NUCLEARDAY'S BLOG

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My Alternate Universe
Saturday, February 25, 2006

Okay, so the past few weeks have seen some interesting news about possible returns of Firefly. Sure, they've been debunked, and the Whedon has posted and said that the rumours are untrue... But I go for the whole "reality is what you make of it" thing. Quantum physics (or whatever it's called) posits that objects only "exist" as clouds of potential until a)they come into contact with another object or b)you look at them. (If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one to hear it: there is no tree :)(Or whadda I know, they didn't have any classes in Advanced Theoretical Quantum Mechanics in art school.)

So, given that I am essentially a reality machine, I have decided to take matters into my own hands re: getting our little show back on the small screen. To this end I have decided to create an alternate reality wherein Fox never cancelled the show. We're now into Season 4 (everyone had a nice long happy vacation and also had to take some time off the series to film the movie trilogy.) Serenity won an Oscar for best movie, and a whole bunch of other awards (including, oddly enough, one for best animated feature film...)

Joss Whedon has been voted King of All Space and Time in a unanimous landslide. Everybody uses the words "shiny," "gorramn," and "palaver" on a regular basis. Suspenders are back in fashion. There is rampant black market trade in tiny beagles. Every ringtone, everywhere, on every phone, is either the Firefly theme or the Hero of Canton.

Oh, and I'm happily married to Kaylee. (Not Jewel Staite, the lovely, talented and not-so-single actress. What do you think I am, nuts?:) There was a wierd cross-dimensional power flux thingy... had to do with quarks and electrons, I don't know, but it's my reality and that's just the way it is.

Now, due to the Intergalactic Riots of 2004, Fox has been burned to the ground. In it's place is the 24-hour Firefly Television Network. Thanks to recent advances in time-field warp anamolie fields, it only takes like 30 seconds to film an entire television season, so there's always something new on TV. And lest I forget, the Special Hell that all the child molesters and Network Execs went to is now a theme park somewhere in Wisconsin; so everyone can eat ice cream and point and laugh as certain individuals have unspeakable things done to them. (Often involving that wicked-looking snaky thing from War Stories.)

All are welcome to come join my alternate dimension. I believe I've managed to rig some sort of extra-dimensional reality portal thingy, and I think most of the time it actually works quite well. There's only occasionally a fatal malfunction. The water's great, and there's plenty of protein bars for everyone.

Anyways, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I spot an Ice Planet (tm) with my name on it.

COMMENTS

Sunday, February 26, 2006 7:32 AM

NUCLEARDAY


All are welcome in the land where coats are brown and protein bars are plentiful. ;p Come for the daily fox hunts, stay for the all-night shindigs.

Sunday, February 26, 2006 1:35 AM

BOOKADDICT


Nice 'verse, can I come and live it?

Saturday, February 25, 2006 8:07 AM

MIRAMEL


now tahs my kind of alternate reality :p

Saturday, February 25, 2006 6:49 AM

FOREVERSHINY


I happen to like your Alternate Universe better than the 'verse I am currently occupying.

But I was under the impression that Joss was already King of All Space and Time. *grin*


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