GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Club Confused

POSTED BY: KAYSKY
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 30, 2005 18:54
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Friday, March 11, 2005 5:50 AM

KAYSKY


Are you ever just confused?

I know I am. Feel free to vent your confusion in this thread and hopefully someone will be able to help make you less confused.

I've nominated myself as President of "Club Confused" and Rat as Vice President. I'm sure we could use some other committee people though. The more the merrier, right?

Now, on to the first order of confused business...

Why do those gorram little tags under the mattress say it's illegal to remove? If you ask me the mattress companies are just asking for trouble by having them there. People like to do what they aren't allowed to.

****
Confusion affects 4 out of every 5 men and woman each day. Don't let yourself be another victim.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 5:53 AM

KNIBBLET


You want confused? Try putting together a piece of furniture when the instructions are written by some guy in China who had an English dictionary shown to him once in the 3rd grade.



"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Friday, March 11, 2005 6:01 AM

BLEYDDYN


You should buy your furniture from IKEA. Most of it is made in Sweden, or some other cold northern land. All of the instructions are completely graphical, no words at all, and actually quite easy to follow.

I mean, I've put together one bed and two DVD cases, so you know it's easy and very not-confusing-making.

--Bleyddyn

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Friday, March 11, 2005 7:13 AM

LISSA


why are guys completely unintelligible and completely clear at the same time?

~lissa, spwhore

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Friday, March 11, 2005 7:33 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


lissa wrote:
Friday, March 11, 2005 07:13
Quote:

why are guys completely unintelligible and completely clear at the same time?

~lissa, spwhore



Shhh it's a secret lissa

In terms of confussion:

•How come you never see baby camels?

•Why are there different languages - no seriously think about it. How'd that happen?

•If our Universe is expanding what the hell is it expanding in?!?!?!?!?! And how much more room is there for it to expand????

•Also what am I gonna have for dinner tonight?

The
Somnambulist

(Oh by the way here in England we don't have those tags so we can pull apart our matresses.)

www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
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Friday, March 11, 2005 7:58 AM

RAT


I'm late, but I'm here!


Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Oh by the way here in England we don't have those tags so we can pull apart our matresses.



Every one needs a national past time!

-Ratboy

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:06 AM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by Bleyddyn:
You should buy your furniture from IKEA.



I totally agree. I've put together a bed, a dresser, a bookcase, and two end tables. I didn't even have any leftover parts! And the bed has been tested to withstand force.

IKEA is wonderful. Easy to put together and very durable. Definitely KaySky approved!

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:10 AM

EST120


Quote:

Originally posted by Bleyddyn:
You should buy your furniture from IKEA. Most of it is made in Sweden, or some other cold northern land. All of the instructions are completely graphical, no words at all, and actually quite easy to follow.

I mean, I've put together one bed and two DVD cases, so you know it's easy and very not-confusing-making.

--Bleyddyn



actually, from the odd news department, ikea is being sued by someone for "gender biased" instruction manuals because they only show men putting together furniture and not women implying that women are unable to put together furniture.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=857&ncid=757&e=10&u=/n
m/20050310/od_uk_nm/oukoe_life_ikea_sex


as for the mattress tags, i thought that was only for the retailers and that once the mattress is purchased, you can rip the tag off any way you like.


here is my contribution to the thread:
why do gas stations do the 9/10 of a cent thing? i would imagine that most people are not stupid enough to be taken in my this little ploy. just round it up for crying out loud!

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:11 AM

KAYSKY


Quote:

•Also what am I gonna have for dinner tonight?
The
Somnambulist
(Oh by the way here in England we don't have those tags so we can pull apart our matresses.)



Well, Friday night is pizza night in my household, so I hope that helps. And in reference to the mattress tags, I guess the good old USA just doesn't know how to have fun. Maybe I should consider moving. England sounds like fun.

****

Pizza and Beer: The two MOST important food groups.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:40 AM

INDIGO


Road signs: one of my favorites is on the way to a friends house way up in the mountains -- the sign at the turn off says: "Dead End for Two Miles". And then what? Funny thing is, there's a cemetary right at the beginning of the road and I think it'd be better to say "Dead End, but Keep Going".

Business signs: "Accurate Bookeeping". I sure as hell hope so.

