GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--Is this a dagger I see before me?

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 1, 2006 11:18
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Friday, July 28, 2006 11:48 AM

TRISTAN


New thread, same Imponderable people!

Last thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=22586&m=349705#349705

Enjoy!

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Friday, July 28, 2006 11:54 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


First! Just had to win for once.
Win? Maybe I just have less to do that everyone else. I suck!

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"


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Friday, July 28, 2006 11:56 AM

AZHEA


Valentine's?

The ring my dear husband originally got me when we wed doesn't fit properly, the vagaries of monthly cycle prevent me wearing it consistently. So, this last V-Day he bought me three rings, a stacking set, of the proper size. He's shinily awesome!!


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I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

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Friday, July 28, 2006 11:57 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Pullin a quote of NV's from the end of the last thread...

Quote:

Why? is my only question about Valentines Day. Ain't it hard enough to keep up with those you love all year. Plus there's: anniversaries, weddings, funerals, religious holidays, social holidays, cultural holidays, etc, etc, etc.


My husband and I have everything lumped together at one part of the year, with nothing more than about three weeks between events. We have his birthday, then Christmas, then our anniversary, then Valentines day, then my birthday. So Valentines tends to be a little low-key with us, hehe. He brought me flowers this past year, and I think we may have gone out to dinner at IHOP because I had a hankering for French toast...

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:06 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Okay, so not the greatest memories associated with V Day. Only one good day out of twenty some years of memories. One of those picnics in wild places. Sometimes one good memory is all you need, I guess.



"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"


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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:13 PM

RUGBUG


MSG: That is a cute story. I can totally picture your face. And a man that is willing to make lighthearted fun of the ridiculousness that is relationships is a keeper.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:27 PM

MSG


yeah he's really funny:) It was just so me as well.

CK- I prefer the low key valentine's day make nifty food ( usually all finger food/ h'or douvres) and watch a video. We alternate who get's to pick it. It was my turn this year so I picked Alien vs. Predator.

NV- that's it:) we are all pitching in and buying you a russian mail order bride ( just kidding hon) I just seriously cannot believe that women in your town are this dumb. Is there something in the water? Were they all victims of some government neutering experiment?? I mean come on- you are gorgeous, funny, smart, employed ( and in a job that makes a meaningful contribution to the community), single, and interested in having a real relationship. I have to say that list right there is like ever woman I know's dream guy..SO apparently you have the misfortune to be stranded in the only town in the entire U.S. peopled by fembots:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:35 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


I have to admit, it is a very cute story.
Had very little luck being sweet and/or thoughtful. Seems like I hear how great my gestures are way after the fact. I don't expect any gratitude or even a response from much of anything that I do anymore because of that fact. Alright, someone slap me or say something funny because I'm gettin' too whiny for myself.

ADD: I live in a town surrounded by farming community, out of state folks looking to escape the state of California, and Naval Air Station Fallon. I had stated previously that I have alot of competition. I really don't. Too many of the women in my town have been ruined by transient cultures. Duty rotation, incarceration, and chemical dependancy have jaded the ladies of my town so much that it makes me sick. Though I deny it, there is still alot of negativity towards Indians here. I would say eighty percent of the Indian males in this town have proven the reasons for alot of those prejudices.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"


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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:40 PM

MSG


OK so a man who is well known at work for being polite and getting along with everyone comes into work on a Monday with two black eyes. Everyone in the office is confused and wonders how such a man could have upset someone or gotten in a fight. The man explains that he got them at church on Sunday. People are even more confused. He explains " well I came late to church and had to sit in the back row. In front of me was a woman. When they had us rise to sing I noticed her dress had gotten caught up in her bum. So I pulled it out, and she smacked me in the eye." Another co- worker says " how did you get the second black eye?" The man replies " Oh when she got so upset I tucked it back in and she hit me again."

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:51 PM

MSG


yes I do know how truly bad that joke is...and sadly I heard it last night around the campfire. My weird, but seriously fun uncle told it to a group of 10-14 year olds. I told him he'd better be on call for the principal's office when they re-told it:)

I am off for the evening to eat and rest and hopefully ditch this annoying cold ( which is my own fault because I let my baby sister wear my sweatshirt all day, she has a cold, and then slept on it, forgot my pillow and all, and then woke up with her cold)

Everyone have a fantastic weekend...

