GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--the Eighth (?)

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Friday, June 23, 2006 19:26
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 6346
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Monday, June 19, 2006 8:39 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Size? I'm 6'1", have large thick hands, big ears, size 16 shoes, and am dark skinned. If I ain't a little above average than looking like a light chocolate covered clown is all for nothing!

If this goes through I'm glad to have been heard. Feel as if I have too much time to work without y'all.

Mal: Bwah.

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Monday, June 19, 2006 12:20 PM

MSG


Oh please let this be back.. It loaded nice and fast and is acting normally..Hope it stays this way
Um NV-unless you deliberately misunderstood she was looking for a more personal measurement. However based on your personal stats I think we can figure that out;)
In case my mind's just gutter bound, I'm 5'2" 125 pounds size 6 dress, size 6 1/2 shoe:)

I choose to rise, instead of fall- U2

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Monday, June 19, 2006 2:06 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


How does one choose their weapon? I am very curious about the choices one makes online/at the naughty store. As for actual weapons of choice I always lean towards reliable, possessing a sufficient caliber and capacity. Do women think in the same terms with their joy implements?

MSG: I would have guessed you taller. As for the whole gutter bound remark... We're already there Hun, just grab the size 7 waders and trudge on through. We'll be the folks with the Browncoats pondering at the very Imponderable aspects of males and females.

Mal: Bwah.

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Monday, June 19, 2006 8:42 PM

SERYN


I don't know which gutter your mind is in, but my mental gutter features dry floors, roman style couches for pondering whilst lounging and a cd player.

Little bit of interior decorating can liven up any dirty thought.

I don't believe I just typed that.

As for size, I was once (very briefly) with a basketball player, huge tall muscly guy. And you know what they say about black men...

But I had no problems. Similarly, an ex was, er, more skilled in other areas. Again, didn't have a problem.

To repeat the old hackneyed phrase 'It ain't how big it is but what you do with it that counts'

Saying that, if I ever did start buying myself toys, I wouldn't be going neer the monsters. I also believe the 'best things come in small packages' saying.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!

http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Monday, June 19, 2006 10:35 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Ok, still having some troubles so I haven't been able to respond. Arg!
OK, size, yeah. As I've only been with one guy I don't have a lot of comparisons to make. He was a little above average size, and I will tell you that it hurt massively the first time. It got better, though.
Toys? I get medium size in terms of length, though usually slimmer than average. I find I do not get as turned on and lubricated by myself, so I can handle a bigger man than toy. Even a lubricated toy just doesn't work; I'm not as dialated I guess. The other thing is that toys are obviously not the same material and don't tend to have much give, so they can't adjust.
The thing is that women come in different sizes, too. I'm fairly small as far as I can tell. More than likely a "rabbit" woman according to the Kama Sutra. I'm sure I would be happy with any size in lover as long as he would listen to me about what I needed. Larger than average, he would need to figure out quickly how I respond to pain. Smaller than average would just need to learn what the best angles were to hit the right spots.
What's the other saying? "It's not the size of your pole that matters, it's how your worm wiggles."

Oh yes, and I'm 5'6 with size 8 1/2 feet.
You know that thing about feet and noses is a disproven old wive's tale, right?

**********************************

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Monday, June 19, 2006 11:00 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


After telling me it couldn't post five times, I come back to see it in fact posted twice. Mur.

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Monday, June 19, 2006 11:47 PM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:


You know that thing about feet and noses is a disproven old wive's tale, right?



So I've been told. It is however the only chat-up line that I'v ever dared to use! "My what big feet you have!" with a cheerful wink does break the ice! (Oh there was also the good old "Well, slap my thigh!" when I was in pantos!)

________________________________
Hisssssss!

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Monday, June 19, 2006 11:47 PM

EMMARIGBY


Grrr argh! Double posty badness! It's such a struggle to get through to you guys at the moment!

