Ah ranting....such passion and grace expressed within;)

To throw my 2 credits in the ring (to mix metaphors intentionally *wink*), I think "sex" used to mean a person's genitalia is definitely one of those concepts you associate with softcore porn or Harlequin romance novels: it's a lot more tasteful than the c- or p- words, but still kind like a verbal iron bar across the noggin. I mean...no sex scene from any Joss Whedon product ever shows full-on contact, so detailed description isn't necessary. Not gonna flame a person for it, but not gonna sign their praises for using it;)

On the topic of children, I think Wash and Zoe's conversation outside the Heart of Gold in the episode of the same name starts a precident for the concept of kids on board. Yeah...them popping up quickly after the BDM is kind of a less-than-realistic plot point - especially with Simon "I took 8 months to work up the courage to admit my feelings for a woman" Tam and Kaylee; those two would probably get real busy for the first little while, but Simon's propriety would come back from its temporary vacation and slow the intimacy train down a few klicks. Probably would be even more out in left field for Mal and Inara to have kids right off the bat if the author hooks them up...Inara would need a while to come off whatever birth control she takes as a Companion;)

Simon-Kaylee sexing pattern...well there's an interesting issue. Kaylee is quite open in her appreciatons of the flesh, while Simon is...Simon. Definitely could see a few days of vigorous intimacy, but it would plateau and stabilize to something a lot more manageable for both parties. Especially cuz Simon would get some damn-fool idea about propriety and hit the E-brake triple hard;)

And River? Pretty sure the series established her as with latent perceptive powers, but not active telepathy or Reading skills till the Academy played "Operation" on her cerebreal cortex. Gotta admit that I too find some takes on River's abilities to be a bit too X-Men for the character. She can sense emotions and probably first level thoughts that aren't buried deep in the mind (reception strength of electrical signals and all that go se), not pick long forgotten memories from an unwilling subject. Not unless a fairly rational explanation is given for her abilities increasing in complexity.

BEB

nice to hear someone else voice fanfic annoyances I myself suffer from. I mean there's something about everyone having happy shiny lives still living on serenity with babies in 3 years, all about the same age... it just sort of turns me off the fic. I'm all about Joss-istic fanfic's, and the only kids joss has done was... hum... lets see conner who was a baby for like 5 seconds and then was all the sudden an adult. and dawn who isn't a baby but instead of having a younger sibling the whole time buffy gets "the key" who's been turned into the her sister.

I guess I just don't see s/k having a baby...

although i myself have been victim to this but seeing as it was written in revolt to all the shiny fics (i mean dead mommys aren't happy right?)

anyhow, i enjoyed the ranting river and hope you chat w/ you soon

Gotta go with the no spacespawn vote, myself. And the marriage in my fic just happened (wasn't my idea, it was his :) ) I think it's possible to write tasteful filth - leave it to the imagination of the reader a little more. And I'm with you on the S/K thing, too. I don't think Simon is going to be too relaxed with li'l sis nosing around. It's a small ship, after all.

I know what your mind is deprived of - booze! I have just shipped some mead off to you. So - if you drank all your beer, you better quit a job and get to brewing again, cause I have some writing to do and I'm waiting on my samples to help me get going! ;)

I agree with your pet peeves. Especially the children and the going at it like bunnies. Add weddings and honeymoons to the list - it's just not what I visit the `verse for.

In terms of the word 'sex', there's very few words that I like used. (Someone had Inara referring to her 'pussy'. Come on - would she ever use that word? Hell no!)

Sure, straight up porn uses all its dirty words, but that again isn't something I visit the `verse for. Have sex, but do it in character puh-lease!

I like to rant, weee!