JORJAREYNOLDS' BLOG

JorjaReynolds

Jokes of the week
Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ok these are some jokes i heard during the week, thought you all might to hear them. They are not mine in any way shape or form. They are not intended to offend anyone and I appologise if they do.

NUMBER 1-
Three men were bragging about how they’d given their new wives duties.

The first bragged how he told his Albanian wife she was going to do all the dishes and cleaning.
He said it toook a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house.

The second man bragged how he told his Korean wife she’d do all the cleaning,dishes
and cooking. he said on the first day he didn’t see any results but the next day it was
better. By the third day the house was spotless and he had a huge dinner.

The third man boasted how he told his Australian wife that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry done and hot meals on the table. he said the first day he didn’t SEE anything, the second day he didn’t SEE anything and the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.


NUMBER 2-
The radio station is running a competition. The question is "What does Old MacDonald have and can you spell it?"

An American rings in and says,"That's easy. Old MacDonald had a ranch. R..A..N..C..H.."

"No that's incorrect," says the announcer.

An Aussie says, "Old MacDonald had a station. S..T..A..T..I..O..N"

"Sorry that is not right either," says the D.J.

An Irishman rings in and says, "I know it. Old MacDonald had a farm."

"And can you spell it?" the D.J asks.

"E..I..E..I..O.."


NUMBER 3.

An Irishman has been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says the pub is closing, so the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand once more time, with the same result.

So he figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that'll sober him up a bit. once he's spent a few minutes outside, he stands up andd falls flat on his face.

So he decides to crawl four blocks to his house. When he arrives at the door he tries to stand up and falls flat on his face. He crawls inside through the door and into the bedroom. When he reaches the bed, he tries once more to stand up. This time manages to pull himself upright but quickly falls into bed.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting,"So you've been out drinking again"

"What makes you say that?" he asks attempting an innocent look.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."

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