GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION TIGHTPANTS 23 fnord

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Monday, April 18, 2005 05:49
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 6:43 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?


Well, here we are. Week 23. Fnord. This is the last week before the first prize drawing in honor of the original release date on Earth-that-was Day. Week 24 will begin the next countdown to Serenity and there will be more prize drawings to come! All winners and honorable mentions will remain eligible for all drawings, so it is never to late to win! Speaking of winning, here is PUMAMANREDUX champion entry for week 22!

Another week, another winner! Shiny! Now onto week 23, where only part of Cap'n Tightpants is shown...

NEW! FROM BLUE FUN TOYS:
Is it Christmas? If it is, be sure to give your favorite Captain a Saff-in-the-box! She has Kung Fu grip and Articulate Action! She's hours of fun for the whole crew! Just remember to never kiss her on the mouth!*

*"Goodnight Kiss" Lipstick and Lassiter sold seperately

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PAST CAPTION TIGHTPANTS:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9360
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760

AND
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 7:29 PM

KAYLEE4SIMON


Mal had a hard time explaining this at the security check point in the airport.

Keep shiny!

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 7:42 PM

RAT




Zoe: Problem sir??

Mal: Couldn't say!


-Ratboy

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 7:58 PM

THEGREYJEDI


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:





MAL: Look at this box of tasty snacks! Yum, Saffron flavored candy!

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 8:20 PM

RAT


JAYNE: What'd you all order a red head for?

-Ratboy

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:00 PM

NUISANCE


Mal: That's the best prize I've ever gotten in a box of Cracker Jacks.

(I know it's a variation on a theme, but the baseball season just started.)

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:10 PM

CHOLLETT


Yo-Saf-Bridge: "..and then he twisted my arm waaaay back like this...."
Mal: "Enough! Stop tellin' stories or i'm shutting you in for another 3 hours without dessert!"

I'll probably think of more.

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:08 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN




Firefly - the show with girls in boxes.

Keep flying

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:09 PM

SOUPCATCHER



Mal: Whoa. Bad cargo.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:52 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN




Desperate for any kind of money, Mal stoops to the mail-order-bride business.

Keep flying

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:01 AM

JRC




Saffron: "Is that a laser in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"


Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:04 AM

JRC




Cap'n's new mail-order, life-like blow-up doll (which looks suspiciously like Saffron) arrives already halfway blown-up.
Mal: "Hmm, now to find out where to put my lips to make the rest of her all articulate. Not that she needs any more articulating."


Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:14 AM

JRC




Saffron: "The crew didn't have enough time to make a fake cake, so they had me come out of this damn box. Happy Birthday!"


Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:20 AM

JRC


You know guys, seeing good old Saffron again ......man oh man......just makes me......wellllllllll.......I'll be in my bunk........
This is MY quote!

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:29 AM

DAIKATH


[img][/img]

They should't have opened the cargo for the borderworld S&M club.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:33 AM

KMS


Quote:





In hopes that her next husband was a BIG man, Saffron packed the grande size condoms.

Or

The Captain catches someone in his portable hot tub.

Or

Against the new doctor’s objections, Mal kicks open the portable cryo-chamber.
Simon (OS) shocked: That isn’t my sister!
Jayne: Can I have her?




KMS!
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ ----Gizzie

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:46 AM

MANTICHORUS




MAL: "...This isn't the engine part I ordered for Kaylee..."

OR

"Curiouser and curiouser..." said Alice -- er, Saffron -- Yolandu -- Bridgette.

--------------------------------------------------
Barret: "I been here since the beginnin', an' I still don't know what the hell's goin' on either."
--------------------------------------------------
"...I'm not a man who likes to swear,
But I've never cared for the sound of bein' alone..." -Neil Diamond, I am... I said.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:54 AM

SIMONWHO


Mal instantly regretted that when he ordered the vacuum packed herbs bulk pack, he hadn't ticked the box marked "No Saffron".

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:06 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Saffron
Open up the other box already and fetch my legs would ya! You can see I can only do half the River dance without them!!

Mal
Er... River Dance?




www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:36 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.


Quote:






Though he knew that the evil Saff-In-A-Box was going to pop out at the end of the tune, Mal couldn't quite stop turning the handle.