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 2:56 AM

CHAOSHASCOME


Quote:

Originally posted by EmmaRigby:

Hmm, I would ask a riske and interesting question here but I'm feeling all inhibited in case my friend's reading. If you are I'm sorry I called you a sex toy boy! Hope you didn't take it the wrong way!



How could that possibly be taken the wrong way?

Quote:

Hmm, I'm not so convinced I didn't say something horribly embarrasing. I feel I may have come off an clingy and inseccure. Oh well. It's a bit late to start blushing now!


Chill! I didn't mean to intrude in your online being-yourself space. You just made it sound so fun! (And it is!)
Anyway, if you're feeling embarrassed, just remember some of the stuff you know about me, and you'll be fine again!

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 3:37 AM

EMMARIGBY


He he! Can I mention some of them?

It's nice to have addicted a friend to the fun of FFF.net! I'll stop complaining and just enjoy the sharing now!

Hey! You're a Jayne icon man! I always saw you as more of a Simon kind of guy. Except in the bedroom. Definately Jayne there!

________________________________
Hisssssss!

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 4:31 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, all!
PR, I agree with your observation of female size...and also agree with your "wiggle" theory. Not so sure about the rabbit reference, though.

Chaos, welcome to the board! Emma, hopefully his appearance won't prevent you from posting?

Still having problems posting, but Haken said he's working on it!


____________


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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 7:13 AM

MSG


gonna keep trying to post here...
Emma oh really? do tell...
Chaos welcome to our lovely site. We're all fun here( crazy as a box of frogs) but fun
NV- yes sadly despite my desperate wish to be an amazon I am stuck as a pixie...sigh!
Size- hey as long as the guy knows what he's doing I doubt the thoughts crossing your mind involve a measuring sick..

I choose to rise, instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 8:29 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Tryin' again.

Welcome CHAOS. Beware the female BROWNCOAT!
They just love all the DP (Double Postey) goodness.
SINNERS.
MSG- The little ones are the ones to be afraid of!

TRISTAN: I have created a shrine in your honor. Okay, its a pile of cookies that I will eat in your honor.

Love and miss all of you.

Built for comfort, not built for speed.

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 9:53 AM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Morning, all!
PR, I agree with your observation of female size...and also agree with your "wiggle" theory. Not so sure about the rabbit reference, though.



I think it's a Karma Sutra thing but I've never actually read it. On a related matter I saw a wonderful new version of the Rampant Rabbit at the aforementioned shop but they are so very expensive! Maybe I should ask Santa! I've been a fairly good girl this year (that's the problem!)

Quote:

Chaos, welcome to the board! Emma, hopefully his appearance won't prevent you from posting?



Nar, as you can see I can't keep my mouth shut for long! Even when I have to try 5 or 6 times to get a post through! Evil computer I swear it's laughing at me!


________________________________
Hisssssss!

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 11:43 AM

ELOISA


I seem to be able to get into the community area far easier than the BSR, after several days of having it the other way round. Anyway... re. the naughty store, I go by manufacturing material as much as size. I'm not fond of those very smooth ones that are about as flexible as a pane of glass.

(5'6", shoe size 7 1/2 UK or 41 European, overenthusiastic bust. I wonder if a woman's measurements have anything to do with her size as categorised by the Kama Sutra? And for men, aren't handspans from little finger to thumb meant to be slightly more representative than foot lengths, i.e. at all?)

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 11:56 AM

CHAOSHASCOME


Quote:

Originally posted by EmmaRigby:

I think it's a Karma Sutra thing



Categories of size. Listing small, medium and large, there are:
Shash (rabbit), Vrish (bull) and Ashva (horse) for the males and Mrigi (doe), Badava (cow) and Hastini (she-elephant) for the females.

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 11:56 AM

CHAOSHASCOME


Quote:

Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
He he! Can I mention some of them?



Eeek! Erm. Possibly, but ask me first?

