,,,, totally screwed...
Monday, October 8, 2007

Why is it that i cant seem to do anything right.
My mother seems to think im uncaring.
I have school on monday nights, 7-10 and i work tuesday mornings either at 2am or 3 am.
So i told her a few weeks ago i can't pick her up on mondays and to please make alternative arrangments. Because supposedly im suppose to get sleep in the afternoons.
So when she called me this afternoon one hour into my almost nap trying to get SOME rest before school because i gould rest until FOUR expecting a ride i was little mifted.
I left her message afterwords saying i see you've called me why? It can't be for a ride because you know if dad doesn't owrk on mondays i cant pick you up...
i was a little cranky because i was just finished puking (i get stressed induce nausea... being waken by the phone after only an hour of sleep stresses me.)
Which then leads to a nice fight about how I'm willing to go out of my way to get dad to and from work but NOOOOOO i cant pick her up.
im still cranky...
I yell 'Because if i cant help dad he doesn't make me feel like CRAP!!!'
which is true.
Just because i live with my mother she seems to think she can treat me as her whatever.
I get off at 10am most days, so if i dont clean all the dishes, or laundry or what ever im a bad daughter.
If i made plans already and i can't lend her my, MY, car im incondierate.
Especially if i made plans with my father a WEEK in advance most likely shes going to say about 10 minutes before i leave "Oh wheres your keys i need to go (insert chore/family event here)"
Like i have no life.
oh and you know she comeback when i defended me taking time out of my life to try to get dad to work?
"YEAH RIGHT! you where almost in tear last week over try to get him to work"
my response
"Because you guys wouldn't help out when i had plans worked out (three work schedules conflicted) saying it was inconderate to do it to YOU!!!"
Because if i had a manditory training i had to attend, i cant do anything about it. But if i take my brother to work it would work out, if my dad takes him to work it would work, but us not taking dad to work doesnt work.
i work 40 hours a week, in a fairly stressful job, i am a part time student, i have to make sure x amount of people get home or to places, i have to do the dishes, laundy, clean house, make dinner, i have to do the shopping, i have to take care of Claire and all that in a house with 3 adults and 1 17year old. Just because i work at 3AM and not 3PM! or 9am or any other fucking time.
.... im going to bed now im going to cry alittle bit more get my 6 hours of sleep for the night, then tomorrow im going to wake up early, work for an hour come back and get dishes soaking and claire walked, then im going to go pick up dad go back to work for another 8 hours, have pick me up (because im lending hom my car) run to the bank, pick up holly clean the dishes i soaked pick up mom then sleep for another 6 hours before i work a 10 hour shift on wednesday.


Monday, October 15, 2007 11:34 AM


no cancer just fiberous tissue

Wednesday, October 10, 2007 2:44 PM


Go get that lump (I'm presuming breast) looked at immediately sweetie. The GYN nurse says so.
If you do not have a public health clinic, try Family Planning or Planned Parenthood. They do well woman care in addition to birth control. It may be nothing or it may be not nothing, there's only one way to find out and you really really don't want to put it off out of fear/fatigue/apathy if it's not nothing.

Stress = Bad.
Less stress = Good.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007 10:42 AM


added stuff..
right now me and my mother are pretending it never happened...
healthy huh...
right now i have to much to worry about to deal with my mother.
Besides all of the above...
just got my insurance ^_^
so now i can get some things out of the way
Dental- cracked tooth and two wisdom teeth... need to get it done pain not good.
Vision- Need glasses. Eyes hurt. Can't see. Like to see. Most get glasses.
Medical- hmmmm knee problems. Hmmmm hormones... hmmm back problems... what am i missing here......
Oh right. I found a lump. Insert slight since of panic here. need doctor please

Tuesday, October 9, 2007 4:05 AM


HUGS and I'm sorry you're having such a hard time...hang in there and know we all love you ok!!!

Monday, October 8, 2007 9:59 PM


Reading between the lines, these are somebody else's issues being worked out on you. I cannot believe that an adult can't put cause and effect together and understand the need for a few hours sleep in your frankly bonkers schedule.


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