Menu items: I love to read translations when travelling. My favorite while in Greece: "Intestines in Spit". Oh my god.

----
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:47 AM

ZOID


lissa opined:
Quote:

why are guys completely unintelligible and completely clear at the same time?


Umm, ditto?

...And one for the fairer gender: Why do fems always start in the middle of a conversation? That is, they'll be stewing over some issue in their mind for at least 15 minutes (if not days), and then ask their poor, put-upon male a question based on such ruminations without any preamble whatsoever.

My wife presumes this 'psychic connection' all the time, and it drives me bonkers... I'm not really sure, but I think lissa just pulled the same routine, here.


Respectfully,

zoid

P.S.
By "ruminations", I don't mean to imply that women are ruminants.
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:47 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by Rat:
I'm late, but I'm here!


Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Oh by the way here in England we don't have those tags so we can pull apart our matresses.



Every one needs a national past time!

-Ratboy



Damn straight! Add this to the ubiquitous pillow fight and your set!

www.cirqus.com
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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:51 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:
Quote:

Originally posted by Bleyddyn:
You should buy your furniture from IKEA.



I totally agree. I've put together a bed, a dresser, a bookcase, and two end tables. I didn't even have any leftover parts! And the bed has been tested to withstand force.

IKEA is wonderful. Easy to put together and very durable. Definitely KaySky approved!



Hey dunno if you heard about this, but here (UK) a couple of weeks ago IKEA in London had a sale on and apparently all hell broke loose as people barged each other to reach the store! Some poor guy was knifed and several fights ensued aswell as people abandoning their cars along the motorway (Freeway) to reach the store. It was total pandamonium!! Must be some kinda furniture!!! Was Jesus the carpenter or something?



www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:55 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:
Quote:

•Also what am I gonna have for dinner tonight?
The
Somnambulist
(Oh by the way here in England we don't have those tags so we can pull apart our matresses.)



Well, Friday night is pizza night in my household, so I hope that helps. And in reference to the mattress tags, I guess the good old USA just doesn't know how to have fun. Maybe I should consider moving. England sounds like fun.

****

Pizza and Beer: The two MOST important food groups.



Pizza huh? I was going more for fish tonight but shucks OK you swayed me :) Pizza it is. Maybe I'll have tuna as the topping.....No anchovies though yukkk!!

I emplore you consider England for many things; rolling landscapes, quaint shops and old world buildings, it's history, cricket, it's relatively low crime rate and it's wonderful theatre... But fun!!!! No I don't think so :)

We're still looking the meaning up in the dictionary.

www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:59 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by Indigo:
Road signs: one of my favorites is on the way to a friends house way up in the mountains -- the sign at the turn off says: "Dead End for Two Miles". And then what? Funny thing is, there's a cemetary right at the beginning of the road and I think it'd be better to say "Dead End, but Keep Going".



Indigo that is hilarious! You really made me laugh with this. Nice observation.

Quote:

Originally posted by Indigo::
Menu items: I love to read translations when travelling. My favorite while in Greece: "Intestines in Spit". Oh my god.



Ewww that'd be tripe then. My dad loves tripe, much to the whole families dismay



www.cirqus.com
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Friday, March 11, 2005 9:05 AM

EMBERS


Quote:

Originally posted by zoid:
lissa opined:
Quote:

why are guys completely unintelligible and completely clear at the same time?


Umm, ditto?

...And one for the fairer gender: Why do fems always start in the middle of a conversation? That is, they'll be stewing over some issue in their mind for at least 15 minutes (if not days), and then ask their poor, put-upon male a question based on such ruminations without any preamble whatsoever.

I think lissa just pulled the same routine, here



LOL
if it makes you feel any better,
I've seen women do this to each other...
so often in e-mail someone will jump into a response to something that was discussed a month ago...
and I'm all???huh???

ruminatingly,
Maribeth AKA embers

and BTW I also love the IKEA...but I've put together the bookshelf where I've put some shelves in upsidedown or wrongly placed because the pieces weren't labled and the pictures weren't clear...
but maybe that is the problem, maybe women really CAN'T follow the directions?
I better not testify in the civil case, huh?

and regarding the mattress tags...
only NEW mattresses have them...
and I thought all the mattresses in the UK were at least a hundred years old
(now I'm gonna get it)

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Friday, March 11, 2005 9:31 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

embers:
and regarding the mattress pads...
only NEW mattresses have them...
and I thought all the mattresses in the UK were at least a hundred years old
(now I'm gonna get it)



Ohhh.