Quote:

Hey! You're a Jayne icon man! I always saw you as more of a Simon kind of guy. Except in the bedroom. Definately Jayne there!



How so? Because I'm thinking that's not good - prissy and uptight in normal life (sorry Simon fans!) but dim and indelicate in the bedroom? (Sorry Jayne fans!)

Besides, the "Which Firefly character are you?" quiz said Jayne.

Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:

You know that thing about feet and noses is a disproven old wive's tale, right?




Not entirely disproven:
Quote:

The relationships among height, penile length, and foot size
Kerry Siminoski and Jerald Bain



They won an IgNobel Prize for this

Anyway, it concluded:
Quote:

Penile length was found to be statistically related to both body height and foot length, but with weak correlation coefficients.



I'm a mine of useless information...

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 6:04 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


OH I missed some funny funny stuff! Crazy as a box of frogs! That we are, that we are.
Nice to see you Chaos! You're taking good care of our Emma, right?
That laughing computer is a hoot, partly because I relate.
Eoisa, have you ever seen the ones that are actually made of glass? I have a friend who swears by them, but talk about inflexible! I wouldn't be able to do a thing with those!

The Kama Sutra states that there are three different size classifications. They're different for women and men. A yoni (as they put it) comes in three sizes classified by rabbit, horse, and elephant. Rabbit women are small; tighter and shallower than average. Horse women are medium, and elephant women are very large. I can say that, as a 42 C, measurments on the outside don't have a lot to do with measurments on the inside.
Chaos and I must have read a different version of the Kama Sutra! I just saw he has different animals listed than what I remember. I remember rabbit, horse, and elephant for women. Rabbit, something I can't recall, and horse for men. What was that middle one? He could be right, it might be bull. Don't remember. Anyway, I didn't get very far into it; it goes on for pages about size pairings and the like. Wow.

**********************************

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 12:46 AM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:

Originally posted by ChaosHasCome:
He he! Can I mention some of them?

Eeek! Erm. Possibly, but ask me first?




Only joking! I can't actually think of any embarrassing stories of you (that don't involve me!)


Quote:

Hey! You're a Jayne icon man! I always saw you as more of a Simon kind of guy. Except in the bedroom. Definately Jayne there!

How so? Because I'm thinking that's not good - prissy and uptight in normal life (sorry Simon fans!) but dim and indelicate in the bedroom? (Sorry Jayne fans!)




That's a very negative take on such wonderfully complex characters! I was thinking more of Simon's highly intelligent, reserved and fiercely loyal side combined with Jayne's uninhibited, fun-loving and dominant qualities. It was supposed to be a compliment! I'm sure not many women out there would say no to such a combination!

Quote:


I'm a mine of useless information...



Knowledge boy comes through with the info once more! (that's his nickname!)

________________________________
Hisssssss!

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 12:50 AM

EMMARIGBY


Sorry about the DP, hard to avoid when it keeps sending you error messages so you don't know if it's worked or not!

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 3:23 AM

TRISTAN


Alright, second attempt...the first one just disappeared...

Morning, all!
NVGhostrider, thank you, and I hope the shrine was delicious!

As to the Kama Sutra, I have tried several of the positions (don't ask me the names, it's been awhile) and was not all that impressed. Not saying it's not fun and exciting to try, but it has been awhile since I have had a lover willing to experiment and "play". I am quite happy not bringing rabbits, does, or (mercy) elephants into my bed-play

Let's hope it works this time...


____________


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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 5:17 AM

CHAOSHASCOME


Quote:

Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
That's a very negative take on such wonderfully complex characters! I was thinking more of Simon's highly intelligent, reserved and fiercely loyal side combined with Jayne's uninhibited, fun-loving and dominant qualities. It was supposed to be a compliment! I'm sure not many women out there would say no to such a combination!



I can feel a DP-joke coming on...

Fair enough then, I shall try to think positively on that

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 6:06 AM

CHAOSHASCOME


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Nice to see you Chaos! You're taking good care of our Emma, right?



