QUICKSAND'S BLOG

Quicksand

Reasons Why "Serenity" Could Surpass Genius
Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Two quick things: First, I'm not happy with the title of this Blog, but I needed something to offset the other, previous "Reasons to Fear 'Serenity,'" which made me sound like an a-hole, but c'mon, I made some good points. Second, we all know this movie's gonna be good. Great. But the following could push the movie beyond, into Legend:

5) Score. We already know the dialogue is going to be quotable, which arguably is the best way to make a movie Immortal (Star Wars IV & V, anything Monty Python... the list goes on). Can Joss integrate a pop song into the movie, and not make it obtrusive? If not (and when the studio asks, I hope they say NO), can the score be as memorable as Star Wars? You can't outdo the orchestra, but underdoing it with acoustic guitar could be bloody brilliant.

4) Joss. The Actor. I feel bad putting this number 4, but I feel very strongly about this. If no one has created a "Numfar" fansite, I'm about $20 away from buying an HTML book and building one myself. Numfar is the MAN... can Joss give himself THE cameo? Not Hitchcock standing by the front door; not Shyamalan locking an alien in the cupboard... I mean, y'know, the ONE. The one we haven't seen yet. Something like Walken in Pulp Fiction, except... better. I'm babbling.

3) Is it GRAND? Is it an EPIC? ... Or is it just a TV show on the movie screen? I get in more arguments with people about the X-Files movie, because it was just a 2-hour TV show. It was shot like a TV show, it was written like a TV show, it was acted like a TV show. It was budgeted like a feature film, but that don't make it so. The film screen has WIDTH. It has DEPTH. Both figuratively AND emotionally. You know the only movies that figure this out? Cartoons. Think "Duck Tales: The Movie." Think, wait for it, the epic Shakespearian makeover that was "Transformers: The Movie."

"Dude, Quicksand, you're a crack smoker."

Okay, just think of 1989's Batman. Except, replace the TV show with the graphic novel, and that's what Serenity needs. BIGGER, WIDER (David Lean used to use the Extreme Wideshot all the time; John Ford, Kurosawa. They gave movies SIZE, SCALE. Even James Cameron does this. X-Files? TV show). Long story short: Joss supposedly did MAJOR rewrites on "Speed." That movie had the DEPTH, the EMOTION, and more than one location. Okay, it had 3 locations, but that was also the same number of characters it had, and Serenity has nine, THAT WE KNOW OF. So he'll nail this one. Or he should, anyway. ;)

Jan de Bont (Speed) can't direct actors, and Joss can. The writers and director of "Fight the Future" had never made a movie before, and Joss has. In the words of Mr. Burns: Eeeexcellent.

2) Rating. This was close with #3, but I gave this one the edge. "It's a TV Show, Joss," the executives will say, "We know a lot about these things, and the smart play is to make it PG-13, because more people will come see it. Your key demographic...." If Joss is the man we know and love (and the man who had his soul rearranged when they killed AlienFour), he'll punch them in the face. This movie needs a cinematic, R-RATED MOMENT, in the first five (maybe ten) MINUTES ... and we've achieved the Legend I spoke of above. I was 11 when I saw "Transformers: The Movie," and that was supposed to be a cartoon... well, half those characters died GRAPHIC, VIOLENT deaths in the first SCENE. I was never the same again. I'm not saying Joss should kill anyone, but having Mal (better yet, Jayne) drop an F-Bomb on an authority figure would be pretty freakin' sweet. And you know it.

1) This carries us to the #1 thing that will make this movie Legend: the characters we haven't met yet. Martin Landau in X-Files? Taking up Space. Nicholson in Batman: BRILLIANT. Ricardo Montalban in Star Trek II: LEGEND!!!! It's not just that we should have stunt casting-- which ... we... should... NOT... but the trick is, you put a famous movie star in there, and then you have Fillion or Baldwin or Torres EAT HIS FACE. (Or, alternatively, HER FACE) ... we're overcoming the stigma of a TV show, so to win over new fans, and Pinhead Critics, you put Fillion in a room with Mr. Movie Star and you show that they both crap the same size. Are you with me? Of course you are.

I believe, in my heart, "Serenity" will achieve 3 out of 5. It'll be an A+. A Nine Point Nine Five. And I think that's great. Or maybe I'm just a cynical bastard who has had my heart broken too many times (I still grind my teeth when I think of the last 15 minutes of "Alien Resurrection). Anyway, I'm not getting my hopes up any higher than that, so when "Serenity" is 50 times better than "Hush," I'll be moved to tears and weep.

And that's MANLY, gorrammit.

Resume posting.

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COMMENTS

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 1:15 PM

QUICKSAND


Oh.... a better example for you to use, Hoagie, would have been John Ritter.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 1:14 PM

QUICKSAND


Um. Hm.

First of all, Clea DuVal isn't a household name NOW. When she was cast in the first season of Buffy, in 1997, no one knew who she was, and she wasn't even a little bit famous. See also Eion Bailey from Season 2 (the episode where Xander joins a pack of jackals) -- Bailey would go on to star in Fight Club and various other little roles in movies.

When I speak of stunt casting, I mean more like, Martin Landau in "The X-Files," in a part that could be played by basically anyone. Someone they can put on the poster and go, "Look! You recognize that name, don't you?"

Anyway, studios do this. I think I'm repeating myself.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 3:44 AM

HOAGIE


I agree with Liz that cursing, while it would be easier on the cast, would probably lose some of the glimmer that we have come to love with the cursing in chinese. besides, if we take the time to look up what the curses mean then we learn something new and can curse in a crowded office setting and not get reamed for it.

as fas as casting a huge movie star to bring star power to the film, this is something Joss has done before, but not in the way people expected. In Buffy season one he had Clea DuVall (of Girl Interrupted and 13 Conversations about One Thing) guesting in Out of mind, Out of Sight. rather than pointing and saying "look, a movie star," Joss cast her as an invisible girl and had her show up in three quick flashbacks, totalling about five minutes screen time.

Methinks Joss has more faith in the Serenity Crew to carry the story alone. You stick some Brad Pitt or John Cusack into the mix and you can't expect it to not change. i would vote for Joss writing a good story and then designing the shots afterwards. the man knows epic writing, as evidenced by any Firefly episode when you turn the TV off and think "damn, that could have gone on for another hour at least."

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 8:44 PM

QUICKSAND


Oh, and I don't WANT the show to return to TV. I want a new movie every 2 years. Cuz, as before, Joss is the Man.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 8:44 PM

QUICKSAND


Point One-- I'm not saying the characters would curse up a storm, like in EVERY movie we're used to seeing. I just mean, one or two well-placed "F**K!"'s would/could be pretty funny.

Point Two-- I believe Joss has thought of (or experienced) much of this. Cuz Joss is the Man. But I do not trust the studio, and neither should you.

Tim Burton created a movie called "Batman" in 1989.

The studios created "Batman and Robin."

So that evidence is pretty much irrefutable. :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 7:18 AM

LIZ


i dunno about the rating thing... i mean if the crew starts swearing and so forth and then the show goes back to network telvision, then it might be kinda obvious when the swearing is gone... you know? the way that Joss has gotten around it it so far (swearing in Chinese, "gorram," etc.) would seem kinda forced once we see the crew swearing in English. just my two cents, for what it's worth.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 8:43 PM

DARKARCHON


Amen brother! Preach on!


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