I think you should develop Jorja first before dealing with the whole Mal-Jorja thing. What about Simon....?????

I really, really, really like your original character, I would like to understand the timeline a bit, and help define Simon a little better.

How sad... I can't remember the title of the specific episode. *sigh*
When Serenity had a cargo of hot food rations that Badger stiffed them on, Mal suggested selling to Constance.
"Didn't she shoot you once?"
"Well yeah, but that was a legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge."
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Perhaps yours is the incident that gave him such a long view of why folk do what they do?
After the first encounter where Mal runs Jorja off, Zoey points out that while it was messy, and did indeed knock Mal clean out for a few days, the shot was perfectly placed to not be fatal.
Second encounter (at the grave) is Mal not quite admitting he understands...
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Just my $.02

as i said, maybe start to lay the background and mal's words will come to you. it's a great start. definitely an angle i haven't read before. i'm hooked so let me know when you post :)

ooh, i'm excited to see this as a fan fic. uhm... he could say something like "I thought you might show up." (gruffly of course) and she says "well he was my dad" (awkwardly, wanting to explain her side. he turns to leave with out another word and she blurts out something, like "I didn't want to shoot ya." and he says with out turning "well you could have fooled me."

don't use it if it sounds like crap just thought i'd give you a suggestion

huh... um, I'd love to help, but truth to tell, I'm horible with original characters. I write original stories, but the characters always turn to something I've seen before, so I'm not sure how much help I can be... but I like the idea. You can surely go somewhere with it.

"Last I heard... friends don't shoot friends. Trust me when I say I won't let it happen again."

Or something like that, at least the way I see it.

Hard one darlin. I say Mal understands but still doesn't trust her. A sleep with one eye open sort of situation.