I wish(!) We're at opposite sides of the country at the moment, although I might get to visit her next week if I'm lucky. I'm going to give her a hand with her snake dissertation, among other things

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 6:25 AM

MSG


Hey it seems to be working :)
Eloisa- I know just how you feel about the overendowed stuff. I'm a DD cup and it's quite the pain/curse. I still resent that lovely Harvard study where they took the same group of women and had them dress in a variety of professional clothes and have large and small bust. Turns out both male and female surveyed rated the endowed women as dumber, sluttier, less competant, and sloppier than the same women with smaller busts...You know I would have been happier not knowing that:)
I really hope this posts...fingers crossed
I hope I can post before i have to leave for five days on vacation.

I choose to rise, instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006 8:48 AM

TRISTAN


msg, I hope the vacation goes well. Have fun for all of us!


____________


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Thursday, June 22, 2006 4:35 PM

JAMESTHEDARK


How about this for a new direction: Trust.
I am a 21 year old man who has never been in any sort of relationship. I can count the number of friends I've had in my life on one hand, excluding those in my family. I am socially inept and frequently cloister myself. Why? Because I have extreme difficulties with trust.

(A bit of background on this. I was physically and emotionally abused by my peers throughout my school years. In elementary, I never had a single friend, and was bullied and abused constantly. In high school, I was the butt of conversation for anybody who deigned to acknowledge my existence. The only people I could trust were in my family, with a few golden exceptions, but they couldn't help me. But I digress.)

Back to the relationship thing: For me, trust is everything. If I can't trust, I can't do dick all. That's why I have exactly three friends. These are people I trust, and believe me it took a damn long while for me to reach that point. That's most of the reason I've never entered a relationship. I am afraid of social situations, and the people I meet are intimidating. Don't misunderstand, I'm not a small man (6'0, 200 lbs.) but I'm just dreadfully uncomfortable around people I don't know. Once, that discomfort matured a panic attack, and you know I wasn't venturing out for a while after that one.
Since I both desperately require trust, and have next to no capacity in developing it, I'm stuck in a sink hole.
Has anybody else found themselves pincered like this before?

--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

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Thursday, June 22, 2006 10:52 PM

SERYN


I was bullied in school as well, but I seemed to go the other route - the superiority complex and the 'its their loss' attitute if people jerked me around. Kids are the cruellest, and they always get you before you can build your defences.

But all this I did in my own head, I managed to govern my own thinking until trust and intimacy issues didn't affect my everyday social interction, so I have built up a large cirlce of aquaintences, and it builds - the more people you mix with the more you relax around people and the better you can delvelop friendships.

Also, what you need to realise, is you don't have to immedietly forge super duper friendships where you know everything about each other and would trust them with you life and your kids. All you have to do is enjoy yourself around them. Initially, you don't have to give them anything more than your name, and you only have to give them as much of yourself as you feel comfortable with, no more, and at your own pace. I have friends who I only see to go to the cinema or to see a band with, I have friends who i natter with in work, or go to the pub with, then i have a few friends who know a lot about me, but they didn't happen over night, it took a while for us all to feel comfortable enough to share.

So first, push yourself out of your comfort zone - smile at a random staranger, and if they smile back, that makes a small positive eent - if they don't then they are miserable gits who don't deserve your attention.
Enrole in a group or class for something you are interested in - that way you have something set up to talk to people about, and make yourself talk to a different person every time, even if its only a few words, or a joke and a laugh. Expect enjoyment, be happy and friendships will happen all by them selves, and after a while, suggest a group trip to a bar or the cinema. Always try to engineer outings and even date where you have something, like a band or a movie, to talk about should you need a conversation starter, and don't underestimate the power of staying silent - listening to people is a skill that they value.

Whatever you do, don't tell people you are shy and have trust issues, they will believe you and it will always affect the way the relationship develops.

