Friends (not the tv show)
Saturday, July 30, 2005

Ok so i never really posted in my blog at all, ever... so im going to now

to clear the jumbled thoughts in my head

Im very loyal to my friends, I care a great deal about them, and would protect them at any cost.

like everyone ive met my share of bad eggs, not least Linda (whos story may be spraffed at a later date) even so, my experience with her didnt shatter existing loyalty to other friends. Im of course more carful about who I give my time too, and my browncoat family are most certainly a group of people id do anything for at any time in any way.
I also have another group of friends who are not browncoats and just 'humour me' with my fandom.
Recently (yesterday) I felt very let down by one of these people, and its all quite silly i think, but it breaks down to loyalty. I post infrequently on her message boards, due to a group of 'Heathers' (if youve seen the film you get me) making it as hard for me as possible because im a punk and not a trendy pop music loving babycham drinking scary girl. in other words im not what they call normal. (and dont get me wrong, these women are adults, not kids) so I asked this friend to remove me from her boards, as I was uber uncomfortable, and although unlike me, I felt it was best. She refused saying she wanted me to help mod these boards now they were getting bigger by the day (if you know me, its a support board for chloes illness) so me being one to always help out said ok, I log on yesterday morning to find the heathers spraffing about being made mods, and no sign of me. now im not bothered about that, im bothered that my friend said what she did, what was the purpose of it, to make me feel even more crap.....

I seem to set myself up for being walked on.
Should i become more selfish, stop caring so much, to avoid being hurt again and again.

End of random and pointless blog


Tuesday, August 2, 2005 4:06 AM


This isn't a pointless blog!

Blogs are very cathartic because lots of people who genuinely care about you write back and tell you that you are great. Not because it is easy but because it is true. We on this board are great, and you are great, just as Citizen, TWG and SimonWhoIsn'tReallyEvilButDon'tTellHimISaidSo has said.

Most people (I hate to say and don't want to believe) are pretty crap and inconsiderate. Know that you have people that aren't crap ready to help and that you are great in many ways that most of the population aren't.

Be happy, don't let the bastards grind you down.

Also, have some chocolate!


Sunday, July 31, 2005 2:01 AM


Yep, some people suck, basically.

Had this group of friends, and we was real close, if we went out we as a group, we did something, it was as a group. Then one particular member of the group decided it would be fun to get the big wooden spoon out and start stirring.

I didn't want anything to do with it so I became the focus of a lot of it...
needless to say I don't speak to them anymore.

Maybe I just don't get it, maybe thats how we're supposed to behave towards each other, I just don't want that.

You know.

Saturday, July 30, 2005 11:03 AM


I'd be willing to bet that a lot of folks here bend over backwards for people. And most, I'd wager, have been trampled on and used. I've noticed that we are not just fans or browncoats, but we have a strange idea that mankind is one family. You see, we are not drawn to Firefly because it is science fiction or a western or even joss's baby; we are drawn here because folks that should not care one lick about each other stand together and fight for each other. They do for others even when they will not benefit themselves. We, or at least I, do whatever we can to help out people. The world knows that we will help them and they walk all over our backs.

The only way to stop it from happening is to say no. I know I should say no just as you know it too. But I don't want to. It doesn't feel right. So I get stressed and weary and hurt and it bothers me...I don’t mind so much though when I look back at things. Perhaps this why I don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t get close enough to be hurt when they use me as I know they will. So I get used and move on to the next person that needs something from me. I let them laugh. I let them enjoy themselves. I let my pain get buried until I realize that they are smiling; it may be at my expense but at lest they’re happy.

Short of blowing up the school gym, you have two options: never offer again or let it wash over you. I also recommend sleepovers. They are great at relieving the tresses of the world. Make sure to talk about boys and sing silly songs and put someone’s bra in the freezer. You’ll feel better in no time.

Saturday, July 30, 2005 12:30 AM


I think we've got to accept that every now and then, one of our friends is going to do us over. I must admit I've got hulking big shields to stop that happening to me again (long story, involves one former best friend and two female friends) but if you don't trust other people, it's not much of a life.

In any case, have a big consolation hug from me. Plus while I'm there, I'll pull that knife out of your back.


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