Serenity: Downtime Fan Edit by two

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Serenity: Downtime Fan Edit

POSTED BY: TWO
UPDATED: Sunday, November 21, 2010 08:51
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VIEWED: 9424
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Tuesday, November 16, 2010 7:51 AM

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

I placed my fan edit of Serenity: Downtime (3.89 MB) at
www.mediafire.com/?i34aqc7bae249zm

The unedited, pristine, original version, from last week, of Serenity: Downtime is at
www.mediafire.com/download.php?oroux5zuzdx8k0z

and at USA TODAY
www.usatoday.com/life/comics/2010-11-08-serenity08_ST_N.htm

A sample of before and after fan editing:

All the changes I made to the comic were to increase the realism of the story (blood is red, the windows in the infirmary aren't one-way glass, a Captain will not deliberately make his ship a sitting duck). A few comments about my fan editing:

The blood splatter on River's face magically disappeared between the last panel showing her outside the ship and the next panel of her inside with Simon. Did River wipe black blood upon her sleeve? No, Simon would see. Did she wash in the bathroom? Not enough time. The snow on her feet would have melted as she washed.

It is simpler to keep her face clean. My version removes the blood splatter from River's face in all panels. I kept blood on her hands, but the black blood in the original is now red.

Originally, Book & Kaylee are standing in full view at the window. It is not one-way glass. Jayne can see them peeking at his oozing pustules, therefore I added a Christmas tree to hide Kaylee behind. Mal, aggressively atheistic, gets angry every time he sees that tree, but because the infirmary is Simon's territory, Mal leaves it alone. Oh, also Inara is icy with Mal because he didn't bring back the beef he promised from the outpost.

Mal has the good tactical sense to not make Serenity a sitting duck, but if and only if he does not suspect there are marauders in town, he might take a SMALL risk to please Wash and Zoe. Before I rewrote Mal's dialog, Mal is taking a BIG risk -- he says they need to “run the hell away” from a town “teaming with the lowliest sort.” The town is so evil, Mal has “no intention of headin' back to that outpost” for steaks. By not flying away from town, Mal is ignoring a clear and present danger, which makes no tactical sense.

After I changed a few words of Mal's, he no longer has strong suspicions that troubles are about to fall upon his ship. It is then reasonable for Mal to give Wash and Zoe some free time on the ground.

** Boring Technical Notes **
If you change the suffix from .cbz to .zip ( or .cbr to .rar ) file 'Serenity-Downtime(2010)FanEdit.cbz' can be opened like an ordinary zip file of pictures. The list of changes to the Downtime comic is in a text file inside the cbz file.

To read Serenity: Downtime "cbz" file ("comic book archive zip" file), in its original cbz format, please consider specialized comic readers:
1) CDisplayEX for Windows (I use it.) www.cdisplayex.com/
2) Simple Comic for Mac http://dancingtortoise.com/simplecomic/
3) ComicZeal for iPhone/iPod Touch www.bitolithic.com/ComicZeal/comiczeal.htm
4) Comix for Linux http://comix.sourceforge.net/download.html

The Joss Whedon script for "Serenity", where Wash lives, is
Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/two

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Friday, November 19, 2010 4:29 AM

MICJWELCH

Very nicely done. The "I, also," seems a little awkward, but I'm not sure there's a better option. Overall, I really like it. Thank you.

"Always be yourself. Unless You suck." - Joss Whedon

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Sunday, November 21, 2010 7:02 AM

TWO

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

Quote:
Originally posted by micjwelch:
The "I, also," seems a little awkward...

Inara put enormous meaning into her “I, also.” It meant: “Should we ever become a couple, Malcolm, I'll always remember the Christmas holiday you fed me slop.”
Mal's reply really meant: “Sorry. I didn't realize they would be sold out of luxury food. I'll try again in the next town, where I'll have plenty of cash to buy you steak, lobster, caviar, or whatever, after I get paid for this valuable cargo.”
When Serenity gets to the next town, something will ruin Mal's plans.

The Joss Whedon script for "Serenity", where Wash lives, is
Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/two

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Sunday, November 21, 2010 8:17 AM

WHOZIT

It leaves ya expecting another page.

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Sunday, November 21, 2010 8:51 AM

TWO

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:
It leaves ya expecting another page.

There could always be another page and story with Firefly. It's “Guiding Light” with more violent deaths. (That is a canceled American soap opera. The final episode included the tag line "There is a destiny that makes us FAMILY")

The Joss Whedon script for "Serenity", where Wash lives, is
Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/two

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