OR:

Mal (Singing Under His Breath): All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasle. The monkey thought twas all in fun...

Yo-Saff-Bridge: POP! Goes Yolanda!

OR:

Mal: Gorramit Wash! One of the freeze-dried girls got wet in here!

OR:

Mal: You know the protein packs down in the bottom there? You can keep those.

OR:

Mal liked most of his birthday presents, but Wash and Zoe gave Mal the worst pop-up book ever.

OR:

Finding Saffron amongst the hair dye packs, Mal laughingly exclaims :
Mal: I knew you weren't no redhead!

Saffron: You know, you did see me nekkid, tard!

OR:

Saffron: Whew! You might want to air that out a little, husband. Monty was serving mexican last night.

OR:

Christina Hendricks, desperate to be back on the Firefly set, has herself mailed to Universal studios.

OR:

Yo-Saff-Bridge: Hey, Mal? You wanna close that? I was sleeping!

OR:

Saffron: Where have you been? I've been practicing making foil swans for hours!

OR:

Mal: Just let me get something out of this box...BWAH!

OR:

Saffron: Face it hubby, I'm really hot.

Mal: (Covering his nose) And you smell like it too! How long did I leave you in that box?

There's a few to start with...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:40 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER


Saffron: Didn't the mayor tell you? Part of your payment is the food, and part of it is me. I'm your wife.
Mal: ... Saffron, are you telling me you've pulled this scam so many times you can't even remember the guys you pulled it on?
Saffron: Damn, I knew you looked familiar.


Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:23 AM

KMS


Quote:





Saffron: Nobody expects the Inquisition!


KMS!
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ ----Gizzie


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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:45 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE


[IMG] [/IMG]

A Kill Bill 2 / Firefly crossover:

YO-SAFF-BRIDGE: "How did you find me?"
MAL: "I'm the man."

Or:

WORST GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK...EVER!

Or:

An Ocean's Eleven /Firefly crossover:

YO-SAFF-BRIDGE: "Where the f*** you been?!"

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:59 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER


[IMG] [/IMG]

Sadly, Nathan had to inform Christina that the role of "girl in a box" was already taken.


Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 3:08 AM

THEDUKE


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewmember:
[IMG] [/IMG]



MacDonalds advertising of it's new happy emal menu goes wrong when the free toy list is not assessed thoroughly enough




All of a sudden, tonnes of bratty kids scream;
"What's in the box that always rocks?"

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 3:58 AM

VOLSTOCK


Mal: Jayne?! Come over here and bring Vera.

Jayne (OS): Why you finally ready for a trade?

Mal: No, I just don't trust my Cracker Jack Prize.

______________________________________________________

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:13 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.


Quote:


[IMG] [/IMG]




Some more? Okay:

Hasbro's new "Bitch In A Box" debuts today. Scores of unsuspecting men cry later :"Where's my wallet?"

OR:

The spice "rack" Mal ordered took him by surprise. He wasn't expecting Saffron.

OR:

Saffron: Mal, would you mind shaving?

Mal: Just shut up and get back in your "room".

OR:

After hitting the wrong pop-up ad after a night of Cortex-Surfing, Mal found that he had accidentally ordered a "Box-O-Con"

OR:

Mal: Actually, Saffron, the toliet's thattaway.

OR:

Mal: (After opening box) Is it Christmas?

OR:

Saffron: Mal, could you help me out, there appears to be a young girl already in this box.

OR:

Saffron, unable to kick her mean TV Dinner addiction, is unable to hide her habit any longer.

OR:

Mal: When you and Inara were discussing "boxes", I don't think that's what she had in mind.


(Oh, I'm going to hell for that last one.)

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:23 AM

WICCANSLYR


Mal: Gorramit Wash, I told you NOT to pull over!

Or

Mal: Whoa, good plan.

or

Mal: Hey Jayne, wanna make that trade now, she even comes with her own stow and go!

Or

Yo~Saf~Brig: You know, it was really hot in there. Do I smell?

OR

River (off screen): My reveal was better.

OR

River (off screen): Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt.

OR

Summer (off screen to Joss): Hey! You said girls in boxes had to be naked!

OR

Jayne (off screen): Now Monty's give'n you girls?
Yo~Saf~Brig: That seem right to you?