NV I am giving you a homework assignment. Walk up to a nice girl whose company you might enjoy and ask her out!!!!!

Tristan- good luck on the boots and this dratted project that has taken you away so much.

Rugbug- I wish that a magical curry comb will show up and groom your horse for you...or a cute guy who will:)

Everyone enjoy and I will bop back in tomorrow to annoy you all with my chatter:) I love that you guys will let me talk and talk and never once roll your eyes where I can see it:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:53 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Alright, you blind sided me with that one. Wasn't really expecting it. See what happens when you ask for either/or.
Issue: I experienced a bit of strict discipline growing up. They call it child abuse these days. I ain't afraid of alot, but that is one of my fears. Everyones told me that I have a good heart and wouldn't do that. But its still in there. I just noticed how comfortable or accepting I am with physical aggression toward myself, (ie. preferring a slap to something funny). Any attention is better than none.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"


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Friday, July 28, 2006 12:54 PM

TEACHDAIRE


Ok, here's one.

Why is it that members of the opposite sex you really like, but don't seem to notice you as a potential partner always seem to tell you about their love lives in really long, drawn out and painful detail? Is it some kind of genetic insensitivity? Or are they just doing it on purpose?



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For every battle honour, a thousand heroes die along, unremembered and unsung...

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Friday, July 28, 2006 1:08 PM

MSG


NV- hmmm I'd just say preferring the slap is because it's less emotion more quick solution... Now how's that date coming?

Teach- definite genetic insensitivity...combine with mild stupidity:) ( mind it wouldn't hurt if you actually told person you liked them. At the very least it'd shut them up:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 28, 2006 1:09 PM

MSG


by the way NV...you ever hit a kid even when you were blind mad? ..didn't think so:) So you already know you wouldn't.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 28, 2006 1:52 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Okay, as usual, MSG is right. Just hate the idea of that, (and other things) bein' a part of me.

This time of the year is easy to ask someone out. Outdoor activities and ice cream. No blaring music and drunk folk to contend with.
Will do MSG.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"


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Friday, July 28, 2006 2:10 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Well folks, I'm out for the weekend. Love y'all.

Weapons: Keep 'em clean.
Thoughts: Dirty as you can.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"


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Friday, July 28, 2006 3:06 PM

JAMESTHEDARK


NV: Yes. There is somebody out there as depressed as you. Me, four years ago. And maybe now. Not very good at introspection, until sufficient time's passed.

Valentines day is just another unpleasant day in an unpleasant month for me. Being perpetually alone makes the day somewhat the more unpleasant because the whole theme of "love-love togetherness love!" is shoved so far down my throat it starts flyin' out my pi gu, and it doesn't help that this particular day of state-enforced togetherness takes place on the coldest month of the Canadian winter. Hell, there are times I just want to fling a snowball at people WAAAAAAAY into the spirit as I pass them walking on the street.

The most romantic thing I've done on a Valentine's Day was tear out a closet to make room for a shower stall. I don't like Valentines.

Discipline: I was spanked as a kid. Not very often, but it happened. I don't think it's warped me mentally or socially. The Warping happened in elementary school. Don't much know if I'd do as my father did, especially considering how he intimated that he regretted it enormously after the fact. Point of fact, there's alot about me I don't know... Kinda creepy, sometimes...
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I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

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Friday, July 28, 2006 3:20 PM

ODDSBODSKINS


the insensitivity of the opposite sex: i'm inclined to think this is primarily because, when you fancy the pants of someone, whether or no you make it obvious, you are more likely to be attentive, appreciative, polite and solicitous when they're talking to you, and as such they may be more inclined to view you as someone that's easy to talk to and as such do just that.

valentines day: always manage to be single for valentines day...t'aint intentional, s'just worked out that way, but my one and only claim to a good valentines day was my 18th birthday (four days apart) which i spent in paris with 27 single women ^^ unfortunately it was a school art trip but if i left off that detail it would make for a good story.


