The Great Adventure by nRkangel

NRKANGEL'S BLOG

nRkangel

The Great Adventure
Tuesday, June 29, 2004

So I've got this friend who wants me to start a blog. Claims it'll help me clear out the cob-webby attic of my brain and leave room for new junk to pile up. Guess it could happen...

This same friend was recently laid off by the company I work for and just moved 500 miles away this last weekend.

We packed him up on Friday, Drove down on Saturday, unpacked him on Sunday and I flew back Sunday night to get to work Monday morning. (500 miles is 10 hours in a 3 car caravan with him, his wife and me each driving one vehicle... I got the one without air conditioning. You'd think I'd know better than to volunteer, wouldn't you?)

At least the car I drove had a CD player, and being alone meant that I could roll the windows down and sing as loud as I wanted. So that was my weekend. Slave labor and driving under the influence of '80's music...(C'mon, sing it with me! "Everybody's workin' for the weekend..." yeah baby, yeah baby...

)

Speaking of slave labor...They say that there's never a good time to jump out of an airplane in flight if it's not about to crash. (Parachute notwithstanding.) And yet I'm looking out from a metaphorical 10,000 feet getting ready to leap out into the unknown for no better reason than I think it's time. (In English: I'm leaving my job soon.)

When my company laid off my buddy, I decided that the writing on the wall might as well be for me also. Funny thing. Our budget was worked out last year and everything seemed to be fine, but they changed management at our home office in Japan and it was decided that cuts needed to be made. Well, they cut my partner in crime (that I brought into the company four years ago) and told me that I would be doing the job on my own. Nice.

They gave my friend a decent severance package, but that doesn't help much when the economy isn't so hot in the first place. (I work in the semiconductor industry - and a lot of those jobs are going off-shore - and I've seen a lot of people get laid off this last couple of years that had been with companies for ten or fifteen years.) Needless to say, I'm no longer a big fan of Dubbya... (Some say that he isn't to blame for the economy. Well, every damn time there's an uptick in the economy, some administration dipstick is on a podium in seconds claiming that the commander-in-brief is a genius.

Tell them something is wrong and it's suddenly an inherited situation, or they were never informed. I'm not a big Michael Moore fan, but I'm not unhappy that he's made things more difficult for people in power. (That's it...political rant over.

)

So, with the job market being what it is, and my future plans being a long shot at best, it would be fair to wonder why I'm leaving a cushy, well paying job. To be honest, I dunno. Most of my friends are cautiously supportive, with one actually being very vocal about his approval. "You go, brah! Take life by the horns and snort it!"

(Well, maybe he didn't put it exactly that way, but considering his track record with careers, he may as well have.)

The rest of them look at me reeeeeally funny now when they think I'm not looking, and I can't really blame them. Still, the way I see it, I'm young enough to have time for at least one last shot at a new career, I'm single with no financial resposibilites or debts hanging over me, and I've got a nest egg that should buy me just enough time to take a good shot at it. (I keep clicking my heels together saying over and over, "this isn't a mid-life crisis, this isn't a mid-life crisis, this isn't a mid-life crisis" but when I open my eyes, I'm still me. Not a good sign.)

I think maybe the worst thing about the situation is that I don't even know exactly when I'll be leaving. I told my bosses from Japan that I was getting ready to move on and the next thing I know, I'm talking to the bigwig himself who's telling me that there's no choice, I'm not really going, so I shouldn't worry about it. (Well you don't get to his kind of position without being able to do SOME creative negotiating.)

In the end I agreed to giving them time to figure out how they were going to replace me in return for a severance package, but that means that I won't be able to leave for at least one or two more months at the earliest. This not only sets back my planned projects, but it also makes it easier and easier to look down and see that the ground is really, really far away...(The worst part about bungee jumping is the last few moments when you still have contact with the ground.)

Of course this could be part of the plan on my employer's part as they've made it quite plain that they're not happy about my decision to leave and have offered different scenarios in order to get me to reconsider. Seems they never gave thought to the fact that I might actually want to leave (after they dumped everything on me). Totally unheard of in Japan. Only malcontents and *shudder* foreigners...

Still, they brought this on themselves by shrinking our office so suddenly that it left me feeling that there was no longer any security attached to this job despite their guarantees regarding my continued employment. (If you're on thin ice, it's better not to wait for spring before finding some place else to stand...) Besides, I'd hired my associate with the intent that he someday replace me... with the company letting him go, it became obvious that I would never rise past the functionary position I'm in. (Never get so valuable at a job that they're afraid to promote you out of it...)

Still, if it were about money, I would probably stay, but at this point, it's now about what I want to do with the rest of my life and how soon I should start down that path. (Is it also a little wrong of me to admit that I take just a smidgeon of pleasure from the fact that their plans backfired on them so badly? I thought not.

)

Something I've noticed is that I've been much happier now that I've made my decision, but, paradoxically, I've not been able to sleep well since I feel like I should be doing things related to my future plans rather than waiting for the end of this particular chapter. Happy, but not?? Somebody needs to s'plain this one to me.

Still, I'll look back at this and remember that I liked the company I've worked for these last eight years. The job was interesting, paid well and gave me the opportunity to travel a lot both here in the States and abroad - mostly Asia. I've had a chance to get out into the wider world and have some fantastic experiences. Plus the guys I've worked with in the company have been great and I've had fun with them when we had a chance to get together.

And yet, and yet, and yet...

I'm on the edge of what could be the greatest adventure of my life and to paraphrase our favorite cap'n...if I can just keep flying, that'll be enough.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, June 30, 2004 3:04 AM

LIZ

wow.
thank you for sharing this... i have to admit that myself and many of my friends are at the same place. i've signed another year lease on my apartment, so i'm planted for that long at least... do you mind if i live vicariously through you for the next year?

seriously though, let us know how it goes. Good Luck!

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