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:31 AM

WICCANSLYR


Quote:

Originally posted by KMS:
Quote:





Saffron: Nobody expects the Inquisition!


KMS!
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ ----Gizzie




Funny but you should has said:

Saf: Nobody expects a girl in a box!

Mal: Actually...

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:38 AM

WICCANSLYR


One more:

Comic Book Guy (off screen): Worst reuse of a gag EVER!

Joss (off screen): Hey! Who let the animated fat guy in?

*Edit to change Box to Book

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:44 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL


Quote:

Originally posted by Wiccanslyr:

Summer (off screen to Joss): Hey! You said girls in boxes had to be naked!



HA! That is soooo funny.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 5:42 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.


Quote:





Wow, crudity abounds! Some more? Okay:

Mal: Apparently, I can hide two siblings, scores of stolen Alliance cargo, and a herd of cattle aboard this boat, but I can't hide my Kit-Kats well enough.

Saffron: Aw Mal, gimme a break!

OR:

Mal: No, I do not want to see your "I'm a Little Teapot" routine!

OR:

Protein Pack Smothered Saffron: Its What's For Dinner.

OR:

Mal: You big baby! Oh wait, that's Inara's line, and it comes later in this episode, doesn't it?

OR:

When Jayne was in his bunk dreaming about a protein covered Saffron, this wasn't what he had in mind.

OR:

The Serenity Spaceship Players tried to mount a production of "Arsenic and Old Lace" but Saffron couldn't perform the part of "Mr. Spinallzo". She had a condition.

OR:

Mal: Not so articulate with your clothes on, stuffed in a box for a few hours, are ya?

OR:

Mal: (To the rest of the crew) You guys should try this, she doesn't seem to be learning! (Waits for Saffron to raise her head a little more and slams lid down)

Saffron: OW!

Zoe: I want a turn, sir!

OR:

With the mounting costs of space funerals on the rise, Malcolm Reynolds invests in smallers coffins...Also, he doesn't wait for his bride to be dead yet.

OR:

Mal: Like I told you, someone tries to stuff you in a box, you try to stuff 'em right back.

OR:

Worst Jewelry/Musicbox Ever!

OR:

Even though Mal was mad at her, Saffron knew she could win him over with her orangutang impression.

OR:

Saffron: I once caught a fish THIS tall!

Mal: Its "this big", not tall...you know what, just stay in there.

OR:

Mal: When I asked you if you wanted to play in the "Reynolds Wrap", that's not what I meant.

OR:

Mal couldn't help laughing at Saffron until she prepared the deadly and powerful "Kamehameha Wave".




Yep...crude, crude crude, plus, a Dragonball Z reference!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:07 AM

EST120


Quote:

Originally posted by StarPilotGrainger:
Saffron: Didn't the mayor tell you? Part of your payment is the food, and part of it is me. I'm your wife.
Mal: ... Saffron, are you telling me you've pulled this scam so many times you can't even remember the guys you pulled it on?
Saffron: Damn, I knew you looked familiar.


Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."



ha ha. this one is pretty funny.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:16 AM

ZOOT


Quote:

Originally posted by manwithpez:
Quote:






Mal: (To the rest of the crew) You guys should try this, she doesn't seem to be learning! (Waits for Saffron to raise her head a little more and slams lid down)

Saffron: OW!

Zoe: I want a turn, sir!





He ehehheheeheeee

I just laughed until tea came out my nose! My colleague in the room next door just bounded in to say "drafting contracts shouldn't be that funny!" I am so rumbled!

**************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:30 AM

JRC


[/IMG]

Saffron: "I'd heard that these Japanese hotels were compact, but THIS is ridiculous!"
Cap'n: "Don't worry 'bout it honey, just turn around and move over a little bit...."


Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 8:34 AM

RYCE


Jayne (OS): Mal! You have a package!
Saffron: I'll say he does.

or

Mal: Ohhh, when you said 'avail yourself of my trade', you meant trading cards! Wait right there, I'll get my pen and peanuts!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:11 AM

KESSIE


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:





Nathan: And here I thought Joss` "how to store recurring actors more cheaply thing" was only a rumor!!