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Friday, July 28, 2006 5:33 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Muuuuuuuuuurrr.... Um, good morning everybody. Lesse, what'd I miss? NV, I personally feel a little silly if I start "hunting". It's like I'm trying too hard. I can express an interest, but if it isn't expressed back right away, I kinda go "Oh, well, then. Let's not waste my time." That's all I've got for ya.
As for being depressed...Let's not go into that. I'm more depressed because I have far too many completely out-of-reach (for the moment) people to pine over. Not to mention still suffering the slings and arrows of big mega broken-hearted angst.
But let's not go into that.
Hmmmmm, hunting in packs. I guess I do prefer to be out with some friends; makes me feel less lame. Sometimes I get the courage to talk to a guy, too! Of course, the last guy I talked to gave me his number and then moved back to Colorado Springs That went well. I wasn't sure about dating him, but would have liked to hang out more at least. I need friends just as much as I need dates.
I've never had a really romantic valentines day First one I was with Ex of Doom on we were both in a bad mood for various reasons and we ended up just kind of cuddling in a park. Actually that was kinda nice. Most recently he was in a hospital. Yeah, that was fun. Also led right up to the dumping.

But Beltaine is more important to me. Most romantic thing I did on Beltaine? Lost my virginity.
It was romantic at the time.
It hasn't ed up one of the most important holidays on the Pagan calendar for me or anything.
And look new thread! (I love playing catchup)
TeachDaire: members of the opposite sex who see you as a friend are probably looking for an opposite sex perspective on their problem. A hint though; it is the perfect opening. If they are complaining about something, you can just say "Well, some people are jackasses. I would never treat you that way." It might not work, but then it might.
And, looks like I have come to the end. And everyone is gone for the weekend! The whole weekend! What will I do?

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Friday, July 28, 2006 5:58 PM

STEAMER


*delurks*

Hey, gang...anybody mind me swingin' in?

I just have two platinum to toss into the insensitivity cup. How about those times when, no matter how hard, how often or how desperately you pour your heart out, no matter how hard you try to convince them that you mean well, the object of your affection just flat-out refuses to give you another chance and you can't conjure why? Do you find it's worse when there's no apparent reason, or when it becomes plain that they're just too gorram busy thinking about themselves?

*looks at title of thread and thinks of Dead Poets Society* "Or maybe you could imagine John Wayne doing Macbeth, going, Wull, is this a DAG-ger Ah see bah-fore me??!?!"

~
Shiny. Is that how you're all feeling?
Then perhaps Mal Reynolds IS in your best interests as captain.

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Friday, July 28, 2006 6:06 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Of course we don't mind you swinging in!
I do have to ask, though, if you're wanting a second chance, what did you do with your first one? Maybe the object of your affection is just worried about history repeating itself (I know I would be, but that's my personal situation) and can't stand to be hurt again. However if it is that they're too busy with themselves, well, you don't really need that in your life.
I think it's worse if there's no given reason; if you've read these thread you know that has made me tear a lot of hair out. Of course that was a no given reason for breaking up with me in the first place.
I don't wanna think about that anymore.

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Friday, July 28, 2006 6:25 PM

TRISTAN


Late, late evening, all. I have a few minutes to dispose of, so I thought I'd drop in here to say hello...and maybe answer some imponderables.

Steamer, welcome to the thread! Hope you plan on staying awhile...we always enjoy new folk.

Most romantic Valentine's...y'all are going to think this is sick, but the wife and I, this past Valentine's, had dinner together, then curled up on the sofa and watched Saw II. I know, not the most romantic thing in the world, but we were together, we were in lvove, and the how and why's didn't really matter.

Discipline: Not sure where this one was asked...
I was disciplined as a child, but I don't really remember physical discipline. I am sure it happened a few times, but it wasn't so traumatic that I have flashbacks or anything. I believe I turned out alright.



______________________________________

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Friday, July 28, 2006 6:26 PM

STEAMER


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Of course we don't mind you swinging in!
I do have to ask, though, if you're wanting a second chance, what did you do with your first one? Maybe the object of your affection is just worried about history repeating itself (I know I would be, but that's my personal situation) and can't stand to be hurt again. However if it is that they're too busy with themselves, well, you don't really need that in your life.



Mm, took me just a bit too long to figure out that last part. The first chance I speak of - this was a few years back, and I knew for a fact that this individual had no romantic history to repeat. It was naught but a casual date; and for reasons unfathomable at the time, she quite suddenly shut down afterward. Wasn't like I gave her any reason to be afraid. As I say, it was a while ago, but I smarted from it for years to follow.

~
Shiny. Is that how you're all feeling?
Then perhaps Mal Reynolds IS in your best interests as captain.

