Holiday message from Joss by embers

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Holiday message from Joss

POSTED BY: EMBERS
UPDATED: Saturday, January 1, 2005 13:44
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Friday, December 31, 2004 5:25 AM

Joss Whedon occassionally (rarely) posts here:
http://whedonesque.com/?comments=5677#more
and this is what he said:
--------------------------------------
Well, the great thing about nobody posting on comic book threads is now I can be first or nearfirst, and this can be like my own personal thread made up by me.

As the new year comes tumbling at us like a giant, heaving sack of meat, gristle and hoof-parts, making some kind of horrible screeching and staring at us with its one bloodsoaked eyeball, the joys of Christmas and family make one reflect mellowly on what we've learned in this year. I'd like to share a little of that with you all, unless you are under the age of eleven or between the ages of twenty four and twenty six. (These yuletide musings contain violence, partial nudity, and strong and often incoherent language.) (May contain peanuts.)

Movies: They're hard to make. You have to work for a long time and have a lot of thoughts. And you can't just make Tim do everything for you like before.

Flans: They keep us going. And they retain the shape of the ramekin when you turn them over, like jello does.

Stalin: Killed maybe twenty million people, but the last four million he was just phoning it in.

Compassion: It's the thing where other people talk and you care about their stuff or something -- my wife tried to explain it, but I was in and out.

Happiness: Nothing is more wonderful than the sight of your own baby in your arms. And nothing is more annoying than people who tell you that.

Kill Bill: Long.

J.J. Abrams: Mysterious. Has taken my writers but made no demands, not even a note. He did send me Drew's ear, but I just think Drew was finished with it.

Cheese popcorn: Still important.

Serenity: uhh... nothing comes to mind. Doesn't it mean, like, peacefulness or something?

April: Amazingly enough, actually IS the cruelest month.

Resolutions: Too many to tell, and some are federally incriminating. I'm not perfect (I'm prefectly PROPORTIONED, which is where that confusion comes in) and I've taken a cold hard look at my self in the wane of aught four. There's changes. Work to be done. I plan to be a better, more focussed person next year, and if at all possible, have a bionic arm.

I also resolve to write more. Not like, BENDIS more, but a lot. And maybe have some protien shakes, so my body stays in good enough shape to hold up my bionic arm, which will probably be heavy.

Santa Claus: A vicious lie. (But A Christmas Carol really did happen, with the ghosts and all.)

Wonder Woman: Hmmmm....

Well, kids, the fire is slowly dying, like my kidneys, so let's call it a night. Tomorrow I put on a little hat and raise a glass of champagne for another rotation around the sun. I may stay up till ten. Thank you all for a great year made greater by your community. And remember, stay in school. But after all, isn't the circus a kind of school? A school of life, with dwarfs and sweaty carnies and elephants instead of learning. Stay in school or at the circus. Or in a parking lot. Or somehwere with plants, and ferns. Please leave.

Happy holidays! -- The Remains of Joss Whedon.
joss | December 31, 12:05 CET

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Friday, December 31, 2004 5:46 AM

CYBERSNARK

I thought Santa Claus was a demon. Like Anya said.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Friday, December 31, 2004 7:06 AM

EMBERS

for those of you...who like me, need annotation:

flan is food cooked in a mold called a ramekin
http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/appetizers/apveg/garlicflan.html

JJ Abrams created 'Lost' and has hired lots of former ME writers...but hasn't set a ransome yet.

Bendis writes WAY too many comic books
(and I hope that Joss isn't saying he is only going to write more comic books...because I want TV shows!)

and compassion is only for girly-men

HAPPY NEW YEAR BROWNCOATS!
love from, Maribeth (embers)

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Friday, December 31, 2004 7:27 AM

ZOID

In keeping with the spirit of cross-posting messages from other boards into multiple threads on this board, here's my perfectly insensitive commentary from the other 'Joss Holiday Message' thread, in its entirety...

Thanks, SpookyJay (how's your brother, 'Silent', btw?) for The Cross-post to us poor relations of Whedonesque and various OBs.

Since Joss will obviously never read anything we say here on skid row, I've got some observations on his holiday greetings and well-wishes(?):

First, a definition from Merriam-Webster Online:
One entry found for ramekin.
Main Entry: ram·e·kin
Variant(s): also ram·e·quin /'ram-k&n, 'ra-mi-/
Function: noun
Etymology: French ramequin, from Low German ramken, diminutive of ram cream
1 : a preparation of cheese especially with bread crumbs or eggs baked in a mold or shell...

Jello with cheese, bread crumbs and eggs? Mmmm-ahhh-licious! On the other hand, I ain't so sure about that 'ram cream' thing. Remember 4-H'ers and FFA'ers: Animal husbandry's a fine calling, so long as you don't take it too literally.

Joss sed:

Quote:
...(May contain peanuts.)

Scat and Yuletide. And y'all thought I was crude! Is there any wonder I love this guy so much?

JW went on to posit:

Quote:
Stalin: Killed maybe twenty million people, but the last four million he was just phoning it in.