As for panic attacks, I can't even pretend to help you with that. You need to see a counsellor, a professional who can teach you coping mechanisms and ways to avoid it in the first place, and also get to, and hopefully help you get over, the root causes for them anyway. Choose your counsellor well, go for someone who will teach you practical methods for dealing with things.

I hoped all that waffle helped a little. Just don't expect to much of people, you can have lots of fun and be happy with out laying yourself open, as long as you don't expect too much from people to begin with.


**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!

http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Thursday, June 22, 2006 11:02 PM

SERYN


You know i've made five posts now with no problems.

I think we're back!

yey! new subject to go with the trust subject...

no, i can't think of one.

And thank you for your kind comments after all my ranting on myspace tristan. I think i needed that one.

And i still feel unwell *womens trouble alert* something like the fourthday now and its pissing me off like you wouldn't beleive - i think i'm becoming a paracetamol junkie *troubles talk over* but i feel much better now that we have hot water and fireflyfans back again!

Party!

*dances* *throws streamers* *eats cake* *snogs a cute bloke* *dances more*

...come on, i can't party on my own. Celebration time!

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Friday, June 23, 2006 3:10 AM

EMMARIGBY


Well I'll come partay with you Seryn! So nice to be back!
I have a live band to help celebrate our return! I was going to bring them to the Partay or Forsaken thread but since you asked so nicely!

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Friday, June 23, 2006 3:40 AM

TRISTAN


Good morning, all!
Yes, it does seem to be back...whee!!


Boy, howdy, how I have missed this place!

I have some catching up to do, and then some posting.
Seryn, no problem at all. If you ever do need to rant, I am just a click away

I shall return soon, my lovelies!



Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, June 23, 2006 3:47 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Imponderables lovelies, I need your advice. I need your advice badly.
My ex of doom has writtem to me and now I don't know what to do. I just have no idea how to respond. I'm completely pissed off and almost more hurt than I was after his original e-mail adventure. What should I do???

**********************************

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Friday, June 23, 2006 3:55 AM

TRISTAN


PR, what are your feelings towards him? Another thing, do you want to be in contact with him?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, June 23, 2006 4:08 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I don't know that I'd really be able to describe how I feel about him. He said some very horrible things to me in his original e-mail, things I don't want to forgive him for. Everything in that damn message seemed like it was hand-crafted to insult and hurt me as much as possible. He made me angrier than anyone's ever made me. I don't know if I could ever trust him in any way again. I've wondered many times what exactly it was we had, if I was just creating a fantasy in my head or something since we seemed to remember such different things about our relationship. I've wondered if I ever actually meant anything to him at all. But at the same time I know that I couldn't have just been making it all up, and I miss what we had so much it hurts. But it was all built on trust, and I can't trust what he says because he's said too many different things. If he hadn't ever written what he did, it would be different. I don't know if I want to be back in touch with him because I don't know what I want. I don't even know what's real when it comes to him. I'm angry and I'm crying and I want to tell him off and GORRAMMIT HE HAS RUINED MY DAY!

**********************************

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Friday, June 23, 2006 4:19 AM

TRISTAN


PR, do not let your day be ruined. FFF.net is back! All other things are shiny! Do not let someone's words ruin your day. You have moved beyond him; you are in a happier place. The important thing to remember is that he is an "EX"...he has no bearing on your current life...unless you let him. You have the ability to ignore him, or laugh in his face. Trust is an issue. Once you no longer trust someone, that is the end of it. Trust is not something to be idly tossed aside, and this is what he appears to have done. Not something that can be rebuilt easily.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, June 23, 2006 4:26 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


He claims he panicked. What kind of claim is that?

**********************************

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Friday, June 23, 2006 4:39 AM

TRISTAN


PR, that is a chickens**t way of saying he got caught in something he did not want to be caught in and was seeking a way out.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, June 23, 2006 4:45 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


You're more than likely right. I just still wish it hadn't gone down the way it did and have convinced a part of myself that I could change it if I talked to him.
I have to go, must go get paycheck so I can buy Serenity. Might be back later on and if not, then tonight after the movie.

