Title: None so blind Pairings: Mal/Simon. THIS IS SLASH. You have been warned. Spoilers: All of the show, not the comics or movie. Set a few months after OiS, and Inara has left. Rating: PG-13 building to R Genre: Drama. Hurt-comfort Length: This is part 1 of 10ish Summary: An injury puts Mal out of commission and forces him to realise that sometimes you have to trust that even when you can't crawl, there's those that will carry you. Archive: Just ask.

PS: The slash doesn't actually appear for a few chapters, and even then its not gonna get explicit until near the end. Also, this is my first Firefly fic, so be nice and review please? *hopeful smile*

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‘What happened?’

Blackness. A clatter of familiar voices, barely audible over the ringing in his ears and the burning ache down his left side.

‘Job went south.’

Still blackness. Couldn’t open his eyes.

‘I can see that, Jayne. Can you be a little more specific!’

This voice was sharp, and instantly recognisable. Simon, in full doctor mode. Why couldn’t he see?

‘Safe went off. Booby-trapped. Cap’n pushed Zoë’n me away, he got hit hardest.’

‘I thought we had the codes,’ Simon said.

‘So did we.’

Zoe. That made three. Where were the rest?

‘What happened out there!’

‘Is the Captain gonna be okay?’

Wash. Kaylee sounding terrified.

‘One down, four to go.’

River. Back to crazy-talk it seemed. Or maybe the pain had addled his brain so much it just sounded that way.

‘Could everyone be quiet please? I need to work.’

‘Seems like you could use a little space too, son.’

‘Oh God.’

Book. Simon again. What was wrong with his eyes? And why had everyone shut up all of a sudden? It hit then. He screamed.

‘Mal!’

‘Captain.’

‘It’s okay, just lie back down.’

‘Please, Mal!’

‘Captain, I need you to lie back down.’

Simon’s voice the only calm one left. Not calm enough though. A slight shake in it even still. He fought the hands that struggled to hold him down.

‘Captain Reynolds! Lie down before I sedate you. I have expended far too much energy on keeping you whole to let you hurt yourself like this.’ The voice had steel in it now. ‘I have reattached ears, mended gunshot wounds, knife wounds, and on one memorable occasion, a sword wound. I am too stubborn to let you make yourself worse, and you are too stubborn to let your fear win out. I know you aren’t a coward, captain. I’ve seen you worse than this.’

His lips felt cracked, and his throat burned to use it. ‘Can’t see.’

‘I know. I’ll fix it, don’t worry. It just might take a while,’ Simon answered, soft-voiced again.

‘How long?’

‘I don’t know. It could be a few weeks. But I will fix it. You have my word, Captain. Now lie back, and go to sleep.’

A sharp prick in his arm, and then real blackness.

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‘He gonna live?’ That shouldn’t be the kind of the thing a man woke up to. Especially not when coupled to the fact that he still couldn’t open his eyes. Whether it was the doctor's tight bandaging, or the burns, he decided not to speculate. So Mal chose not to wake up. If he wasn’t opening his eyes anyway, no need to let Simon and Jayne know that he could hear them.

‘He’ll be fine.’

‘This is me, doc, not Kaylee or Wash. If he’s hurt bad, you can say.’

‘I wouldn’t lie. He’ll be fine.’

‘Sure about that, doc? Cause he looks just about as far from fine as I’ve saw him.’

‘I was a trauma surgeon. It’s not the worst I’ve seen.’

Jayne didn’t pick up on the “was” in Simon’s sentence the way Mal did, and went on regardless. ‘You fixed them up?’

Simon paused this time. ‘Yes. Of course, I had slightly better facilities then.’

‘We gonna have a problem?’

‘This would be a lot easier if we still had access to Inara’s contacts.’

‘Want me to give her a wave?’

‘I don’t know that the Captain would appreciate that.’ Simon was right about that one.

‘We got enough time to be worry about that fèi huà?’

‘Jayne, I understand that you’re worried about the Captain, but I am taking the best care of him possible.’

‘Damnit, doc, I know that. All I’m askin is whether or not we need to start looking for another hospital job.’

Simon sighed. ‘It might be an idea. I need a mender that they’re only going to have in an Ophthalmology department of a large hospital. With that, I could bring the recovery time down to three weeks, and guarantee the injuries will recover properly. Without it…’

‘Optha… that’s eyes, right?’

Mal waited for the slight on Jayne’s intelligence that didn’t come. ‘Right.’

‘You want me to go tell Zoë?’

‘If you don’t mind. One thing first. How did this happen?’

‘Told you what happened.’

‘I know, I meant, this. The burns should be worse.’

‘Worse? How much worse do you want him to be?’

‘I mean… typically if there’s an explosion…’

‘How many explosions have you seen, doc?’