It's politically incorrect of me to add my own thoughts to his observations on 'GOB' Joe, but it's totally appropros for my particular idiom, so here goes: There may be other pretenders to the crown, like Pol Pot or S. Hussein; but does anyone really do mass murder of civilian countrymen as well -- as methodically -- as the Average White Idiot Male? I mean guys like Hitler and Stalin were not exactly geniuses, but they had hatred and viciousness in spades, and they managed to parlay those attributes into successful careers as monsters. Like I said, inhumanity does not belong to any particular race, creed or sex; but White Guys always seem to raise it to an art form, an industrial endeavor, a systematic exercise. (I'm a White Man, so be careful how you respond to this notion. I know where you live, where your family, friends, their friends and everyone who goes to your church lives. I've got a great tract of land picked out to move you onto, where we can keep you until we get the machinery running.)

JayDub gushed on:

Quote:
Compassion: It's the thing where other people talk and you care about their stuff or something -- my wife tried to explain it, but I was in and out.

Happiness: Nothing is more wonderful than the sight of your own baby in your arms. And nothing is more annoying than people who tell you that.

Ah, family life! Without it, we'd all go crazy. Or is it the other way around?

'Josh Wheadon' then added:

Quote:
Cheese popcorn: Still important.

God hath spoken. Note to self: Must petition local cinemas to vend cheese popcorn for October '05 (or November, or December, or January '06, or whatnot).

God then opined:

Quote:
April: Amazingly enough, actually IS the cruelest month.

But, honestly, only because the taxman cometh. I can wait until FY2006 for Serenity, or at least until July '05 when the final screener gets leaked onto ABM* NGs (with a nod in the general direction of the potted ficus in which PurpleBelly's hiding).

Joss went on to reveal:

Quote:
...I'm not perfect (I'm prefectly *sic?* PROPORTIONED, which is where that confusion comes in) and I've taken a cold hard look at my self in the wane of aught four. There's changes. Work to be done. I plan to be a better, more focussed *sic* person next year, and if at all possible, have a bionic arm.

I also resolve to write more. Not like, BENDIS more, but a lot. And maybe have some protien *sic* shakes, so my body stays in good enough shape to hold up my bionic arm, which will probably be heavy.

I predict a cameo for JW in the BDM, in which he is showering, ala Will Smith in "I, Robot". AT's involvement in this movie has obviously turned Joss on to the flick, to the point where having a bionic appendage seems desirable. If a robot can't be convicted of murder because it's not human, then would an autoerotic encounter with one's robotic hand...? Nevermind. (NB: It's a rare thrill to catch the Great One's spelling mistakes. *shivers ecstatically*)

Then Joss Whedon, the Papa, the Pope of FFFn, the OBs, Whedonesque, et al completed his wishes with:

Quote:
...Or somehwere with plants, and ferns...

Cujo? ...PurpleBelly?

Referentially,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"Burn the Poles and boil the Slavs, you can't take the Balkans from me." The Ballad of Josef S.

"Mud peoples r-r-r-roasting, on an open fire..." from Der Führer Sings the Christmas Classics!

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Friday, December 31, 2004 7:35 AM

HJERMSTED

Probably from the Dept. of No Duh, but...

Thanks to a recent red carpet interview gaff by none other than Nathan Fillion at a recent film premiere, "Flans" now also refers to Firefly Fans.

I was happy with Browncoats, but it seems Flans is spreading like wildfire.

Happy New Year everybody. Send what you can to Asia but watch out for fraudulant internet snipers.

mattro

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Friday, December 31, 2004 7:37 AM

EMBERS

oops, sorry Zoid...
you're right Spookyjesus did post this before me,
but I didn't see it when I came in
(if something isn't in the 'latest thread update' I usually don't see it...)

my bad

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Friday, December 31, 2004 7:52 AM

ZOID

embers:

No 'bad' assigned or implied. I was just trying to spread the irreverence...

v/r,
-zed

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Friday, December 31, 2004 4:09 PM

MALICIOUS

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
Jello with cheese, bread crumbs and eggs? Mmmm-ahhh-licious!

Yay! The thread is about me now!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Friday, December 31, 2004 9:48 PM

ZOID

'Lish wrote:

Quote:
Yay! The thread is about me now!

I've been trying to call you out from under the porch for several days now, Little Cat. But actually, I figured Joss would've mentioned you by name himself, had propriety allowed.

So, since:
Joss = Compassion
- as-
zoid = Propriety
I figured I'd just complete the thought for Him...

Felicitously,

zoid

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Saturday, January 1, 2005 3:19 AM

MALICIOUS

Hey,

HOW on EARTH did you know I was under the porch?! Weird.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Saturday, January 1, 2005 10:05 AM

ZOID

'Lishus flabbergasted:

Quote:
...HOW on EARTH did you know I was under the porch?! Weird.

Champagne makes me spiritual.

Hung Overly,

-zed

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Saturday, January 1, 2005 1:44 PM

GWENHARKER

Quote:
...Or somehwere with plants, and ferns...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cujo? ...PurpleBelly?

Even though I am neither, Angel got CANCELLED this year and Illyria loved plants/ferns.

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