Nah you're alright. Some matresses are!.... And would you believe people come from far afield to go around old stately homes here in England to see 'em.... Crazy world really....

...But back to the original question - why are they on your matresses over there in the US? What happens if you do pull the tags off? Is there like a matress police? Would you be arrested, fined, imprissioned sent to a far away land what?

I must know the world is becoming crazier with every post!!!

The
Somnambulist



www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
http://www.cirqus.com/lightfantastic.html

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Friday, March 11, 2005 9:45 AM

CYBERSNARK


Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
What happens if you do pull the tags off? Is there like a matress police?

It's kinda like the pin on a big springy grenade. . .

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 9:59 AM

BLEYDDYN


Here's a confusing one. I used to write accounting software. Every package I ever worked on had what was called a 'cash' account. The confusing bit is that if someone gives you money, you subtract the amount they gave you from that 'cash' account.

For four years I worked on accounting software and I still never understood that one.

--Bleyddyn

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Friday, March 11, 2005 10:13 AM

INDIGO


Quote:

Originally posted by Indigo::
Menu items: I love to read translations when travelling. My favorite while in Greece: "Intestines in Spit". Oh my god.



Ewww that'd be tripe then. My dad loves tripe, much to the whole families dismay




Ehg, I agree. "Intestines *on* a spit" is called Kolokokaretsia (sp?) -- it's been generally outlawed in Europe as a health hazard! I couldn't agree more. Pleh. Still, the folks in Crete usually interprete the law as merely a "suggestion". Generally though, I love Greek food (ok, though after living there for a few years I really, really wanted a burrito).

A favorite site of mine for really delightful cross-cultural mistranslations is http://www.engrish.com



----
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 10:21 AM

INDIGO


Quote:

Originally posted by Cybersnark:
Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
What happens if you do pull the tags off? Is there like a matress police?

It's kinda like the pin on a big springy grenade. . ./B]



Boom!
I admit to a certain trepidation when pulling those things off. The hair rises up the back of your neck, you peek over your shoulder and into the corners to check for tag police, and then stealthily *rip* the little off! Hah! Ah hah, hah, hah! Take that tag police, I defy you!

Yes, I admit to wierdness.

Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 12:39 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
I emplore you consider England for many things; rolling landscapes, quaint shops and old world buildings, it's history, cricket, it's relatively low crime rate and it's wonderful theatre... But fun!!!! No I don't think so :)

We're still looking the meaning up in the dictionary.



Well, I'm sure if I did visit England all the locals would be saying, "Oh god, not another one of those stupid American girls".

Afterall, once I moved South all I heard was, "Oh god, not another one of those stupid yankees".

****

Love me. Hate me. Whatever you choose, I'm still me.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 12:43 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
...But back to the original question - why are they on your matresses over there in the US? What happens if you do pull the tags off? Is there like a matress police? Would you be arrested, fined, imprissioned sent to a far away land what?



There are police. They come after you. Two by two, hands of blue.

****

How can pulling off the tags be so wrong when it feels so right?

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Friday, March 11, 2005 1:28 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by lissa:
why are guys completely unintelligible and completely clear at the same time?

~lissa, spwhore



On the subject of men, do they really like blonds better?

I just spent $150 and 3 hrs. of my day at the salon changing my hair to blond yet again. After the salon I stopped by a sandwich shop to pick up something to drink and I get asked out by the sandwich guy. I've been to that sandwich shop at least a dozen times in the last few months and he's waited on me, but now suddenly that I'm blond I get asked out. I so do not get that.

Please, men, enlighten me.

****

Being clueless is a good thing.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 1:38 PM

STATIC


I don't know about 'confused'. . .

but this falls into the category of "Things I Don't Know . . .but things I Do Know."


I DON'T know why there's a headlight on the vaccum cleaner.

I DO know that it scares the crap out of the cat.