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Friday, July 28, 2006 6:36 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Well, shutting down for no reason, that's a different thing. Maybe she just has issues. I'm amazed at what certain issues do to people.
Do you really want to try dealing with that? If so, I can only tell you to always keep your word and go slow and steady with her. Not saying it will work, but if anything will...

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Friday, July 28, 2006 6:45 PM

JUBELLATE


I find the people I've dated have nothing but issues. I'm a very poor chooser of girlfriends. Or maybe I just handle what other people consider normal worse.



The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. – H.L. Mencken

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Friday, July 28, 2006 10:14 PM

TRAVELER


Just got an Email telling me somebody replied to my post in this thread. Since I never created a post in the first place, I am assuming there is some type of time warp going on and I better create a post very quickly before I am lost in a vortex. My ears start ringing when that happens.

Now to be polite and discuss the thread. Dating I figure. Yes I don't do very well picking out women. Have a bad sense of what they are about. I don't think I will ever learn. But doesn't everybody have issues. I certainly do. As a matter of fact I probably saved some poor woman from dealing with my issues by not getting seriously involved. But I would prefer someone in my life. Being alone sucks.

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Friday, July 28, 2006 10:35 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


So here's something that's kinda been running through my mind. Cheating; who do you blame? It seems like (at least in the media) the woman is basically always blamed. She's either the temptress or the unfaithful skank. I don't think that's fair. In a way it's kind of saying that a woman is the one who would be in charge of sex, but it also really bothers me because it's like saying men are never responsible for their actions or just don't have a choice in the matter or something.
So, if you were to (hypothetically) catch a SO cheating on you, would you blame them or would you blame the person they were cheating with? Me, I would blame them and be very angry and extremely unlikely to stay with them. A lot of people, however, have worked through such things. Not sure how, but it's been done.
Thoughts?

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Friday, July 28, 2006 11:14 PM

TRAVELER


A lot of people get married or otherwise serious for the wrong reasons. My mother fell for dad and they did pretty for a while but my old man was addicted to alcohol and fried his brain. He blained everybody else for everything that happened to him and never owned up to his own faults. My mother was to in love to see this and tried to keep the marriage going even though my father treated like dirt. He cheated because he thought in his twisted mind that he deserved it. Well you can't hold things together simply because you love someone. Or that which some people call love is just some false pride. People get screwed up pretty easily. I've seen it happen to more than one person and it creates a lot of damage before it ends. I wish my mother had left my father long before they finally split up. But that's the past. I have a life to live and I am trying my damnest to do it without hurting anyone. I find it is not an easy thing to do. I get lost in my own selfish interests and have to be pulled back a lot. Fortunately I stopped alot of the bad behavior a learned from my father before it was to late. I was close to following the same road. You would think I would know better, but you get a lost and let me tell you it can be hard to find your way back. No. Women are not skanks. I find men to be worse at relationships than women. I could really punch some guys right in the nose for the way they treat the women in their life. The problem I find most women have is they don't to let these bastards go. It really take one hell of a hard ride before some of them do. Never let a man treat you like dirt. Get rid of them. there are plenty of men out there who will really respect you. They may be hard to find but don't stop looking. And if a guy starts to change in his attitude after what appears to be a good relationship don't wait like my mother and ruin your life trying to patch something that only the the guy can do. It is up to the person having the problem to fix it. You can help but it still responsibilty to check their behavior. Any trys to shot you, you shot em back. I'm attempting a quote there. Not sure if it correct but you get the picture. I could probaly say more but this has gotten very long. So take what agrees with you and leave the rest.

Traveler

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 3:01 AM

DANCINGNEKO


Hi all. I've missed too much (school has started again *bleah*) so answering what little I can:

Valentines: *shrugs* It's been a while since I've had a S.O. The best Valentines' in the past couple of years was getting a balloon from a co-worker (he gave to all the women in my office one) for Valentine's day. Other than that, I tend to have bad luck around that time.

Cheating: Been on the receiving end. I blame the ex for being a brd and twisting me around so much that I knew about the online flirting and the plans to go visit the new person the ex was falling for. (Ex even wanted my 'okay' to go and visit online-person in Australia...) Then again, I've looked back and wondered what I was trying to hold on to so hard...back then, though, I really wanted it to work. brd ex1 eventually moved to Australia and eventually got ("shotgun") married (and I've heard, divorced) to online-person. It's taken me a long time to unscrew what brd ex1 and brd ex2 did to me mentally and emotionally . (I guess I'm a bit of a slow learner.)