**********************************

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Friday, June 23, 2006 5:42 AM

TRISTAN


PR, we will be here when you return!

Alright, before all the troubles began, where were we? I think the last thing we were playing with was picture-posting...then the site went wonky.

Anyone have anything?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, June 23, 2006 6:28 AM

MAL4PREZ


Yay! Back to the imponderables! I tried posted a few times this week, but it failed and I gave up.

PR - maybe he did panic, but whatever he wants to call it, do you really want that in a relationship? I think you can do better.

Jamesthedark - I know what you mean, kids in school and wicked mean and they tend to go after whoever's weak. They did it to me too, before I learned to defend myself. It sets a bad self-image that lasts a looong time.

I got some really good advice recently, and I'm seeing the positive effects of applying it. It's hard to do but it works, here we go:

*people like to be liked*

That's it! It's a scary thing to do for folks like us who've been burned, but it's so true. If you can respond to new people with something like joy at anything about them, it wins them over. You get stuck in a viscous cycle when you are sure people will be mean, and you receive them with a wall up.

For example - I take dance class, and tend to be shy around the really beautiful/well-trained dancers. But I've been trying to just smile when I catch their eye, instead of looking away, and voila - I've gotten to be friends with a few! Shocker!

Really, other people are like you, looking for acceptance. Take control and offer something good to them, and they will react in kind. I think that's why this site is so good, people offer love and welcome without question.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.[/i

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Friday, June 23, 2006 7:01 AM

SERYN


PR, i'm pretty certain he's a certifiable idiot. Where's his house and how quickly can the Vigilante Shaving Party be there?

I can't help but think that he had no right to contact you like that, theres no way he can believe that writing more letters wouldn't hurt you, and yup, saying he 'panicked' is the cop out.

So Rejoice in the ressurection of FFF.net and look, here's a shoulder for you to cry on until you feel better.

*hugs* for you.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!

http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, June 23, 2006 7:08 AM

RUGBUG


Merciful Zeus, we're back. :huge sigh of relief: I've missed us tremendously.

PR: IMO, you can rebuild trust in some relationships. But the thing that sticks out to me from your post is that this guy said some awful things to you. That in my book is a deal breaker....forever. There are ways to break up with someone, even if you "panic," that don't involve tearing the other person down. It's called owning your "sh&t." You don't villify the other person because you freak out.




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Friday, June 23, 2006 7:12 AM

NUCLEARDAY


Huzzah to Haken and his resuscitation of the site, and a happy Serenity Day to you all! :)

JamesTheDark: I've been down the uncomfortableness road, too. Man, all that teenage angst took quite a long while to wear off. I'm still don't like being around lots of people I don't know, but it's something you can get used to. Best advice is what Mal4Prez said. Everyone else is just looking for people to like them, too. Those with low self-esteem are just looking for someone to like them, and the more conceited types will always want more confirmation of their grandness :) For me, once I realized that most people were wondering how I felt about them as vice versa, it got alot easier.

Far as looking for a special lady-friend: I'd recommend taking things one at a time. Worry less about how you're going to meet that someone special, and start meeting people period :)

PhoenixRose: You have the right to talk to this guy when you are ready to. Just because the guy's got regrets doesn't mean he's changed, and just because he writes you doesn't mean you have to respond. Either way, *hug*

Alright, those are my two cents, at least. Stay shiny, guys.

