Sex or Firefly?
Friday, December 5, 2003

I had shoulder surgery 2 months ago, and I recently began physical therapy. Doctor's orders: Put an ice pack on your shoulder for 20 minutes every night.

So, I'm home laying on the couch with an ice pack on my shoulder. Just minding my own business, the way normal guys do. I pick up the remote, point it at my DVD player, and press PLAY.

"Take my love, take my land..." I begin to relax as Serenity winks at me from the TV.

Then, my georgous girlfriend walks into the room. Because it's Firefly, I immediately hit the PAUSE button.

She softly asks me, "Honey, are you ready to come to bed?" She is wearing see-through negligee and her boobs look really great. So does her vagina. I am stunned and aroused. I realize that her ass is wonderful also.

I gasp, "But, I'm watching Firefly, how about having sex later?"

She frowns at me and my genitals are on fire, but I manage to conceal my discomfort. I scowl at her and hiss, "You're in the way, I'm trying to watch Firefly!" I make the Claw sign with my left hand.

Whenever I pretend to be a sorcerer and use the Claw sign, my girlfriend always gets scared and backs down.

She storms off to bed, cursing, but not too loudly. Immediately, I take the ice pack off my shoulder and sit on it. I reach for the remote and press PLAY.

"I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me..."

I am at peace at last. Tomorrow will be another day.


Tuesday, August 31, 2004 12:19 PM


that is by far the stupidest thing i have ever heard.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004 4:53 PM


Somehow i just knew it was him.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 4:58 PM


My God! Have you been sneaking into my apartment? That is just like how me and my girlfriend are - right down to the claw thing!

Monday, February 23, 2004 4:46 AM


yeah, that whole claw thing's real scary to us womenfolk--imaginary or not!

Wednesday, January 28, 2004 5:51 PM


now thats just downright unsettlin'.


You must log in to post comments.