Unfortunately, it has made me slightly wary of my taste in the opposite sex, to the point that I plan on running any future SO's past a handful of my friends. If they compare the SO to ex1 or ex2, then I'm gone so fast, it'll make heads spin.

Teachdaire: Umm...I'd vote genetic cluelessness. Sometimes people can't tell unless you 'em. (Me, for instance...I'm just used to being considered a "pal" by the opposite sex, since I tend to be interested in things that are dominated by them.) (And I second Oddsbodkins's statement.)

Welcome Steamer: Maybe you hit a sensitive nerve, or a "absolute deal-breaker" in her book? As an example: I will not tolerate dating a person who attempts to "social engineer" or smoothly twists the truth so that they can get what they want. I've been burned by someone who claimed to be this, and refused to continue dating someone else when I found them doing this.

Welcome Traveler: I agree. Being alone (when you really don't want to be) stinks. My only issue is that being with someone just to be with someone can be worse than being alone. Think of it this way -- while you're alone, you're learning how to become the person you would want to be around. You're also learning how to handle things on your own so if you have to in the future, you can live without your spouse/SO for whatever reason.

(That's my story and I'm sticking to it, otherwise I'd have to tell NV to move over and outdepress him.) *hugs NV* From what you post NV, I'd go out with you, 'cept for the what 10k miles currently between us.

*looks at the time* Okay...it's ever so late here (nearly 3 a.m. here) so I'm going to wander off. *gives hug to CP* Remember CP, there is a reason that FSO has the "F" in front. Ignore him and feel free to toss him with my brd exs 1 and 2.

Until later...*waves*


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Saturday, July 29, 2006 3:16 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Aw, Neko
I'm sorry. But I'm glad you didn't stay with him. I understand the wanting it to work even after it is obviously dead. My Ex of Doom didn't cheat on me (except maybe in his head) but it was still dead and I tried to resuscitate it. If he had helped it might have worked, but he didn't.
Grrrrrr! Arrrrg!

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:41 AM

DAYVE


good morning everyone,
just dropped by for a few... and read through the imponderables.... i don't have comments for all of them, although i will say that Tristan and MSG can really pick romantic v-day movies.... i think they were Saw II and Alien vs. Preditor.... kinda gives new meaning to "sucking face".....

other than that....well, oh yeah, my valentine day story makes me sound like a jerk, but here it is anyway... i was in the market for a new motorcycle... it just so happened to be the month of February... so one day without even thinking about it, i come home with a shiny new GPZ1100 in the back of the truck. As i'm unloading the bike, SO comes out and gives me a hug and thanks me for 'her' valentines gift.... uh oh..... it was Feb 14..... however i did think to buy a card a couple o days before.....needless to say, i watched a movie that night, too.... think it was St. Valentine's Day Massacre.....



"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 5:44 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


Happy Birthday for yester day, MSG, dang, late again! That was a really sweet story bout your SO, by the way, he sounds so great! Hope you had fun camping!

Last time I went camping, was with my primary school when I was 10 in Anglesey, the best thing that happened was a dog got into one of the big, 6 sleeper tents, in which a horrible girl that everyone hated was sleeping in, and the dog pooed all over her stuff, no one else's, just hers. heh heh, heh

Belfast, eh? that means, you are only about *counts on fingers* 100 or so miles away from me! Maybe if we should light giant signal fires, and morse code each other ... if only I knew morse code....

Steamer, Traveler and Trogman, welcome to the world of the imponerables!

Come Valentines, I have a big movie fest, only movies with no romance in the, or I may end up throwing the comfort food at the TV, and I really don't want to waste it.
The only time I get depressed is when I get other people coupleness and my aloneiness waved in front of me on a giant flag.
Example: It was the end the lunch break at school, and I was waiting for this boy who is in the same form as me to come, so we could walk in together, and I accidentaly found myself alone, smack bang in the middle of four, count them, FOUR, couples, all kissing at once. That was depressing.
I have now given up chasing, since that always leads to embarasment and tears, and am now sitting back and enjoying what life throws at me (unless its a mint.I hate mints)

I have read all the others, but I can't really comment, having had no experience, and all, although thanks to you lot and this lovely thread, I am well preapred for the big scary world of relationships, once I discover it

om, Dayve, that must have been arkward, how'd you get out of it??