==================================================
http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com/

Evil, Lecherous Hump

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Friday, March 11, 2005 1:43 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by Static:
I don't know about 'confused'. . .
but this falls into the category of "Things I Don't Know . . .but things I Do Know."
I DON'T know why there's a headlight on the vaccum cleaner.
I DO know that it scares the crap out of the cat.



Silly, the headlight is there so you can see while vaccuming in the dark!

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Friday, March 11, 2005 1:45 PM

COZEN


Possibly because a wide array of men are so clueless they assume that blonde on top equals blonde everywhere, ergo less intimidating....

Then again, whadda I know 'bout anything?

Regarding confusing highway signs. Riding through the Nevada desert one fine day, I passed a sign, said, "Watch for low flying airplanes".

Huh? And, like, if I spotted one, what exactly should I have done about it?

***
baldness sucks

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Friday, March 11, 2005 1:50 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by cozen:
Regarding confusing highway signs. Riding through the Nevada desert one fine day, I passed a sign, said, "Watch for low flying airplanes".



It was either Nevada or Arizona where I passed by the lovely sign, "Do not stop for hitchhikers, may be escaped prisoners".
Who's brilliant idea was it to build a prison along side the highway with no fencing seperating the highway and the prison anyways?

****
If only I was Paris Hilton. Then I could lead "The Simple Life".

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Friday, March 11, 2005 2:06 PM

RAT


Quote:

Originally posted by Indigo:
Menu items: I love to read translations when travelling. My favorite while in Greece: "Intestines in Spit".



One time Jay Leno had a headline that was a menu from a spanish restaurant, selling "Old Clothes". I just about died laughing! I mean how many editors have to see somethnig before it gets on the air!

-Ratboy

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Friday, March 11, 2005 2:16 PM

RAT


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:
I passed by the lovely sign, "Do not stop for hitchhikers, may be escaped prisoners".



Once saw a sign that said "senior service center"!

-Ratboy

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Friday, March 11, 2005 2:55 PM

LISSA


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:

On the subject of men, do they really like blonds better?

I just spent $150 and 3 hrs. of my day at the salon changing my hair to blond yet again. After the salon I stopped by a sandwich shop to pick up something to drink and I get asked out by the sandwich guy. I've been to that sandwich shop at least a dozen times in the last few months and he's waited on me, but now suddenly that I'm blond I get asked out. I so do not get that.

Please, men, enlighten me.

****

Being clueless is a good thing.



thank god i'm naturally blond:D

was the sandwich guy cute?

~lissa, spwhore

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Friday, March 11, 2005 3:39 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL


Quote:

Originally posted by Static:
I DON'T know why there's a headlight on the vaccum cleaner.



I know! or at least I think I know...
The little light is there so you can see under the things you're vacuuming. Like the couch or a dresser or something. See, doesn’t that make sense....a little?

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
--Aldous Huxley

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Friday, March 11, 2005 5:04 PM

CASUALTY


Yes the light being there to see under objects does make a lot of sense. I, however am scared of Vacuum cleaners and am not entirely sure why. I freak out if someone comes near me with one!

Someone asked me this question about a year ago, and it's been bugging the hell out of me ever since:-

Why, when narrowly avoiding something, do we call it a 'near miss'? Surely it's a 'near hit'? You missed the damn thing!

Also, why is Dyslexic(sp) such a difficult word to spell? Genius!

"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"

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Friday, March 11, 2005 5:04 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by lissa:
was the sandwich guy cute?



Oh he was a hottie. I have a weird thing for Michael Shanks as Daniel Jackson and the sandwich guy definitely reminded me of the fine looking archeologist.

Colonel O'Neill is a hottie as well. So I just need to find a look-a-like of him and then I can throw my very own weird little party.

Yep, I've said too much.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 7:02 PM

RAT


Quote:

Originally posted by Casualty:
Someone asked me this question about a year ago, and it's been bugging the hell out of me ever since:-

Why, when narrowly avoiding something, do we call it a 'near miss'? Surely it's a 'near hit'? You missed the damn thing!



And why do we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

-Ratboy

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Friday, March 11, 2005 7:04 PM

RAT


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:
Yep, I've said too much.



Yep!

-Ratboy

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 7:51 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:

On the subject of men, do they really like blonds better?



Nope.

Quote:


I just spent $150 and 3 hrs. of my day at the salon changing my hair to blond yet again.



