GODDESSWARRIOR89'S BLOG

GoddessWarrior89

The Things You Learn in College...
Friday, September 21, 2007

This isn't going to be a happy log but I need to vent and to be honest this is the only place where I feel like I am actually listened to.

I guess that to fully explain where I'm coming from I should start at the beginning. This is a really hard subject to talk about so if you want to stop reading, do it now.

Around Easter break of my junior year in high school a boy I thought was one of my best friends decided to come get me and take me out to ice cream. We never got to the ice cream parlor. He pulled into a parking lot of and started to kiss me and put his hands all over me. I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn't until I tried to get out of the car. I demanded he take me home and he did, mainly because I think he was scared of my mother. I didn't ever talk to him again after that and I've not really trusted anyone since. He was my friend, he hurt me and I thought it was my fault. I blamed myself because I couldn't say no loud enough...

This morning in my Marriage and Family relations class a woman came and talked to us about rape and the myths and facts of it. I never realized it but, under the definition she gave us, my "friend" raped me. This is the first time I've ever admitted it.

Firefly/Serenity is my escape from this world and thank god I have those stories to lose myself in. And thank god for all of you people who listen to me whine and complain and aren't too hard on me. You guys are Big Damn Heroes in your own respects!

COMMENTS

Sunday, September 23, 2007 5:38 AM

THEQUICKBROWNFOX


I'm so sorry for what that hundan did. Trying to kiss you is one thing, NOT stopping when you said NO is most definitely another! Your feelings of grief is normal but should hopefully channel you towards activites and endeavors that make you stronger. Martial arts or handgun training is NOT an exaggeration. Hopefully you may never need to use these skills, but simply having them means that you can hold your own. Unfortunately poeple deal with others in only 2 ways: By reason or by force. Learn and then they can only reason with you. Hope this helps. :)

Saturday, September 22, 2007 9:49 AM

PHYRELIGHT


*hugs* Now you know it's not your fault.

Saturday, September 22, 2007 9:20 AM

GODDESSWARRIOR89


Thank you guys... you really don't know how much it means to me

Saturday, September 22, 2007 8:18 AM

ALLIETHORN7


BC2007, I will help you in your endeavor, if it so ever comes to pass. Son of a... He makes me ashamed of the male half of the bloody species, and I'm one of 'em!
Love, have strength, never give up. You have us, and, by that virtue, you have all of us, who will support you 100%, whatever happens.

-Danny

Saturday, September 22, 2007 7:09 AM

BROWNCOAT2007


Hey... seriously mei mei, drop me a line as to where this kid lives, he'll be in the hospital right quick... that kinda... dog... just dosen't sit right with me... A friends younger sister had that happen to her with an guy our age that we "knew" but didn't KNOW... ya know? Anyway, we ended up at a party where he was talking about it and I just kinda snapped... saw red... all that.

The next thing I know, three of my friends are trying to pull me off this kid and get me to go with 'em because apparently someone called the cops (we were partying at a friends house out of my neck of the woods, so we really didn't know many people there) 'cause people were afraid I'd beat the kid to death... As it was, he went to the hospital with three cracked ribs, two broken ribs, broken nose, broken jaw and a few missing teeth, a dislocated cornea, a cracked vertabrae, and multipule internal injurys... To this day, I don't know if I'm proud of what I did or not, but I do know that those kind of... I really don't want to call them GUYS, but, well, they are... make me sick, and angry... very, very angry... *virtual hugs* It's NOT your fault, and if you really want me to, I'll be down there and risk jail time to teach this kid some manners...

Saturday, September 22, 2007 5:38 AM

JAYNESGIRL212


Honey, it happened to me too. The sad fact is, more then once and I blamed myself for a long time. I thought I was weak, should have fought harder, maybe I did something to lead them on. Truth is, it's their fault, not mine. Just like it's his sick fault, not yours. I read these stories to escape to. It really helps. I'm glad to hear it helps you to. I do strongly suggest you talk to someone about your experience. Even just a help line. It really helps to talk to someone and get it off your chest. I hope you find some peace. My thoughts are with you sweety! Drop a line anytime!


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