Are you making any progress yet or are you still thinking about it all?

-River

One last thing.

The game is up to you. Do nothing and you are dead in the water...trust me on this one.

-River

Also you seem to not have any confidence.
How did that happen or were you always like this? Who told you that you couldn't stand on your own two feet? Time for you to ignore those demons and voices of people past in your head and prove them wrong by going out there and finding your slice of life; It's out there waiting for you to claim it.

Get moving.

-River

You have a talent for art so make that a priority. You have a creative spirit so look in that direction.

Get moving, there's money to be made.

-River

I know it's tough, I have spent 20 years in a field where I have been repeatedly rebuked. But I stayed, and when people refused to value my work because of who I am, I just proved them wrong. I do what I do because I love it, and I manage to pay my bills with it. It took awhile, what I am saying, is don't give up. Even when you are way past dumping everything, take a breath and see if that is your voice telling you to quit or someone else's.

PR, You have artistic talent and some technological savvy. It is not a stretch to turn those into a career in web design. Do not be afraid of what you think you don't know. You don't need to have been a computer guru since birth to do well in a Tech School. Tech schools generally have 18 month programs that lead to certifications, and have all kinds of job placement and financial aid. Beauty is, what type of web design is up to you after you learn the field. The ability to visualize a page (color scheme, pattern, form, layout, and scripts is in demand, uncommon, lucrative and would give you the opportunity to release creative energy. It will also provide you with a medium for publishing your other work.

I have some experience in this as I was unsure and got into a computer programming area (no experience). Now I teach; which I didn't know I would enjoy, but I do. The point is; the IT field is wide open, learning one area can open you to entire worlds you were unaware of, and didn't know you would enjoy.

Avoid colleges if you want to go into IT. I have a Master's degree in IT and it means less than bottom end certifications.

I will miss you on your hiatus, and well... just trying to help you out.

I sincerely hope you feel better and can use this.

PR- I notice you're overwhelmed with advice but here's mine. Make a portfolio of some of your best work. Now call every gallery, advertizing agency, commerical art company, graphic art company, and anything else you can think of. Ask for an appointment with their head of Human Resources. Put your best outfit on, your sunniest smile,bring your resume and portfolio and walk in with your head held high. Tell them you are a great artist who hasn't had any formal training and you are looking for a job. You are willing to do anything to break into the business. Ask about internships applications. Thank them for their time and leave a copy of your resume. You're bound to find at least one place that wants you. Use that as a springboard... Also, there's monster. com and you can apply for anything you want to. Also check with your local SBA ( small business administration) they do these loans to small business that require them to expand and create jobs and they'll have a list of the most recent loans and who is about to hire. Also volunteer at local museams, galleries, libraries for a few hours a week. That can put you in contact with people who have art related jobs and you can put yourself forward ( after being there a while ) and tell them how much you'd like working for them...Hope this helps my beautiful Rose:)

...a long time ago and very far away I had to go to work right out of high school as my dad had died and mom and younger sister needed some help. I took a job as a legal secretary/assistant with some really nice (yes, they do exist) lawyers. They let me do lots of extra stuff and really expand my brain/self confidence and after a time I decided to go to law school (don't stop reading yet..I'm not a lawyer)...I realized that what I liked best about working for the law firm was interviewing clients and doing research for a variety of clients they had...when I did go back to college it was in media; communications... and I ended up as a radio/tv/and now newspaper journalist. If you can, try interning or volunteering in a field that draws your interest. The pay will be crap (if indeed there IS any pay).. but you will learn quickly enough if it's something you want to do. With computer animation (i.e. LOTR, KingKong, Spiderman, etc.)...there's a huge world out there...don't be afraid to jump in with both feet! I remember a description of one of my favorite authors, Harlan Ellison, written by someone who knew him well..."Life is a banquet..and Harlan is the guy that tries everything on the table..some of it made him puke, but he never let that slow him down."

PR - I wish I had some sage advice..but I haven't figured that one out for myself yet..I wish you luck on finding your path,and will support you in whatever you decide on.

Here's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

I would take a community college class in some subject like accounting, IT, or something really different community health. Explore things you would think you'd never like to rule them out.

Gotta pay the bills. As long as you land in something you can be happy doing.
Everyone would rather do something else. The trick is finding something you can tolerate.
I have a degree in Pre-Civil War American Literature. That and my extensive career in bookstores make me a whiz at the Lit questions in Jeopardy but not much else.

Huge girly hug for you, PR. And a kiss. You'll find your way out of the woods as long as you keep your chin up.

First, figure out what you most love doing, and find jobs that draw on that skill.
Reading? Lot of work for editors and proofreaders.
Watching movies? Try writing some reviews and selling them freelance.
Cooking? Cooking school can point the way to a restaurant job.
Costuming? Always a demand for that.
Storytelling? Plenty of freelance magazines, or you could try film school.

Seems none of us is alone in this. "Don't quit your day job" sounds patronizing but there IS something to it. The ol' actor/actress waiting on tables until the big break cliche. Ya gots ta put food on the table, and ya gots ta have a table to put the food on--'lessin' o' course yer Dubya and put food on yer family--so the income has to be there. The trick is figuring out what you REALLY WANT to do and set about doing in your "free" time. Which of course none of us has. But we have time to blog and post and creatively doodle, don't we? The time can be found somehow. FFF has helped me a bit in that regard. But I'm still baby-stepping myself, so who am I to give counsel? Sigh.

I took the the do-something-practical route; my theory was to stay in school until I figured out what I REALLY wanted to do. So here I am in my mid-30s, after having all the school they'd let me take, and I'm doing something that pays the bills (well, mostly). Problem is, I'm so bored by it that I can hardly manage! So I'm in the club too, BEB!

My advice (which is general and annoying, sorry!) don't go to school until you find something you love. School won't be a slog if you really are interested in what you're learning. And it can something out of the way - massage therapy, for instance. There are lots of careers off the beaten path - look for those.

Welcome to the club. PhoenixRose...and it's a big freaking club:(

Totally know how you feel, in that I am slowing drowning in a lack of desire to study anything practical cuz it bores the crap out of me but I also know that breaking into writing or acting or some other artistic work is mighty damn hard.

Guess the best advice is to consult with family and friends who know you and know the world. Maybe they could suggest a compromise or two in work that's practical but that will give you a semi-regular chance to be wacky and creative. 'Sides...even Joss had to slog till he got going;)

BEB