TETHYS' BLOG

tethys

Musings on Life Part 1
Saturday, June 4, 2005

Ok, so I’ve never done a blog before, per se. Not normally one to share what I think or feel very much, it tends to bite me in the nether regions something fierce, shall we say. I have toyed with the idea for a bit, so I’ve decided to give it a go (at least it will give me something to do during work hours (lol)

A quick introduction might be warranted, so as to give this some semblance of logic. First off, I am typing this in Word, so I have no idea how this is going to turn out…

The common joke would be: I was born when Carter was president, and I’ve been recovering ever since. (Weak joke there, but hey.) I grew up as lower-middle class, as it were; never really hurting for anything, but not enjoying the frills that other kids of that time enjoyed, shiny bikes, Nintendo’s, etc etc. My parents had divorced when I was two, and my mother remarried when I was four, my real-dad the same year I believe. This part of my life is rather gray. Not for the reasons that most would think (I am cursed with total recall, and near photographic memory), it was rather that my feelings on such things hadn’t quite formed into what they are now. I do distinctly recall that I had little tolerance for this new bloke that ran the show, and missed sitting in my mom’s lap watching scary movies (poltergeist especially) late at night. Think I wanted that back until maybe 8 years had passed.

Being a rather “simple” man, not stupid mind you, but just simple, having a son with a next-gen computer for a brain is rather intimidating, I would say. Many, many times would I be harassed for using “Big Words: to confound him (like say…pelvis), or discussing certain bits of science or math. Like ideas about how things worked, and what could I actually figure out (a habit that I still enjoy to some extent). Made things a bit rough, so needless to say, I was relatively grounded until my height and weight caught up with me and I had a more “manly frame” (Being short and rather skinny most of my life). Still a bit lean of build, but the height became 6’ at some point.

So, growing up, I learned how to conceal a lot of what I truly thought or knew (know when to hold them, know when to fold them…it’s the walking away that’s difficult at times o:O). Needless to say, that provided NO shortage of difficulties in the cutthroat world of the American school system. Outsider, reject, weirdo, freak, nerd, geek…. you name it, I’ve been called it. A few friends here and there ; no popularity for me, just the kind of friends that you give you a wistful longing for later in life. My recompense was that I had the brains in my little finger what most of the harassers had in their entire body, which with my sarcasm, left me in trouble more times than not. Bullies typically don’t like to be reminded that they are rude, boorish, stupid, or otherwise lacking in certain…features, shall we say? Which, of course combined with Sunday morning Kung Fu matinee on TV left me with a fascination for all things martial (most martial arts, swordplay, etc). The last bully that attempted to establish his superiority got jump kicked…lol. Oh…and try being confined to a pair of glasses on top of all that (20-15 vision does NOT make one popular!)

Unsurprisingly, most of this left me with, or as a result of (Which came first, the chicken or the egg) a healthy does of AHDH (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, for those that don’t know), a highly INACCURATE term. A pet peeve of mine is what it actually is, how it is explained to people that don’t know what it is, and the millions of claims to have it. As a kid, it was very rare for a diagnosis of ADHD, let alone so many people walking around saying they have it to get some sympathy, or an excuse to drug up their kids (my cousin for instance was on Ritalin for years, but shares not a one of the symptoms of ADD or ADHD).

So, let’s break it down: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Submitted for your approval as it were…there’s no such thing as a Deficit with it, more like a Surplus. The current commercials describe it as “Like you are watching the television, and the channel changes erratically and you can’t control the remote” INCORRECT. Imagine yourself in a theatre with an entire wall of nice, crisp, and clear high def TV’s. Every single one of those is tuned to a different channel, each with the same level of audio by default. Now, imagine that you can see and hear everyone of those channels at once, and can follow any or all of them at will. THAT is ADHD. For those that have grown up with it, there is the capability of “turning down the volume” on all save one or two of those channels AT WILL. Which leaves a person firmly capable of extreme awareness and sensitivity of their surroundings. Most can follow three different, distinct conversations at the same time, in addition to other feats of attention handling. As a test, I: watched a movie, read a book, listened to the radio, talked to my mother, and had a conversation on the phone AT THE SAME TIME. And not a one of those things suffered. Ever had that person that seemed to pay absolutely no attention to you whatsoever while you are talking to them? Ever throw in a question to prove that fact, and they turned around and answered it as if they were paying attention the entire time, or can quote back verbatim what you just said? That’s ADHD, my friend. The people that make you dizzy when it comes to math equations, or can make astounding intuitive leaps: ADHD. These are my points about this “condition”; it’s not a Disorder, weakness, drawback…properly used and studied, it is an advantage, a valuable tool to use. PROPERLY used, that is. Some people sit behind it, and become its victims, or allow societal views to determine that they are handicapped. My opinion is that evolution (if there is such a thing) is taking its next step forward with this. I’ll just about wager odds that a person thus “afflicted” uses more of their brain capacity and more efficiently that one who doesn’t…

Now, those of you that don’t have it: don’t think that I am spouting ALL the joys and none of the drawbacks, or that I am spouting rhetoric reminiscent of X-Men’s Magneto. Common issues are that one must constantly by occupied, or stimulated, whether mentally or physically (then again, there’s really no distinction between the two with this). Boredom is a constant issue that will plague such people until the day they die, which leads to the inability, or procrastination of finishing projects. Remember that brief fanfic I wrote? It’s right up here in my brain, but has yet to make it’s appearance on paper; one of the reasons I would say that the only published material I have is short stories and poetry. Not quite boredom WITH the project, but rather that the stimulation of that project has decreased, and some greater thing has come about. Notice the distinction between STIMULATION and ATTENTION; for: while painting a miniature (which I love doing and can complete even though it may take me 8 hours to do so), I can work out plot points, create characters, and work on a complete story outline. It’s the putting of that onto paper that eludes me, dictating it is a different matter altogether. (Then again, having a bum hand may contribute to that slightly). So-called “normal” people find the matter confusing, intimidating, and don’t altogether understand the person with ADHD, which leads to difficulties in relating to one another…especially with the current thought that it is a DISORDER, a DISEASE to be treated. I’ll explain something to you: NO amount of Ritalin, impramine, or that new stuff will “cure” anyone of having it.

