It Never Gets Any Easier
Wednesday, March 9, 2005

Does it? Normally I'd be moping on my home blog, but if one is going to fish for sympathy, what better place than here with all my wonderful Browncoats. That and I can be vulnerable here. She won't see this. She'll see me being strong, being ok. So she won't feel bad about me hurting, because she won't know. Fucking white hat.

I was doing ok. I really was. But she was out of town and not online. And then she popped online. And there sunk the heart. And then I made the mistake of talking to her. Not because of anything she did or anything like that. It was just difficult to talk to her as only a friend.

And then she went out for a bit to catch a band. Came back and wanted to talk a little more. Drunk. Rah. Just. Argh. I must be masochistic.

Also, empathy sucks. If you wanna know, you can ask, but I won't say why here.


Thursday, March 10, 2005 6:34 PM


I'm sorry for your troubles, I don't even have to hear the whole story, it's pretty clear. I've been in similar shoes, not the same size though :P

A song for you iffin' you like music for your soul, as Jadehade suggested.
Elliot Smith~ Waltz #2 off the CD~ XO.
It's sort of a love/hate song which I ADORE. Music has gotten me through a whole lotta crap in my life.

Thursday, March 10, 2005 9:59 AM


Sorry about that wierd post thing, not sure what happened. anyway, what I wanted to say was that it will get easier. It takes a lot longer than you want it to, but it will get easier. Sad thing is, it doesn't ever really go away. it will occassionally bob to the surface, like that body in the lake. But, maybe it's not a bad thing that it never goes away. it will come back to remind you of the pain, the suffering, and that the fact that you're human. It's been years since someone riped out my heart, and I let about 98% of my soul bleed away with it. (don't panic, it regenerates, just alittle less white and a little more ...well, grey) the important thing is knowing that you're not alone. You aren't the only one that has had something like this happen. for me I listen to my music, all full of that pain and suffering. I wrap myself in it like a warm blanket. You likely have a band or two that does the same, if not try you also have several great friends here and of course Static close by. It took me a long time to see that anyone that brings you that much ache (you know without asking for it and dressing up in the leathers) just doesn't deserve to have you in their lives. Alone sucks, but not as bad as being with the wrong people. eh? be well.

Thursday, March 10, 2005 9:43 AM



Thursday, March 10, 2005 9:43 AM



Thursday, March 10, 2005 9:43 AM



Thursday, March 10, 2005 7:01 AM


I echo Static and TRM. Though I don't see you just jumping back into the saddle.

You’re not gonna want me to say this...I think you need to not talk to her for a while. Let yourself heal (or numb) for a bit. I know she wants to be your friend and you are friends. But right now, you are too close to her to get past this. You know what she did during the day. You know that she went out and had fun, without you, last night. It's not good for you, my boy. Don't stay away forever. Just a little space for now. Okay?

Thursday, March 10, 2005 6:01 AM


You don't usually "get over it". . .but you manage to "get on with it."

Thursday, March 10, 2005 4:49 AM


No, it doesn't get any easier. Hang in there! I suggest you should look for someone else, if you are talking about the same woman.


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