Gah, I am so exhausted, Me, my mum and my sister just carted 3/4 of a tonne of sand, and 140 bricks all the way up our many-teired, sloped garden. Not as bad as last week, last week was 2 tonnes of rubble!




98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:29 AM

MISTERG


Hey all, the wife talked me into registering.. guess who's Mister I am? :D

Anyway, back to watching pre-season premier league football (real football, not that American stuff).

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:37 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


Hey MisterG! Welcome to the verse!

****************
I haven't had this much fun since the last time I ate a lightbulb
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:37 AM

WHITEFALL


SBDB, you have fascinating taste in exercise. Btw, enjoy the rain coming your way, we over here tested it out. It's good.

Bah, valentines day. Nothin' and then nothin', carry the.... yeah, can't say i've ever done anything on valentines day. Rarely give em (it's damn commercialized) and rarely get em (it's so nice when i do, and of course I forget after awhile, my mind works like that.)

Cheating? Bah, i would blame the SO. Assuming other person who done the cheating was one of them sentient human beings, I'd have no trouble believe he'd be out for some company, and hopefully I'd have good enough taste in SOs for others to... nvm. But SO, forgiving would be damned awkward, cause i'm not gonnna pretend I don't understand how other people get lonely. (and lol, i've spent enough time critizing myself to know other folk could do it) But ultimately I might actually... well, maybe forgive, but damnit it'd depend on the person. I'd prefer not to have to find out.

Oops, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY MSG!!!

And, welcome MrG, be warned, tristan has been coveting your wife

's cooking.



"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:43 AM

MSG


Hey all...yippee finally got the mister involved. What's really ironic is( if you all remember ) he's the one that showed me FFF. Anyway, felling a bit bettr, cold is backing off some and birthday was lovely. Husband got me the best teddy bear ever ( now lest you think this is some cutsie pie thing go to www.teddyscares.com and look at Rita Mortis)


I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:43 AM

MISTERG


Quote:

Originally posted by Whitefall:

And, welcome MrG, be warned, tristan has been coveting your wife's cooking.



Hell, I covet her cooking too... I need more of it :)

"There can be only one."

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:52 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


Whitefall: oh yes, we got the rain, 1/2 a tonne into the sand, so we were hot, exhausted and wet.
Ha! I couldn't call it a choice, my mum has being trying to pursueade my Dad for years now to redo the herb garden at the top of the garden, which of course he never did (he starts everything, and then kind of looses interest halfway through, accounting for the glassless greenhouse we've had for at least 10 years, and many other things), so she decided she would do it herself, and me and beth kinda got dragged along too.
Fascinating thing is: Dad convientiently disappears when the builing materials turn up, but he's perfectly happy to play with the whack-a-plate that we hired to flatten all the rubble.
Its gonna be really good, we've got a hammock for it too!

***************
I haven't had this much fun since the last time I ate a lightbulb
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:56 AM

BSCPANTHERFAN


Happy belated B-day, MSG!

Don't worry about the number of years piling up. I will hit 40 this year, and the way I see it, as long as they are piling up, I'll be living them and not laying down.

As far as cheating goes, PR, there are a few of us out here that blame both parties, as long as they both know about the other relationship. If one person is the "other man/woman", and is being lied to by the cheater, then I blame them a bit less, and just regard them as REALLY naive. I think society tends to regard women with more scorn in this than men because men are percieved as "horn dogs" who can't help themselves and will nail anything that stays still long enough. I think that is insulting to men AND women.
Here's a question that may have been addressed already: How far into the relationship do you get before seeing someone else is "cheating"? I guess this has two variants. How far into your current relationship can you get before seeing someone else is cheating, and how far into a relationship can you go before you are cheating on your SO? Personally, I have never been able to "casually date" several people at once, so this has never come up for me, except as the person being cheated on. Ideas?

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 7:00 AM

MSG


I think the minute it goes beyond verbal flirting you have crossed the line. I think flirting in what you say is just banter and not meaningful ,but anything beyond that is actual cheating

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 7:16 AM

SPACEANJL


Belated Happy Birthday, MsG (hunts for recipe for virtual birthday cake...)

ed; I just found the TeddyScares. They let you work with kids? Good.