They say it’s the last song
They don’t know us, you see
Its only the last song
If we let it be

http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:37 AM

ODDNESS2HER


MAL: 'Night, sweetie. (Shuts box)

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 10:42 AM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Quote:

Originally posted by Wiccanslyr:

Summer (off screen to Joss): Hey! You said girls in boxes had to be naked!



HA! That is soooo funny.



Yeah, I concur. *L* Poor Summer.

*secretly wishes they had shown more*

Keep flying

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 10:56 AM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN




Nathan: Ok, at this point I think Joss has some kind of box fetish

Joss (from back of room): I heard that! I can kill your character you know!

OR

Protein pack ad : And for a limited time, buy the deluxe protein package, and get a bride ABSOLUTELY FREE! Call now, operators are standing by.

OR

Joss: I told you! Girls in boxes have to be naked!

Christina: Oh come on, isn't one nude scene enough?

OR

Mal: JAAAYNE!! I thought I told you, no mail-order brides!

Jayne: Aw c'mon Mal, I had to trade in Vera to afford this one!

OR

Mal: Ok, at this point I'm just gonna stop opening mysterious boxes. Zoe, we're going to get our mail now, right?

(he never learns, does he?)

Keep flying

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 11:06 AM

ZOL


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:





Mal "Jayne! your blowup Safron doll has inflated again"

Jayne "Gorram it Mal, Just because I took your Blowup Inara Doll, Don`t mean you have to mess with my stuff - I was in my Bunk"

Darin (Zol.)

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 11:14 AM

WICCANSLYR


Yet Another:

Saffron: ...and that's how I know that Jayne really AIN'T a girl!

ETA:

Christina: You know from this angle your nose really *is* huge!


If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:20 PM

DARKJESTER




Christina: "I could SO have played River! I can fit in a box like Summer, I have the ballerina arm-twist like Summer - what's she got that I don't got?!?"

OR

YoSafBrig: "Hi Mal sugar - is that an orange tie-down strap or are you just happy to see...... oh."

OR

Blue Sun footlocker - 70 credits.
Blue Sun foil food packs - 3 credits.
Saffron trunk liner - how much ya got?




MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:31 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA


I have two.


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:






Saffron: Who's the Man-Ape-Gone-Wrong that keeps dropping this damn box??

and

Saffron: Ow, I must've hit my head, 'cause I have a huge bump right here.

Jayne(OS): It looks like you hit your chest twice, too.

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:48 PM

LOSTINTHEBLACK


Just when Saffron thought no one was looking, Mal opened the box and caught her in mid pit-smell check.

or...

Saffron: Oh, Mal, I was just...
Mal: Wow, and I thought cattle were the worst smelling cargo I'd ever transport.

"Forget that. Have you ever been with a warrior woman?"

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 3:21 PM

CHOLLETT


ok here's more.....

Mal took pride in watching as Saffron tried to find the "Kick Me" sign on her back. Why she was in a box, though, he wasn't quite sure.



"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:23 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?


Quote:





MAL: Gorramit, Tracey! Ain't you dead yet? And why the hell do you look like my ex-not-wife?

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760

AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:42 PM

ASTRAGYNIA


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:




Saffron: See, now I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time! ...Can I get out of the box now?

--- OR ---

Saffron: Ow..Mal.. my hair is caught in the lid...

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:32 PM

GAZERBEAM


My first entries, so be gentle :)

Yo-Saf-Bridge: Just in time! I think I found some Cilantro down at the bottom.

OR

Mal: OK, so the magician was a thief, but why do you expect me to help you find your lower half?

OR

Mal: That is one tiny bunk
Yo-Saf-Bridge: Why haven't you called Geico?

OR

Yo-Saf-Bridge: Shut the lid! I'm reading ghost stories.

OR

Yo-Saf-Bridge: I've got problems? Honey, I've only been in a box half my size locked away for hours with poor air circulation. You had sex with a Fox exec."

OR

Badger would be upset that, while this cargo wasn't imprinted, it WAS passed around a bit.

OR

Yo-Saf-Bridge finds out how the electronic thumb works.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:39 PM

SHINY





YoSafBridge: No really, Mal! I've taken up bounty hunting now. By the way, have you seen a little man, 'bout yea high, loves fire?




Jayne, your mouth is talkin. Might want to look into that.

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