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Friday, June 23, 2006 8:41 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


to everyone! I knew you'd understand.
Yes, he is a certifiable idiot. Yes, he is a cop-out. Yes, he can't own his shit in any form. No, I don't want the possibility of that kind of panic in a relationship and I know that history tends to repeat itself. No, he had no right to contact me, but in a way I'm glad he did. It means he's finally figuring out that he messed up. Really messed up. Maybe he'll actually learn something from this.
The horrible things he said to me weren't really vilifying, they were just untrue and hence very hurtful. I still have the first e-mail he sent me and could show you all exactly what he said. You might have to know me pretty well to know why a few things were as hurtful as they were, but you can get a general idea:
I understand how you feel Rose. I hope you understand how I currently feel that we should not pursue each other romantically right now.
Lately I have been feeling trapped. Trapped by my
responsibilities, trapped by my parents, trapped at the hospital, and even trapped by my commitments to you. I have never found it easy to talk about being trapped, because I feel like I wont be understood. I cant even claim to know why I feel trapped, all I know is that I feel like the walls are closing in on me.
As for you and me; I feel that our lack of common interests is interfering with our personal growth. I feel that we block each other creativily. The whole time we have been together you have written nothing new, and I have not been drawing much either.
Our lack of spontanueity is another concern, the most unpredictable thing we have ever done is drive up to that one mountain town last time I visited. I believe we fell in with each other because we were both lonely at the time. We gave each other the company we thought we needed at the time, but as we continued I began feeling like the only thing we were doing for each other was keeping each other from feeling alone. It
bothered me that you haven't made any new friends since I met you. Your lack of a social life is unhealthy, and using me as an excuse is even unhealthier. I care about you Rose, and feel that I am less good for you than you think. You constantly worry about me, which causes you to stress out more than you should. I am sorry that you dont want to try to be the better friends that we could be for each other.
I am sorry that it has come down to this, but this is how I feel.
Your friend if you want,
Brandon

Basically, none of it is true. I could get into details, but I could just as easily say that none of it is true. Except the part where he says he's not as good for me as I thought. That part is true.

Here's the new one:
I want to say I am sorry for the pain I must have caused you. I wish I could better explain what was going on with me at that time. I can only say that I was feeling trapped. Not with you but with life in general, and I panicked. I didn't know who to talk to, or who I could trust with a good decision. I do wish that you had been more patient with me, but you are hardly to blame. I wasn't helping your uneasy feelings by acting the way I did. I truly wish I could take back what happened between us. And while I am sure you are not very fond of me. Know that I still love you, and wish you the very best in life. I do wish we could be friends, but I know that is not something you want to deal with. I wish I could ask for your forgiveness for what I did, but I am sure you wont give that either, and I will understand if you do not respond to this at all. I just want to get my feelings out there as I feel they are weighing me down.
With Love,
Brandon

All I can say is that he has a lot of nerve. In a lot of respects. Bah!
Do you think he'll really understand if I don't reply, or will it eat at him? Because really, if this is all it would take to clear his conscience then that's pretty weak. See how he doesn't even say he's sorry for spitting on what we had and acting like it was no big deal? See that? Doesn't even know what he should be apologizing for, he's apologizing for his stupid actions before the breakuop itself. Bah!
As for where his house is and how long it would take you to get there, it's high in the Colorado Rockies; you tell me
I haven't made up my mind yet whether to send my response to him. I have it all written, but I had a response written for the first one too, which I never sent. It was too full of spleen and venom, and I didn't want to just give him a way to justify being a fei fei de piyan to me by saying "Well, see? See how she is?" So I dunno.
And it's way past my bedtime because it took awhile to find a gorram Firefly set to buy today and I need to get up early for the screening. I love you all very much and I will see you tonight.

**********************************

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Friday, June 23, 2006 12:18 PM

SERYN


I'd be tempted just to send him a very short (poison) sweet message saying something along the lines of 'well you've got a nerve. Deal with it yourself'

But please don't take my advice, listen to just about everyone before me, cause I don't seem to be giving out very good advice lately.

Don't loose your dignity and don't give him any outs. (but also, see just above)

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!

http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, June 23, 2006 7:26 PM

TRISTAN


I have started a new thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=21738

Hope to see you all there!


Holding until you get back, Captain.

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