COMMENTS

Sunday, June 5, 2005 10:11 AM

CITIZEN


:) I saw the :p and but wasn't sure...
Oh well...
I'm also dyslexic, which is considered a learning disorder, despite the fact that in order to be dyslexic you have to be of (usually) above average intelligence.
Dyslexics are often 'underacheivers' in schools, tho when taught differently or allowed to work 'in their own way' excel. In fact i believe both Einstien and Newton are believed to have been dyslexic, so is it a learning disorder, or people who 'learn differently'?
Not exactly the same thing but in the same vein...

Sunday, June 5, 2005 7:41 AM

TETHYS


That was me o:O

Sunday, June 5, 2005 6:45 AM

CITIZEN


Sorry mate just trying to say that as far the whole ADHD thing i know what you mean didn't mean to cause offence...

Sunday, June 5, 2005 5:57 AM

TETHYS


The idea that the whole point of the blog was the existence, definition, or my own interpretation of ADHD is ludicris at best. I thank you for that wonderful, insightful comment regarding my life's history in brief so far. Your capabilities contribute oh so much to the discussions contained herein.

:P

Sunday, June 5, 2005 3:43 AM

CITIZEN


I was reading this while watching tv and working out how i was going to produce a certain effect on the serenity 3D model i'm working on.
Thing is I can rarely even watch a TV program without doing something else at the same time...

Saturday, June 4, 2005 3:03 PM

TETHYS


*groan*

It's a bit out of order, for that I'm sorry!! the first part is followed by the last, and then bigger part above that. Sorry for the jumpiness, was not prepared for the epistle that came out!

Saturday, June 4, 2005 3:01 PM

TETHYS


So, I had an interesting childhood, to say the least. In the course of my life (thus far), I have studied theology, philosophy, history, martial arts, military history, computer science, programming, and graphics design. Not a jack-of-all-trades, but possibly a renaissance man. I have written, sung (yes, I was a singer at one point…not famous of course), designed, advised, and more importantly, thought for myself; which seems a distinction in this day and age.
I spent a few years in the army, as a scout sniper of all things, up until I was injured during a training demonstration (hand got crushed). Spent the years since in a sort of off and on rehabilitation for it. Still don’t have full mobility, feels weak at times, and has internal pain every now and then, but I can still throw a person over my shoulder (Judo study and tournaments does wonders for that kind of problem). I got my head torqued by a lovely young lady during my college days, basically fled to Florida to get away (probably would have stayed did I not), and met the feisty Irish lady that I married (whose family was thoroughly Americanized, to be honest), that gives me the fits every now and then, but it’s worth it. Had a daughter, lost a daughter, recovered from my daughter, for the most part. Spent some time in dead end jobs (hard to prove sheer intelligence, a memory like an elephants, and a computer for a brain…at least without a full degree). Came out of depression over a year and a half ago (daughter was born in 2002), and promptly got fed up with things, and went to work for Dell. Got an offer for twice the amount and moved to Delaware, which is about 500 miles from my nearest (real) family member, which suits me just fine (another blog perhaps), and now live in a house I never would have thought I would, and drive a relatively new car…all a surprise to myself when I take into account the fact that my wife and I lived in a hotel for a while last year, or that we lived in a tiny duplex that was one cut above a roach motel during the Firefly-On-TV days. Karma does work on occasion, I suppose.
I now have a relationship with my sister (real-dad and step mom), who may just be staying with my wife and I for a while after next month, and have all but disowned my mother’s “sperm donor”.
So, my life is truly not where I imagined I would be at this point. I imagined I would be a bachelor until I was 25 (three years off), and a father at 35 (12 years off lol). I thought I would be a published writer by now, go KRAD! But, I am in the IT field, which I wanted. I have learned a lot, too much it seems at times, and have expanded my horizons tremendously ( I may just have good credit soon).
Strange life, weird life, interesting life. So…that catches you up with the present (for the most part), to understand a bit, since my thought patterns include happenstances that may have occurred briefly years ago, or are influenced by certain things that are not readily apparent to most. Blogs are great and all, IF ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND THEM! I operate through leaps and bounds of logic, intuition, and insight; so for those that read these entries: Hang on and enjoy the ride. Time to feel NORMAL, TWG!!

Saturday, June 4, 2005 3:01 PM

TETHYS


It’s not a chemical “imbalance” in the brain. It’s on the same level as the people that if you say “3”, they see “yellow” or if you say “blue”, they smell roses, or something similar. Do people like that have “issues”? Do they have a “disease”? No, they have a fascinating mind that functions differently from the mainstream that comes to conclusions about colors, numbers, and scents that is nothing short of amazing. Is this any different? All in the perception, my friends.


POST YOUR COMMENTS

You must log in to post comments.

YOUR OPTIONS

THIS MONTH'S ENTRIES

ARCHIVES

2005 September

2005 July

2005 June

OUR SPONSOR