Friday, September 7, 2007

“So there’s an old joke…
Man walks into a bar. Looks at the singer who’s performing.
Listens for a spell.
Barman asks him, “so what’dya have?”
Man says – “I’ll take two of her with some ice and lemon.”

So sue me – I’m not exactly living in joke-central here. Used to, mind, used to.
Herbie Van Michael and his Hot Stuff - We had a time of it, songs, singers, swingers –
ooh boy, a lotta action… running between places, playing both sides of the shining coin they call the ‘verse - the Blue and the Brown.

Y’ever see ‘The Wizard of Oz’ – real old, old film – Earth that Was. Scarecrow. Scarecrow stands at a crossroad. Looks at a girl. Girl’s wondering which way to go. This way, that way. “Of course, they do go both ways,” says Jim Crow.

He’s a good man, Jim Crow. One time he looks up in the sky and sees a message for the girl, written high up there in the clouds.
Surrender Dorothy
Wicked Witch wrote that.
Y’know, I heard tell that back in the day – back in the War, Civil War, just gone – General called across the black to the Browncoats floating in Mattox atmo’ – “Surrender Dorothy.”

‘Course, in the story, Dorothy didn’t do any such thing – gets up, kill the old witch.
Drops a house on her, or some such – hell, I forget.
Point? Life aint like that. Of course they do go both ways.
Sometimes the only way in life is down.

Now take HER f’r’instance. This little lady right here.

Hotter’n a May Day in Hades (an’ I should know, - this IS Hades).
Red headed – seems fittin’ don’t it – got a little Irish in her, I shouldn’t wonder. (I really shouldn’t).
Got the looks, every excuse for a thing that breathes round here’ll tell you that, and plainly.
Got the voice – wouldn’t believe it, little thing like her – voice real low down, “Put it right here – or keep it out there…” like whiskey in the throat, the Lord’s own tobacco. So, yep, no mistaking – looks and a voice, make a wolf out of any of you. “You should be ashaaamed…”

But she got balls too – not to get impolite – I’ve heard her cuss a fool boy back by a hundred yards. Y’ever heard the Irish cursing in fluent Chinee? Well – that’s something. So, yep. Balls.

Hey – I’m getting to it! BRAINS – naturally the dame has brains.
Stuck here in this fleapit, no papers, no traffic, no ways out – what’s a girl to do…
She’s getting married of course.

Moneyed fella too. Off-World. Hell, good for her – stuck here, six months drive anyone plain nuts. Stuck here.

But I knew she wouldn’t stay stuck. Got a nose for these things, knew she was going places… an’ I was right.
Just maybe places people aint s’sposed to go.
Places you don’t come back from.

Huh? Oh, I’m sorry – you didn’t like that?
Well, don’t mind me, Buddy – ‘nother song a long real soon. Don’t pay no attention to me.
I’m just the guy that plays the piano.
I’m just the man bangs out the tunes.

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Sunday, September 9, 2007 6:50 AM


This is brilliant. Put it in the BSR, now.


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