If you passed by my way you could have saved yourself 150bucks!



The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
http://www.cirqus.com/lightfantastic.html

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 7:54 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by Static:
I DON'T know why there's a headlight on the vaccum cleaner.



Me neither but I wish my vaccum cleaner had one!

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
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Sunday, March 13, 2005 7:57 AM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
If you passed by my way you could have saved yourself 150bucks!



Well I guess you'll have to give me directions for the next time.

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 10:06 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:
Quote:

Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
If you passed by my way you could have saved yourself 150bucks!



Well I guess you'll have to give me directions for the next time.







www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
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Sunday, March 13, 2005 11:37 AM

SOUTHERNSLAYER


Male nipples..... WHY?

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 11:53 AM

CASUALTY


I have a friend who loves man nipples! She's nuts.

Also did anyone else notice that in the Disney version of Aladdin, Aladdin has no nipples! Very odd. Also Jasmine's eyes are furthur apart than her waiste.

"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 12:01 PM

SOUTHERNSLAYER


Come to think of it did the genie have nipples?

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 12:40 PM

KAYSKY


Quote:

Originally posted by SouthernSlayer:
Come to think of it did the genie have nipples?



Not sure on that one. But he is a genie so if he didn't have them, he could always give himself them.

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Sunday, March 13, 2005 8:37 PM

NUMEROCINCUENTAUNO


Quote:



On the subject of men, do they really like blonds better?



Coincidentally, earlier today and apropos of nothing, I remembered the following response of a mature man on the subject from DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, and wondered how they managed to get away with it:

Bond: "Weren't you a blonde when I came in?"
Tiffany: "Could be."
Bond: "I tend to notice little things like that, whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette."
Tiffany: "And which do you prefer?"
Bond: "Oh, providing the collars and cuffs match..."

Irony of referring to James Bond as mature duly noted.

For the rest of us, it is a purely limbic response:

Blonde = young
Young = fertile
Fertile = me want make babies
Babies = me want skip town

You asked. I like to think a few of us manage to rise above the purely reptilian brain on rare occasions. Hence the confusion.



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Monday, March 14, 2005 3:28 AM

CHANI


I have to protest Sonnombulist! I have seen a baby camel. In fact many a baby camel was seen during my 5 year stint living in Dubai. They are very cute. I almost forgot how ugly and smelly they become later in life.

Chani

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Monday, March 14, 2005 4:05 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Quote:

Originally posted by Chani:
I have to protest Sonnombulist! I have seen a baby camel. In fact many a baby camel was seen during my 5 year stint living in Dubai. They are very cute. I almost forgot how ugly and smelly they become later in life.

Chani



Hey that's so cool. No need to protest I'm sure they exsisted - just I've never seen one. And they never seem to be the focus of any Natural World programmes on TV so It was just a mystery to me. It's about one of the few animals that seems to receive no TV coverage. If I were a camel I'd be really offended -

It's always the lions, and there "Awww soo cute cubs!!"

"Pah!!!"

I'd be like :

" Hey camera men - check out my hump!! Look It's an iddy biddy cute lil' hump wanna take some photos??? I can chew funny too!! Wanna hear a joke - A lion an Elephant and a ..."

And they'd be all like:

"...Nah we're gonna watch some cute cubs rip apart a wilderbeast that the lioness brought back - aawww so cute"

and I'd be like:

"Damn!! I just can't compete with that!"

Not easy being a camel.....

So do baby camels have humps?

The
Somnambulist



www.cirqus.com
For Pictures:
http://www.cirqus.com/lightfantastic.html

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005 8:30 AM

ODDNESS2HER


Static, if the vacuum literally "scares the crap out of the cat" I hope it's an especially powerful (and odor absorbing) one. Otherwise, the whole exercise is self-defeating.

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:18 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL


Quote:

Originally posted by KaySky:
On the subject of men, do they really like blonds better?


I hear folks say that all the time, but when it comes down to practical application...the blondes are always sitting by themselves at the bar, wandering alone in the store, or flitting around with girlfriends. I think guys prefer the auburn and russet tresses of the world.



I've been wrong before I cold be wrong on this too.


www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
--Aldous Huxley

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:19 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL


I've always wanted to double post

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