‘Before or after getting on this ship?’ Simon gave a long-suffering sigh. ‘Fine. Say, for example, you were cooking and something jumped up. Nine times out of ten, your arms will be severely burnt before your eyes are touched. You throw your arms up to protect your eyes. The Captain’s burns aren’t consistent with that. It’s as if his body was turned away from it, but his head wasn’t. That’s backwards.’

Jayne shuffled his feet and mumbled.

‘Excuse me?’ Simon asked.

‘That’s what happened. He was turned round to push me’n Zoë away cause it was making a noise. He looked over at it to see if it was worth riskin it.’

‘He knew it would explode!?’

‘Dunno if you noticed, doc, but we’re a little short on cash right now.’ Jayne griped.

‘But…’ Simon sputtered.

‘Gonna go tell Zoë now.’ Without any further explanation, Jayne left the room, banging the door as he left.

Mal could hear Simon’s light breathing over his head. He was attached to all manner of beeping machines, but Simon took his wrist and felt the pulse anyway. ‘Of course you heard the ticking and didn’t leave. Why would you?’ Simon’s voice was soft and resigned. He let go of Mal’s wrist and walked across the room. After a few minutes, Mal began to wonder if the doctor was even still there. Before he could work up the enthusiasm to ask, there was a knock at the door.

‘We’re flyin?’ Simon asked. He was still in the room then.

‘I think we’ve taught you bad habits,’ Wash said. He must be the intruder. ‘Your speech used to have a lot more gs.’

‘Yes, when compared to my loss of gs, the new killing people thing I do seems mostly insignificant.’

‘Come on, Simon, how many people have you killed, honestly?’

‘Three.’ Simon answered flatly.

‘Well… remind me not to ask you rhetorical questions again. He okay?’

‘Why does nobody on this boat trust my judgment?’

‘It’s not that,’ Wash said. ‘It’s just… Mal shouldn’t be hurt this bad. Of course, I’d rather it not be me either. Or Zoë of course. And Kaylee should never be… On further reflection I’d much rather Jayne be the hurt one.’

Simon laughed reluctantly. ‘I just wish…’

‘... you were on Osiris?’

‘Not Osiris exactly. Anywhere with proper medical facilities.’

‘Infirmary not homey enough for you?’

‘Bizarrely, I actually do have quite an affection for this place. But when something like this happens…’

‘You need a hospital.’

‘Yes.’

‘We’re on it, doc. You just worry about keeping him well enough to get there.’

‘If there’s anything I can do…’

‘We’ll yell.’

More silence, interrupted only by Simon occasionally moving around the infirmary. He imagined he felt eyes on him, but he couldn’t ask Simon that without revealing that he was awake. And sounding as crazy as the doc’s moon-brain sister on a bad day. So he stayed quiet.

Zoë came in, said a few words to Simon, and then hovered. Again he had that "being watched" feeling, but at least this time he was fairly sure he was right. He thought she had left, but Zoë was good at stealth, so it was impossible to be sure.

‘Is the Captain awake?’ That was the Preacher.

‘If he is, he’s not speaking to me.’

‘Do you mind if I…?’

‘I don’t. The Captain might.’

‘I’ll pray quietly then.’ And sure enough, Book stood by Mal’s bedside whispering words that were vaguely reassuring even if Mal couldn’t make them out.

He drifted off for a while, listening to Book’s prayers and Simon’s soft tapping at the computer. It was Kaylee’s sniffing by his bedside that brought him back to the world.

‘He’s really gonna be okay?’ Kaylee’s voice had tears in it.

Simon made a quiet noise of frustration, but his voice was reassuring. ‘He’ll be fine, Kaylee. I promised, remember?’

‘You weren’t just trying to cheer me up?’

‘Kaylee…’ Simon’s voice was as close as Kaylee’s now.

When she spoke again, it was muffled. She must be crying into Simon’s shoulder. ‘I just… I hate…’

‘I know. But he’ll be fine. Up and bossing you about again in no time,’ Simon said.

‘Shouldn’t he be awake now?’

‘The body takes time to recover. If he’s not awake in a few hours, then we’ll start to be concerned.’

‘Dunno, doc, maybe you want to take advantage of this time you’re not being bossed around?’ Mal said.

‘Captain!’ Kaylee squealed. He felt a small hand work its way into his. ‘You woke up!’

‘Expecting different?’ Mal asked.

‘Of course not. We were all just so worried. Oh! I should tell everyone else. I’ll be right back.’ Her hand drew out of his, and he could hear her patter out of the infirmary towards the kitchen.

Simon was busying himself with the machines. There was a furtive air in the silence. Mal suspected the doctor was trying to build up the courage to tell him. Just this once, he would make it easy on him. ‘It’s gonna be a while, isn’t it? Before you can…’ He gestured towards the bandages round his eyes, wincing as he pulled at the burns on his arm.

Simon’s sigh was part relief and part sadness. ‘Yes. It’s going to be a while.’

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