a similar situation when I was young - a classmate's older brother was horribly killed. It shook me up that something like that could happen in my world, in places I'd been, to someone I knew. It was awful.

Give it time - I believe your pond will be redefined again, and won't always be horrible to you. You can help make that happen. Don't shy away from it forever. Try to create new memories there, with your friends and family, that are good ones. Don't let it be taken away from you.

I'm glad the school is protecting those poor kids from the press. I really hope they succeed with that!

Friday, October 26, 2007 8:58 AM


I was working in television news in Colorado during the Columbine shootings. I empathize deeply with what you and yours are going through and I am so very, very sorry. I wish I could tell you how to make it ease; but I can't. Only the passage of time - and then it can all come back like a ton of bricks falling on your head. I am so sorry; know you have friends here to lean on.

Friday, October 26, 2007 7:44 AM


How heartbreaking!! Hugs, Thoughts and Prayers!!


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