Entries are sorted in chronological order with most recent entries at the bottom of the page.
Monday, 30 January 2006 10:59:40
Today a poster called me "obsessed". Ok, I admit, I felt hurt. But I have now decided to take it as a compliment. Especially, what is there to deny, even? That I feel uneasy without FireFly or Serenity? I do! Besides, what greater charge do I submit myself to than that of being Love-sick? It is a neediness I gladly fess up to. In fact, I generally spend a good portion of the day trying to keep an open heart, and to stay as much in want of Love as I possibly can (even though I know it sounds contradictory; but it really isn't). So, I remain in Love with River Tam. I mean, after all, what with us building better worlds and all, where exactly would it leave me if I no longer even have ideals of Love? I know reality does not so immediately offer opportunities for Love to the degree of serenity as, well, in Serenity, lol; but I'd say this ere leaves me more in want of Love, than less.
Monday, 30 January 2006 11:40:21
Yesterday I quoted Shakespeare. I probably should not do that too often: makes me look pedantic. But, while saying this, was it not also written, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man"? I believe it was. :) And I believe I can already see its truth. Yesterday, I had sort of a personal epiphany, about what attracts me so intensely to FireFly/Serenity; and I realized it was Love; pure and simple. Today, after reading the board some more, I saw, to my joy, that I am clearly not alone in this perception. "To my joy," I say, as I find it a thing of beauty to behold how people, from all directions the wind may blow, are coming into the realization that it is, in fact, the Love that attracts them to FireFly. It's downright cute to witness, at that. We seem so conditioned to gratification of our base material needs, and setting all our sails to succeeding in just that one area, that when we actually encounter true Love, it really takes us time to process the information, and to become aware of what obscure button inside us got pushed. I mean, it really takes time to even identify Love as such -- so rare it apparently is. At the outset of people's FireFly experiences, I noticed that many, myself included, had their soul already resonate with the Love, long before their brain caught up with the why of being so drawn to this series. Humanity is an interesting species. So, staying the more true to mine own self than ever before. My browncoat ain't gonna go anywhere, any time soon.
Monday, 30 January 2006 22:54:30
News from the Blue Sun Room: PsychicRiver liked my work. Cool. :) Not that I'm hunkering for human validation or anything, lol, but it was good to hear. I think I will lay off publishing "River art" to the Blue Sun Room, for a while, though. People here are so talented, and put up such magnificent work, that I fear I would only find new ways to embarrass myself even further. Must keep that to a minimum. I went over to PsychicRiver's blog, btw, and it seems like a person after my heart. Of course, with a nick like that, what do you expect? Is it a wonder I am drawn to people that are drawn to River? I left a short, but nice message, too. Not entirely sure that this is an appropriate thing to do here. But, I tell you, if it were socially acceptable, I'd hug the entire crowd here! :)
Tuesday, 31 January 2006 06:46:09
Yesterday, I spent some time in the chat-room. Not an altogether 'shiny' experience (I can't believe I just said that!). Folks were talking about fanfic (now there's a word I hadn't heard before, being Dutch and all). But, I dunno, I got to talk; and there was this one guy who's in the habit of writing this smutty stuff between Jayne and River. Now see, I don't like that. Not one bit. Now, don't think I'm getting all prudish on you; I'm a man, too; and she's to die for, so beautiful; I get that. But, to me, she'll always be that "creature of extraordinary grace" because of her innocence and frailty. And I care to see that preserved. They should not be messing with River like that (which is never a good idea to begin with, lol). Now, one of these days I will work up enough courage to actually tell these people off. In the meantime, I'm just groggy in my bloggy, so to speak. And I will make it a good point to avoid the dark; after all, 'shiny' is just a place where people bring their own light. Besides, have you seen River's eyes? Those beautiful wide eyes! They are so telling. Nothing smutty, I assure you, is needed for true Love: "The soul that can speak through the eyes can also kiss with a gaze."