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 7:48 AM

PENGUIN




How lovely! lol


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Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:15 AM

BSCPANTHERFAN


I'm guessing that this place isn't going to open a shop in the mall next to Build-a-Bear.

On an entirely different note, my mailman just delivered my copy of "Done the Impossible".

Now I won't get any yard work done today. Aww, too bad.

I just noticed your joke from further up, MSG, so here's one I heard on Dave Ramsey the other day:

WHY WE BROKE UP

She told me we didn't have money for non-essential items, so she made me quit buying beer.

Then I caught her spending $75 on makeup. When I asked her about it, she said, "I buy this to look good for you."

I told her that was what the beer was for.

She hasn't been back since.

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:40 AM

MSG


LOL-good one BSC:)

Penguin thanks I can always count on you to find away to make my thoughts visible:) HUGS

SpaceAnJL- yeah It's a great bear. I really want to take it to school with me:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:59 AM

WHITEFALL


MSG, lol, you should! As long as the administration doesnt mind, keep it on your desk as paraphenalia, it shows off your personality to your students! Which I think is a good thing, actually.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 9:06 AM

TRISTAN


Afternoon, all!
So, TRS is back...wow. Missed the little bugger.

PR, on the subject of cheating...it's difficult sometimes to pin guilt on either party. I do not know for sure why women cheat, but men cheat for various reasons: boredom, lust, anger, to name a few. In a relationship, there is a certain amount of give-and-take with the physical aspect that cannot be ignored. If I am with an SO, and we have a healthy sex life, I am not going to "stray". I expect the same from my partner. If, on the other hand, there is little sex, or it is not fulfilling, and talking doesn't do any good...yes, my eye will wander. It would have to get very bad before I would cheat, but it could happen. And if I caught my SO with someone? I would blame them both and have nothing further to do with either one. I do not think I could remain with someone who cheated on me.

Traveler, welcome aboard!

MisterG! Welcome to the forum! Yes, I covet your wife's cooking...the descriptions of the meals just made my mouth water. The cooking aside, you are a lucky man to have someone like MSG!

BSC! Good to see you again.
I think cheating becomes a real word when you have feelings for the other person. If it's a few dates, and only one of you feels things are going well...that doesn't really constitute an SO-type relationship. On the other hand; a marriage is a whole different ball of wax. Any cheating in a marriage (unless agreed to by both parties...then it's not really cheating, is it?) constitutes cheating. Wow, how many times can I get the word "cheating" into a paragraph?





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Saturday, July 29, 2006 11:27 AM

MISTERG


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:

MisterG! Welcome to the forum! Yes, I covet your wife's cooking...the descriptions of the meals just made my mouth water. The cooking aside, you are a lucky man to have someone like MSG!



hehe you said it :) Someone who puts up with me *AND* cooks as well as she can.. I got lucky :D

"There can be only one."

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 5:17 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Morning everyone! Greetings Mr G! Glad you had a good birthday, Ms G!
BSC, I am like you in the not casually dating thing. As long as I'm dating someone, I won't be dating someone else. If I badly want to date someone else and/or feel it isn't working out, I'll just say so. That is pretty easy early on, when you've only had a few dates. I (possibly unfairly) hold others to my standard. There's also the definition of cheating; I think that a kiss can be cheating, some people think it's not cheating til there's some form of sex. But even if it's not yet a "commited" relationsip, it just feels a little... dirty to be dating several people at once.
It's funny because I've heard that a lot of relationships reach the point of "We should be exclusive" and you have a talk along those lines. But for me, I kind of assume it's pretty exclusive unless I hear otherwise. I think if you are going to date more than one person at once, you should let them know about it. Just in case, you know, you don't pick them, it won't come as a profound shock when they find out you were seeing someone else.
Tristan, as always, makes a good point. If there is a healthy sex life, there should be no reason to stray. Hopefully that means I will never be cheated on. However, there are those who do it just... because
Sorry, while I'm pretty sure I've never been cheated on, many people in my life have. Stupid cheaters.

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:51 PM

TRISTAN


Morning, all! Well, I should say "evening" as I have not yet been to bed and it's waaaay past my normal bedtime. Caffeine is a blessing and a curse...

PR, thank you for the support! It's good to hear from the fairer sex that a healthy sex life is important in a relationship.
I should be up for a little while longer, and I'd like to delve into the cheating thing a bit further.
You say sometimes a kiss can be cheating. In what way is it that for you? I am a firm believer in a somewhat "open" relationship...I am pretty sure I talked about this on an earlier thread, but I'll run through it again for the newer people...I have a feeling this is going to be a long post; I apologize beforehand.
I believe a committed relationship means both parties love one another totally. I feel that love is not from the heart so much as from the whole being. Being in love for me is having the same feelings for someone no matter what the situation. Love is the overriding emotion; if I am sad, I love my SO, if I am pissed off, I love my SO...always first and foremost. Does that make sense? Betrayal to me, or cheating, is my SO felling that kind of love for someone else. I understand about loving friends and family, but to me that is a different kind of love. I could possibly stand my SO having sex with someone as long as it was just physical, but that is not something that is likely to happen. According to most of the females on this board, sex is not possible without some feelings of love. Please correct me if I am wrong. If my SO had physical relations with someone she was in love with other than me, that would be betrayal.
How this relates to an "open" relationship may be a bit harder to define or understand. I do not mind my SO flirting or having close friends of the opposite sex. I do not mind my SO going out with them; bars, concerts, and the like...things I normally do not enjoy. I am much more comfortable and happy staying home; if my SO is more social, I do not want to stop them from enjoying themselves. I do not normally get jealous at others showing attention to my SO...as long as they realize she is in a relationship.
I hope all of that makes sense. If anyone needs clarification, please let me know.

Alright, now we are back to the kiss question...you can see how and when a kiss would be cheating in my eyes...is yours similar to this?

Oy...sorry again about the length. Apparently, I become chatty when hyper-caffeinated.


______________________________________

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Saturday, July 29, 2006 9:09 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Tristan, what are you still doin' up darlin? Nice to see you, as always.
I adore your description of what being in love is. I totally agree. So the thing is, I tend to do this thing, that all people do, of sort of holding people to my standards. Maybe that isn't the best way of putting it. It's more that I kind of assume that other people have the same motivation for their actions that I have. So, if I kiss someone, it is usually because I am falling for them. Maybe not that I feel the kind of real love you described, but I am getting there. And I'm not talking about like a little peck, I'm talking about a kiss. The more physical contact there is, the more I have to feel for them. It's really not that enjoyable otherwise. I've played spin the bottle with friends, and it really wasn't all that fun to kiss them. Some of them were really good kissers, but it didn't really "do" anything for me. I can't even imagine how awkward it would be to go beyond that.
(Ramblerambleramble) So anyway that's why I feel a kiss can be cheating, because for me it would be a prelude to something else. Not that it always gets there, but it could and I know that. There's also a certain type of flirting that is a prelude, and a certain kind that is not. If it's ongoing flirting that is more than just "hey yeah, you're kinda cute but that's all I'm really seeing" I would start to get nervous. Did, in fact, start to get nervous when I was with Ex of Doom and he had a massive ongoing flirtation with this girl. Even after she moved out-of-state it kept going, and he would have a certain look when he talked to her and about her. He had flirted with many women before that and it didn't bother me nearly as much as this did. (And I'm sure it had nothing to do with him breaking up with me. Nope, nothing at all ) What was I saying? Oh yeah, there is innocent flirting and serious flirting. Innocent I don't have a problem with, really, serious I kinda do.
Am i doing my bitter make-no-sense rambling babble or am I making sense? I hope I'm making sense.
I guess it's just best to be clear about how you actually feel. If you are really good friends with someone and want to peck thm on the cheek (or even the lips, I guess) that's one thing. If you want to tell someone they look good or whatever not-so-serious flirting, that is also one thing. Anything beyond that is a totally other thing. If you're doing it because you're serious about them, that's bad. If you do it because you can "just be physical" and the rest doesn't matter... That's worse. For me, that's worse because it would make me really wonder if I was "just physical" which is the last thing I want to be. Especially as I am continually wondering if the man I loved more than anything and who took my virginity actually saw me as anything but a cure for his lonliness. When we were together, I was sure he did because there were many women who would flirt with him heavily and he chose me, but after some of the things he said, I wonder what was actually going on.
Bleh.

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